


I'm Awkward (but, like, so are you?)

by Ult_Geek



Series: The Awkward Series [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Akashi Seijuurou is a Dork, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst, Background KagaKuro, Canon Compliant, Discussions on PTSD, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor OC - Freeform, More tags to be added, Psychological Injury, Slow Burn, Training Camp, akafuri - Freeform, akashi getting better, akashi goes to therapy, begone toxicity, cinnamon bun! akashi, confident furihata, cute stuff, established kagakuro, i lied about this being fluffy i'm sorry, it's a fix-it of sorts, justiceforfurihata, possible triggers, shit gets better, we're here for a good time, what do i do cuz i know ZERO first years post last game, why is this not a tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 89,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22050559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ult_Geek/pseuds/Ult_Geek
Summary: “You’re telling me”, began Taiga, taking in a deep breath, “That you’re dating him?”, he pointed at Seijuurou."Uhm? Yeah?". replied Kouki“So how did this all start anyway?”  asked Taiga.Kouki and Seijuurou looked at each other. The brunet felt the grip on his hand tighten.“Well...".Or how two very seemingly different people find that they fit perfectly with each other.
Relationships: Akashi Seijuurou/Furihata Kouki
Series: The Awkward Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703014
Comments: 85
Kudos: 424





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Eventually, the subjects of PTSD and DID, working through it and the causes of it will be discussed so tread carefully. I will do my best to put it in the notes if there's a lot of discussions going on about it. If there's something triggering(like, actually, medical condition triggering) please do inform me and I'll put it in the notes that this is the case so future readers can be aware and avoid the chapter and I'll put a summary of what happened at end notes).
> 
> I might be insensitive and uneducated sometimes but I promise I'm trying my best and am willing to learn if I get something wrong.

Taiga was staring at Kouki from across the coffee table. They were at Tetsuya’s house. There was nothing especially noteworthy in visiting a friend's place. They were close, and enjoyed each other’s company.

But this particular evening held much more in store than an ordinary visit. 

Seijuurou sat beside Kouki, nursing his cup of tea.

“You’re telling me,” began Taiga, taking in a deep breath. “That you’re dating _him_!?” he pointed at Seijuurou.

“Uhm, yeah?” he replied. Kouki looked at the boy sitting beside him, and neither could help the smiles that bloomed.

“Okay no, no, no,” said Taiga. “Look, Furi, I thought you were smarter than this. Hyuuga-senpai is going to murder you if he gets to know.”

Tetsuya walked out from the kitchen and sat beside Taiga, a plate of cookies in his hand, “Which is why we won’t be telling him.” Said the blue-haired boy.

“Look, Akashi, you’re a cool dude and all,” said Taiga.

“Thank you.” replied Seijuurou. He set his cup on the table with all the grace of a prince. Kouki wondered how anyone could make drinking tea look so beautiful. But then again, maybe he was just too far gone.

“But, how do I put this?” Scratching at his chin, Taiga looked like he was in great turmoil, searching for the right words. “Uh….you’ve got issues?”

“We all have issues.” said Tetsuya.

Flailing his arms in confusion, Taiga replied, “But, not _issues_ issues.” He lifted one finger up, put it down, and held two up.

Subtlety was not something Taiga was well-versed in. Surprisingly, Seijuurou chuckled at his sorry attempt to address the identity disorder.

“You do not have to be so hesitant in bringing it up.”

Scratching at the back of his head, Taiga replied. “I’m not saying you don’t deserve love or dating because of it. But you did try to stab me with a pair of scissors.”

Seijuurou looked down at his legs and fell silent for a few seconds. Concerned, Kouki placed a hand on his shoulder. He knew Taiga wasn’t trying to be insensitive, Seijuuroru and Taiga had built a friendship of their own over the course of a year, but he had nailed every problem Seijuurou had on the head.

Lifting his head up, Seijuurou replied. “Kagami-kun, you’re correct. I do have many problems. Rather than giving assurances stemmed in my feelings for Kou-“ he cleared his throat. “Furihata-kun” he corrected and continued. “I’d rather talk about the ways in which I have dealt with said issues.”

Kouki wasn’t just going to sit there and let him spill his entire history with his diagnosis. Taiga deserved an explanation, but it was not worth bringing up extremely personal traumas. It took him a half a year to talk about it with Kouki.

“Seijuurou, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” said Kouki.

“No.” he replied sternly. “Kagami-kun and Kuroko-kun deserve an explanation. I may not say everything, but please bear with me, because these issues are very personal to me.”

“You two are making me out to be the bad guy. I’m just concerned!” he looked to Tetsuya, who simply shrugged and replied. “You kind of are.”

Slamming his head onto the table, Taiga replied, “Of course you’d say that. No milkshake for you for the next week.”

“I love you wholeheartedly my dear.” said Tetsuya, sliding closer.

“Too late.” he replied and addressed Seijuurou. “Explain only what you’re comfortable with.”

Their hands remained intertwined as Seijuurou replied.

“I have Dissociative Identity disorder, which developed due to some past issues. I am able to handle the condition well now, and can function without any issues to my daily living. Even still, I’m currently going for counselling, as recommended by Kou- Furihata-kun. We have both addressed the topic at the beginning of the relationship.”

That was a little bit of lie. Kouki had brought it up even before they began dating. He was aware of how horrible mental illnesses could be, heck, he was an example of such a case. Though it was not as extreme as Seijuurou’s, he had been diagnosed with mild anxiety, which was manageable now.

After that, silence filled the room. Taiga looked a little guilty.

“That’s…….sorry.” said Taiga.

“There is no need to be. I cannot use my problems as justification for the pain I brought upon people.”

Dumbfounded, the boy took a while to find his voice again.

“So how did this all start anyway?” asked Taiga.

Kouki and Seijuurou looked at each other. The brunet felt the grip on his hand tighten.

“Well, it started during Kuroko’s birthday party.” said Seijuurou.

  * \- - - - - - - - -



Kouki was distributing drinks and snacks with the help of Junpei and Teppei. Riko was barred from touching the food for anything other than eating it.

As silent as Tetsuya was, he had managed to make plenty of friends. Outside of Seirin, he was not well acquainted with anyone else, having only met them for a little while during matches. But they were all friendly, casually interacting with him and helping out with setting up the party.

They were all busy decorating, trying their best to move through the space that was not meant to host this amount of people at once.

The doorbell rang and he was the closest to the door, tying up a balloon nearby.

“I’ll get it!”, he said to the group, and opened the door with enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm that went down the drain in about a millisecond.

He should have known the Generation of Miracles would come. It was, after all, their precious sixth man’s birthday. So he should have prepared himself, but it slipped his mind.

Kouki wanted to run.

Palms sweaty, he invited them in and ran to sit beside Teppei.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work. For unknown reasons, Seijuurou seemed hell bent on interacting with him.

After the cake was cut and distributed, they had all settled into chairs or the couch with their teammates or friends. Tetsuya and Taiga kicked him out of the kitchen, saying that he had done enough. But he didn’t want to go too soon. It would be awkward for him anyways, he knew almost none of them.

“No, it’s okay! I’m having fun helping out”

“But you’re my guest”, said Tetsuya, “Please just enjoy now. You’ve helped out a lot”

Thinking of it as fulfilling a birthday wish, he went to the living room and found that there was no space for him to sit. Hiroshi and Koichi had left early, and the seniors were talking to each other. He felt awkward so he decided to stand by the wall.

It was the worst decision he had made that night because Seijuurou had noticed him.

“Furihata-kun? Why are you standing here?”, he asked.

“Oh, that’s,”, he gestured to the living room, “There’s no place to sit”

Seijuurou pointed to the couch, “There is space on the couch”

No, he was not suicidal, but he nodded, though his mind screamed for him to just leave. He had been there for two hours and they had finished the normal birthday party rituals, no one would question it if he left.

They took a seat.

With nothing to do, he took a solo cup and filled it with coke, going through the motions slowly to stretch the time.

“Furihata kun? Is it possible that we can go somewhere a little more private?”

What? Kouki tried to fish for some reason in his tumultuous state of mind for why he would want to talk to him privately. They had talked to each other in small sentences throughout the party. Simple things, like, “Could you please pass the fork?”, “Thank you”, “Excuse me”, things like that.

“Why?”, he asked, sounding more blunt than he intended.

“I would like to talk over a few things, if you don’t mind. I’d much rather speak about it with you personally. But if you are opposed to it, I will try to elaborate here”

He mulled over the information, however little it was and gave his reply, “Akashi-san-”

“Please, you do not need to address me so formally, we are of the same age”

“Then, uhm, Akashi-kun”, he said hesitantly, “It, really depends on what you want to talk about. And, like, we don’t, known each other a lot so”, he stared into the cup, holding it closer to himself, “What would you want to talk about with me?”

Seijuurou nodded, “Well, it is about the Winter Cup finals”

Of course it would be about that. They won the match and he made two points, but it was an embarrassing day for him and he preferred to never talk about it. The source of his mortification was in front of him, and wanted to talk about it. He did not want anyone to see or hear whatever Seijuurou wanted to say.

“Can we head out then?”, asked Kouki, it was a more dignified way to broach that particular topic. Seijuurou seemed fine with it, having gotten his way. Putting on their coats, they headed outside the apartment room and went downstairs.

The farther they got from the warmth and comfort of the room, the worse he felt. Dread filled his gut like a slow dripping faucet, every drop making his insides churn. They stopped at the entrance to the building.

“Well, we’re here?”, said Kouki, trying to lighten the mood, mostly for himself.

Seijuurou stared at him, hands fisted by his side. Kouki wanted to ask further but the boy bowed, a whole ninety-degree and began to speak.

“I would like to formally apologize about my past behaviour”, he said. Panicked, Kouki held up his arms in front of him, “You don’t need to bow! Please!”

Still bowing, Seijuurou continued, “No. I treated you and the others with utmost disrespect. From dismissing you on our first meeting, looking down on you on the court and misjudging your capabilities as a basketball player. I have done a lot of things that need to be addressed”, he closed his eyes, “I sincerely apologize”

Consider this; you run into the thing that cost you a good chunk of your dignity and instilled fear to an extent where you began to question your value as an individual. Now, picture said thing coming to you and apologizing, bowing before you with sincerity. What do you do?

“Uhhh, Akashi-kun” that form of addressing him still left a strange taste in his mouth, “Please stop bowing”

He seemed reluctant to do so but the boy complied, eyes on Kouki.

This led to his own problems now. The biggest dilemma was whether he wanted to forgive him in the first place. Setting aside his fear for a moment, Kouki realized that he couldn’t.

As sincere as the apology seemed, he did not know whether Seijuurou truly meant it. Seirin were in a horrendous condition mentally during the match, to an extent where Riko had to send him in as a last resort.

Taiga and Tetsuya had the worst of it, having to directly confront him. It was mentally taxing, physically draining and was overall, a horrible experience. Though they gained back momentum and won the match, it did not excuse his behaviour in the slightest.

It must be understood that this was his track of thought without the factor of fear involved.

Then he remembered Teppei, who played against Kirisaki Daichi though they ruined his career as a basketball player, Taiga, who continuously faced opponents who were stronger than him without hesitance. Tetsuya, who fought against his old friends with his own kind of power, knowing that he couldn’t do it alone, accepting and improving upon his weaknesses. Junpei, Shun, Rinnosuke, Shinji, everyone. They had all went through so much in their pursuit to be number one, to earn a name for their team.

It would be pathetic to call himself a Seirin member if he couldn’t even stand up for his values. Fear was nothing but a challenger for his teammates.

‘I faced him in his territory on-court, I can do this now’, he steeled himself.

“I…..I accept your apology”, said Kouki. Relief washed over Seijuurou’s face, but he wasn’t done.

“I guess, accept, isn’t the right word, but more like, acknowledge?”, he got in this far, might as well continue. The small smile on Seijuurou’s face was replaced with an expression of concentration, lips drawn in a tight line.

“I just want to say, that…that you did a lot of things. More than me, Kagami and Kuroko are the ones who need an apology, and well, the rest of the team”

Eyes widening, Seijuurou responded, “Rest assured, Furihata-kun, I had-”

“Uhm, that’s”, and fuck, Kouki had interrupted him. He prayed that he wouldn’t be killed or die. Homicide would not be an option for a high schooler right? Seijuurou wouldn’t do that. But then again, he wasn’t just any high-schooler, he was the heir to the Akashi conglomerate. Every time he addressed him, he was reminded of that fact.

“That is…..Sorry for interrupting”

“That’s fine”, said Seijuurou, “Go on”

Fiddling with the ends of his sweater sleeves, he continued, “I’m glad you apologized to them. And I guess they forgave you? I don’t know, but, they went through a lot. It got really bad”

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his hammering heart, he had to say it, even if it meant he would embarrass himself again. For his team, for his friends.

“I get it ya know? The power difference between you and me is”, he chuckled mirthlessly, “ A joke. But”, tightening the hold on his sleeve, he looked up from the ground, “That doesn’t mean you get to disrespect us”

Seijuurou looked startled, looking like he was an observing some strange creature.

“My actions were deplorable”, he began, “You are correct, Furihata-kun. Thank you for accepting my apology regardless”

“Acknowledge”

That seemed to have gotten his attention.

“I haven’t forgiven you. Apologies don’t fix everything, I think”, he said. Kouki knew that his voice trembled and his hands were shaking, sweat pooling in his hand, but he had said it.

Eyes wide, Seijuurou looked at him in something akin to confusion. What were they supposed to do now? Go back to the party? Was he allowed to go back to the apartment and just, pretend this never happened?

Was Seijuurou planning his murder?

The last thing he expected was a smile.

“As expected of Seirin, always taking me by surprise” said Seijuurou, “Thank you for your honesty”

He approached closer, and Kouki took a step back, stumbling on a crack in the pavement. Kouki cursed the universe. Was he really going to fall on his ass again in front of the same guy? Was this trauma reinforcement?

Warm hands grasped his wrist and pulled him forward, preventing the fall.

“Uhm, I uh, sorry”, he said. And whoah, they were close. Back on court, it felt like Seijuurou towered over him, but, at such close proximity, it wasn’t that much of a difference.

“No need to apologize”, replied Seijuurou, letting go of his hand.

Rubbing at the place, Kouki looked up, “…So, was that, it?”

“It should have been, but obviously, mere apologies would not be enough”, said Seijuurou, “My friends were partial to me. It did feel like I was released of my wrongdoings extremely easily. But, you….”

“Akashi-kun, I’m really sorry but my team went through a lot”, Kouki did not know where those words came from, his chest still felt constrained and his throat was choked up , but some words had escaped out of his mouth.

Shaking his head, Seijuurou replied, “I am glad you were honest with me on this matter”

“You too, it’s cool that you’re apologizing to me”, Kouki chuckled, “I didn’t even think you’d remember me”

“I had scared you to an extent where you collapsed. Also, I do not forget the few that are capable of defeating me”

Kouki shrugged his shoulders awkwardly, “That’s my fault. Everyone else were fine. And I didn’t defeat you, my team did”

“We lost by a point difference of one, every basket counted”, he smiled again, “Even yours, and maybe, especially yours”

They took a seat on the bench in front of the apartment, talking through the night about the game. Kouki was scared when they had sat down. He wanted to just go back. He thought of using a text message or a missed call as an excuse to just get out, but, digging through his pant pockets he realized he left it on the dining table inside.

Panic and fear slowly dissipated as the conversation progressed. They talked about basketball for the most part. Their favourite players, favourite games, teams, both in the NBA and among their own competitors. It shifted into discussing the individuals they had their eyes on. Basketball lead to other topics, like school, their hometowns. Seijuurou passionately described Kyoto and they discussed about the places in Tokyo they loved.

While Seijuurou talked about monuments and tourist spots, Kouki elaborated on the little soba shop near Seirin which had good food for less money. It was evident in their discussions that they lived in very different worlds.

But, it didn’t halt their discourse. Somehow, their differences made things better. Then they talked about their hobbies. That topic took a while to properly discuss, both of them having rather strange ones. Still, like everything else, they ended up listening to each other in fascination.

Railroads in Japan and horse racing. Shogi and collecting news articles. Little thrift shops in the alleyways of Tokyo and the architecture of Meiji Jingu.

“Oh there you are!”

The two boys turned back, looking over the bench to see Tetsuya heading over.

“Furihata-kun, you left your phone inside. I thought you left” said the boy, handing his phone over.

Scratching the back of his neck, Kouki replied, “Thanks, sorry for the trouble. We got kinda carried away”

Tetsuya looked to his companion. If he was shocked, it didn’t show.

“I apologize for keeping him for so long”, said Seijuurou.

The three of them headed back upstairs, and things went rather smoothly afterwards. Turns out, they had been out for about an hour. Half the party had gone, but the Generation of Miracles, Yukio and Tatsuya had stayed behind.

Kasamatsu Yukio was a little scary, but, they warmed up to each other. The place was a mess, and they all helped clean up. They had bonded over packing up the used cups and plates into trash bags.

“I wish my stupid juniors were this helpful”, muttered Yukio, aggressively tying up the bag.

Seijuurou fumbled, confused on what he should do. It was obvious he wanted to help, but it was painful watching him mess everything up. Clearly, the boy was not used to cleaning and other such domestic tasks. Kouki had to admit, it was amusing seeing him navigate through this with little to no grace.

After they had finished with the cleaning, they had all fallen into the couch. He wanted to just relax for a while, but he had to start early to get home by at least eleven.

He went to find his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Kouki headed to where Tetsuya and Taiga were to bid them farewell. Seijuurou had his overcoat on, looking ready to leave.

The two bid them farewell together.

“Happy birthday again.” said Kouki, pulling Tetsuya into a hug. “I hope you had a good time.”

“Thank you Furihata-kun.” they broke apart and Tetsuya smiled. “Take care on your way back”

“See ya later.” he said to his teammates and headed out with Seijuurou.

They made their way back down. “Why did you leave so early?” asked the red-head.

“My place is a little far away and curfew is eleven so I’ve got to start early.”

A comfortable silence settled when they got down. The two stood in front of the building, neither leaving.

“This is farewell." said Seijuurou.

Kouki chuckled “That’s a little dramatic isn’t it?”

Seijuurou nodded with a smile.

"See you at the Winter Cup?" said Kouki. "Or maybe earlier if something happens.” He was ready to head out when Seijuurou stopped him.

“Furihata-kun!” he called from the spot he stood. Kouki turned. “Yeah?”

“Can we, perchance, exchange contact details?”

Confused, Kouki agreed, and they exchanged numbers. They waved goodbye and the two went on their separate ways.

When Kouki reached home, it was rather late. His parents had went to bed and the lights were switched off in almost all rooms in their house. His brother had opened the door for him.

Changing out of his clothes and into pyjamas, he slipped into bed with his phone. While setting his alarm, his phone gave notification of a new message.

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain):_ This is Akashi Seijuurou, Furihata-kun. Please respond if you received the message to verify if it’s the correct number.

Me: Yup, it’s me.

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain):_ It is rather late, but I forgot to check back at Kagami-kun’s home. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Me: It’s cool XD I forgot too, remember?

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain):_ True. I expected you to reply tomorrow since it is 11:40PM. It’s unhealthy to stay up so late.

Me: Could say the same to you

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain):_ I cannot sleep well while travelling.

Me: Oh, you’re travelling? Thought you’d stay in Tokyo tonight

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain):_ I cannot afford to miss classes.

Me: Oh

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain):_ Seirin has classes tomorrow too, so please rest well.

Kouki giggled.

Me: Yes mom. G’night!

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain):_ If caring for your health makes me equivalent to your mother, so be it. Sleep well son.

Was that a joke? Did he just witness Akashi Seijuurou make a joke? He screenshot the message for the future.


	2. Chapter 2

The journey back to Kyoto was like a vivid hallucination. His eyes were heavy but he could not drift into the sweet embrace of slumber. Lights were dimmed down in his cart, as they always were at this time of the night in the VIP compartments.

Rather than trying to chase after sleep, he decided to redirect his efforts.

Kouki hadn’t forgiven him.

Though he sought closure, it felt undeserving to be accepted so easily. He knew of all the pain he caused, yet, people outwardly told him he deserved peace.

Seijuurou was well aware that he did not deserve the forgiveness that was served to him on a silver platter. Life would be too easy if that were the case.

But, this stranger from Seirin was able to tie him down to accountability. He expected either Tetsuya or Taiga to be the ones who would act this way, but, they chose to let him go. It bothered him to no ends, because Tetsuya was the one most opposed to his behaviour. Tetsuya refused to let his ‘brother’ take control of him, and yet, he so easily accepted him again.

Then again, maybe Tetsuya just wanted his old team back.

Closure would not come until he earned it with utter perfection. Kouki was blocking his path.

Now, he had to undo everything he inflicted upon this boy, but he did not know where to start. How did one even begin with these kind of things? It was a rather peculiar and specific situation, hence asking for advice from outside sources would prove difficult, possibly futile.

But he had to try.

There was progress thankfully, even before his mission began. Kouki was not as terrified of him as before. They were able to converse normally, to an extent where they exchanged contact details and had a pleasant conversation about mutual interests.

Therefore, the next step would be eliminating the fear completely, and befriending him to show that he has changed. Additionally, he needed to make him aware that he formed a good connection with his teammates in Seirin too. Tetsuya and Taiga were no problem, but the rest of the team would be difficult.

As the train came to a halt, an idea manifested.

The next day at practice, he approached their coach.

“Would it be possible to have a training match with Seirin?” he asked.

Their coach looked away from his notepad. “Why the sudden request?”

“It would be helpful for the next Winter Cup to understand their strategies to compensate for our weaknesses.”

Shirogane nodded. “I understand, but your finals are approaching and I doubt the department would allow for it now. We’ll see.”

Right, that was a thing. Seijuurou was a little disappointed, but he did not let it deter him.

“Actually, I scheduled the team to practice with Seirin during the break.” Said the coach.

The stars were probably aligning in his favour. Seijuurou nodded and headed to the locker rooms to change. Things went by smoothly the rest of the day, but dinner was rather awkward, since his father decided that they would have their meals together as much as possible. Neither of them were capable of small talk, hence it was quiet.

Added to that, he did not want to talk to him.

Years of isolation and unrealistic expectations tended to do that. He lived thinking that excellence was the norm. Though he was now aware that it was unnecessary to be so hard on himself, Seijuurou couldn’t forgive himself for anything less than perfection.

He couldn’t simply forget.

The effort his father was making was very obvious, and Seijuurou felt like there were cacti shoved into his throat whenever he tried to communicate with him. As far as parental figures went, he was not the worst. Physical abuse was never in the picture and they had rarely spoken to each other.

The last painless memory he had of his father was when his mother was still around.

Everyone ached when she left them. His uncles and aunts wept unabashedly, forgetting their positions in society, letting the grief shroud them from judgmental eyes. Seijuurou remembered staying near the coffin, looking at her peaceful face and wondering when she would wake up.

She had looked like she always did when she was sound asleep, albeit, her hair was combed to perfection and her pajamas were replaced with a stuffy suit. Regardless, Seijuurou believed she would open her eyes drowsily and look down at him.

Then, she would rub her eyes and smile. “Sei-chan? You woke up earlier than me again.”

It never happened, and things had felt incomplete ever since.

Every relative of his had disappeared since then, courtesy of his father. Friendships were allowed only if they were beneficial and he was stuck in a mansion that would always be too large for him. He grew up, catching only glimpses of the man who was supposed to be his father.

Any time they had met privately, it had been about grades, curricular and extra-curricular performance. He had been reduced to numbers in his father’s eyes and he had learnt to think of it as normal.

Until Teikou.

When he thought of Teikou, a quote always surfaced in his mind;

‘It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.’

He chuckled and closed the notebook on his desk. Teikou taught him camaraderie, of losses and affection. There were people who had looked past his surname and viewed him as a teammate, a friend, a simple middle-school student.

Like footprints on sandy shores, the happiness disappeared as waves of sadness dragged itself on the land. 

Expectations from his father turned into a cursed rosary, chanting commands of victory and incompetence into his ears. Then all hell broke loose as he let his team fall apart in front of his eyes. Whatever humanity he had left was packed quietly into a box and was very literally replaced with the thing his father wanted.

It turned out disastrous. Fortunately, they had all went back to the way they were for the most part after the Winter Cup.

Though he was tempted to blame his father for everything, he had played his own part too. It was difficult to face the man, no matter how much it seemed like he was trying. Monthly reports of his progress were gone, meetings with children of his business associates had become non-existent and there were no reminders about the university he had to aim for and what course he had to undertake. He was, to put carefully, free?

When Seijuurou had dared to inquire upon it, his father had simply said that being blood-related did not warranty the position of a CEO.

To translate, Seijuurou did not need to inherit the company.

He was still confused but did not want to pry much, lest he incurred his father’s anger, and had quickly walked away to his room. The question floated in his mind still.

Seijuurou went to the dining hall and took his seat. As had become schedule now, his father was seated at the head of the table, three chairs away from his own, unlike the previous norm of ten.

He swallowed down the food that always tasted the same and excused himself, leaving the premises as quickly as possible.

Entering his room, he began to take out his stationery and reopened his book to begin his revision and homework, when he noticed that he received a message.

From Taiga.

They had never personally messaged each other, and found no need to do so.

_Kagami Taiga(Seirin):_ What were you doing with Furihata?

Well, that was a rather odd first message. He replied.

Me: Good evening Kagami.  
I was conversing with him yesterday.  
May I know why you are asking me of this?

 _Kagami Taiga(Seirin):_ Cuz he’s shit scared(no offense) of u  
& he  
straight up disappeared for an  
hour along with u which freaked  
everyone out.

But Kuroko calmed everyone down  
but I was still hella confused

Of course, not everyone trusted him completely yet.

Me: Rest assured he was fine. I think you and the others  
overestimate his fear of me. We conversed and  
resolved most of our issues.

 _Kagami Taiga(Seirin):_ If u say so. Mess with him & u’ll have  
to face me.

He couldn’t help but smile. They were very protective of each other. He wished he could build such a strong bond with his own team, or something akin to it.

Me: I will not. The only battles we will have will be on court.  
Outside, I hope we can all be good acquaintances and  
friends.

Taiga agreed and bid him goodbye. But the issue of Kouki being scared of him to an extent where two people had to intervene and inquire irked him. Beating around the bush would be useless. He needed to resolve this quickly.

Me: Furihata-kun are you scared of me?

The response was almost immediate.

_Furihata Kouki(Seirin):_ Why do you ask that? Something up?

Me: Kagami messaged me stating that you were possibly  
uncomfortable speaking with me. I do not want to  
cause any inconvenience to you.

 _Furihata Kouki(Seirin_ ): Oh…….  
No dude, it’s cool. Rest easy :D

He breathed a sigh of relief and replied.

Me: Okay. Thank you for the confirmation.

Seijuurou was confused. This boy, Furihata, was the last tether to his mistakes, and yet, communicating with him was not unpleasant. Quite the opposite actually. He did not know why, but he was growing curious.

One of the better things that had come out of the pressures for perfection was Seijuurou grew to be persistent, and he would figure this out.

No matter what it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the necromancer of this community. Wish I had been here during the active days to see the influx of fics but alas. If, for some reason, KNB gets aired again and there's a new set of fans that revive the community, it'd be the BEST!


	3. Chapter 3

Kouki had about three assignments to submit at the end of the week and he did not feel like touching them any time before Wednesday. Not even Riko’s threats of bodily harm could stop him from chilling. He deserved this after yesterday’s party clean-up and the emotional roller coaster he had to endure.

As he clumsily moved to his chair, headphones on and hands clasping his phone, a notification decided to interrupt his jamming session.

‘Knew I should’ve muted the group chat.’ he thought and opened the message.

It wasn’t the group chat.

It was Seijuurou.

_Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Furihata-kun are you scared of me?

He stared at the message as the music continued to blast into his ears. It was some English rock song that went viral a few years ago. He liked the song, but it did not help with thinking. At all.

He turned it off and took a seat by his study desk, the chair rolling back a little at the impact.

Was he scared of Seijuurou? A little. Not really, because as Tetsuya had hinted before, that wasn’t the ‘real’ him. There were two of them, if he got it right, and that in itself was cause for concern.

So, yeah, he was scared, but not anymore, not really, after taking his situation into consideration.

But, why did he ask about it after the conversation they had? Kouki thought he made it clear that he did not feel any discomfort around him anymore so what prompted this?

Me: Why do you ask that? Something up?

The message bubble showed that he was typing a lot, and Kouki waited, a little nervous. Though he wasn’t scared of Seijuurou, he was still very much scared of social interaction with new people. Socializing wasn’t his area of expertise, and with a boy like Seijuurou, he needed to be a little careful. Kouki knew there was no cause to fear a boy who was at least three hours away(by the Hikari Shinkansen, it would take approximately that much time).

_Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Kagami messaged me stating that you were possibly  
uncomfortable speaking with me. I do not want to  
cause any inconvenience to you.

 _Me_ : Oh…….

Taiga? Among the first years, Kouki knew he was treated more softly than the others because of his hesitant nature. Taiga had somehow taken it to be his responsibility to ‘protect’ him. Well, he did that with every member, but for the others, he acted like a cool older brother. To Kouki…….

He acted like a hovering mother, basically.

It was getting slightly out of hand.

_Me:_ Oh………  
No dude, it’s cool. Rest easy :D

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Okay. Thank you for the confirmation.

Kouki thought that it was the end of the conversation, and decided to restart the song, but another notification popped up before he could proceed.

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Does anyone else think I am ‘scary’ within  
your team?

Difficult questions seemed to be the highlight of the day. In class, he was called on by the Maths and History professor to answer, and now, Seijuurou was asking him answers for which if he were honest, he’d be a douche bag.

The first years’ were on opposite ends. Taiga and Tetsuya did not fear him, but Koichi and Hiroshi were extremely cautious.

The second years’ were also wary, not out of fear exactly, but because they didn’t want to lose to them the next year.

Me: they respect you a lot

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : For some reason, the long gap before the reply  
suggests that the word ‘respect’ is putting it  
differently than what reality indicates.

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Am I wrong?

And he thought he was safe at least through text. 

Me: No. You aren’t.  
Me: They’re still scared, but they respect you too  
It’s both. Fear and respect.

In that moment, the title of ‘Emperor’ made so much sense. But, he really wasn’t like that anymore, as far as Kouki could see. Any friend of Tetsuya was most likely nice, though it was difficult to see. Daiki and Atsushi still scared him to some extent, but they were nice off-court. Mostly. Kind of. At least Daiki was. At the party Daiki helped him with carrying the garbage bags.

_Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : I wonder, if there’s any way to completely  
extinguish the fear.

Me: You’re already otw

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : ‘otw’?

Me: Yeah, cuz you apologized & are making an effort  
right? That’ll pay off soon.

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Thank you. But. What does ‘otw’ mean?

Kouki stared at the message for a long while. Maybe this should be expected, because Seijuurou always spoke in that strangely formal way, with lots of flower-y analogies thrown in the middle. Transcribing his description of plum blossoms would probably land him in ‘A’ for his assignments.

Me: ‘otw’-> On The Way

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain):_ Thank you for the explanation. I am still  
learning ‘text talk’, though it confuses me  
every time I try to use what I have learned.

Me: Eh? Really? Why tho? Everyone fucks up-

Nope, backspace. Kouki doubted Seijuurou would like cussing.

Me: Eh? Really? Why tho? Everyone messes up.

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : I am not too sure. Could I possibly practice  
with you? If it’s not inconvenient. I have  
many doubts too, regarding the context of  
certain vocabulary.

Him? Teaching Akashi Seijuurou something? The universe was pulling a good one on him. But, this was his area of expertise anyways. Why not impart some wisdom?

Me: Of course! But Google can help too yeah?

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Unfortunately, internet articles lead me to  
unconventional or rarely used terms. It is  
unreliable.

Me: Oh. Then I’ll do my best!!! XD  
FAITO AKASHI-SAN!!

Akashi: Thank you. ‘Faito’ is one term I am  
familiar with :D

Damn it all, but Seijuurou was being…..adorable? How? He had never seen anyone so hesitant about using a simple smiley emoji. Kouki decided to spam a bunch of sparkle and confetti emojis to show his appreciation.

Me: That’s me encouraging you d(￣◇￣)b

Akashi: Thank you（＾ｖ＾).

A boy learning to use emoticons should not make him feel this way, whatever this feeling was, but it was happening. Was he proud? Happy? Excited? It was like watching an aggressive cat cuddling up to a soft blanket (that analogy would be for Kouki alone).

“Oi. You look like a creep.” his brother commented, entering his room.

Groaning, he slid further into his chair. “Go away.”

Kouta kicked his leg, “Respect your brother brat.”

Immature as it was, he blew a raspberry and turned back to his phone. Kouta was having none of it. He leaned over his chair to spy on the messages. Kouki pulled the phone close into his chest. “Who’s being disrespectful now?”

Leaning back to stand straight, Kouta rubbed his chin in thought, “Hmm? Spamming emojis, being all cutesy, hiding things from you dear bro,” he turned the chair so Kouki faced him. The boy towered over him, hands on the chair.

“So? Is it a girl?” asked Kouta, grinning from ear to ear.

Kouki would laugh because the last girl he interacted with was Riko. The basketball club effectively blocked him from the female population. Even in class, the boys surrounded his table to discuss the basketball matches. There was also the fact that he was awkward with the opposite sex.

But, letting Kouta know that would mean permanent ego damage.

“Just go away and like, do your homework or something.”

His precious, precious brother decided that was permission to stay. He fell onto Kouki’s bed and tackled the pillows. “No denying? So it is a girl.”

‘Your predictive capabilities are actually trash.’

“Not your business.” he returned to his phone and typed.

Me: Always welcome (＾ω＾) Sorry for the late reply,  
my bro decided to bug me.

 _Akashi_ _(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Oh that’s fine.  
_Akashi_ _(Rakuzan Captain)_ : You have a brother?

Me: Yeah. A year older than me. He’s in the soccer  
club

Kouki eyed his brother, who was still smiling like he had some dirt on him.

Me: and he’s an asshole

“I just made her aware of how much of an idiot you are.” said Kouki, mirroring his brother’s smile. “Would’ve forgot to mention it if you didn’t barge in”

They stared at each other, Kouki braced for the next move and his brother jumped out of bed to try and grab his phone. Kouki got out of his chair as Kouta lunged for it, putting the chair in between the both of them. But Kouta was taller than him, with longer limbs. He pushed the chair into Kouki and as he recovered from the wheel that ran over his leg, Kouta managed to grab the phone.

_Akashi_ _(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Tell me more.

Kouki struggled to get the phone, as the boy scrolled further up. Thankfully, Kouta let his guard down, and Kouki pulled the phone away from him.

“Privacy? Do you know what that is?” he asked, arms folded.

“Nothing between family. And she wants to know more about me.” Kouta winked, “Akashi huh? She talks really cutesy”

Kouki snickered. “Yeah. I bet _he’s_ totally your type”

Raising an eyebrow, Kouta asked. “He? Eww”

“Thought you said he was real cutesy?”

Sighing, Kouta shrugged. “Fuck off.” he said and pretended to barf.

“Bye bye, Satan’s spawn.” said Kouki and slammed the door shut. He let out a deep breath and tried not to ponder upon his brother’s reaction to the idea of him dating a hypothetical boy.

Right, this was his other dilemma.

But it shall be dealt with later, like every one of his other major issues.

Me: His name’s Kouta. 2nd year going on 3rd.  
Soccer club ace, and apparently the  
heartthrob of his school, though idk why.  
His grades are abysmal & he plays the guitar

 _Akashi_ _(Rakuzan Captain)_ : He sounds intriguing. Do you play any  
instruments?

Me: Drums, but I quit about two years ago so  
I’m rusty hbu(How About You?)

 _Akashi_ _(Rakuzan Captain)_ :: I play the violin, piano, cello, flute and  
the harp. Thank you for the full form of  
‘hbu’. This formatting is very helpful.

Me: Bruh……that’s a lot  
Me: And ur welcome, told ya I’m here to help

The conversation progressed in a similar fashion for a while. Kouki did not think he would be so invested in a conversation, ever. He knew he should be going to bed early but the intrigue got to him, and the conversation was interesting.

Seijuurou had a pet horse the same age as him, he liked to play shogi and hated disobedient dogs. The idea of Seijuurou trying to train a dog that refused to listen to him made him chortle.

Their conversation ended when Seijuurou had noticed the time. He excused himself and went to sleep, leaving Kouki happy, but a little empty since the conversation ended. Somehow, he looked forward to continuing the conversation.

‘Two weeks ago if someone told me this, I’d have laughed at their face.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasssssup.


	4. Chapter 4

Life proceeded on in almost the same manner for Kouki. Finals were in a month and he barely remembered what happened the previous day in classes. If his parents got to know that he was slacking in favour of playing basketball and video games, he knew he’d be fucked. But, his secret was safe since Kouta and himself made a pact to not rat each other out.

Classes ended and he raced out of the room to the school gym. His seniors’ spirit and dedication was contagious and he couldn’t help but fall in love with this routine and the game itself. On most days he went to school just for practice. Even outside of regular practices with the team, he found himself in the neighbourhood basketball court practicing on his own.

Basketball was less a chore and more of a way to be free. Alone, with the ball, he didn’t really think of much else.

The first years made their way in together and lined up. Riko was looking through some papers while the rest of them chattered on.

When it was ensured that all the members arrived, their Coach cleared her throat.

“I have an announcement”, she said, jumping out of her seat with a wide grin on her face.

Okay, bad omen.

Kouki prayed it wasn’t anything too bad. Surely, she couldn’t cook up something ruthless just a bit before exams. How could they give their all for passing their first year if their bodies were sore from (torture) practice?

He turned to look at Taiga and Hiroshi, who were sweating bullets already.

“Now that our year is coming to an end, we need to wrap up practices and evaluate how far we’ve come and what we’d need to improve upon in the next year.” said Riko, pacing in front of them with a skip in her step.

Oh no, no, no.

This was definitely going to be something bad.

“So, your beloved, wonderful Coach.” she continued with a smile. “Has set up a practice match for us with Rakuzan!”

Most looked to each other in confusion. Taiga seemed more fired up than disappointed, so was Tetsuya. Juunpei’s shoulder tensed, Shun curled his fists. It was obvious they were anticipating this more than dreading it.

That was them.

But Kouki didn’t know what to think.

Any other team would be fine, even Kaijou, but Rakuzan was different.

Too soon. Too fast. No way. He literally just got fully comfortable with Seijuurou. Facing that boy on the court, as an opponent, was going to ruin everything. Wouldn’t he simply drop whatever they had built? He was absolutely useless and Seijuurou was actually perfect. Why would he even want to continue talking to someone who offered him nothing?

The only comfort he had after the humiliating defeat was that he would have enough time to practice and improve himself before facing off against them. But this was too soon.

He needed some time. At least a few more months before he could face Rakuzan as a competitor.

“And another news!” announced Riko. Kouki thought he could see flowers blooming around her with how ecstatic she looked.

“We’re having a training camp with Rakuzan for a month during semester break!” she gleefully ended.

All Kouki could do was stand there. Was this fear? Numbness? He couldn’t tell.

To stand on court, to feel powerless again, to embarrass himself in front of everyone again.

Maybe his imminent defeat would be less impactful if he hadn’t ever gotten to know Seijuurou at all.

Practices began and he zoned out. The drills and warm-ups were the same anyways so he didn’t need to think while doing them. Tetsuya struggled with the stretches, and as always, Taiga and he helped him out.

Even after a year, it seemed like Tetsuya’s muscles were stubborn in their stiffness. It was both painful and hilarious watching him trying his best. Even Hiroshi and he improved recently. Still, watching the blue-haired boy doing his best even if it seemed like there was little to no change was motivating.

Somewhere along the way, he learnt to accept his shortcomings as they were. He was in it for fun, overthinking things would take the joy out of it. He really tried to keep it that way but alas, drama came in like a wrecking ball and before he knew it, he was somehow caught up in it.

It was kind of entertaining watching the ever-evolving dynamics of the Generation of Miracles and their ‘feud’ from afar but being involved in it was just frustrating.

It was all entertaining but losing wasn’t. Especially, losing in front of a team that seemed more like gods than humans. That’s the kind of thing that would damage a person’s confidence. Or at least, his own.

Was he overreacting? Maybe, but these were his feelings. If fear, with its’ sharpened claws and suffocating hands had a vice grip on him, then what could he do? It was there and it wasn’t going away anytime soon.

He had to deal with it on a time limit and he didn’t even know where to start.

The two hours passed by quickly and they headed to the showers. As always, it was ice-cold, but he stayed in longer. His feet refused to move as his fingers pruned. Thankfully he was the last one to go in so no one was waiting for him outside.

Unfortunately he couldn’t stay inside forever, even if he wanted to.

“Hey! Who’s still inside?” called Shinji, knocking on the door.

“Oh! Sorry _senpai_ , I’ll get out soon!” he replied.

“Okay, come out quick, we need to lock up.” said Shinji.

Unlike the other members, Satoshi and Shinji weren’t prodigies in basketball. They were people he could rely on when he wanted help. The others were willing, but there was a disconnect of sorts. Shinji was always there, doing his best to explain and answer all his questions in ways he understood. 

“ _Senpai_! Are you still here?” asked Kouki, the shower head still on.

“Yeah?” he replied, voice dampened down by the distance.

“How….” he began, trying to frame it right. “ What do you do when you’re scared?” he asked.

There was no reply. Kouki wondered if he had even been audible to him.

He heard a laugh ring through the showers. “You’ve seen what I do.” replied Shinji.

“Don’t kid _senpai_ , what do you do?” he asked.

“To refresh your memory,” his voice was closer, he was probably standing outside the stall. “I complain a lot”.

He needed answers, he needed to find a way to get over it quickly and this was really not helping.

“But you play!” retorted Kouki. “You don’t just! Just- Freeze up!”

“Is this about you?” asked Shinji.

Was there any point denying it?

“Yeah……”

Kouki thought he heard a small chuckle. “I feel you. But that’s literally what I do. I complain, I rant and say everything that makes me scared.

“Basically, I get it off my chest till I’m thinking, ‘well, whatever happens, happens’. “

Kouki paused. “Would that work?”

“I don’t know.” he replied, an air of nonchalance. “That’s up to you to figure out. We all have our ways.”

“Right” said Kouki. “Thanks for the advice”

“Anytime buddy.”

The water hit the floor in a steady rhythm, cloaking him in a space where he could just, stop. As expected, it wasn’t going to be that easy. If someone else had the answers to his problems, it sure would have been nice.

Making up his own answers was a struggle he didn’t want to go through. There was always a chance he would be wrong.

He remembered confessing to his now, former-crush. It was difficult to muster up the strength to get those words out, but after he did, it was like the weight of the world double-downed on him.

It was a slow process. Admitting that he held feelings for her, then finding the conviction to plan a confession, actually confessing, then waiting for the answer. It seemed to always escalate.

What if it would always be like that?

“Hey Furi?”

“Yes?”

“Get out of the shower.” Deadpanned Shinji.

Setting his thoughts aside, Kouki turned the water off and changed into fresh clothes. Bidding goodbye, he walked alone towards his house. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to face his family and his brother at the moment. They would bombard him with chores and questions which he wasn’t ready to respond to.

There was a park nearby, mostly empty at this time of the day since the sun began to set. He made his way there and spotted the jungle gym. The place was painted yellow and orange, shadows looming like monsters from the towering buildings and playground equipment.

He made his way atop the jungle gym and set his bag to the side. Pulling out his phone, he typed a quick message to his parents saying he would be a little late. They never questioned him much since he had a habit of hanging getting in extra practice at the basketball court. His parents thought he was in a group study with Hiroshi and Koiichi but what they don’t know won’t hurt them.

Before he could throw his phone back in his bag, he noticed there was another message.

_Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ : Good evening Furihata-kun.

He couldn’t deal with this now, but leaving him on ‘read’ would be a bad idea. He would reply without hesitance, but thoughts of the future match and the endless ways in which he could mortify himself constantly ran through his mind.

Me: Good evening

 _Akashi(Rakuzan Captain)_ :: Did you hear of the news that we  
would be practicing together?

Oh, so they would be talking about that. Great, just what he needed.

Me: Yeah I did

 _Akashi_ : I look forward to meeting you!

Kouki couldn’t tell if he was mocking him or he was genuinely excited. The saner side of him knew Seijuurou was simply telling the truth. His passion for basketball and his respect for Seirin as a team, which he expressed often enough in their previous texts, were all indicators that he was being truthful.

But the other side, the one which he couldn’t deny or suppress, took this as mockery. It clouded everything with a sense of strange disdain. He didn’t like it. It was ugly, it was pathetic.

Yet, he couldn’t lie and say he was looking forward to it too, because who would look forward to being humiliated?

Me: See you soon!

He chose to reply using that, to stay true to his heart and not hurt Seijuurou.

Over the past week or so, the boy was going out of his way to text Kouki. It started off simple, messages resembling things his mother would send. Like, “Good morning!”, “I hope you slept well”, and “Sweet dreams”. It was always tagged with some emoji, taking full advantage of his newfound powers.

It made him giggle, gave him some strange sense of weightlessness.

To think of Seijuurou and the things related to him with black and grey tinted shades felt unfair to him.

Even still, what could he do?

He wished he could talk with Seijuurou as just a friend, and never as a basketball player. That was reserved for people like Taiga and the Generation of Miracles, and even Rakuzan.

Not him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akashi doesn't know how to interact like a human teenager and is trying really, really hard but is doing nothing but creeping Furihata out. dw they'll get there.


	5. Chapter 5

Kotarou and Eikichi sung loudly along to an old ballad on their way to Tokyo. Seijuurou cheered them on whilst Reo tried to stop them. Chihiro was fast asleep at the back of the bus with his earphones in. Seijuurou was concerned that they were disturbing their senior’s slumber but the boy had a reputation for having the ability to fall asleep anywhere and on any surface.

He was graduating but they needed to be supervised and the most convenient options for their Coach were Chihiro and their former manager, Shouta Higuchi.

It was initially concerning seeing Reo so agitated, but he understood that it was all pretense. When his fellow Uncrowned Kings weren’t looking, Reo smiled behind his hair in amusement, but continued the act of annoyance.

Their manager struggled to calm their bus driver who was finding the singing distracting.

Fortunately the impromptu karaoke session came to an end since the participants were exhausted.

“I brought rice cakes and desserts!” declared Eikichi and opened his rather large bag and pulled out boxes and boxes of food. The team gravitated towards him and took their share.

“This tastes wonderful.” complimented Seijuurou, taking another bite out of his portions.

Grinning, Eikichi ruffled his hair roughly. “Eat up and get those gains Captain! We can’t let them get away this time!”

Kotarou jumped excitedly, much to Reo’s chagrin. “Yes! We’ll show them!”

Eikichi joined in with his teammate’s cheers, reviving the noise once again.

Reo rubbed at his forehead. “These two, why must they be like this all the time?” he muttered under his breath.

Chihiro had woken up and had taken his share. He proceeded to the back and began to read his book while snacking.

“Some days, I wish I could be as unbothered as Chi-chan.” said Reo, turning to Seijuurou as if he could provide some answers.

“Would you like to listen to my playlist? It could possibly help with the noise.” supplied Seijuurou as he pulled out his phone from his bag. Reo pulled him into a hug. “I knew that you were the only boy I could trust.”

They moved to the back to sit beside Chihiro, who stared at his two teammates as they took their seat.

“Decided to give up?” he asked.

“You bet.” replied Reo. “There is only so much I can take.”

Chihiro nodded. “If either of you make noise…” he trailed. The unsaid threat conveyed clearly to the both of them, not that it was taken seriously.

Either ways, Seijuurou was never loud.

They fell asleep with their earphones in and Seijuurou had noticed that the bus had quieted down within the first hour and everyone had fallen asleep. Well it was expected, the school had been driving them to the brink of exhaustion since finals were around the corner. He wished to tutor them but being a year younger, he wasn’t fully aware of their syllabus. All he could do was provide them with motivation and help them schedule time tables.

Seijuurou knew they never followed it, but he made them still. He knew they tried to, but not everyone was like him. They had mentioned his schedules were strict and excessive with no room for relaxing.

That was when he realized maybe he should probably make his own schedule a little more lax.

They taught him so much in their own ways, each with a lesson that was learned through an experience, things stated like they were the norm. He remembered these lessons best. Every day, it seemed they had something new to show him.

The rolling plains and far off mountains transformed to towering buildings, indicating they reached Tokyo. The team kept their luggage in their hotel rooms and headed out to the highly recommended Maji Burger. Mostly, it was Taiga who showered the humble fast food restaurant with praise. Seijuurou assumed the owner must be overjoyed with all the repeating customers.

As expected, they did end up running into some of the Seirin team members. They seemed to have just gotten back from practice. It was only some of the first years that were present, but Seijuurou greeted them, though he knew none out of the trio except for Kouki.

“You guys reached already?” asked Kouki. “How was your trip?”

Seijuurou nodded. “The trip was pleasant.”

Kouki turned to his side and his friends patted him on his shoulder and left, leaving the boy alone with his tray of food.

“Care to join us?” asked Seijuurou, scooting closer to Reo to make space for the boy. Kouki looked at the crowd for a while, as if assessing the situation, and sat down.

“Why don’t you introduce us?” asked Reo, nudging his captain’s shoulder. The Rakuzan team turned to look at Kouki. The boy politely bowed his head and introduced himself.

“Oh!” exclaimed Koutarou. “You’re the dude that tripped!”

Before Seijuurou could correct them, they proceeded to bombard the boy with questions and Eikichi had taken to calling him ‘Chihuahua’. Kouki didn’t seem too bothered so he let it go on.

“Will that Kagami be playing tomorrow?” asked Eikichi. “It’s been a while since I saw him.”

“Yeah,” replied Kouki, taking a bite of his burger. “He’s like, in first line, and he’s a regular so, he’ll be there.”

“Is that captain of yours still there?” asked Reo. He never hid the fact that he hated him.

“Hyuuga-senpai? Uhm, yeah. He’s still captain.”

Koutarou jumped in. “Is Izuki staying the third year? It’ll be boring without him.”

“Yep. It’s….basically the same line-up.”

Seijuurou asked. “Would you be playing?”

Kouki scratched the back of his head and shrugged. “Probably not. We can’t go easy on you guys.”

Before Seijuurou could retort, Kouki requested to leave after looking at his phone. The boy gathered his belongings in a clutter in one arm and rushed out with a bow.

\--------------------

Maji Burger was an oasis for the Seirin team. Most of all, it was Kouki’s sanctuary. What more could a guy ask for? Food, a decent restroom, occasionally good music and this really cute part-timer who….he actually had not seen the past week.

Well, the food was still good and pretty cheap.

So to say he was shocked when he saw the entire Rakuzan team in _his_ spot, the one at the corner right by the window where he can look outside, was an understatement. He really did not want to meet them. Seeing them for a practice match in itself was nerve-wracking, but this was way too much way too fast.

His traitorous friends abandoned him after a greeting. Before he could escape, Seijuurou somehow made place for him to sit, bless his heart, and he couldn’t really deny him. Confrontation with people was fine until it got to the conversing part. So he took a seat among this strange cluster of high school students who stood out even without the basketball skills and tried to not be awkward.

Seijuurou was someone he had become comfortable with but they weren’t so close they could intrude into each other’s’ friend circles. Plus, most of their conversation happened via text where everything was pleasant and he could hide behind his phone and an array of memes and dumb jokes. This was real life though.

It couldn’t be too bad though right? They were still around the same age as him.

“Chihuahua-kun, could you recommend something from the menu?”

Oh great. He was being referred to as a little shivering dog. The other guy had remembered him because he tripped. First impressions. Perfect.

Kouki knew they meant no harm but it fucking hurt okay? He knew he wasn’t the best but being referred to solely on his fuck-ups was kind of a low-blow. An unintended blow but painful nonetheless.

But they were right weren’t they?

They had every reason to refer to him like that. Even if he wanted to he couldn’t defend himself and tell them to stop because they were spot-on.

They continued to ask him about the others and he spoke little, giving nothing more than what they asked for. Speaking was getting difficult and swallowing down the food was even worse. He took a sip of his cola to make the feeling disappear but it made nothing better.

“Would you be playing?” asked Seijuurou with that smile he seemed to always wear these days. The small, barely there smile that appeared to be a permanent fixture on his face. Was he smiling wider, was he smiling lesser? Was he really asking if he would play against them?

There was a reason why no one else asked him.

This was common courtesy, social etiquette and unsaid rules of friendships, if he could even call it that. Things like the casual, ‘how are you?’ and ‘how’s everything going?’ But these were basics. These things got more specific based on context and that’s why the boy who absolutely destroyed him on court still had to treat him like some equal and ask if they would meet on-court.

Social etiquette.

He replied hastily and made an excuse of someone calling him and walked out. Food, coat and his bag in one hand and the drink and phone in the other. Positively a mess.

As long as he could get out, it didn’t matter that he looked so haggard. Staying there would have been much worse anyways.

  * \- - - - - - - - - - - -- ---------------



Since Tetsuya’s theories on meteors destroying things were not coming true any time soon, the sun rose once again and the practice match began. Kouki had blessedly been interjected by Riko and the rest of the team the entire time with everyone revising plans, back-up plans and back-up, back-up plans. So he couldn’t exactly do anything but smile at Seijuurou who waved at him from his own team’s spot.

The match quickly began with neither team conversing, except for its captains.

Junpei, Shinji, Satoshi, Rinnosuke and Shun were the first ones to go into the practice match. It was a relief he wasn’t in the first quarter, he was too used to the bench and playing on the court was something Kouki had learned to not expect.

First quarter ended with Rakuzan taking a lead by twenty points.

“Furihata, Fukuda. Switch with Mitobe and Izuki.” said Riko.

Kouki stood up. “I’m playing!?”

Riko tilted her head. “What kind of a question is that?” she lightly tapped his head with her writing pad.

The group huddled together and Riko debriefed them of their plans. He would swear on his life he was trying to listen but he was too busy panicking. Shun pulled him aside and made three puns while giving him pointers and pushed him onto the court with a wide smile and a cheer. Suddenly the whistle was going off and the squeak of shoes against the polished floor was flooding his senses.

Fate seemed to have decided take mercy on him because Seijuurou, and two of the Uncrowned Kings weren’t playing. They were replaced with first years. It was still difficult, though they were the same age as him. Just because they didn’t have a fancy title, didn’t mean they were weak.

‘As expected of Rakuzan.’

He relaxed a little seeing Taiga and Tetsuya smiling at him from the benches. Hiroshi was there too, looking at him reassuringly, so the fear abated. It was just another game. Just like the ones they played on their off-time in the basketball court at the park. That was all it was. That was it.

It would be easier to convince himself it weren’t for the darned pale blue and white of the opposing team’s uniform.

The point gap had reduced a little by the end of second half to a one-digit difference. Riko and the other seniors looked approving and Junpei even gave a thumbs-up with a smile. Given, the smile looked menacing rather than encouraging, but, that was how their leader was.

They headed back to the bench for some water and to relieve their muscles. Team discussion, as usual, happened again and some new changes had to be made. Riko had been observing the first years of Rakuzan and had already gotten a vague idea of their playing styles.

He was able to listen properly the second time around and took note of what their coach was saying. Every time she said something that he had spotted while playing, he felt a little proud.

Break time ended quickly and Kouki was made to sit out again while Shinji, Tetsuya, Taiga and Kawahara were tagged in. Seijuurou was still not playing, simply observing his members alongside his coach. It comforted Kouki way more than he would care to admit. It was horribly tiresome going up against one of the Uncrowned Kings on their own.

Seiuurou was looking at the match with an intensity that people usually probably kept for life-threatening situations. The folded hands and eyes that seemed entranced by the game jolted back some memories of a past match. After weeks of texting and seeing the boy actually be awkward, Kouki had forgotten this image of Seijuurou.

It had dawned on him that the Rakuzan Captain was probably looking at him with such intensity too. The boy probably saw every single one of his flaws, ones even Kouki himself was not aware of.

And wasn’t that a thought? That he had more flaws than he knew, and that Seijuurou could point out a hundred on the fly.

Third quarter ended and Seirin had taken the lead. It was expected since they were playing against the first years and only two of their regulars were on-court. Kouki cheered on his teammates who played and helped with massaging and distributing water bottles.

“Okay, final quarter.” said Riko. “They will most definitely send in Akashi. He’s the only one who hasn’t played.”

She looked at the members huddled around her. “Izuki, Furihata in. Mitobe, Kawahara out”

Two point guards? Well, they did have to face-off against Seijuurou. But why him? Now, outside of Izuki, the entire team was filled with first years. Taiga and Tetsuya were a terror to be dealt with but this was now a predominantly first year team going up against Seijuurou and two of the uncrowned kings, Koutarou and Eikichi.

“Oi” he felt a large hand upon his head. It was Taiga.

“Don’t stress.” Taiga ruffled his hair. Kouki could see Tetsuya snickering on the side. “We’ll be fine. We’re going to win!” said Taiga with a smile brimming with confidence. 

“I would not be so sure.”

Kouki turned and saw Seijuurou.

“Don’t get too cocky Akashi-kun.” Retorted Tetsuya with a smile that opposed his threat.

The duo glared at Seijuurou who wore a poised smile. At that point, Kouki couldn’t help but pray they would end their strange staring contest and get on with the game. He tried to make his way out from between the three to the court but was halted by Seijuurou calling him.

Kouki turned to the boy.

“All the best.” Wished Seijuurou. It was way too different from the way he talked to Taiga.

Kouki stumbled to find appropriate words.

‘Would wishing him even matter? He’ll do well anyways!’

“Uhh…..You too!” he replied and ran to Shun’s side.

The whistle sounded off and the match began. As expected, the match took a completely different turn with the entry of Seijuurou who gave none of them a break. It was like watching a chess match. It felt almost crushingly futile to try anything but if Seirin were known for anything, it would be their team spirit.

Kouki realized the trick was to forget about the consequences. Yeah, they would probably lose, what with the fifteen point’s difference which was quickly growing, but they tried. In the end, wasn’t that what mattered most?

“YOU’RE NOT WINNING THIS!” Taiga yelled as he dunked.

‘When did we decide that!?’

“Dunking Idiot’s back at it again.” Said Koutarou.

Unfortunately for Taiga, they indeed lost. He looked like a cross between a kicked puppy and a widower whose wife died in front of his eyes. The Rakuzan team was celebrating on the side. Juunpei looked disappointed but he looked like he expected it. The first years were the ones that were most affected.

The two teams bowed to each other and Kouki was very much ready to head out and never face Seijuurou again. Ever.

“Hello Furihata-kun.”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“Oh, hey Akashi-kun! Congrats on the win.”

Before either Hiroshi or Koiichi could run away, Kouki held onto their wrists with a painful grip. Not this time.

“Good game. I look forward to our training camp.” Said Seijuurou.

Well, Kouki wasn’t. “Me too! Lots of ….. Opportunity to improve ourselves.”

“I agree. Along with a chance to learn, this would prove to be a good time for our teams to bond.” Seijuurou replied. “We would also be able to communicate without the troubles of texting. I am anticipating those aspects rather than anything else if I were honest. “

Why did he even bother? Seijuurou was already at the top when it came to skills. This was basically vacation time for him no matter what.

“Same. Texting’s…..

His mind supplied. ‘The only way I can talk to you without looking like a loser?’

“…kind of overrated anyways.” Said Kouki. Hiroshi’s judgmental look was not missed.

Somehow, Seijuurou nodded to that and turned to Kouki’s two captives who had remained silent throughout the exchange. “Pardon me, but I do not know your names. Furihata-kun? Would you be so kind to introduce us?”

This, he can do. He pointed them and gave their names. Hiroshi solemnly shook his hand while Koiichi looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there.

Seijuurou repeated it and began to introduce himself. “I am-“

“Akashi Seijuurou.” Said Hiroshi. “We know you. It’s impossible not to know.”

Kouki swore he saw a blush on Seijuurou’s face.

“Is it so?” he asked.

Koiichi nodded. “As the leader of Rakuzan, it’d be bad for us to not know you. I mean, you have an extensive history in basketball and I think you’d be more ‘infamous’ than ‘famous’-“

Kouki elbowed him. “Okay! We’re going to be going now! Or coach would be pissed. Bye-bye!”

He dragged the two with him outside the gymnasium as fast as he could. 


	6. Chapter 6

‘Infamous?’

Seijuurou couldn’t help but ponder upon that word as they made their way back to Kyoto. He was well aware that many people knew of his name, either because of basketball or as the sole heir to the Akashi Conglomerate. In his school, he was known for his appearance alongside other matters. It would be pretentious of him if he said he was oblivious to his looks. He was made aware of it with the abundant valentine’s chocolates that flooded his locker room every year. Love letters and personal confessions never occurred. That was because, as Koiichi had put it, he was ‘infamous’.

They reached Kyoto in the evening and Seijuurou headed directly to bed. The team had left from Tokyo the morning after the match.

He never really cared much for what others thought of him, as long as he was seen as exceptionally proficient in the tasks given to him. Fear could be a good thing, so he never bothered to change anything in himself to abate those views of him.

After years of being feared, he was tired of it. Bonding with his team was easier because they were open-minded and personally witnessed his efforts. Showing it to others would be almost impossible.

He was no fool, he saw how Kouki froze up again when he approached him. Though the trio spoke to him well enough, there was stiffness in their shoulders. Koiichi and Hiroshi’s behaviour was understandable, but Kouki had actually interacted with him for a longer period of time.

Via text and voice mails, none of the tension was there and they joked with each other often. It hurt to see the boy awkward again. Seijuurou grew fond of him and his simple, immediate quips to things. For once, he could ramble on about books to someone without restraint.

Kouki was part of the library community along with Tetsuya and was planning on doing journalism in the future. Hence, he was interested in reading and analysing texts. His teammates from Rakuzan and Teikou never really understood his interest in books. Seijuurou had believed he found someone to converse with when he befriended Tetsuya and Chihiro.

But Tetsuya was not aware of the classics and avoided poetry like the plague, whereas Chihiro was solely interested in light novels. 

  


Me: I truly anticipate getting to know everyone  
in Seirin.

  * \---------------------------------------------------



Kouki read the message.

Kouki really wanted to help him on his journey to get forgiveness and change. But he didn’t know if he was strong enough to keep him accountable, or if he even held the worth to do so. Kouki wanted to befriend him but how could Kouki do it? Because whenever he saw Seijuurou, al he felt was a sense of incompetence.

Why did he even sign up for this?

Why did Seijuurou allow him to do this?

What on earth was he doing trying to tie down a star he couldn’t even look at without being blinded?

That wasn’t for him to decide.

His mother’s words rung in his mind.

_“You can disagree with someone and still be friends. Don’t let people get away with things just because you like them Ki-chan!” she lightly patted him on the head with a ladle and guided ten-year old Kouki to the park._

_The boy who crushed his train set was still there and Kouki stuttered out his declaration._

_Both of them ended up crying and apologizing._

“Oi Furi.”

Kouki looked up from his phone. It was Shinji.

“Want some fries? I’m stuffed!” said his senior. The team was seated at a nearby park, having ordered take out. It was a bit of an impromptu picnic with all of them gathering unintentionally. It had started with Hiroshi, Koiichi and Kouki planning a day out, which led to Taiga and Tetsuya tagging along. Then Shinji wanted to come, which meant Rinnosuke was coming too. One thing lead to another and somehow, even Riko and Juunpei were there. Teppei had somehow gotten wind of this and spammed their group chat with messages about ‘betrayal’.

Kouki accepted the fries and continued to stare at the test. Seijuurou really was trying. Even after the game, he had asked about the other first years and tried talking to them.

Only for it to begin to go down the drain when Hiroshi began to ramble. Gosh his no-filter mouth was a curse and a blessing.

“Hey Furi,” began Shinji. “You busy after this?”

“No. Why?”

“Want to hang at my place? I got the new weekly release for Jump.” He said with a wink. Shinji introduced him to some manga and Kouki was in deep before he knew it. His weekly allowance didn’t really allow for him to buy new editions.

“Seriously? I’m in!”

A bit later when the food had run out, they began to head their way back and Kouki went along with Shinji. Surprisingly, Rinnosuke wasn’t coming along. They walked side by side and made small talk about the series they were reading.

“Hey. I want to say something.” Said Shinji.

“If it’s a spoiler, I’ll kill you.”

“Nope. I can’t spoil it.”

Something in Shinji’s smirk didn’t sit right. “Why?” asked Kouki, arms folded.

“I don’t have the edition.”

“What?”

“I lied”

The walk back home was half-an-hour long from Shinji’s place and they were basically five minutes from the Koganei household.

“Why!?” Kouki was ready to throw his satchel at Shinji’s face.

Unfazed, Shinji replied simply. “You looked like a wreck the entire time facing Rakuzan and I,” he put a hand to his chest. “Being the noble and good senior I am, couldn’t let you sit there all puppy-eyed.”

The satchel connected with Shinji’s face.

“I’m serious dude.” Shinji rubbed at his cheek and winced. “After the shower talk, you’ve been looking really nervous. I’m just concerned.”

Wow, someone noticed?

“It’s- it’s just. You know.” Kouki paused. “Why on earth did you lie to me to bring me here in the first place?”

Shinji lifted a brow in question. “You really would have come if I said I wanted to talk to you about _feelings_? Really?”

Fair point.

Groaning, Kouki replied. “It’s the same old, same old. I suck at this, I shouldn’t be on the team and this was probably one of the worst decisions I’ve made and I am going to head home so bye-“

“No you don’t buddy.” Shinji tugged him back by his collar. “Step one complete, now you come over to my room and spill about your insecurities- that sounded weird but,” the boy threw his hands in the air. “You get what I mean.”

Kouki wanted to go home. But he also wanted to rant for a solid five hours and scream into the void then cry curled up in his bed.

He followed Shinji down the sidewalk to his home. Mrs. Koganei invited them in with open arms and shoved cookies into their hands with the biggest smile. Shinji dragged him up to his room and they sat in front of his laptop and began playing some songs for fun.

“Okie doke.” Shinji sat in his rolling chair and twirled around in it. “I’m all ears.” The feline smile stretched on his face.

Sighing, Kouki accepted his fate and slumped in Shinji’s bed. “I just- you know…. Kagami and Kuroko are regulars, everyone on the team has some special ability and I’m just- me. I really don’t know if I’m useful at all.

“I enjoy basketball okay? It’s fun, I got to meet you all,” Shinji smiled at that. Kouki continued. “But, every time I step on that court, there’s some fuck up. It’s like, basketball isn’t basketball when people like the Generation of Miracles are on there.”

When Kouki looked up from his folded legs, it was too see Shinji trying to hold in a laugh and failing miserably.

“Oh my god you’re comparing yourself to the Generation of Miracles?”

Flustered, Kouki pulled a pillow towards himself. “Well- both games I went in, one of them was on the team.”

“Okay, okay, I feel you.” Said Shinji.

“You do?”

“Totally,” Shinji looked up. “I didn’t have to go up against those guys first year, but the Uncrowned Kings were still a thing.”

“But Kiyoshi is on your team-“

“And for you it’s Kuroko.” Shinji supplied, looking right at him. “It was bad, not going to lie. We didn’t even have any seniors other than Kiyoshi to help us through. We were forced to be regulars, basically.

“Everyone had their own skill. Or they got one along the way, but, do you see me having one?”

Kouki shook his head.

“It isn’t about the flashy stuff.” Shinji continued. “It was basketball, I was with my friends and everything was just fun. What special skill?” he chuckled. “As long as I support my friends and we win, isn’t that enough?” Shiniji got out of the chair and patted Kouki’ s shoulder. “It’s team work! Team! Imagine how much it sucked seeing that flashy Kagami dunking everywhere and stealing my spot when you’re his senior.”

Shinji had such troubles? “Senpai…..do you have something you need to talk about?”

The older boy shook his head and chuckled. “Me? That’s water under the bridge. Sure, Kagami taking my spot sucked, but, he deserves it. And I can’t let me hold back others.” He pointed to Kouki. “Now what about you?”

Kouki shrugged. “It’s not hard to replace me.”

“Why are you so dead set on that? You’re like, sixteen. There’s two more years left and you can improve tons if you want.”

“Kagami and Kuroko-“

“No you don’t. You aren’t them. Find your own basketball. Doesn’t have to be flashy or cool, it’s just got to be you.”

Him? He was the onigiri in a colourful bento. There was only so much one can do with it to make it special. Deluding himself with hope of having his own basketball style, something that was special, useful and clearly his, was just a pipe dream.

All he could do was cheer them on and try not to be a burden. His basketball was for lonely courts and rusted hoops in basketball courts squashed between buildings and parking lots. It was for him to have fun, not for competition.

Shinji switched songs and they shifted topics.

Even if Shinji claimed he wasn’t special, he was. Everyone on the team had that something which kept them going forward. For his senior, it was perseverance. Even in the face of the biggest obstacle, he looked at it head on and played. Kouki overthought everything and froze.

What could that do?

What could he do?

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short chapter but I feel like I couldn't attach it to the previous chapter, nor to the coming chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Descriptions of Akashi going through an emotional breakdown. It happens right after Akashi ends the call with Furihata and ends at the part where there's the dashed lines.

Running away was something Seijuurou, admittedly, had gotten used to. It was shameful to acknowledge this part of himself but he had noticed that after a point of time, he ran away from things more often than he confronted them. To aid in this endeavour, he had somehow created another version of himself to take over in times he did not want to be there.

It was habitual to an extent it was a part of his routine. He blinked, breathed, and ran away when things got tougher than he wanted them to be.

In an ironical twist, he decided to run away from analysing the implication of what ‘another him’ even meant.

For around three years, things had gone fetchingly. Anything other than the silent acceptance of another victory was ignored, because it did not help him achieve anything.

He should have known that running away meant exactly that, running _away._ The problem was still present, possibly festering into something disastrous the longer he avoided it.

It all came crashing down the second week of the semester break.

Jabberwock.

The game had left him vulnerable, and he had felt like he was back in middle school, facing Atushi and failing to catch up to him. The hesitance, the uncertainty in every move he made, forcing him to take risks he never would have taken under any other circumstance.

He so, so badly wanted to run.

Ironically, it was the very thing that aided his escape that forced him to stay, permanently. His ‘brother’ had disappeared, leaving behind the Emperor Eye and nothing else. They won the game.

But at what cost had he done it?

Who could he mourn to about the death of the ‘other’ him? It would probably be a cause for celebration than that of grieving. Finally, the thing that destroyed Teikou was gone!

Except, for Seijuurou, ‘he’ was a refuge.

Now who would let him turn deaf to his father’s thinly-veiled insults, let him be blind to his own deteriorating friendships? Who would let him stay mute when all he wanted to do was cry and beg for help?

Apparently, no one. Not anymore.

It was unexplainably empty in his mind and the hollow space ‘he’ had left behind gave way for echoes of insecurities and fear doubling in resonance. He was well and truly alone. Maybe it was strange to think of the other as reliable brother, but, he really didn’t know how to define him other than as a sibling. They were the same yet different, he had wanted to be ‘him’ but also wanted to never have to do the things ‘he’ had to do.

That always made him beg the questions, where was the line drawn between ‘him’ and ‘me’? Though Seijuurou had no control over ‘his’ actions, he felt those feelings, saw how ‘his’ thoughts were formed and every time ‘his’ hands moved, it was the same as himself. ‘He’ had always been just much as Seijuurou as himself. Maybe if he hadn’t run away, he would’ve ended up like ‘him’ too.

Seijuurou wondered if he would have been better of ‘he’ permanently took over. Who needed chinks in an armour? What use was fear? What use was hesitance when cold, calculated, merciless victory was presented on a silver platter? His father certainly wouldn’t miss the boy who had chances to lose.

The game against Jabberwock felt like a day dream, or like a slowly slipping nightmare. He won again, no-

They won.

Yet, he felt so empty.

The party held in celebration, the trip back to Kyoto, everything went by him like breezy winds on an autumn day, simply occurring because they were supposed to.

Now, he sat at the backyard, scared to enter his room. It wasn’t just his. It was something that had accommodated both. Pristine files and organized plans for dealing with basketball, school council and meetings. Those were all ‘him’. The books on poetry, varied highlighters and sticky notes in small handwriting with notes of both the books he read for pleasure and the things he learnt in class. That was himself.

Sometimes it blurred so much Seijuurou wasn’t sure who made what. Their preferences were the same but the way they indulged in them differed vastly. ‘He’ never read the romantics, while Seijuurou loved to indulge.

They never amused him, though they were informative. Perhaps, if he hadn’t run away, he could have liked both. If he read it now, with no one to run to, it could be possible that he would like Chaucer too, just like ‘he’ did.

Who knew? Not him. There was no one to answer him.

His phone beeped beside him. Seijuurou sighed and opened it. That phone had become an extension of him in recent months since Kouki was accessible only through the means of texts and voice calls. He didn’t want to deal with anyone or anything, but opening it had become reflex.

Before he knew it, he was picking up a call.

“Congratulations!” Kouki cheered, voice garbled by the speaker. “Sorry I couldn’t meet you today.”

Seijuurou replied. “Thank you. It’s quite alright if you were busy, I had noticed you were there in the stands along with the others.”

“Really? I’m glad. You were so good!” Kouki said. “That was such a cool match to watch, I thought our match with Rakuzan was bad until I saw THAT! Pros are really on a different level huh?

“Seriously Nash- or whatever his name was- that guy was a monster for real and you faced off against him and won. Just- wow! I mean,” There was sheepish chuckle. “Captain of Generation of Miracles, it’s got to be expected.”

Seijuurou wanted to laugh. The person Kouki was speaking so highly of didn’t exist anymore. He was captain of Teikou, a failure who couldn’t catch up with the very teammates he led. The Captain of the Generation of Miracles was someone else entirely, born to solely lead them into victory. After ‘he’ had done his task, he vanished.

All that was left was someone who failed to catch up, holding the gift of the one who did.

“Furihata-kun, what do you think of John Locke?”

The wind blew in the vast expanse their family had labelled backyard. The soft grass moved like waves in the sea and the night sky was dotted with specks of white, he felt adrift, swaying in some unknown sea.

“Who now?” asked Kouki.

Seijuurou chuckled and leaned back and fell onto the grass, phone in hand. “He was a philosopher in the 1600s who was part of the Enlightenment movement in Europe.”

“Oh yeah!” exclaimed Kouki. “You had talked about that before about something. Sorry, I don’t remember much. I think we were talking about some poem about, I think- what was it….”, he mused. “Right! Like about memory and its importance. Tabula….tabula something. And you brought it up.”

“Had I?” asked Seijuurou.

He didn’t remember. Seijuurou wouldn’t want to talk about things like that unless it was mandatory to his course. He much preferred musings on nature and the beauty within the flaws of mankind.

“Yeah. Why bring it up now?”

God, what part of him did Kouki even like? Was he aware he had befriended two people instead of one, and that one of them is gone? Not a single thing was left that showed ‘he’ existed.

He didn’t want to answer. “No reason.” Seijuurou said.

Kouki hummed, an edge of disbelief. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Akashi-kun….” Kouki continued. “Are you okay?”

Not at all but Kouki did not to deal with a burden even Seijuurou couldn’t begin to comprehend. “Why do you ask?”

“You don’t sound like you won.”

“You have only ever heard me after a loss.” Seijuurou replied.

“Shit- I mean crap, it’s bad.” Kouki said. “You won in the practice match. You’re not remembering stuff right too.”

“You are correct.” Seijuurou resigned himself to the truth. “But, I’d prefer not to talk about it.”

There was silence on the other end and Seijuurou could hear the faint sound of people chattering in the background.

“That’s- it’s cool.” He finally spoke. “I was- you know, a little worried.”

“Thank you for your concern.”

“I…..sorry.” said Kouki.

Seijuurou was a little surprised at that. An apology? “What for?” he asked.

“For just, asking stuff and assuming stuff. That’s, it’s not something I should be doing.” Kouki’s voice was low, taking on the quality of a whisper.

“I understand that it was out of concern and that you meant no harm, quite the contrary actually. So rest assured, there are no need for apologies.”

“I-“

“Furihata-kun,” he couldn’t talk about this anymore, or talk at all. “May we speak tomorrow? The game was exhausting and so was the journey to the estate.”

He could hear Kouki sucking in a breath, a hiss through the phone. “Sorry! I’ll leave now. Take care and…….” It seemed he was finding difficulty searching for appropriate words.

“And?”

“ Just like- if you- I don’t know, want to talk to someone, I’m here.”

Talk of what? Of his problems with his father, the other part of him, himself? It would repulse people, regardless of how accepting they were.

“I appreciate the offer. Good bye.”

He cut the call, without waiting for a reply.

The night was draped in a deep navy blue, he could only see the silhouette of the trees that ran through the land. The light from the house blinded him, covering him in an obnoxious yellow. Seijuurou stood up and walked through the grass and away from the light, hoping that his steps would take him outside but it wouldn’t.

The line of trees wasn’t very thick, and if one got past it, there would be a wall, too tall and smooth for anyone to climb. Beggars couldn’t be choosers, so he took the illusion of being lost over having to return to the suffocating lights, looming chandeliers and embroidered curtains.

As he made his way further, the light dimmed but it never disappeared. He wanted to scream. He had wanted to scream for so long but he couldn’t. At that moment, he wanted to run into the trees and stay within the night forever and never wake up. Just like the times ‘he’ took control.

Everything was falling apart, but at the very least, he could turn away from it all.

Seijuurou felt his steps quicken, breaking into a run. The grass and the mud caught his shoes but he ran regardless. The foliage that seemed so far claocked him in their darkness. The cicadas chirped and the flap of birds’ wings rustled leaves. He made his way further in, the roots protruding from the ground and making him trip. If it were ‘him’, he would have gracefully made his way through this.

The Emperor’s Eye was present, but he refused to use it. The last time he did, ‘he’ didn’t take over. What was the point?

Those very legs that thrummed with the urgency to run refused to move. With no one to witness him, not even the moon that was shrouded by the leaves, he fell to his knees. They ached from the match beforehand and the sudden sprint. Seijuurou had knelt on stray rocks and they pierced his knees but he paid no heed.

He felt the pain, could feel the weight of his clothes on him and the pinch of his shoes. But, in this murky blanket, he could barely differentiate his body from the flora. It was as if they were joined in a shared blindness.

Not even the moon and the stars could witness him.

For the first time, he felt terrified.

Both of himself, and of the ‘other’ that had taken over. Even still he felt sadness for the disappearance of the very thing that scared him. He had tried and tried to understand but it seemed like he would never figure it out.

He bit his lips as he felt heat in his eyes. Seijuurou strained to stifle the noise of pathetic anguish that struggled to make it’s way out, but it proved useless when he felt something trickle down his face.

Even turning his neck up couldn’t stop it’s flow. It felt like his skin was being seared as drops flowed down from his eyes. The small noises turned loud and he felt his breath quicken. A strained cry, like that of a wounded creature. Seijuurou wondered if this was what anguish felt like. Tears were so painful. It strained him to keep his eyes open.

The darkness overwhelmed and his previously suppressed cries burst through, filling his ears with a well of pathetic sounds that grew louder and louder.

Before he knew it, he was screaming.

Incoherent, abysmal, animalistic cries like that of a hunted prey, begging to keep the final vestiges of life. He was so submerged in the black abyss.

The sounds faded and he felt his head hit the damp ground.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The first thing he heard was the rustle of cloth.

Slowly, things came into focus and he opened his eyes, one aching millimetre by millimetre. Soft light landed on the walls of his room. He turned his head and found that someone was seated beside him.

It was his room.

Seijuurou turned his head to catch sight of who sat beside him in his bleary state. Smooth, crisp dress pants and a dishevelled shirt came into view.

Looking up, he found a familiar face, wrinkles settling into each crevice. His eyes were closed and his neck craned to the side.

“….father?”

Seijuurou sat up straight quickly and looked down at himself. He was in his pajamas. This was no state to be in when his father had personally come to his room. One look at the windows indicated that it was morning and the blinds were pulled back for the light to enter.

Memories of the previous night gushed in and he wished to simply forget it ever happened. But he had committed a grave error. He let himself be found in such a state.

Before he could get out of bed to look more presentable, his father’s eyes fluttered open.

“Seijuurou.” He called, eyes wide.

He tried to slip out of bed but his father took a hold of his hand and firmly pressed it into the mattress. He couldn’t escape.

“Are you well?” asked Masaomi. The cold, composed man was gone, replaced by a stranger he didn’t know.

Seijuurou nodded. “I am fine.” He bowed his head. “I apologize for any inconvenience. This will not happen again.”

The steel in his father’s gaze returned. “You will be having breakfast with me today. After which I will be debriefing you on certain meetings you will have to attend.”

“Yes father.”

Masaomi clutched Seijuurou’s hand tighter, and let go. “I will leave Haru-san here for you beck and calling in case you need assistance. Meet me at the dining room.”

Seijuurou nodded. “Understood.”

He made his way out of his bed and quickly got dressed into something appropriate. It was a Sunday, there were no assignments awaiting him, neither was basketball, violin, piano or cello practice awaiting his attendance. There was no escape from meeting his father.

He sighed and made his way out. Their butler, Haru, halted his advance and asked him to follow him.

“The food will be served at Akashi-san’s study.”

A private meeting over food. Seijuurou concluded it must be something related to the family or something which none except the family could be privy to.

Seijuurou followed him and the doors to the pristine room were opened. His father’s desk was cleared of the stationery, and trays of food were being placed. The rolling chair was replaced with two seats from the dining room. Seijuurou bowed to Masaomi and took a seat.

The seats were placed opposing each other, hence direct eye contact was inevitable.

They consumed the meal in silence, clang of forks and knives against plates. Slowly, the food disappeared and with every passing second, Seijuurou dreaded the conversation.

As the cutlery emptied in due time, the workers took away the utensils with unparalleled efficiency and left with a curt bow.

Masaomi cleared his throat. “Seijuurou, explain yourself for yesterday’s events.”

He would if he could, but he was left speechless. There were no rational explanations for his behaviour.

“It was a shameless display of a loss of control. Apologies for any trouble caused. It will not be repeated.” Seijuurou replied.

Masaomi sighed. “Is there nothing else you would like to add? Any significant details you may be missing.”

“No.”

Masaomi assessed his countenance in silence. Shaking his head lightly, he placed a visiting card on the table, sliding it closer to Seijuurou. “We will be going to meet with a professional in regards to this matter. This is mandatory. “

Seijuurou took hold of the pristine, white card, and read the details. The words ‘child psychologist’ caught his eyes.

“Could you elaborate on what this meeting is for?” asked Seijuurou, eyeing the card.

“It is unrelated to official business. No one can accomplish goals when mentally disturbed.”

“Mentally disturbed?” he reiterated, clutching the card tighter.

Masaomi remained stern, voice turning severe with each utterance. “You have admitted that yesterday’s incident was unseemly. Yet you oppose the one method to rid of it. It was highly out of character.”

“It was a momentary lapse in judgement.”

His father retorted quickly. “A momentary lapse which we cannot afford.”

“I am fully capable-“

“You have proven yourself not to be.”

“For once,” his voice boomed louder than he had ever intended. “Consider my suggestions.”

Masaomi’s steely eyes seemed to bore into his soul, commanding silence. “I have and it is unreasonable.”

The card crumpled in his fist. He left the chair and headed to the door. “I will not be attending.”

“You are proving my point, Seijuurou.”

The boy turned back. “Disobedience is not a mental illness.”

“True, such behaviour would mean nothing if it were from other children. But when placed in your context, it is highly out of character.”

“Father,” he turned to the door. “There is only one thing that disturbs me enough to leave me in such a state. Unfortunately, ridding of it is impossible.”

He heard a musing hum from his father, “The Akashi family does not believe in such notions. If anything stands in the way of victory, we eliminate it.”

Seijuurou couldn’t help but chuckle. “I could not have stated it better.”

“Seijuurou-“

“Thank you for the meal,” he turned and bowed. “I will be taking my leave.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary for those who skipped: 
> 
> Akashi's back at home after the match with Jabberwock & is at his large as fuck backyard because he doesn't want to go back into his room since his alter has merged with him. Furihata calls him up and asks about the game. The conversation is clipped & short because he isn't in the mood to talk. 
> 
> He wants a place to hide since his alter isn't there to help anymore so he runs into an area at the backyard with lots of trees, cries and faints. He's found by the servants and brought back in.   
> His father calls him in to talk at the morning after he wakes up in his room, and offers him a card to go to a child psychologist but he does this in a rather condescending and insensitive way. Akashi is offended and angered, rejects the card and walks out. The end. 
> 
> \- - - - - - 
> 
> To compensate for last week's short chapter, here's a LONG BOIIII.  
> Hope you loved the angst train. Now that I'm writing a fucking crack fic, i keep mixing up the tones for both stories ;_;  
> Hope it doesn't shift too much.


	8. Chapter 8

Seijuurou moved the shogi piece into its intended place and awaited Shintarou’s turn. He could feel that the game was coming to a close, victory decidedly on his side.

As predicted, the game had went in the manner he foresaw. Shintarou had improved by leaps and bounds, providing Seijuurou with some new exercises in defeating him. The bespectacled boy sighed, but did not seem too unfazed.

“Victory is yours.” Said Shintarou in resignation.

They were seated in Shintarou’s room, the table placed by the window letting the sunlight stream in. His lucky items were not on his person yet he seemed more relaxed, since his room was teeming with them, placed with a designed caution in different corners.

Seijuurou smiled. “Another round?”

Nodding, Shintarou proceeded to rearrange the board. “We’ve played five games and you show no signs of stopping.” He looked up, hand pausing its motions. “Would you not be late for your train?”

The pieces fell into place, slowly returning to order. “I will be staying in Tokyo until the new school year begins.”

Shintarou looked at him quizzically. “What? Why did you not tell me of this before?”

“The decision was taken the day before yesterday. Packing the essentials and moving consumed most of my time.”

The game was set back into its starting position but neither made a move to begin.

“That, seems unlike you.”

Seijuurou chuckled. “I am hearing that often as of late.”

“Did your father send you here?”

“No. It’s completely unrelated to official matters. Neither is it in relation to academics, nor extracurricular activities.” Seijuurou looked outside, observing the Midorima family’s quaint garden. He turned to Shintarou. “What do you think this means?”

Adjusting his glasses, he replied. “Horrifyingly strange. This is a vulnerable time for Sagittarius and care must be taken in terms of familial and romantic relations. Making big changes during this time period is risky.

“But, if these changes are made with caution and care, the fruits of such struggle would be extremely rewarding.”

It wasn’t that he believed in horoscopes but Shintarou’s predictions had never been wrong. He attributed it to Shintarou’s wit, the Oha Asa charts acting as a nudge that the boy took to go in the right direction. Even if the concept of astrology was unsupported, Shintarou’s predictions held a substantial amount of truth in them, hence he listened intently.

“I am afraid I did not disclose an important thing.” Said the red-head. Shintarou glared at him. “And that is?”

“I instigated this move. I do not wish to be in the estate for a while.”

“Why- well,” Shintarou cleared his throat. “I understand that you never really held any attachment to that place, but to move out, even if it’s not permanent. Did something happen?”

Since the Winter Cup, Seijuurou had been behaving very, very differently and Shintarou had quickly taken notice. The switch between the ‘other’ Seijuurou and the current one had been detected by all of the Generation of Miracles. The ‘other’ him made very sparse appearances after the Winter Cup, reverting to how things were during the early days of Teikou.

But, right after the match with Jabberwock, Shintarou knew that Seijuurou experienced a new shift, but he couldn’t pinpoint how.

“Yes.” Seijuurou supplied. “When I was facing Nash Gold Jr., the ‘other’ me, disappeared.”

Shintarou wished he had a lucky item to hold onto, but all he could do was fist his hands, momentarily uncaring for the condition of his nails. “Was it when you could suddenly keep up with him?”

“Correct. You are the only person I’m disclosing this to,” said Seijuurou. “Do not speak of this to anyone. It is not a choice.”

Nodding, Shintarou replied. “I would not do it even if you hadn’t told me. What do you plan on doing now?”

“The ‘other’ me is something I had refused to look deeply into for the longest time, it was a mistake I should not have made. Before school year begins, I wish to find answers in regards to it.”

“You could not do this in Kyoto?”

“No. It holds too much of _his_ presence. It needs to be in a place where I am not constantly pressured.”

Shintarou asked. “Do you not have a training camp with Seirin the next month? You would have to captain your team.”

“I plan on splitting some responsibilities with Reo-nee.”

The bespectacled boy couldn’t help but stare at Seijuurou. He had changed to an extent that he could barely recognize him. It led him to wonder if he knew this boy at all. For one, Shintarou had never seen him so relaxed, even readily relying on his team members.

‘If Kuroko saw him, he would be happy.’

Throughout the year, their phantom sixth man had proven his point. Each of them found themselves relying on their new teammates, and often on each other. Slowly but surely, they were picking up their pieces. As much as Shintarou hated to admit it, his team work with Kazunari was what often saved them in games. If it had been him alone, Shintarou admitted they would have lost quickly. Kazunari was vital to his play.

The final challenge was Seijuurou, who refused to let his guard down even in the slightest. But here he was, willingly setting down some of his burdens.

“I am glad.” Said Shintarou, unintentionally voicing his thoughts.

“What? I could not hear you correctly.”

“Nothing. Let’s continue.”

Seijuurou smiled knowingly but did not pry and they began the game.

“By the way, you have not contacted me as much lately. Did something happen?” asked Shintarou.

Pausing, Seijuurou replied. “Is that so?” The other boy nodded.

“Well,” he continued. “I have found new friends.”

Silence settled as the red-head made his move, eyes on the board.

“Have I been replaced then?” asked Shintarou, a hint of annoyance.

Seijuurou smiled. “Of course not. Unlike you and the rest of the members, this person needs extra caution in treatment. I cannot be too blunt. My words need to be calculated and spoken on completely different terms.”

“They must be someone of high value if you’re willing to go this far.” Said Shintarou. “What do they offer?”

“Nothing of importance.” Said Seijuurou. “He offers me interesting company I suppose. He has fascinating takes on literary works.”

Shintarou pushed back his glasses. “Who are they?”

“Furihata Kouki of Seirin.”

The game piece in Shintarou’s hands slipped, clanging on the table. “A Seirin member? Why have I never heard of him?”

“To put it lightly, his skills in basketball are subpar. I believe he played two games. One with Kaijou, and the other with Rakuzan.”

“I truly don’t understand what you’re trying here.” Shintarou lifted the piece and examined it. “Is this some new experiment? Does he have potential as a basketball player? Is he well-versed in some other field?”

“He has some knowledge in Greek and Roman mythology.”

Shintarou was unconvinced. “Things you previously did not know of?”

“No, I know more than him on that matter. It’s entertaining seeing his reactions to the origins of some myths. He lost his mind when he discovered that Aphrodite was once considered a war god for Sparta.”

Shintarou had seen many of Seijuurou’s reactions, from the kindest smile to the most terrifying scowl. He had seen the boy go through many phases and helplessly stood by when worst came to worst. But this, a look of adoration? Of happiness? The occurrence was so rare he could count it on one hand.

What was happening to his friend?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

As much as Seijuurou wished he could converse with Shintarou for longer, the night drew its curtains on the day and he bid the family goodbye. His chauffeur had accompanied him to the Midorimas’ house and drove him back to the apartment.

It was minimalistic, and was large enough to accommodate more people lavishly. His essentials had been unpacked and placed in the same manner they had been during his days in Teikou. It was strangely nostalgic and he found comfort in the familiarity. Those days had been lonely. He had to return to an empty apartment after spending hours with the boisterous basketball team. The silence was so glaringly obvious back then, but now, it was welcomed. He had learnt to enjoy it. He reached into the fridge in the pristine white kitchen and pulled out a cold water bottle.

Not a speck of dust was in sight in the apartment. The low white couch, the slim television he never watched, the strategically placed minimalist drawings. They meant nothing to him. In middle school, he had wanted a framed picture of his mother in the apartment but could not muster the strength to request his father of such.

To rectify his previous error, Seijuurou took one of the many framed pictures they kept upon the shelves near the fireplace. It was not like his father had the chance to look at them anymore. He was more often travelling than he was at home. A single picture frame would not be missed. Seijuurou placed it in the middle of a shelf above the television. It was large enough to stand out. He had never given close attention to the pictures. It had often hurt him to look at them. His father had often told him there was no place for sentimentality, but had stubbornly kept the photos up, even if he was never there to see them.

He knew that the large family portrait still hung in the room his mother and father had previously inhabited, Masaomi moving to another room after her death.

It was highly hypocritical and in the first few months after her passing, when his father stared wistfully at those pictures, Seijuurou wondered if he would turn to him and tell him how much he missed her. Then, maybe, Seijuurou could also tell him how dearly he wished to see her.

Perhaps, things could have gone differently.

A senseless desire to ask her for help surfaced but he quickly suppressed it.

This was his battle, and he would be fighting it alone like he always did. Sure, asking for assistance was a viable option these days, but it was still just an option. He refused to revert to it unless absolutely necessary. Burdening other with his issues would be disgraceful.

Seijuurou made quick work of changing into more comfortable clothing and sat down at this study desk, pulling out a notebook. He plotted a rough timeline of events based on his own observations. Though the ‘other’ had claimed to have always been there, he knew it to be false. He was ambitious and competitive for as long as he could remember but not to the extent of the other him.

Possibly, it could have started when he was twelve, growing in intensity and presence throughout middle school. According to Shintarou, the singular turning point which everyone had noticed was his one-on-one with Atsushi.

It was too ambiguous for his liking but he saw it as the first draft. The timeline was extremely short, only fitting a page. Admittedly the time of switching was hard for him to remember, He looked at the sheet in front of him and rubbed at his forehead.

It was late into the night and he realized trying to sort it out would be fruitless. He closed it and slid it into the drawer.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akashi going through shit~~  
> Did you see the tiny little Midotaka crumb i sneaked in?   
> Pretty short but i hope it was good!


	9. Chapter 9

After the match with Jabberwocky, the first years were fired up and Kouki had planned an outing with Hiroshi and Koiichi. The two immediately agreed and the trio headed to the neighbouring basketball court. Kouki meticulously packed water bottles and Band-Aids, and they headed to their usual spot.

Except, it seemed like a lot of the local kids had the same idea as them.

“This is unfair!” Koiichi exclaimed. “Literally every court in a ten mile radius is taken.”

“Calm down, I’m sure there’s place somewhere.” Replied Hiroshi. “Worst comes to worst we can play with them.”

Kouki pondered on it, and no, he was not playing with people he did not know at all. It wasn’t just school kids occupying the areas, there were college kids and adults who were generally assholes to high school kids. Perhaps if Taiga or any of the seniors were there, they could have negotiated with them, but spending time on arguing and bargaining to get some time on-court was a waste.

He looked around, ball in hand, and had a realization.

“How much money do both of you have?” Kouki asked. 

“Are we paying those guys for time?” Koiichi replied, looking through his wallet.

“As if.” He scoffed. “There’s this sports center with fancy equipment three blocks down. We can rent a court there.”

Shaking his head, Hiroshi replied. “That place is kind of expensive man.”

Kouki gave him a look. “Well, do you have better ideas? We’re already in gear and I’m not going back after all this.” He shrugged. “Besides, a fancy court means it’ll help us get used to official games.”

Hiroshi’s eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.

“Okay fine, point made. Lead the way.”

Kouki fist pumped and they made their way to the building. He had often seen it on his way to the shopping district but he never really took a good look at it. The sliding doors opened and the three headed in. Whatever he was expecting, this wasn’t it. It was _huge_. With equipment on sale for literally every sport he could think of.

Also, it was blissfully empty.

The worker at the desk handed them the keys after they made their payment. The basketball courts were on the second floor and they headed upstairs, looking down into their respective empty wallets because four hours to play meant all of their pocket money combined.

Dread settled in when he realized his father would not be pleased. But this was for a good cause!

The elevator doors opened and the worker led them down the corridor, fitted with large windows through which they could see an area that looked almost exactly like the stadiums they played. Any regret about the money being spent was squashed. There were four courts, and on one of them -

No way.

No fucking way.

This had got to be a joke.

“Furi…….” Began Hiroshi. “Did you plan this?”

“I swear to god I did not.”

His luck was down the drain. Maybe Shuutoukou’s ace had a point with all those lucky items because heavens knew he needed it.

In one of the large courts, doing the most graceful layup he had ever seen, was Akashi Seijuurou. They hadn’t talked to each other for around two days, the last conversation being the one where he had called Seijuurou to congratulate him. The boy had sounded, very, very off that day but he decided to give him some space. It sucked to have been hung up on, but, everyone had their off days. With people like Seijuurou, carrying the weight he did, Kouki knew he would have more bad days than the others.

The worker handed them the keys to the court next to Seijuurou, which was separated by a metal grated fence. It was unanimously decided that Kouki would be the first to make his way in. He sighed and agreed, pushing open the doors to the courts.

Seijuurou had noticed them almost immediately. He shot the ball into the hoop and turned around. Kouki waved at him, and Seijuurou returned the gesture. The brunet opened the locked grated door to their court and entered.

“Hey.” Greeted Kouki. “Didn’t know you’d be in Tokyo.”

He walked closer and stopped close to the grated fence. “Apologies for not informing you. It was done rather quickly. I’m glad to see some familiar faces.” He looked at Koiichi and Hiroshi, who waved at the boy without a word.

“Good to see you, Fukuda-kun, Kawahara-kun.”

“L-likewise.” Replied Hiroshi.

Kouki pulled the two to the court. “Well, sorry for interrupting you Akashi-kun, we’ll stop bugging you.”

The trio improvised and were playing for fun. It was all three against each other and they had to use the same basket to score. The trio planned on reverting to normal one-on-ones after some goofing around. After some warm ups, they began to play. Kouki had been taking notes on others’ and his own teammates’ playing styles after Shun had given him his own notes. He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it before. It helped him keep cool in a match. Having something physical to turn to for comfort was nice. 

By this point, he was most familiar with the first years’ styles, since he often played with them. It was easy to tell what Koiichi and Hiroshi would try. Kouki had informed them of their quirks, and things they needed to improve on, but habits were hard to kill. Plus, it was kind of easy to narrow down what they would do alternatively. Since the trio had learned basketball together, he was aware of what they knew and what they didn’t.

About four days prior, Hiroshi had tripped and his left foot was mostly healed but he still hesitated to rely on his left side, so he had many openings there. Koiichi’s footing and balance was his weakest, so Kouki tried to increase his own speed and the other’s to steal the ball. This was the fun part. There was some strange and overwhelming satisfaction in seeing things go the way he predicted.

They continued like that for about an hour before Kouki called it quits for a bit and went to fetch water. Koiichi and Hiroshi wanted to try going one-on-one and asked Kouki to observe. They knew of his notes and were always pestering him to observe. Not that he was complaining, it was good exercise for observation. It helped him hone in on what to look for. Riko had told him he relied heavily on personal experiences of others to predict things. For example, previous injuries, their mood that day, and such. When people weren’t noticing, they often let slip a lot of information. Especially when they underestimated others.

It could work on opposing teams, but he needed to practice identifying quirks, strengths and weaknesses of players independent of their outside lives too.

He gulped down the water from his bottle and wiped his forehead with the wrist band Tetsuya had presented. It was their team colours and he treasured it a lot.

“Taking a break?”

Kouki turned around and saw Seijuurou walking up towards him. He nodded in reply and turned back to observe the two who were playing full-court. Kouki pulled out his notebook and pencils, flipping to the pages with the Seirin team and revised through them as he observed the game.

“Your notes,” Seijuurou began. “They seem clustered.”

Kouki paused, eyes on the game but thoughts anywhere but. Right, expert point guard who could literally predict the entire court was looking at his disorganized scribbles that literally only he could understand. He quickly shut it close.

“No wait. I would like to read them.” Said Seijuurou.

Kouki raised a brow in question, turning to the boy behind him who had now crouched down. “It has everything I gathered on my members. I’m sorry but why would I offer it to our rival?” he chuckled and hoped the other wasn’t offended.

Seijuurou looked at him, shifting to sit with his legs folded. “You make a good point but we are currently not in a match. Off-court, would it not be helpful to assist each other?”

It would be helpful to have Akashi Seijuurou help with notes and strategies. But regardless of whether the Rakuzan Captain knew everything in his notes or not, it was still a huge risk to take. Kouki spent more time with Seirin, and Rakuzan most definitely wanted revenge. Maybe underhanded tricks like this would be beneath Seijuurou but being cautious never hurt anyone.

“Okay.” Agreed Kouki. Seijuurou looked at the now shut notebook and expected him to open it.

“But, that stuff is already a mess, so I’d need to work with new information in a new page. Is that cool?” asked Kouki. Seijuurou nodded and turned to observe Hiroshi and Koiichi, but Kouki shifted to sit right in front of him, blocking a direct view. He didn’t know if it actually helped, but the point was made. Kouki did not want him dissecting the style of those two. They were already terrified of him, having gone through the same thing he had, albeit for a much shorter time period. Rakuzan had refused to let their guard down with the newbies after Kouki had made a shot.

No. He had different plans. One that could be more beneficial for Seirin if he played his cards right.

“Akashi-kun? I am not the best at figuring out my own weaknesses, and Kuroko had told me you were the one who helped figure out his strengths and weaknesses.” He began, scratching at the back of his head. “Could you help me out too?”

Seijuurou observed the boy and smiled. “Understood.”

“So one-on-one?”

This was dangerous, and it was going to be fucking humiliating but the other option was putting Hiroshi and Koiichi under Seijuurou’s scrutinizing gaze. At this point in time, out of the three, Kouki was the least scared of Seijuurou. He knew the other two’s fear, went through it first-hand himself. He wasn’t going to put them through that.

Seijuurou nodded to the request. Kouki felt his hands go clammy and he wiped the sweat on the wrist band and his trousers. Already he was at a disadvantage. His ball-manoeuvring was not the best even at peak condition, but this was going to make things more difficult.

But, maybe it’d be worth it? He would get help from Seijuurou.

Kouki embarrassing himself was the norm. Getting help from Seijuurou? Now that was something that rarely happened, if ever.

Hiroshi and Koiichi paused their game and saw Kouki leave their area and enter Seijuurou’s court. Already, Kouki could feel the pressure.

“Furi!” called Koiichi and Kouki went closer to the fence to talk to the boy.

“What the fuck are you doing?” asked Hiroshi, arms folded.

He chuckled nervously. “Exchanging notes?” The brunet whispered. “He wanted to observe you two and look through my notes on Seirin. I can’t just let him know that stuff.”

“So you’re being the sacrificial lamb? Again?” asked Hiroshi.

“Yeah?”

Koiichi sighed. “One of these days you’re going to get killed.” His brows furrowed. “You want me to say your dad or mom called for some emergency or something?”

Kouki turned to see Seijuurou who was stretching.

“No. That’d be mean, and dramatic as heck. I already promised him.”

“But-“

“It’s fine.” Said Kouki. “You guys keep playing and I’ll join you in a bit.” It wasn’t like the match would last long anyways. It’d end in three-minutes if he was being generous.

Hiroshi shook his head. “Need someone for tip-off right? I’ll come in.” he made his way to the other court.

Kouki dropped his satchel nearby one the seats. The red-head had the ball in his hand, which he quickly handed to Hiroshi. Kouki did some stretches quickly and made it to the centre of the court, curling his fist out and inwards repeatedly, he hoped to relieve some of the tension. He was a masochist probably, because who on earth would volunteer for a thorough beat down by the same person thrice? Insane people, that’s who.

The ball went into the air and Seijuurou immediately got a hold of it. Kouki tried to keep up and take it back but the other boy made his way past him with zero difficulty and scored. 

That was a good prelude to how the rest of the match would go. First person to score ten baskets was the winner. Kouki doubted the ball would even come into his hands, but, his expectations on that front were surprisingly proven wrong. Well, they stuck to Seijuurou’s side of the court mostly and the boy scored two three-pointers, sealing his fate.

By the end of it, Kouki was exhausted. His heart was racing abnormally fast against his chest and he was drenched in sweat.

“Holy hell,” he murmured, hands on his knees as he stood bent forward. “That-that was- I can’t.”

Hiroshi handed him a water bottle and towel.

“Go play with Kawahara,” he took in a deep breath, hoping to lower the intensity of the trembles. “We- we came to play. I’ll be fine.”

Hiroshi gave him a once over. “Just, don’t hesitate to stop if it gets bad okay? You’re really pushing yourself recently.” The brunet looked up to see the boy’s lips pulled into a frown, eyes filled with anger, yet a resigned sadness.

“Got it.” Kouki punched his shoulder lightly. “Now go.”

Nodding, the boy walked back to the court they rented. Kouki felt enough strength to stand back up straight. Seijuurou was observing this from afar but had decided to move closer.

“Well then, would you like to take a break?” asked Seijuurou. “We can discuss our observations.”

Kouki bit his lower lip and nodded. The red-head took the lead to the seats, back straight and his strides steady and graceful like he hadn’t just destroyed Kouki on-court. Such was the fate of the perfect, Kouki supposed, slowly making his legs move to the seats.

“Your dribbling is inconsistent.” Said Seijuurou. “It is clear you know the basics but the way you execute them is unintentionally very varied.”

Seijuurou took the ball in his hand. “Observe.” He dictated and began to dribble. “This is how I do it.” Kouki stared at those hands and that ball like his life depended on it. He continued for a few second like that.

The ball had always hit the same spot, it was the same damn speed and it looked more like a machine was doing it than a human.

“Now this is how I’ve observed that you do it.” Kouki noticed the changes, amplified by his attempts to be as thorough as possible. It was almost hitting the same spot, but it was clearly much, much less controlled. The speed varied with every dribble and he noticed those hands.

The palm kept coming in contact with the ball every few times.

“Oh crap. How did I not see this?” Asked Kouki.

Seijuurou stopped. “It’s the same for everything you do. It’s clear that you know what you should be doing, but the execution is extremely flawed.”

Pulling out his notebook, Kouki flipped to a fresh page. Before he could write anything, Seijuurou stopped him.

“Before you write, split the page into sections. I see that you did a flowchart, which is a good idea, but it would be more useful for gameplay plans than individual skill analysis.”

Nodding, he split into sections Seijuurou dictated. Things he knew, things he mastered, specialities, things he was average at, things that needed extreme amounts of work, and one area for things he did not know. There was another for how these could be used.

At one point, Kouki distanced himself from the fact they were thoroughly examining his own playing style. It helped ease the pain whenever he said something like “your footwork is clumsy at best, apologies”. It was good though. Riko was harsh with training, but she never directly told him he sucked at something. She would just hand them training menus and help them. This was refreshing for once, not being treated like he was going to cry in three seconds. Maybe he was seriously was turning into a huge masochist, because after a point he became numb to it. Was this how Tetsuya had felt in his early days? Were the Generation of Miracles just showered with harsh criticism until they fixed every single one of their flaws?

After the first draft of notes they went onto the court but they were doing basic drills. There was truth in the saying that the basics matter most. They continued like that for the rest of the time and Kouki was genuinely surprised with how fruitful it was. Kouki already had a bit of training plan of sorts plotted out for himself and had begun to think of ideas for Koiichi and Hiroshi. He would have to go to Riko to consult later.

They sat down again and Kouki breathed out and slumped back into the chair. “Thanks, Akashi-kun, you really helped me out.”

Seijuuoru nodded. “Always welcome.” He smiled. “I would need payment though.”

Kouki paused. “P-payment?” he could feel how empty his wallet was and it was a seat away in his big.

“Yes. I would like to look into one of your notes.”

Hanging his head low, Kouki rubbed at his forehead. “I should have known. I played myself.”

“That you did.”

He considered whose he should show. Kouki assumed he would have let go of it if he knew the ins and outs of Kouki’s flaws but nope. Obviously that information would be useless since he wouldn’t even be playing much. Juunpei was way too risky, so was Shun. Taiga and Tetsuya were a definite no. None of the starting line-up were a viable option and neither were the first years. He was doomed. Kouki flipped through the pages in panic and found one which he had completely forgotten about.

‘This, this is it!’

Flipping open to the intended page, he scooted closer to Seijuurou, hands firmly on the ends of the pages so he wouldn’t flip them. Even if he was scared, the idea of having pulled wool over the eyes of Mister Smarty-pants overwhelmed any other emotion.

This was going to be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important Info!
> 
> Okay, so I & my Beta Reader(unofficial but they helps so much they truly are my beta reader at this point), Silver_Porch have been researching on Dissociative Identity Disorder to write Akashi and his condition as accurately as possible. It was Silver_Porch who did a lot of the initial work & we basically tried to analyze what exactly Akashi has because it isn't clear cut DID.   
> On research, Silver_Porch found that he has 'Dissociative disorder not otherwise specified'(DDNOS) since he does have an alter, but the alter isn't clearly defined(speculation based on research we did since there's no canon definition for what he has). 
> 
> We're just undergrad psych majors but we're trying to explore his condition properly since there's a severe lack of addressing his condition in fics. That's fine tho, this is fanfic. But, it's a part of Akashi that must be acknowledged and dealt with correctly imo. Even I had many misconceptions on his condition.
> 
> So I thought, as I learn about DID and DDNOS, I could add new info I gathered in the notes, along with reasons for why I took specific routes when fleshing out how exactly the disorder has manifested. This is a) to educate myself & keep track of it   
>  b) to educate others on this disorder. 
> 
> I'll start with this a few chapters later, but a heads-up if you want to know more. I might drop links too but I suggest if you do the research independently of this fic because after all, it's just notes. 
> 
> Sorry for the long note. Hope the read was fun.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired of how slow burn this is so I'm uploading more now.   
> WHY ARE THEY SO INFURIATINGLY SLOW???

“Kiyoshi Teppei.” Said Seijuurou, eyes scanning the contents of the page. He felt like a fool. Of course this was a possibility. Why did he not think this through? Was his intellectual capacity deteriorating along with his mental health? It would be much more troublesome to deal with both simultaneously.

A deal was a deal. It was not like he wanted to specifically know of any member. Either ways, the information would be outdated by the time Winter Cup rolled around. There was also the training camp where he could observe the members to his heart’s content on his own. This was just to understand how Kouki viewed things.

The first thing he noticed was that there were extensive notes on treating Teppei’s wounds. The second was that a good percentage of it was dedicated to the mental state and past experiences of the player, using them to analyse behaviour. Kouki had put in excessive information on the emotional and mental aspect, more than Seijuurou himself bothered to. During a game, if he knew their skill level and their general ability, it was easy to predict what the next move would be.

But if he had had this with people like Daiki, Tetsuya and Taiga, whose emotions drove their play often, Seijuurou knew he would have had an even higher accuracy rate in predicting their behaviour.

High empathy.

It was a curse when one did not know how to use it to one’s advantage. Sports were emotional since they involved humans, stakes and efforts of previous years. It would all culminate in a singular game. Emotions were fickle, useful in some cases, crippling in others.

He needed to verify this.

“Furihata-kun, do you remember ‘The Flea’?”

The boy nodded.

“What are your thoughts on it?” asked Seijuurou and closed the book.

Suddenly, whatever tension was there in Kouki’s body drained out with every word he uttered. “Creepy. Horrifyingly manipulative, scum-of-the-earth kind of mentality.” He huffed.

“A lot consider it comedic.”

Emotions were easy to play on, and Kouki seemed to have an overabundance of them.

“But imagine being a woman in the sixteenth century and some weirdo is trying to blackmail you into- into- to,” he stuttered. It was hilarious watching the tip of his ears redden with embarrassment.

“Yes?”

“Stuff…into stuff that’s taboo in those times,” He regained composure. “With a flea analogy of all things. A flea! The Canonization is miles better. I can’t believe the same guy wrote it.”

“The poem was intended to be salacious, so the poet has achieved his goal.”

“Yeah, by making everyone uncomfortable.”

Feelings drove Kouki so much, it seemed to saturate his existence. How one could deal with all of it head on and let it reflect constantly, he did not know.

“Also,” Kouki continued. “Every piece of writing can evoke something, but it also depends on intentions. You could do the same analogy better if he weren’t, I don’t know, trying to emotionally blackmail a girl with death and proclaiming they got married. That’s just weird!

“For us, in the twenty-first century, we can laugh at it but imagine being a girl and some random dude is creeping up on you going, ‘see, we got married, because our blood is in this flea’.”

Seijuurou replied. “Art helps in exploring that which cannot be spoken of publicly. I cannot speak for Donne, but he was expressing his illicit emotions through viable means. In the end, it is just a poem. A well-crafted one. I doubt he actually showed this to any woman he held interest in.”

“If it were _just_ a poem, we wouldn’t be talking about it right now five centuries later.”

“I could not have said it better myself.”

There was something intriguing in watching him react, observing his micro expressions. All his life, Seijuurou was around those who carefully hid their true selves behind masks. It was the same for himself. Even emotional expressiveness was calculated, the most obvious were Ryouta and Koutarou. There was something behind every smile.

Even if they desperately wanted to, the mask had already become a part of them, impossible to shake off.

The rest of them stoically held back. The exception was Atsushi, who didn’t hold back when he needed something accomplished but otherwise he was reserved and difficult to read.

To have someone openly showing their emotions without a semblance of a shield was entertaining. Seijuurou continued to ask questions, which elicited answers with less finesse in wording and strewn with interjections.

For once, he didn’t have to think about ulterior motives or manipulative habits. Everything was on display for him to read and there was just, an inherent comfort in knowing he did not need to analyse every single word out of his mouth. Kouki’s proclamation that the ‘flea’ was Donne and that the insect was representation of his ‘stupid delusions’ held every bit of his truth in them.

If he could do that, if he could let go of his own walls and openly laugh at Kouki’s exaggerations instead of hiding behind a rigid expression that only gave room for a small smile, he would have been much happier. But he was an Akashi and Akashi’s did not bend over and laugh their lungs out, they did not make an expression unless it was beneficial in some way.

Seijuurou continued to watch the boy prattle on about other poems that did romance the justice he believed it deserved. Every single one of his analysis was based on personal biases but perhaps, art required that touch when it came to analysis.

They repeated the routine, Seijuurou teaching the boy whatever he could within the limited timespan. It was relaxing going through the motions. Training the other first years was tiresome since mishaps meant consequences to the functioning of the team. He had to train them up since his Uncrowned Kings would be graduating very soon. When he had rented the court, he had done so to be distracted enough to not let himself overthink whilst also having the peace to contemplate rationally.

Helping Kouki was not part of the plans, but it worked just as well. Though average in terms of potential, he was dedicated and a keen observer. Perchance, he was being a fool assisting a boy who he would be playing against much more often than alongside.

Emperor Eye had made games feel like child’s play. Building up a more challenging rival would help keep him sharp.

‘Then should I not be training Kagami, the one who actually stands a chance in giving me a hard time? Or the rest of the Miracles?’

If he could he would, but the Seirin ace would most definitely see it as insulting. Besides, Tetsuya would have much to say about that. The remaining members would react the same. He rather preferred being taken aback by their own discoveries than to guide them. When pushed to the limits, the Miracles blossomed with vicious blades.

Both of the courts’ renting period came to an end and Seijuurou packed his things.

The Seirin first years called out to Kouki to head out.

Kouki bounded towards them, a smile on his face. Seijuurou turned to his own bag to see if he had gotten everything.

“Akashi-kun!”

He looked down to the boy, who was clutching the handle of his bag tightly, some of the nervousness returning to his posture. “Would you, I guess, want to grab a milkshake before heading back?” His voice grew quieter. “That is, if you have time.”

Milkshake?

Was he being invited out by Kouki?

“Of course.” He replied.

The quartet headed out and immediately, the group had divided into two. One consisted of Hiroshi and Koiichi, while the other of Kouki and himself. Predictable, but it would soon be fixed. It was possibly silly of him to hold onto the fact that Kouki had not forgiven him and yet treated him well. Was he really that naïve? Whatever it was, the irksome feeling of having this boy be kind to him while unforgiving of his past grew stronger. Getting close to him was supposed to make the guilt abate into the distance, but it had turned out much differently.

Befriending him, made things more burdensome. Opinions of people whom he did not care for meant nothing.

Did that mean he cared for him? It would be idiotic of him to deny it, but, the extent of it concerned him. His father had repeatedly told him that as an Akashi, the world would do its best to make him vulnerable and then quickly take advantage of it. The farther they were from his height, the more vicious they would be. Furihata Kouki was exactly that.

So far away that their current proximity was a miracle in and of itself. Wealth, status, power, potential and prowess, comparing the two on those terms would be an insult. But Seijuurou knew with absolute certainty that Kouki was not kind to him out of a need to take advantage of the leeway Seijuurou gave him. Contrarily, Kouki had not played nice many times. He was kind, but had maintained his grounds.

Why was it so hard to figure this boy out? Who on earth treated a person they chose to not forgive to milkshake and took careful measures in considering his tastes?

“I would prefer strawberry.”

Kouki had asked him regarding his preferences as they eyed the menu. The drinks were named based on the ingredients they were made of. Uncreative. At the very least the ambience made up for it. Perhaps the taste would too.

They were seated at the quaint milkshake joint which had its furniture set outside.

“Cool. Do you like sweets?” asked Kouki, eyes on the menu card as his finger travelled across the page.

“Yes.”

Scooting closer, Kouki pointed to a drink named obnoxiously long. “This one’s one of their sweetest stuff. Or,” he moved to show another. “This, its sweet too but kind of subtle.”

“The former sounds fine.”

“Okay then,” he turned to Koiichi. “One ‘Chocolate Brownie Ice Cream Syrup Volcano’ for me and a ‘Strawberry Squared Sweetie Hearts Whippy Potion’ for him.”

Koiichi noted it down on his phone. Hiroshi quickly eyed Seijuurou but turned away in an instant. What did that mean?

“That’s the sweetest drink on the menu.” said Hiroshi, facing him but looking to his side.

“I am aware.”

Koiichi sniggered. “And the most embarrassingly decorated- OW! Why do you two keep doing that!?” he eyed Kouki and his attacker.

Hiroshi had elbowed him and seemed to be ignoring Koiichi’s complaints. It was nowhere near the quarrels of Daiki and Ryouta, but he could see the two involving in such squabbles.

“Surely it cannot be too bad.” Said Seijuurou.

Ten minutes later when their orders came, the red-head was faced with a giant bowl which had a heart-shaped candy placed atop the ice cream. He could not comprehend where to begin eating it. This was not a milkshake. It had liquid in it but surely, it was a sorry excuse to consume calories enough to maintain him for days, than a consumable drink.

Kouki began to dig into his substantially smaller order.

Seijuurou eyed the monstrosity in front of him and took the spoon they had offered. This required precision in its consumption. A single misstep and the currently melting ice cream would create a mess.

Hiroshi cleared his throat. “Start with the candy. It crumbles easily and you can mix it in with the ice cream.”

“Have you eaten this before?” asked Seijuurou.

“No, but he has.” He pointed to Kouki. “And let me tell you, it was not pretty.”

Kouki glared at him. “That was one time-“

Koiichi joined in. “You managed to get the ice cream in your hair.”

“Kagami hit my shoulder and the spoon fuck- I mean, freaking slipped!”

This was his chance, to get on good terms with the final two.

“Do tell me more, it sounds very intriguing.” Said Seijuurou. Bonds were formed at the cost of Kouki’s embarrassment, but no harm was done.

A price had to be payed if one had to advance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Akashi’s………not that bad.”

Kouki gaped at Koiichi. They had parted ways with the red-head after a surprisingly long conversation and were making their way back home.

“Yeah. Was it because he was digging into my horrid, horrid past?” asked Kouki, walking ahead. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Said Hiroshi, who wasn’t even trying to hide his shit-eating grin.

“Why on earth would you tell him about the time a basketball bounced off my head and gave me a concussion?”

“Man you should’ve seen the rest of it,” Koiichi sighed wistfully. “It hit the student council’s room window during a meeting. Wish we could’ve recorded it. It went straight up to first floor!”

Hiroshi laughed. “Coach was so mad! Best part, they were discussing our club’s budget.”

Face-palming, Kouki replied. “Don’t tell me about it, she was mad at _me_ for some reason.”

“Don’t forget, Kuroko thought CPR was the way to help.” Said Koiichi and the two laughed harder. They wouldn’t be laughing if it were them. He had kissed a girl before but that was at the second year of middle school when both of them were ‘dating’ and saw movies for reference to their dating life. It was weird and neither party liked it. Guess how he got to the realization that ‘straight’ wasn’t the best way to define him. 

“Just- don’t. It was peak disaster.” Said Kouki.

See, he liked Seijuurou but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew what the other was trying. This was a damn game for him, getting the rest of his team to fall in love with him so Kouki would have no excuse but to put behind the fact that he mentally exhausted his teammates. Sure, his two best friends would let him go, but that was because they didn’t _know_ this was a strategy.

Fine! He would play at it too! As if becoming friends was all it took. The fact that he was treating this like a challenge was proof enough that Seijuurou didn’t get _why_ he chose to not forgive him. Seriously, was everything a matter of losing and winning for him? Every. Single. Thing.

He tried to apply that to analysing books of all things. Too bad for him, art was subjective so he was fighting a battle lost.

Kouki: 1 ; Seijuurou: Probably in the thousands.

But knowing Seijuurou had a ridiculous sweet tooth was a win too. The last time he ate that Strawberry Disaster thing, he had to pause midway and distribute it to the rest of the team. There was only so much sweet a man can take.

Seijuurou had made his way through the thing gracefully. Best part, the dish matched his whole cherry-red aesthetic. It was a match made in heaven. Day after day, he was finding out something cute about him, it made him understand just how, human, this boy was, even if he was a god in basketball. Nobody was flawlessly perfect. Liking overly sweet things wasn’t a flaw obviously, but it made him so…..Different from what he had known prior.

Would he end up like Koiichi too, taken by his charms and just letting him go because he suddenly found out that the boy likes cute things or something else equally ridiculous?

He didn’t want to. Not when his dreams still had scissors being shoved to his cheeks, sometimes his neck, other times his eyes. It was stupid of him to still be afraid. He wanted to get over it.

‘Quickly get why I can’t forgive you and tell me.’

Somehow, he had gotten himself involved with the main man of the Generation of Miracles and he was already experiencing the drama.

Kouki’s home was first so the two dropped him off and headed their way. He entered and took a quick shower, changing into more comfortable clothes and drowning in his bed. Rolling over, he pulled the notebook out of his bag and examined it. Seijuurou had written in it mostly, handwriting looking more like a printed font. It was so immaculate he kind of envied it. The lines were straight +in the divisions and he had used multiple colours which Kouki had brought along to segregate the points.

They were very straight to the point, and he read through it all diligently. At a point, he noticed he was staring at the handwriting more than what the words tried to say. No one could blame him though, that script was perfect.

He couldn’t have one flaw could he? Otherwise the universe would fall apart.

The training would begin soon and he was sure he was underprepared in all aspects.

Just maybe, it wouldn’t be too bad though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch this channel for awesome explanations AND amazing content! The DissociaDID system has DID and works very hard to normalize it! Here's the link ^_^; https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6kFD5xIFvWyLlytv5pTR1w
> 
> Dissociative Identity Disorder:  
> -It was formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder but that term is not used anymore.   
> -It is a form of mental disorder, as in it impairs personal functioning a lot. So what people classify as a 'normal' life would be hard to live. 
> 
> The BEST analogy for this I've come across was given by DissociaDID. People think DID means there's an 'original' personality. But there isn't. It's like a shattered bowl, which piece is the original? They all are!
> 
> -It's main feature is that two or more distinct personally states are maintained for a long, long, long time.   
> \- Around 2-3% of the population experience this.   
> -It is usually due to childhood, repeated trauma- but genetic factors also play a role. It's an interplay of many factors.   
> \- We all 'dissociate' to an extent. Spacing out? You're brushing your teeth in the morning on autopilot? Doing things without thinking at all? That's dissociating. It happens to some extent in all of us but this, to a very extreme extent, where you are having large lapses in memory, and it's interfering with daily life, that's when you have to get concerned.


	11. Chapter 11

When Seijuurou reached his apartment, things felt unnaturally silent. These past few months, he had gotten used to the presence of others and had come to enjoy it. If not the Miracles, then it was his team. He had begun to talk with the other first years too, and they had frequented cafes near the dorms once practice was over, based on Reo’s recommendations.

If he desired, he could just call Tetsuya, or even Kouki, but they had just parted.

He wanted to talk with his teammates.

Pulling out his phone, he called Eikichi. He was boisterous enough and rarely questioned his decisions, though he did show concern. If he knew that he was in Tokyo, it would not bother him. Koutarou and Reo would throw one question after the other to get an answer out of him.

_“Yo! Captain! How you doing?”_

Seijuurou smiled, though there were complaints about his loudness, he had grown used to it. It was useless to strain his vocal chords in such a manner, and highly distracting, but, he could not begrudge Eikichi for it.

“I am well. How are you doing?” he asked in kind.

_“Hanging with Reo-nee and Itou. They wanted to shop. Want to come with?”_ Itou was a fellow first year who had gotten highly attached to Reo.

“Unfortunately, I cannot. I hope you are having a good time.”

_“Can I be honest?”_ he whispered. _“It’s a nightmare. This is the fifteenth shop and there’s no signs of stopping. Please help-”_

_“Ei-chan!”_ Reo’s voice rang over the phone. _“Come on I just found a really nice shoe for you!”_

“I believe you’ve been summoned.” Replied Seijuurou. He wished to speak longer and hear more, but they were busy, with their own lives. He could not interfere.

_“Aww, just please say we’re having practice or something to do, I don’t know. You’re good at this stuff, what’s a good excuse?”_

Reo shopped in sparsity, but took a monumentally long amount of time to get exactly what he wanted. He felt sorry. “Even if I had something for you to do, I’m afraid I can’t. I’m currently in Tokyo. Besides, his taste in footwear is impeccable.”

_“YOU’RE IN TOKYO!?”_

_“Don’t scream in a store goodness!”_

_“My bad, my bad, but Akashi’s in Tokyo.”_

It was clear that the older had snatched the phone. _“Hello? Sei-chan? How are you?”_

“I’m well. Sorry for intruding on your time together.” He replied curtly.

_“No, it’s okay. Why did you call him anyways? Is something up? And why are you in Tokyo?”_

He could not possibly give them true reason for why he called them. It was much too embarrassing. It was weak. Yet he wanted to tell them.

“I simply wanted to check on everyone’s status. To keep track of the members.” He tried to phrase it to be as professional as possible. They could read between the lines, and whatever they read it as was up to them.

_“Got that, but why are you in Tokyo? When are you coming back?”_

That was a question he did not want to face. Coming to Tokyo was a temporary solution to a deep-rooted issue. His father had yet to interfere with all of this, and based on his current behaviour, he doubted an intervention would happen any time soon.

But what should he do?

The training camp was happening in Tokyo in another two weeks, and he had no intention to face his father.

“I will be staying in Tokyo this vacation.” He replied. There was a semblance of a plan there, and he would take it over nothing.

_“Hmmm……okay then. See you next month.”_

Seijuurou breathed a sigh of relief. “I do not want to hold you back too long, see you soon.”

_“Bye bye, oh and, tell me why you’re in Tokyo when we get there.”_ He could hear the smile in his voice _. “And I expect a proper explanation.”_

He cut the call and Seijuurou sighed. Did Reo have a censor on him? Or could he read minds?

After Winter Cup, he had grown closest to Reo since he could sit down and listen with no judgement, while also offering some valid advice when he needed it. Never did he try to override Seijuurou’s own reasoning for his actions. He spoke only when he deemed it necessary. Reo knew most about the situation with his family.

Which, proved to be disadvantageous for Seijuurou because somehow, his senior had learned to pick up when he was distressed. He did so with all the members, but Seijuurou did not expect the same treatment from him for himself.

He was dreading it, but he knew he could trust Reo with his worries.

Except, he would have to move past his apprehensions of being vulnerable first.

Entering his room, he noticed that his previously worn clothes were still on his bed. Said bed was not made either. He went to the kitchen and found no dinner.

No matter, the servants were probably late.

But they never were, for fear of being reprimanded. Those that worked for the Akashi’s must reflect the impeccable behaviour and work ethic of the family itself.

Putting it aside he went to shower and was disappointed to see that everything was still a mess. He received no message of any servants coming in. Seijuurou opened his laptop and checked his mail, but there was nothing in regards to these matters.

Was his father neglecting the apartment?

He would have to contact Watari, his current driver, and ask of this matter. The man had gotten back to his own abode after a day, and was possibly already on his way to Kyoto.

Seijuurou decided that the matter must be dealt with immediately.

“Hello, Watari-san, this is Akashi Seijuurou.” He spoke into his phone, settling on his dishevelled bed.

“Good evening young master, how may I help you?”

“When will the housekeepers be arriving?” Seijuurou decided not to dally around the subject matter. It would be an annoyance for the man returning home and for himself.

“Housekeepers? Unfortunately sir, there will be none available in Tokyo for the next two months.”

How absurd. They had an abundance of helpers, and even if some had vacations, the others would still be working. They had a rotation system for long stretches of absenteeism.

“Why not?” his voice was laced with annoyance.

“I believe Master will be hosting foreign dignitaries for a convention occurring next month, and the preparations for their stay are now prioritized. Most of the house help will be focused on that. While the remaining are required to maintain the main house.”

Watari was not even attempting to speak with his father. It seemed he was convinced. His father definitely had a hand in this matter, otherwise, the old man’s response would be completely different. This was possibly some sort of plan to get him back to Kyoto.

There was no way around it.

Akashi Seijuurou would have to live truly alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahaha what's editing?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to FINALLY heat up a LITTLE in this chapter. Not much. A little. But we're getting there~~  
> Hope you guys like it hehehehe

“This was not how I was planning on spending the vacation.” Sighed Kouki and looked through the tomatoes in the vegetable aisle, putting the decent looking ones into the bag. Seijuurou was in another aisle, looking at towels to pick. Since the red-head was basically living alone _,_ he had to do the cooking and cleaning by himself, which, he had exactly zero experience in.

Kouki knew it’d be disastrous if he left him alone. The boy had called in to ask about laundry and Kouki had overestimated his experience. When Kouki had went to meet up with him, on Seijuurou’s request, he saw that the boy had mixed in the lights with the darks and a good chunk of his wardrobe was dyed in colours they were not supposed to be. He decided to teach the boy some simple recipes to keep him alive and gave him another rundown of how washing clothes worked. Besides, he was a fast learner, Kouki was sure he would learn quickly.

At the cash counter, Seijuurou was shocked to see the total costs of everything they bought.

“I never knew one could buy so much with so little.” Mused Seijuurou on the walk back.

“They had a lot of offers. Plus, I got the cheaper stuff….”

Maybe that was a bad idea.

He continued. “…Unless you wanted the expensive stuff. But they’re basically the same and they’re always trying to scam people with the price tag and the packaging but it’s all the same anyways and-“

“Furihata-kun,” said Seijuurou with a smile. “I trust you would have taken the right decisions.”

Gulping, Kouki nodded and they made their way back to Seijuurou’s apartment. The first time he saw it, he was floored. He still was. Taiga’s apartment seemed like a joke in comparison to this goliath of a room. The television emerged from the ground in one of the rooms. That fancy.

It had a hot tub, a balcony which he knew could accommodate at least ten people with ample space left, and a kitchen that was the size of both his and Kouta’s room combined.

Seijuurou placed the bags on the counter island. “Shall we begin?”

Nodding Kouki took out everything and put away the things they wouldn’t be using at the moment in the fridge and cupboards. “We’ll start with something simple, Omurice.” He said and pulled out the ingredients, placing them on the table.

“First, we need to wash everything. You think they have a bowl in here?” asked Kouki.

“I’m sure they would have kept a majority of the utensils.” He headed to the cupboards and shelves, delving through them. Finally, he pulled out a large bowl, one too big for their requirement. The brunet just shook his head and gave him a thumbs up.

“Here are the vegetables we need,” he began to list it off and Seijuurou listened intently, nodding. He insisted on repeating the ingredients he heard, and well, it was a good idea. So he let Seijuurou do it, and the boy managed to say it in the same order he had.

“Yeah, you got it right.”

Seijuurou looked way too pleased.

“Can you wash them in the bowl? Then we can chop them.” He headed to the cabinets and began to search for pans, a chopping board and other such cutlery. Seijuurou hauled the large bowl to the sink and opened the tap.

The water filled into it.

Kouki had found his utensils.

Seijuurou showed no signs of stopping the tap.

It was overflowing and he continued to stare into the sink in which the bowl was.

‘Holy fuck what did I get myself into!?’

“Uhhh, Akashi-kun? You have to stop the water, then rinse the vegetables.” Said Kouki and walked up to the sink, rolling up his sleeves. He poured out the excess water and washed them as Seijuurou stared in concentration. “Now you do it.” Said Kouki and monitored him. This time it went fine.

Cool. He got this.

Placing the chopping board, he demonstrated what parts of the vegetables to discard and listed out the amount for the serving sizes.

“Wait a minute.” Said Seijuurou and headed into the unexplored caverns of the frankly, too large, of an apartment. He came back quickly with a notebook and pen, and began to take notes of whatever Kouki was saying. It put a strange pressure on him. Kouki was not the best at teaching, but he tried to be as clear as possible.

After the prep was done, he went to the stove and turned the knobs to get the fire. It was a little confusing, since the dials were different and there were buttons which he did not even know the purpose of. He boiled some rice, and asked Seijuurou to crack an egg.

“How?”

Kouki pulled up a smaller bowl and cracked one in demonstration and the boy followed. Or tried to.

There were eggshells in their future omelette.

“It’s fine, we’ll just pick them out.” Said Kouki, but Seijuurou seemed dead-set on getting it right. Sighing, Kouki allowed him to do so. This was exactly what he was like when his mom taught him and Kouta how to cook. Kouta basically crushed the egg in his hands and the yolk dripped onto the floor. Fun times.

When the rice was done boiling, the red head had cracked open five of the eight eggs, with the final one having met his standards. He rushed over to show the bowl and Kouki really wanted to laugh. Biting the inside of his cheek, he supressed it to a smile and just patted his head. “Good job!” he said and pulled off the cooker, replacing it with a pan.

He called over Seijuurou and asked him to hold the sauces.

“When I ask, could you give them to me?”

Nodding Seijuurou placed his notebook on the side and held the condiments like he was going into battle.

‘ Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, oh boy this is going to be hard.’

He stirred the fried rice and Seijuurou handed the sauces.

It went well and the rest of it was smooth riding since Seijuurou only had to observe, with him stirring the pan a little at the beginning and end. The omelettes were easy enough, and he plated everything. Seijuurou carried them over to the small dining table outside the kitchen and placed them.

He had forgotten the final touch though.

No matter, he could do it at the table too.

“ _Itadakimasu_.” Said Seijurrou.

“Wait, wait, we forgot something!” said Kouki and showed the ketchup bottle in his hand. Seijuurou looked on in confusion. Pulling the plates over, he dotted the omelettes with two drops on opposing sides, and a curve at the bottom of the two.

A smiley face.

“There, now it’s done!” said Kouki and passed it back over. Seijuurou’s lips quirked upwards. “Is this mandatory?” he asked.

“Why yes, it’s the most important ingredient.” He gestured with the ketchup bottle. “Happiness!”

Laughing Seijuurou pulled up his chopsticks. “Understood.”

They began to eat and Kouki noticed it turned out surprisingly good.

“How’d you like it?” asked Kouki, a little hesitant. He didn’t dare to think it can be as good as the things Seijuurou previously ate, but, validation always felt nice.

“It’s good. Thank you for the lessons.” Replied Seijuurou.

Kouki sighed in relief. “I’ll teach you something else later. Any requests?”

He replied without a wasted breath. “Tofu.”

Kouki waited. Thinking he would add something more.

“…….just….tofu?”

“Any dish with tofu.”

Okay that made sense. He knew a few recipes he could teach. “That, can be arranged. You ever eat anything on the regular that has tofu? Specific favourites?”

“Tofu in any of its form is a delicacy.”

He let out the laugh he had been supressing for the hour. “Akashi, you really like tofu huh?”

“Yes.” He said in return. “Also, you can continue to call my name without the honorifics.”

“Huh?”

“Just now, you had called me without the honorific.”

Did he? What the hell? Kouki could feel his cheeks set alight. He doubted he could do that on the regular. He always felt like a certain distance must be maintained when it came to interacting with Seijuurou. They weren’t exactly close.

Or were they?

They did speak of things he never got the chance to with Hiroshi and Koiichi. They played basketball often enough the past week, and they even cooked together. Though they were miles apart, they had managed to speak to each other almost every day of the week.

Was this okay?

“Then…I’ll do that…” said Kouki. But Seijuurou wasn’t the type to just give things for nothing. “You can call me without the honorifics too. Or ‘Furi’ if you like. That’s what everyone calls me.”

Seijuurou nodded. “Furi? ”

This was weird.

Hearing such a dumb nickname from him was weird. Honorifics and fancy titles fit him better. But then again, he saw Seijuurou wince while pulling out eggshells and had seen him spill laundry detergent all over the carpet.

Maybe this was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I KNOW the fandom consensus is that Akashi calls Furihata 'Kouki', or simply 'Furihata/Furihata-kun' and let me tell you, I fucking love it when he calls him by his first name too. But, in canon all the first years call him 'Furi' and given names are a big deal.   
> They're just starting to get more comfotable with each other, and jumping from honorifics to given name felt too far, but I wanted to make them seem closer. So.....Furi........for now.....
> 
> tbh 'Furi' feels weird for Akashi to say, Idk if he would stick to it or not, since he doesn't call anyone by nicknames, it's either given or surname. Idk, should I stick with it? 
> 
> Please leave comments on the name deal, and just in general, even if it's incoherent screaming(reading and replying to comments keeps me alive and it's fun hearing thoughts and talking about akafuri to people)! 
> 
> Thank you if you've reached this far!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Akafuri Day folks(for some of you ehehe)
> 
> Since it is the week of our beloved pairing, I'm uploading three chapters in a row~~  
> ENJOY!

“Furihata-kun?” called Tetsuya.

The training camp was less than a week away and they were out shopping as a team. Tetsuya did not really know what to get, since he had forgotten what he got during the previous camp. So this time, he tagged along with the first-years. Thank goodness for Taiga, since he was the one who suggested this.

“Yeah?” replied the brunet.

Seijuurou might be cautious and inept in using things like social media, but Kouki wasn’t. So when Tetsuya saw a post on the boy’s social media with Seijuurou in a picture, taken in Tokyo. He knew something was up. Those two were getting close, true. But his middle school friend had disclosed this information, and hung out with Kouki instead of him, or any of the other Generation of Miracles.

Unacceptable.

The fact that Seijuurou didn’t tell him made Tetsuya so much more suspicious of his reasons to be here.

“So why is Akashi-kun in Tokyo?”

Kouki looked confused. “Should he not be here?”

“No.”

Shrugging, Kouki replied. “Is that so?”

Tetsuya nodded.

“Then….I guess I’ll ask?”

That got him nowhere. But, if Kouki was asking, he might find out something. He would never ask Seijuurou directly. That would be compromising himself. If Seijuurou did not want to share, he wouldn’t go through the trouble to ask either. Yes, he was a phone call and a message away from the answer, but so was Seijuurou, who could have told him.

So no.

Seijuurou could be a loner in his apartment.

Alone.

But the problem was, he cared.

Seijuurou really wasn’t being himself, the polite smile and good morning messages every morning had disappeared. The messages were a new, strange development. It happened right after his birthday.

Daiki had almost burnt his phone, but it was a good development. The Generation of Miracles had a group chat now, which was _active_. Even Atsushi replied. Mostly with cat memes and pictures of food, but he was replying nonetheless.

Suddenly, Seijuurou closed himself off. Ryouta was incessantly messaging all of them about the missing good morning texts and his non-existence on the group chat. Safe to say, they were all a little worried. They would be so, very mad if they got to know their former captain was in Tokyo and not visiting them.

When he reached home, the first thing he did was create a chat without Seijuurou.

**Me** : Akashi-kun is in Tokyo

**Kise** **Ryouta** : WHAT THE FUCK  
 **Kise** **Ryouta** : WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS!?

**Momoi** **Satsuki** : How do you know!?

**Me** : Classmate’s facebook.

**Kise** **Ryouta** : …..uh why was he on your classmates’ facebook?

**Momoi** **Satsuki** : Your classmate? Kagami-kun?

**Me** : No.

**Aomine** **Daiki** : SAY MORE YOU DUMBASS!

**Me** : He has a new friend. They went out.

**Kise** **Ryouta** : He went to some new friend of his instead of us……  
Its’ okay I’m fine.

**Murasakibara** **Atsushi** : sure you are

**Kise** **Ryouta** : Why are you sassing me?

**Aomine** **Daiki** : Yeah that’s my job.

**Momoi** **Satsuki** : We’re having a serious conversation about our  
friend not trusting us enough to tell us stuff.  
Get it together!

**Aomine** **Daiki** : No.

**Momoi** **Satsuki**. -_- Not the time.

**Midorima** **Shintarou** : Evidence?

**Me** : (attached picture of the Seijuurou, Kouki, Hiroshi and Koiichi at the milkshake bar)

**Kise** **Ryouta** : I’M FINE!

**Murasakibara** **Atsushi** : Where’s this place?

Me: It’s called the ‘Sweets and Beats’

**Murasakibara** **Atsushi** : thank

**Midorima** **Shintarou** : At the very least add in the ‘s’.

**Kise** **Ryouta** : ….And now he’s offline.

**Midorima** **Shintarou** : Akashi did meet me the day he arrived, but asked of  
me to keep his arrival a secret. But now that Kuroko  
is the one who found the truth. I hold no liability to this  
discovery.

**Momoi** **Satsuki** : He IS closest to you. And if we figure out the reason and ask  
you for confirmation, I assume you’d spill?

**Midorima** **Shintarou** : I obliged to no such thing.

**Momoi** **Satsuki** : I’ll rat you out to Akashi-kun, saying that you played a part  
in the identification of his location.

**Midorima** **Shintarou** : I did not. Kuroko did.

**Momoi** **Satsuki** : Sweetie, do you know why witnesses play an important  
role? They confirm accusations. Which, you just did.

**Midorima** **Shintarou** : Fine I’ll confirm if your hypotheses are correct.

**Momoi Satsuki** : ;) Great! I’ve narrowed it down to 2

**Murasakibara Atsushi:** Dad. Other dude.

_Momoi Satsuki:_ _* is typing*_

**Momoi Satsuki** : That’s…..one way to put it but yes. His biological   
father meddled in some way or his alter is   
causing trouble. 

**Me** : Momoi-san, what can we conclude?

**Murasakibara Atsushi** : Bet 10 lollipops its papa

**Momoi Satsuki:** Don’t humanise him with ‘papa’!

**Midorima Shintarou:** This is not a betting pool.

**Murasakibara Atsushi** : Midocchin~  
Is it biodad?

**Midorima Shintarou** : It is.

**Murasakibara Atsushi:** I’ll be collecting the 50 candies next visit

**Kise Ryouta:** How did it become 50?

**Murasakibara Atsushi** : 10 each.

**Momoi Satsuki** : Fine, fine. We got a deal.   
Now, why did he not tell us he’s here? Did he need  
alone time? Or does he truly not trust us.

**Me:** Given how much time we have spent on trying to  
understand why he’s here. He probably thinks we  
meddle too much.

**Kise Ryouta** : We meddle the right amount.

**Aomine Daiki** : Guy’s like a clam. Never says a thing.  
I vote we wait for him to open up.

**Midorima Shintarou:** That’s very mature of you Aomine.

**Aomine Daiki** : We wrench him open after a week.

**Kise Ryouta:** Sounds good

**Murasakibara Atsushi** : k

**Momoi Satsuki:** That’s enough time for him to approach us.

**Me** : Agreed.

**Midorima Shintarou:** No! Give him his space.   
You just mentioned that he is a private person.   
Meddling would only cause more issues.

**Aomine Daiki:** Last time we ‘gave space’, middle school happened.

Tetsuya read that message over and over again, eyes refusing to leave the bubble of text. Did he just, mention Teikou? Did he just casually mention the very thing that started all this?

**Midorima Shintarou:** Fine! I agree to this plan.

**Kise Ryouta:** Guys, its’ happening.

**Midorima Shintarou:** What is?

**Kise Ryouta:** We’re working together as a team for the first time!

**Aomine Daiki:** We literally played basketball against a monster  
American b-ball team like ten days ago.

**Kise Ryouta:** Doesn’t count. Kagamicchi was there.

**Me:** He’s a part of us now.

**Kise Ryouta:** Did he get yelled at by Nijimura-san?

**Me:** No, but he played with us.

**Kise Ryouta:** Until Nijimura-san yells at him, he will remain an   
unofficial member.

**Aomine Daiki:** That means Haizaki qualifies

**Kise Ryouta** : He’s a RAT. Momoicchi. Do your thing~

**Momoi Satsuki:** On it.

He wondered what Taiga would feel about getting a long session of unbridled honesty from a man he never met. Tetsuya was sure he would be fine.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Hey, so, what brings you to Tokyo anyways?” asked Kouki, sorting through the new set of grocery they bought. Today, was _Yudofu_ , and Seijuurou was way too excited.

The red head paused washing the cutlery. “I missed Tokyo dearly, and wanted to visit for a while without any obligations.”

“That’s nice. Bet you and the others could hang out more now.” Commented Kouki, looking through the vegetables. “Kuroko looked excited.” He actually looked more constipated and confused but whatever.

He heard the clang of metal against the floor, rattling far too loudly and for far too long. Kouki rushed over, abandoning the _mizuna_ in his hands. “You okay?” he asked, helping him pick up the fallen chopsticks and bowls. Thankfully, there was no glass involved.

“Kuroko knows I’m here?”

Kouki tilted his head in confusion. “Yeah.” He place the fallen utensils near the sink.

“How?”

“He saw my post?”

“You posted the pictures we took online?”

“Yeah…?” Did he just get himself involved in a non-basketball related Generation of Miracles drama? He could sense Seijuurou’s demeanour shift. This, was going to be a disaster. Kouki could sense it.

Somehow, he fucked up.

“Why would you do that?” asked Seijuurou, eyes cold, he was standing upright, shoulders squared. There was a tension in his jaw that he had never even seen in games. It was like he was holding in a yell.

“You never told me I shouldn’t.”

“Out.”

“What?”

“Now.”

Kouki moved closer, hands fisted. “You can’t just ask me to get out without an explanation.” He said, folding his arms over his chest.

Seijuurou scoffed. “This is my apartment.”

“T-to which, you had invited me to…” He really wanted those words to come out stronger but his voice warbled at the end. But, the message was conveyed. Seijuurou could threaten him at basketball but right now, this was just two people arguing.

Kouki could deal with that.

“Now I’m requesting you to leave.”

Kouki glared. “ _Ordering_. Ordering me to leave.”

“Then leave.”

He sighed. One of them had to be more mature about this. Whatever this temper tantrum was, it was stemming from a sensitive place. Kouki was dealing with a ticking time bomb and he had to handle this right. “I won’t unless you give me some explanation.”

“You posted pictures of me online.”

This boy, had a flair for the dramatic. It made him sound like he did something way worse than what happened. It was a picture of them chowing down on ice cream and milkshake with some buddies! What was the big deal?

“It’s a private account and I have sixty followers, of which, all of them have seen your face and know you. If its’ privacy, I have no problems taking it down. I’ll do it right now if you want me to.” Replied Kouki.

“Just get out.” 

Kouki looked at the boy, everything in him begged him to run away, to give in, but, he felt like he had to stand his ground. He was not at fault. Everything was fine until a minute ago. Seijuurou, was not mad at him, He had seen this enough times with his parents and Kouta. Mishap at work, some argument in the family, a bad day at school, heck, even he was guilty of this. Redirecting anger at the wrong place.

This was something else entirely.

There was only ever one solution to this kind of thing.

“I’m, going to leave the recipe note here.” He said and fetched his bag and wallet on the coffee table. "Once you clear your head” He looked pointedly at the red head. “ _If-_ you clear your head. Call me.”

With that, he closed the pristine white doors and heard the jingle from the automatic mechanization on the lock go off.

Somehow, Kouki felt like he was committing a mistake walking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a glimpse into the chaotic GoM gc lol


	14. Chapter 14

Kouki walked out the door.

The click of the lock seemed to have been the trigger for guilt to settle in. Why was control slipping away from his hold so quickly? Regardless of how intense his emotions were, he never let his voice raise above a certain level, never let anything run loose. Everything had to be finely tuned.

When things got too much, when everything overwhelmed his senses he-

His brother, had switched in with him.

What had he done?

Had he really taken out his frustrations on someone who knew nothing of his situation?

Seijuurou could not help but wonder how his brother would have handled it. There was an emptiness in him that replied with nothing. In his mind, he screamed for a reply. Anything would do. But all he received was another reminder that he was truly alone. Unaided, he would drive away everyone. There was a precarious balance between the two, after a long while of inhabiting the same being. Now, this fragile seesaw tipped dangerously into chaos.

His gaze lingered at the counter, all sorts of ingredients assembled and waiting. He had ruined everything again.

It was never supposed to be him. To move through life as Akashi Seijuurou.

He was undeserving.

He did not want it anymore. To live knowing he was incomplete, there was a culpable sense of hollowness that could have echoed in his bones. He felt like an imposter in his own body.

There was a numbness in his heart, after years of hurting others, hurting himself. The story always ended the same way. Seijuurou was meant to be left alone. He was volatile and he knew it. Like a flickering candle fire that was always a breath away from turning into inferno. Anyone who approached, flinched away.

Everything he held turned to ash.

The tofu was sliced and placed in a bowl. A colourful note with the recipe was stuck to the table with scotch tape. They were supposed to have done this together, and now the materials would go to waste.

Seijuurou walked up to the counter and picked up the note. It was written in large letters with step-by-step instructions detailing what must be done. Kouki cared enough to still leave the recipe, to have left everything the same way it had been set up.

_“Once you clear your head. If you clear your head. Call me.”_

Seijuurou refused to believe it would be that easy.

He did not want to repeat the past. Never again. Not after coming so far. His heart had grown used to the company of others, and it was possibly foolish to do so, but it had given him joy. Yet it hurt so much. Everything hurt these days. Time would stretch itself long and far, the minutes were like hours, and he found himself staring listlessly at nothing the past week. The silence of the apartment, the pristine white and silver furniture. In such a place, there was no fear of being judged for not being perfect.

However, there was always his own cruel and scrutinizing gaze. The urge to wrap himself with old, broken armour constantly surged through him.

Seijuurou never knew he could cry.

Never knew he could lose control.

He had to fix this.

Rushing to his room, he picked up his phone and called Tetsuya. He always knew what to do in these situations.

“Kuroko. I need your help.” He said.

The other end crackled alive. “Hello, Akashi-kun.”

“I may have upset Furihata. I raised my voice over him telling you that I am in Tokyo, though he did not know that I intended to keep it to myself. He left, there is tofu in the open and I do not know what to do.”

There was a heavy silence, the tick of the wall clock was unbearably loud. “Akashi-kun, I’m upset that I had to find out through Furihata-kun. I’ll be angry with you about it later. But right now, you’ve got to explain the situation better.”

Seijuurou inhaled a sharp breath. Tetsuya was irritated, which was fine, he had every right to be. “I will explain later why I kept this visit a secret. Even Midorima doesn’t exactly know why I’m here. I feared you would all worry and try to visit when all I need to be is alone.” Said he.

“You could have just told us that.” Said Tetsuya, monotone as ever.

“I-I needed time, and space.” He replied. He really didn’t want anyone to see him so weak, confused and just, lost.

Tetsuya said. “We’ll talk about that later. Now what’s this about upsetting Furihata-kun?”

“He informed me that you saw the picture he posted online and from that deduced I am in Tokyo.” Said Seijuurou. “Since I did not want anyone to know and the picture had been the cause for this revelation, I, as he put it, ‘ordered’ him to get out.”

“Why was he in your apartment in the first place?” asked Tetsuya. “What was that about tofu?”

No story could hide this matter. “There are no cooks or cleaners here currently, which is linked with the reason I am in Tokyo. Furihata assists me in cooking and cleaning. Today he was supposed to teach me to cook _Yudofu_.”

“Mhmm, how did he respond to the fight?”

“His exact words asked of me to call him at a later time.”

Tetsuya sniggered on the other end, it was short and easily missed but it was definitely there. If he were present at the moment, Seijuurou was sure he would have strangled him. “Then call him. He’s probably not too mad at you. Probably.”

“He asked me to call him.”

“Yes.”

“He left the recipe note here.”

“Okay.”

“He would forgive me correct?”

“That’s up to him.”

Seijuurou looked at the note in his hand, and recalled a repeated cooking tip of Kouki’s. He knew what to do.

“Thank you Kuroko.”

“We’re having a team meeting after you resolve whatever this is.”

He owed it to them. “Fine. We shall discuss this later.”

Tetsuya cut the call.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Ki-chan! You’ve got a friend over!”

Kouki rolled out of bed, and pulled out his earphones. He looked around the room, it was either Shinji or Koiichi, who probably left something behind. It was always like this, either their wallet, or their phone, or some other trinket of theirs.

“Coming!” he yelled and rushed downstairs.

At the living room, speaking with his mom with a bag in his hand was someone else entirely.

“Akashi?”

The red-head looked away from his mom, whom he was conversing with. The pleasant smile faded, replaced with a pained expression.

“I’ll leave you two boys alone,” his mother patted Seijuurou. “I’ll bring some juice upstairs okay? Any requests Akashi-kun?” she asked him.

“I have no preferences.” He replied.

She headed to the kitchen, leaving the two alone.

He wished there was a guide on dealing with awkward situations, because it seemed like he often ran into them with Seijuurou. Maybe he should take the initiative and write one.

“I would, like to speak to you in private.” Said Seijuurou, hands grasping the bag in his hand.

Kouki nodded. “We can head up to my room.” He replied and turned his back to him, heading upstairs. Thankfully, he had cleaned his room after his parents’ incessant urging. Since they were on a bit of a vacation too, they were both confused on what to do with so much time. Which meant the house was cleaned every chance they got slightly bored. This, was often.

The stairs were creaking at every step. Was that weird? Did that always happen? His toenail was getting longer. And, the paint was chipping at little at the corner of the door to his room. Was that always there? His door knob’s copper painting was thinning too, strange. Something had to be done. Could something be done? Should they call in a painter? Maybe his parents had a point with all the-

“Furihata.”

Kouki startled. Right, he was staring at a door knob for two minutes. He mumbled a quick, half-hearted apology and opened the door. He stood by it and slowly closed it, letting Seijuurou enter first, the boy made his way in painfully slow, taking in his frankly, average room. There wasn’t much to look at. Some band posters, a table that was always a bit cluttered, and a tiny shelf with an assortment of books that were arranged with no order.

“I am sorry if the visit was abrupt.” Said Seijuurou, turning to Kouki.

Sure. That was the problem.

“How’d you get my address?” asked Kouki. He had mentioned it off-handedly sometimes, but he doubted it would have been enough to get him to an exact location.

“Kuroko gave it to me, and helped me come here.”

“Kuroko’s here?”

“No, he left after helping me here.”

Okay, the conversation was sort of going, he could find something else to talk about. Something that wasn’t their previous squabble.

“I….” began Seijuurou. “It seems like I do this often with you.” He looked to the side. Seijuurou always made direct eye contact. It was just one of those things about him Kouki had learned to get used to. Unnerving at first, but slowly he had gotten used to it. His eyes being one of the prettiest colours he had ever seen really helped with it

He continued. “The word may lose its’ meaning with constant repetition, but I apologize for my actions earlier today morning. I was frustrated with something else and took it out on you.”

That, was quick. Kouki expected at least another two days for it to blow over.

‘He’s fast!’

“In apology,” he handed the bag, which Kouki took carefully. “I prepared some _Yudofu_.”

‘Am I hearing this right?’

Kouki looked into the bag, and there it was, a little tiffin box. He looked to Seijuurou. “You made this?”

Seijuurou had yet to try and look into his eyes, choosing to look at the study table on the side. “You have not tasted it yet, nor have you seen it.”

The brunet smiled. “Apology accepted, now sit down and we can try some.” He said and went to get some chopsticks. Kouki had expected something easy, a text message or a phone call. Or maybe, some chance meeting where he would apologize. He didn’t expect for the boy to come to his house and give him the food he made.

Kouki hoped that the apartment was intact, given Seijuurou’s track record when it came to cooking. About four days ago, when making Ramen, he had almost burnt the notebook he used to take notes, having placed it near the stove. Thankfully, it was put out quickly.

Kouki rushed back upstairs and he opened the dish.

It was…

“Oh no.” Seijuurou said, examining the…..food? “The smiley face is gone.”

What the fuck.

His chest, it did a thing. A thing he’s felt before but he couldn’t really place it. It had skipped a beat, there was rush of euphoria. All this for a dish where Seijuurou somehow managed to give the tofu a blue hue.

“It is…not good.” Said Seijuurou, interlocking his hands, and if he was not mistaken, he was fiddling with them. Kouki was an expert in all things awkward and he knew it when a boy was going through it.

“It’s perfect.”

Seijuurou scoffed. “You do not need to lie.”

He took a bit of the dish and chewed. Kouki did not understand what the taste was, but it certainly wasn’t pleasant. He smiled. “It’s perfect!”

The red-head looked down. “Please, you do not need to do this.”

Kouki swallowed it down. Man he really needed some water and milk to get rid of that taste. It could wait. “If I’m telling you that it’s perfect, so it is. You added the most important stuff too,” He said. “Really shone through.”

Seijuurou finally looked up, lips tugged upwards.

“You got the happiness in.” Kouki took another bite. “More than the required amount but there really isn’t a limit for this one.” There was no doubt he would be going to the doctor tomorrow. He could taste plastic. How did that even make it in?

Kouki continued, swallowing down the next bite. “Hope whatever you’re dealing with got better.”

Tiny sniffles, barely audible echoed through the tiny space between them on the bed.

Clearly, it had not gotten better.

Kouki looked up from the dish in his hand and found Seijuurou’s face reddening, along with his nose. His eyes shone, glistening with tears that were threatening to spill over.

‘WHAT THE HECK DID I DO!?!?!’

Setting the dish aside, he tried to figure out a game plan.

Comfort! That’s the first thing, and discern the situation. Whenever Kouki cried, he had always preferred it when he wasn’t asked many ‘why’ questions. Just the presence of someone was enough. It was embarrassing enough to be so weak in front of someone else, but having them pester him for answers when he could barely articulate always made him cry harder.

He moved closer to him, placing a hand on Seijuurou’s shoulder. “H-hey? You okay? Would you like to talk about it?”

It was so clear in his voice that he was panicking but he could panic later. Right now, Seijuurou needed support. He kneeled in front of him, gently patting him. “It’s okay. It’ll be fine.” He said, trying to make his voice something akin to what his brother did when Kouki got really, seriously upset. His voice was low, calm, steady. Not too quiet, not too loud.

“I’m here.” He said and Seijuurou began to cry, tears like jewels, and he should not be finding it pretty, but it was, and that was the worst kind of thinking ever. But he also looked so…human.

‘Gosh I’m the worst! Human? Really?’

Seijuurou never looked dishevelled, even when playing basketball, when everyone was soaking in sweat, hair plastered to their necks and foreheads, looking close to death, he looked unhindered. In the kitchen too, he messed up, but never showed distinct outward reactions.

He could count on his hand how many times he showed such an intense display. Once, at Winter Cup, and the second, with Jabberwock. Both with basketball, both in front of others. The second time, was much more discreet, one would not catch it if they didn’t know him.

But this time, it was just the two of them. Kouki could feel his shoulders that seemed squared and steady every time, trembling underneath his fingers. It felt like he was holding a porcelain vase in an earthquake. He wanted to make it better, help him feel safer, less…like this.

Seijuurou’s shoulders shook more, his face hidden behind his hand, trying to will away the tears but they seemed to keep pouring. He had a solution, but he really doubted Seijuurou would be okay.

Something had to be done though, and it seemed like Seijuurou was only getting worse.

Kouki scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Seijuurou’s trembling figure, pulling him close to his chest. This was probably a one-way ticket to getting killed because for all he knew, this could be making things worse. Often, hugs helped, especially ones from friends and family. Hugs were great. But there were a select few who abhorred physical contact and Seijuurou seemed like he would be the type.

He was quickly proven wrong.

Seijuurou pulled closer.

Kouki felt like a furnace.

The red head continued to sob into his shoulder. It was like he was holding a completely different person, someone whom he never knew. Because Akashi Seijuurou probably never let himself be so weak and vulnerable.

But in the end, through all the polished exterior, was still a boy the same age as him, with his own set of insecurities. The word ‘insecure’ was the last thing he would use to describe Seijuurou, it still was.

If this was one of those few times Seijuurou let himself be a sixteen-year old boy, then Kouki will do his damn hardest to give him the best place to be just that.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to know exactly how long this fic is going to be........  
> I have written a little over 20 chapters(including the published ones) on my laptop, and that's the half-way point(approximately).   
> So to those who love LONG LONG LONG fics.....here's this! ahahaha

Seijuurou could barely breathe, hiccupping at every inhale. He had tasted the dish, but it seemed like he could never get it right. Tetsuya had found him in the kitchen, and just packed whatever he had made. Tetsuya was too kind, saying that it was the thought that counted. Before they placed the lid, Seijuurou used some of the garnish to draw a smiley face.

The container was jostled during their travel, and it had mixed in with the soup. None of its traces remained.

_“It’s perfect!”_

The dish was made so poorly.

_“It had the most important ingredient.”_

Yet he ate it, called it perfect. It tasted horrendous.

_“If I say it’s perfect, then it is.”_

Seijuurou held him closer, hiding his face in the nook of Kouki’s neck. Kouki smelled the same as his home; cosy, comfortable and warm. There was a softness in this place. Like the material of the shirt underneath his fingertips, like the bed that had crinkles in the sheets. The house that seemed a little small, yet brimming with life.

Footwear of all kinds, sneakers, heels and loafers, haphazardly placed in the shoe stand. The pink and orange curtains that hung side by side on the different windows, clearly of different patterns. The couch that was a little worn down with use, with pillows of unlike shapes positioned with little care.

Even Kouki’s room, that was so small yet so pleasantly welcoming. Mismatched sheets and pillow covers, the table with highlighters and pens littered atop open and closed notebooks. There was a train set. Multiple photos of Tokyo and its trains were plastered onto the walls. It felt so, different.

A place where perfection was never the goal.

A place to simply be oneself, in all of ones’ mismatched glory.

It was something he doubted he could ever do. Seijuurou could only hope to hold Kouki tighter and believe that some of this comfort would sink into his being and hold him up like a spider’s thread. Even though he knew such a place was never his to have, he so badly wanted this.

Stepping into Kouki’s home, he had realized just how dead his apartment was. The same applied to the estate and the mansion. They had flower gardens that extended as far as the eye could see, the floors were carpeted with the finest material, and the ceilings were often decorated with care. The floor was polished enough to reflect everything.

It was so empty.

What would his father think of a place such as this? Maybe, a piece of this is what he needed to see the truth. Marble statues and imported cutlery could not replace what they lost. No object could ever bring back the ambience his mother graced the mansion with.

Seijuurou pulled back and hoped that the tears and the snot were not dripping down his face though he could feel it all. His eyes felt tired. Kouki squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll get some tissues.”

Kouki walked to his table and brought the tissue box, handing it to Seijuurou. The red-head wiped at his face, his fingers were uncooperative, and he let the tissues just dab on the general of area of his face.

“Do you need some water?” asked Kouki.

Afraid that his voice would betray him, Seijuurou nodded in response. The boy rushed out and closed the door behind him. Kouki was so cruel, to have given him something he never even knew he needed. Soon, it would be pulled out of his grasp. Kouki would never intentionally hurt him, his hands would be held with tender warmth, and this newly-discovered piece of comfort would slowly be pulled out of his hand, with gentle words and a gentler touch. He would be told that it was just for him to borrow. That he could not have it. No he could not buy it either. Silly.

The door opened and Kouki returned with a tray of juice and snacks. He placed the tray on the floor, and Seijuurou slid down from the bed to sit next to him. The cups were just like the house. The one Kouki handed to him was larger, made of glass, with patterned designs on them. Possibly a coffee mug of some sorts. Kouki’s was a plastic cup.

“I won’t ask,” Began Kouki, sitting next to him with his legs folded. “I won’t ask about anything, unless you want to talk. This, today morning, everything.”

He let those words sink in. Seijuurou wanted to give at least, a little bit of an explanation. Not out of obligation. Everything in him felt loose, like an unwound string, there was no tension to speak of. His posture was abysmal, since he was leaning against the bed. One of his leg was folded, while the other lay straight.

This was nice.

“You know of my…other self…correct?” asked Seijuurou. His voice was unbelievably hoarse, like sandpaper.

Kouki nodded.

“He disappeared, after Jabberwock.”

For some reason, he did not care for Kouki’s reaction. He could do whatever he wished.

“But I have depended on him for so long, I do not know how to be on my own.” Continued Seijuurou.

At this, Seijuurou turned to Kouki, whose expression was as easily readable as ever. Concern.

“It is my issue to deal with, I will find a way.” Seijuurou sipped from the cup. Mango juice, it seemed like his mother had made it.

“Why were you so angry back there?” asked Kouki. “Did I….do something?”

Seijuurou really did not know why his anger heightened so much, but recently, his emotions were running wild, he did not know how to cope with anything. “I wanted to be alone. Everything felt too much, and presenting myself like this,” he was seated on the floor with snot dripping from his nose. “I knew it would have been much worse in front of them.

“I was their leader, and I cannot falter, or let at least, I cannot let them see me so.”

Kouki’s lips parted, like he was figuring out how to make words and use his voice to craft the syllables. “You, can’t cook right?”

What was he going for? Seijuurou indulged. “I have made it blatantly clear have I not?” he pointed to the container with the _yudofu_ , which had now found a place beside Kouki on the floor.

“That-no- its,” he groaned and ruffled his hair. “You had a problem…Right, that’s the thing, a problem. Correct? And you asked for help.”

Seijuurou placed the cup on the floor. “They are different.”

The brunet’s hair was sticking out in strange directions. “True, yeah, but, the point is, you can ask for help. I’m always open to help you.”

“I cannot even begin to understand the problem, I doubt you could help me when neither of us know the issue.”

Kouki tilted his head. “You can’t think of any place to start? Like right now, that was you reaching out. And I’ll be there, just like now.”

The red head looked at the decorated walls and comfortable imperfection. “I want this.” He vaguely gestured to the room.

“What?”

“I do not want to go back...” He said. All the weight of the world doubled down on him. Was it strange to ask of this, for a little longer? To savour this as much as he could? A gamble.

Kouki lips painted into a smile, wide and beautiful, filled with relief. He clasped at Seijuurou’s hands, which were still holding the tissue, and announced. “Stay with me tonight!”

The door to the room opened. The two whipped around to see, Kouki was still holding his hand, and was kneeled in front of him, a little close.

At the door was a boy who resembled Kouki heavily, but his hair was trimmed shorter, and his eyes were not as large. “I’m…going to pretend I didn’t hear or see that.”

“Kouta!” Kouki called, marching over to his brother “What the fuck do you mean by that!?”

‘Kouta’ stood tall at the doorway, a teasing smile on his face. “It’s fine, but man, doing it here?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, you’re looking into shit that means nothing.”

Seijuurou knew this was sibling banter with little to no logic, but he played along. “Did the offer truly mean nothing to you?” he asked. Kouki believed Seijuurou was inept in such things, and he was for the most part, but conversing with his team and the Generation of Miracles, who constantly threw around innuendos, he learnt a little.

Kouki looked between the two, confused. “I-no! I meant it, it’s not like that!”

The older of the duo laughed. “I’m going to leave you two to continue.” He leaned from the door to see Seijuurou. “Nice to meet you…?”

“Akashi Seijuurou. Nice to meet you too.” He greeted. Kouta clapped his hands, and pointed to him. “Oh, the one with the cutesy text style. Anyways,” He picked up a set of sketches from Kouki’s table. “Got what I came for, I’ll leave you two. Bye!” he closed the door.

Kouki leaned against the door, arms folded. “I meant it when I said you could stay. A sleepover!” he announced, enthusiastic.

He had never been to a sleepover.

“I do not have any clothes,” he decided to say instead. As much as the idea of a typical sleepover excited him, it was not feasible. “Your family were not informed beforehand.”

Kouki shrugged and sat beside him. “It happens often enough with Kawahara. I think mom’s going to enjoy having something to do for a day.”

“I do not have any toiletries either.”

“We can buy some?” said Kouki. “Unless you’re not comfortable with staying over.”

Seijuurou knew taking such a hasty decision was ill-advised. He did not want to impose on Kouki’s family. But there was a nagging itch in his mind, insisting that he take up the offer. This opportunity would probably never present itself so naturally ever again. Kouki would not have the confidence to ask, and Seijuurou would never bring it up. Additionally, he did not want to return to that empty apartment

Nothing was truly stopping him.

“Then, I apologize for imposing.” Said Seijuurou, and felt a sense of relief.

Was it rational to be so overjoyed for something as simple as this?

“Great!” Kouki exclaimed. “Want to tag along to the convenient store? Or you want to stay here?”

Seijuurou stood up, discarding the tissues papers in his hand. “I would love to’.” He replied. Kouki nodded. “Well then, first we’ll find you some nice comfy clothes.”

The brunet walked past him to his cupboard, his hand stilled at the handle. He was spacing out again, from what Seijuurou could tell, he seemed to do it often. Was this what he was like when in the comfort of his home?

Strange.

“Furihata?” called Seijuurou.

The brunet turned around, smiling sheepishly, his eyes scrunched. That also seemed to be something he did often.

“Uhhh…can you, turn around?”

“Why?” he was acting rather strangely.

The wardrobe door budged and something seemed to fall out and Kouki immediately went up against it. “It’s a mess.”

Seijuurou could feel his lips melt unwittingly into a smile. “I am no one to judge.”

A blush coloured Kouki’s cheeks and Seijuurou decided that though it would be entertaining to see the mess of the boy who taught him how to fold his clothes, it could be pushing it a little. It could wait another day.

…Would there be another day?

Did he want something like this to happen again?

Kouki moved away from the closet door and a few clothes fell out, and he decided that maybe, he really did want to do this again if it meant seeing Kouki scramble to push his clothes back in.

Which, he was currently failing at.

“I will be out then.” Said Seijuurou, but Kouki halted him. “Might as well just look through it and pick what you like.” He replied.

Seijuurou nodded and Kouki pulled out some of his clothes. He went for a pair of black shorts and a brown shirt. Literally everything else he had clashed too much with his hair, and Kouki’s barely hidden snickers when he wore a bright orange shirt was not very reassuring.

He looked at himself in the mirror and he looked, very out of place in the new clothes. It was little tighter on his shoulder, but for the most part they fit perfectly. Yet, it was strange seeing himself in such an attire.

It was not that it was bad.

Simply that-

“You look so...dressed down?” said Kouki. “I think the whole dress shirt and coat thing works better. I’ll try to look for something.”

The red head looked at himself in the mirror and understood what was off. He looked normal. For once he was not wearing designer or fitted clothes that were carefully arranged for the occasion. Grocery shopping did not call for much grandeur.

“No. This is fine.” Replied Seijuurou. “Let’s go.”

So they did, informing Kouki’s mother of his stay. She looked away from the television screen and at the two of them. “Kouki, you didn’t even introduce him!”

The brunet pulled at a strand of his hair. “Uhm, sorry, about that,” he pointed to Seijuurou. “Well this is Akashi Seijuurou, he’s from the Rakuzan Basketball team.”

His mother exclaimed. “So this is the boy you’re teaching how to cook! He was so nervous about your team,” she chuckled. “All of the team were, and I always told him that it wasn’t such a big deal. Look at you now, you’re friends!”

“He spoke of the team?” asked Seijuurou.

“He spoke of the team captain a lot.” Said the woman, getting up from the couch. “And you, of course. Thank goodness he’s not just holed up in his room this vacation.”

“Mom….” Groaned Kouki. “I’m going!” said he, and held Seijuurou’s hand, pulling him to the door. “We’ll be back in a bit!” yelled Kouki and they headed out.

“Does she not know I am captain?” asked the red head when the heated asphalt air hit them.

“Uh, about that.” he looked to the curb outside the house, eyes affixed to the ground. “Don’t take this the wrong way, and it was just, a-“

Seijuurou halted and pulled the boy back. They were still holding hands, and it wasn’t difficult to stop Kouki. This was him hiding something, making excuses.

“What is it?”

Kouki’s lips quivered. “I shit-talked- I mean, talked a lot of, wrong things about you, after the match. Because-I just, was scared. And, I panic, really easily and it’s just- it’s not a big deal but stuff happened and she, she’s overprotective.” The boy shrugged and his hands were growing sweaty. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean it and she always thinks I’m easy to fool.”

“Stop.” Said Seijuurou. “I understand that she finds me unpleasant based on the stories you have told her?”

“I’m really, really sorry.”

His grip on Kouki’s hand loosened, but he did not let go. He had a mother who cared for him to that extent, to hold so much love, that she antagonized a boy she knew nothing of. Kouki worried at his lip, thin brows pulled close. This boy, was loved. In the simple, obvious sense of the word, where there was no pain or sadness. No struggle or strife. He was loved and protected by his family.

“Once we return,” began Seijuurou. “I will inform her.”

“That’s-that’s not up to you to decide!”

Seijuurou replied “And why not? After all, it is about myself.”

“I don’t, want her to think that you’re mean.”

“I was. Now I have changed. Whatever concern your mother has will be put to rest.” He held Kouki’s hand tighter and walked forward, Kouki trailing behind. “Come now, we have things to buy.”

“Akashi?”

“Yes?”

“That’s the wrong way. The store is to the left.”

Seijuurou halted. “Of course. I assumed, perhaps, there must be a shorter route.”

He felt his hair get dishevelled, Kouki was ruffling it with his other hand. “Just say you don’t know.” He laughed and led them to the store.

The place was small and smelled of plastic bags and stale fruit. Seijuurou could not precisely describe it, but it was extremely hard to ignore. They obtained their intended items, and Seijuurou headed to the counter. Before they could give it to the clearly disinterested cashier, Kouki stopped them at the frozen items aisle.

“Want a popsicle?” asked Kouki.

Memories of middle-school, when his team mates bought him popsicles resurfaced. He had missed it. Though he was drowning underneath work, they had always visited him to present him with the treat.

“I suppose it would not hurt.” He replied. 

Kouki’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Great!” He opened the freezer door and inspected the items. “Any flavour you like?”

“Strawberry.”

Kouki sniggered and Seijuurou had to ask why.

“Nothing, it’s just, you are really sticking with the colour scheme.”

Colour scheme? “Is this in reference to my hair?”

“Yep,” he moved close, two popsicles in hand. “Your eyes too. And half your clothes. There’s red everywhere.”

Seijuurou folded his arms. “It is not as often as you make it seem. Red is difficult to coordinate with.”

“At least it’s not green.” Shrugged Kouki, Seijuurou chuckled, feeling sorry for Shintarou and his unfortunate situation with the team uniform.

Takao Kazunari was accurate in his comments that he looked like a carrot. Everyone had noticed, but none were willing to say it. Certainly not Seijuurou himself. They made their way back, and some of the iced treat had melted, running down his arm.

“I’m home!” said Kouki and took off his shoes. His mother replied in kind. She was still seated on the couch, watching a television show he knew nothing off. The music was tacky at best, and it seemed to be a drama. Whichever scene he caught, they were crying. He cleaned his hand in the kitchen of the melted Popsicle.

Kouki had went upstairs, to get back the tray he had brought in the juice with.

From the kitchen, he could catch sight of her, enraptured by the show on-screen. Courage swelled in him. It was just Kouki’s mother. Surely, it could not have been that bad. Still, Kouki was uncomfortable with speaking of him. He needed to resolve it quickly.

After all, dragging things out would only cause problems.

Seijuurou approached her. “May I have a seat?” he asked.

“Of course,” she patted at the space next to her. He planned on sitting farther away. 

“So how long have you known each other?” she asked, as the cushion dipped with his weight.

“Approximately two months.” He replied.

“He’s been talking about you for way longer though.” She smiled. “Ki-chan’s very bad at secrets and lying. I could tell you and the ‘team captain’ were the same person.”

Seijuurou paused. This was not the conversation he prepared for, but improvisation was his forte.

“He informed me that you do not view me in the most pleasant light, but that is understandable. I wish to fix my errors, and Furihata-kun has given me a chance.”

She leaned back into the couch and switched the television channel. “You’re all kids and kids say and do things they don’t mean. Heck, adults do too. And I don’t want to assume, but it seems like you’re having a hard time. Living alone and all. He helps you out right?”

Seijuurou shifted in his seat, everything felt uncomfortable, like the positioning of the world was just a centimetre off, making even the most familiar of things alien.

“Yes. I am very thankful for his help, even though our beginnings were tumultuous.”

She looked to him, her greying brown hair was pulled in a loose ponytail, and her face that began to wrinkle held warmth like a hearth on the coldest of nights.

“He’s a nice kid.” She said. “Too nice sometimes, a little gullible. People take advantage of that, the world is cruel isn’t it?” Placing the remote away, she asked. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

This, was a threat. It came in the form of a wall of pretence he would never be able to look past, but he knew a threat when he heard one.

“Yes ma’am.” He said and gulped.

There were always levels to fear. It was a spectrum, muddling with a multitude of other emotions and rearing its ugly head in a new form with every threatening situation. Seijuurou thought he was aware of fear in all its forms, but this, was something new.

Practically speaking, she would not be able to do anything to him if he did harm Kouki in some way (which he never would), but, dread sank in like an anchor at the idea of angering this woman.

“Good,” she smiled, any hostility vanishing into thin air. “Hope you have a fun stay!”

Kouki walked in with the tray. “Want to head up?” he asked.

Seijuurou nodded and began to go up the stairs. The chills from that living room disappeared when he entered Kouki’s room. Was this what love led people to? He could not help but be envious. Seijuurou knew with certainty that his own mother would have been the same. Her words would have been enough to scare away anything that dared to harm him.

Power came in so many forms.

The door clicked open and Kouki entered. “I really have no plans.” Shrugged Kouki. “You want to do something?”

Anything that he wanted, it could not be done in Kouki’s home, or even in Tokyo. There were restrictions in that mansion, but he found a way to ensure that everything he did revolved around the rules set.

Very rarely did he feel the urge to explore something outside of the walls built by his father.

It did happen though, once or twice.

“I have a request.” Said Seijuurou. The brunet beamed and sat beside him on the bed. “What is it?”

. . .

“You know, when you said you wanted to watch a movie, this was the last thing on my mind.”

“And why is that?”

“It’s ‘Spiderman’! And the Toby Maguire version too!”

“Do you not like it?”

Kouki fumbled beside him. “No- I mean, I grew up with it, so, he’s my favourite too.”

Seijuurou looked to the Spiderman poster at a corner, surrounded by pictures of trains and train stations. “I could see that, literally.” He replied.

Smiling, Kouki relaxed. “I guess, I just expected some really artsy stuff. You know? A French Black-and-White film or something.”

“Would you like to?”

“I…think so?” he said. “Never tried to watch any.”

“Perhaps, the next time you come over, I could introduce you to _La Nouvella Vague_ ” said Seijuurou, eyes on the laptop screen in front of them. They were seated on the floor, pillows surrounding them, and they each had a blanket.

“Uhm, okay? But I don’t think I’ll really get it. I don’t know English that well, and I don’t know anything in French.”

Seijuurou replied. “It isn’t complex. I have a film in mind that we can start with. The subtitles are not completely accurate at times, but I will help you understand, of course.”

“When though?” asked Kouki.

“The next time you teach a recipe. We can watch the film afterwards over a meal.” Replied Seijuurou.

“Sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Furi's mom will not stand for her baby being bullied! I like to believe his mom and bro dote on Furi a lot. But his dad is chill asf, go-wth-the-flow kinda guy.
> 
> Also, you guys must have noticed, but akashi, is a LITTLE OOC.   
> This is mostly because of :
> 
> a)his recent integration with his brother
> 
> b)DID is not just alters, it's caused by extensive trauma. After integration, 'problems' don't get 'solved'. It's accompanied by a lot of other difficulties as well. Integration means remembering things that your alter experienced, dealing with two alters combining, and a lot of other things. It's a LOT of emotional distress that he's dealing with w/out any professional help(or any sort of help). Tbh, he's taking it like a champ rn. 
> 
> c) he has no one to properly lean on, still doesn't. Furi's a temporary crutch rn. His dad basically took out his support, he's alone, and he's even unwilling to contact the people he most trusts. It's a lot of shit. 
> 
> Also, he's a kid. Yes, he's a perfect teenager, a gentleman, helps out people and comes first in everything, but I like to believe he has flaws. He should be allowed to have flaws. I want to show a vulnerable Akashi, because even in canon, he's so PERFECT(kid's a local superhero as shown in a Replace extra lol. He saves child from getting hit by a moving truck but doing some crazy back flip jump)!
> 
> ANYWAYS!
> 
> This is, probably one of my longest chapters uploaded so far btw. Hope the surprise updates were good!
> 
> Thank you for reading, I have read every comment and I'm jumping with joy ehehehehe. Thank you for the bookmarks, comments and kudos and hits!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE'S 2100+ HITS AND 179 KUDOS ON THIS OH MY GOOOOOOOOD  
> I-  
> WHAT!?  
> I'm freaking out oh my gosh.   
> THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE <3 <3  
> I hope you're enjoying this(very long) ride.   
> I'm uploading an 'NG Shuu', an extra for the 16th chapter as a bit of a celebration?

A squad of six teenagers stood about thirty-feet away from an extravagant apartment building, bags in hand.

“So this is really happening.” Said Ryouta, pushing back his sunglasses.

“No duh genius.” Replied Daiki.

Satsuki sighed and rubbed at her forehead. “I give up on trying to figure him out.”

Shintarou replied. “Everyone here knows that is a lie.” Satsuki rolled her eyes.

“Can we just go in?” whined Atsushi. “I’m tired.”

“We’ve been here for three minutes.” Said Tetsuya.

“Too long.” He slumped near a wall.

Shintarou pulled up his bag. “Let’s just go in. This is the first time we’ll be experiencing this.”

Daiki chuckled. “You’re just excited for a sleepover.” he pointed to the pink pillow in his hand.

Grumbling, Shintarou replied. “It just so happens to be the lucky item for today.”

“Midorimachhi, you’re adorable.” Said Ryouta.

Tetsuya was shocked when the first thing Seijuurou asked on their group chat was for a sleepover. Atsushi had come to Tokyo to visit family and the stars seemed to have aligned. It was weird, but it was one of those few times they could hang out together. Satsuki’s parents had agreed too. Tetsuya was excited, he couldn’t hide that. It sounded fun. This would be their first sleepover together.

It had not been that long since they met, but that was for a match.

He loved basketball, but sometimes, he just wanted to hang out with them without the competitive tension. It wasn’t hostile, but he liked talking with them about the mundane things as well.

The six of them headed to Seijuurou’s apartment. He welcomed them and they rushed inside, Daiki and Ryouta haphazardly leaving their shoes at the front, much to Satsuki’s chagrin. Atsushi ruffled Seijuurou’s hair and walked in, and Tetsuya was pleasantly surprised to see that the red-head was not frowning at that action. He appeared happy, even though his hair was now a mess.

It seemed like things would be just fine.

“I made tea for all.” Said Seijuurou. “Take a seat.”

Shintarou stiffened as he stood by the couch. Tetsuya could understand. Seijuurou headed to the kitchen and they looked to each other, mostly in fear. Daiki looked like he did not know whether to laugh or to dwell in dread.

None of them got the chance to think too much on their former captain’s cooking skills and the conditions of their stomachs, since Seijuurou walked in with a tray of tea cups and cookies. The cookies looked fine, and the tea too, looked not-poisonous. Better than the tofu disaster. Tetsuya had informed everyone about the situation the day before yesterday, so they were aware of his…could he even call it cooking skills? Seijuurou placed everything and took a seat alongside them.

Satsuki looked at the snacks sceptically, but none of them dared to reject it. Atsushi took the first sip, and they looked to him in expectance. A frown, a grimace, a scowl. Any outward reaction to the drink and its unpleasantness.

There was nothing.

He just took another bite of the cookie and ate like he always did. 

Shinatarou braved the next cup. “Ginger Tea?” he asked. Seijuurou nodded. “I hope it’s enjoyable.”

When the bespectacled boy drank it, Tetsuya prayed for his safety. He too, showed no reaction.

‘No way, is the tea actually good?’ Tetsuya tested some on his own and-

‘Those cooking lessons worked.’

The rest of them continued, after the normal reactions from the first three, Satsuki actually gasped. “Akashi-kun! You did well!” She said, looking at the cup in her hand.

He thanked her and set his cup down. “I understand that you were angered by the fact that I had not informed any of you that I had arrived in Tokyo.” Said Seijuurou. “Kuroko had also told me that I have been growing distant.” He addressed everyone, head hung low.

“It is true,” He continued. “There has been some issue with my father, and I wanted to think upon some matters alone, without interference from anyone.”

Ryouta spoke. “You could’ve just told us that... Maybe, we could help?”

Nodding, the other responded. “I would not dare to place my burdens upon any of you. This is something I must deal with alone.”

Tetsuya noticed that Satsuki had parted her lips, as if to ask what was going on with him, but caught herself. She looked the way she did when analysing things, brows settled, and lips pursed, with her eyes taking on a cold and vacant look. He knew she figured it out, but he truly doubted she would tell. He could make a bit of a guess at what happened.

“Friends are supposed to share their problems.” Said Atsushi. They stared at him for a solid minute, it felt like forever. Tetsuya was in awe. Those words definitely should not have come from him.

“…or that’s what I heard.” He continued. “Team Cap said something like that. Probably.”

Daiki spoke. “You don’t need to tell us if you don’t feel like it, but it’s not a burden if you say stuff.”

“Thank you,” said Seijuurou. “I hope I have not offended anyone with my recent behaviour.”

“Not at all.” Reassured Shintarou.

“You shut up! You knew what was going on.” Said Daiki.

Shintarou glared at him, arms folded, and took a sip from his cup.

Tetsuya would be mad at Seijuurou, since secrets and ignoring things was what made them fall apart, but really, he himself kept a lot of things away from them. It was annoying keeping some things to himself though, especially _this_ particular thing.

“I’ve been hiding some things too.” Said Tetsuya.

If Seijuurou was shocked, it did not show, instead it was replaced with a sense of annoyance. Well, now he understood how all of them felt. Daiki and Ryouta simultaneously gawked at him while Satsuki exclaimed for answers.

“I’m dating Kagami-kun.”

He took a sip of his tea.

A little low on the sweetness but he would make do with the cookie.

“WHAT THE FUCK TETSU-“

“Kagamicchi!?”

“Congrats.”

“This- why? How?”

Satsuki remained speechless.

That’s one group of people he didn’t need to tip-toe around. It was tiring keeping things under the wraps around the Seirin team, since neither of them really wanted it to be out. Relationships within the team was messy, not like there was much opportunity for it to even happen. Their seniors told stories about how Teppei and Riko’s relationship went down. With Juunpei also crushing on their coach, it was a little bit of a disaster. Even if they didn’t want to, their personal feelings interfered with how they played and acted on the court.

It was like a warning story, with Shinji laughing about how he was glad it could never happen again.

So he and Taiga unanimously decided to keep it a secret.

But saying it to this set of friends might not be a problem. Probably.

“Why did this happen?” asked Satsuki.

Seijuurou replied. “I believe it is because they are romantically interested in each other.”

Ryouta intervened. “Not the time Akashicchi.”

“You’re gay?” asked Daiki.

Tetsuya nodded.

Shintarou spoke. “I am glad that you trust us with such important information. But, it’s ill-advised.”

“Why?”

“It’s Kagami.”

He didn’t get it. What was wrong with Taiga?

Shintarou did not seem to want to elaborate, but Daiki and Ryouta had too much to say, which Tetsuya began to block out after about five seconds. He knew they would get used to it quickly.

“Seriously what on earth is going on?” asked Ryouta, rubbing at his forehead. “Why?”

Seijuurou seemed to want to reply but Satsuki stopped him.

“He made me love basketball again.” Said Tetsuya.

That, shut them up.

No further questions were asked.

“Congrats I guess?” said Daiki. “How the fuck are you even supposed to react to things like this?”

“People being gay?” piped in Atsushi.

Daiki folded his arms. “Tetsu dating. No one here’s dated anyone before-“

Hearing this, Ryouta immediately quipped. “Hey! I’ve dated people.”

Rolling his eyes, Daiki replied. “They don’t count.” He looked to Tetsuya. “Well, if he tries shit, call us up and I’ll beat his ass on court.”

“Do you just want an excuse to play with him?” asked Tetsuya. “I can call him if you would like.”

“Tsk. Who’d want to play with that idiot?”

Satsuki had yet to say a word to him, and Tetsuya himself did not want to speak to her so quickly.

She seemed to be taking the news badly, and he couldn’t comprehend why. Out of all of them, she seemed most protective of him, always bringing him water bottles and towels, visiting him even though their schools were far apart. Like a big sister.

Additionally, she was the romantic of the group, always wishing to be in swept away in a romance. Tetsuya could only hope she found a good partner in the near future, she deserved it.

“Now then,” said Seijuurou. “Would anyone else like to share anything else of importance?”

With a firm no from everyone, they proceeded. The red-head had sent in an itinerary with regards to the sleepover plans and timings. They were behind by about half an hour, but none of them actually cared. Even Seijuurou, since he moved along with everything normally.

They were supposed to watch a movie together and the unanimous decision had been to let Seijuurou pick. It _was_ his apartment.

But, even that had been changed at the last minute. They were settled in the couch when it happened.

“Momoi-san, would you like to pick something to watch?”

She wanted to watch ‘Titanic’ and Daiki groaned but they ended up playing it anyways. Tetsuya found that Atsushi had fallen asleep halfway through. Daiki and Ryouta were arguing about every scene while Shintarou pointed out every flaw in the movie. It seemed like the only ones paying attention were Satsuki and Seijuurou.

Tetsuya thought the red-head would hate it, but, he seemed to be listening to Satsuki’s comments in the middle.

It sent his brain whizzing, the movie was subpar, in his opinion and it was more interesting seeing their former captain suddenly interested in one of the most popular romances on the planet (to the point it became a cliché). He noticed they were sitting close together. Usually, Satsuki sat with Daiki or with Tetsuya himself, but now, she was rather far away.

‘Something’s up.’

The non-reaction from them, the sudden closeness, Seijuurou’s out of character interest in movies and specifically catering to Satsuki’s needs.

“Aomine-kun.” He called and the boy turned around from where he was sitting on the floor.

“What?”

“Does Momoi-san like Akashi-kun?”

He stared at him. Ryouta, who was sitting beside Daiki, had heard the question and began to laugh.

“What?” he asked.

“Man you’re an idiot.” Said Daiki and turned to Ryouta. “Want to do the honours?”

The blond nodded and gestured Tetsuya to come closer. “She likes you. Akashicchi’s just helping her with the heartbreak.”

“She likes me?”

Daiki turned back to the television screen. “I give you and your relationship with that Idiot Kagami about five days.”

“We’ve been dating for around four months now.”

Daiki and Ryouta guffawed. 

Regardless, now this was new news. Satsuki had liked him? It seemed like everyone else knew of this too.

Strange.

‘Oh, am I the bad guy here?’

Dating in and of itself was an awkward mess, neither him nor Taiga knew what to do. This was both of their first romantic relationship. Well, a long-term one anyways. Taiga had apparently dated someone in America and it was very short and very weird. The other was the more experienced, yet he was way too shy to actually do anything. Tetsuya had to take initiative most of the time.

Now, others were involved too.

Satsuki looked, withered. He didn’t like seeing her like that.

But he really didn’t know what to do. He was at a loss for words and holy hell things were going to get so, very awkward. He was dreading it already. If she were being obvious, then he had to take responsibility.

‘This, is not what I planned.’

The movie came to a close and Satsuki was crying at ‘My heart Will Go On’ at the credits.

‘No time like the present.’ Thought Tetsuya and got up from his spot to speak with her. This had to be done in private.

“Momoi-san? May I speak with you?”

She looked up and nodded after a pause. Seijuurou smiled reassuringly at her and she followed him outside.

‘WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?’

. . .

“Twenty bucks says she’s going to come out crying harder.” Said Daiki.

“You ass, that’s your childhood friend! And she’s been crushing on him for years now. Give her more credit.” Said Ryouta. “A hundred bucks.”

“It is a decidedly bad day for Taurus.” Said Shintarou.

“Fine! One-fifty.”

“No crying so far.” Said Atsushi, looking at the balcony where the two stood. Their conversation was muffled but Atsushi could lean in from the couch enough to catch a glimpse of them. The balcony was behind the couch near the dining room.

Seijuurou wondered how they could be so insensitive. She was very clearly devastated and none of them seemed to take it seriously.

“I expected better from all of you.” Said Seijuurou. Joking between friends was understandable but in such situations, it was rude to fool around. “Momoi-san is going through a difficult time and you decide to place bets. Evaluate your behaviour.”

They quieted quickly and began to mumble to each other, mostly consisting of Ryouta and Daiki speaking in hushed voices, with Atsushi occasionally reporting to Shintarou. He would be happy they stopped fearing him so much, but it seemed like they gave no heed to his words anymore.

The two subjects of conversation came back from the balcony, and Satsuki looked a little less sad. Which, was wonderful. Tetsuya seemed awkward though, but, with matters such as this, he doubted the strangeness was unavoidable. Even in fiction, romance seemed to always hold some level of peculiarity.

“Are you okay?” asked Seijuurou when Satsuki approached.

She smiled widely. “I will be.” She walked up to Daiki and the two began to settle into a comfortable conversation. There were still traces of sadness, her eyes were reddened and her voice wavered at times, but she was fine.

‘ “I will be”?’ he repeated the words to himself.

The surety with which she had said it. It was as if she was confident of the future with an unparalleled certainty.

It made him wonder where such unfounded assurance came from.

‘I will be fine.’

The future could hold so much. He looked to the group in front of him, seated in his apartment, speaking comfortably and laughing. Seijuurou never believed he could have them back after everything that had happened. Everything seemed so final back then. A closed chapter he would never need to return to.

Yet, there they were.

‘Things will be fine.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroko isn't dense, he's just so GAY that he can't even comprehend that a girl would be interested in him(there is literally no other explanation for him being so oblivious to MOMOI SATSUKI, A GODDESS). 
> 
> Akashi's just dumb when it comes to romance.


	17. 16.5 Extra

The sleepover was a little stagnant after the movie, and Ryouta could not bear to see Momoi so upset. She was really trying to be cheerful, but it was obvious she was not over the pain just yet. It would be cruel to ask of her to move on so fast.

Tetsuya, was even worse. He was barely functioning, and he simply sat at the couch beside Atsushi, and they snacked together in silence.

‘Well, it couldn’t be too bad.’

Tetsuya was eating the potato chip wrapper.

It was time for an intervention. 

“Hey guys!” he called. “Why don’t we play a game?”

“Basketball?” asked Aomine.

“No.”

“Then what else?” he asked with a tone meant to ridicule.

Ryouta sighed. “You…you do know that there’s more games than basketball right?”

Seijuurou raised his hand.

‘Wow, a model student even with friends.’

“Yes Akashicchi?”

“How about Shogi?”

He did not want to be humiliated. “I don’t know the rules, not a lot of us know the game.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Then I’ll teach-“

“Okay! Midorimacchi, any suggestions?”

No, he did not want to learn Shogi from Seijuurou and get his ass handed to him. His fangirls tended to flock Seijuurou too whenever they went out together. He didn’t need his ego bruised any more. 

Shintarou fixed his glasses. “Why don’t we play Truth or Dare?”

‘That’s- that’s not a bad idea.’

“Truth or Dare it is.” Said Ryouta and he gathered all of them to sit on the floor in a circle. He placed a bottle in the centre. “Everyone knows the rules right? Whomever the bottle points to, has to pick between ‘Truth’ or ‘Dare’. Those who can’t finish their challenge gets a penalty which we’ll decide as a group.”

Unbeknownst to Ryouta, Shintarou had been planning this for months. Akashi Seijuurou never lost. Ever. Shintarou had yet to win against him in any game, and though they were friends, he could not sit there and take every defeat gracefully.

It was not just Seijuurou with the ardent and innate drive to win, Shintarou held the same spirit as well. It was probably worse than Seijuurou’s since the bespectacled boy had tasted defeat. And aren’t starving dogs the most vicious?

This game did not rely on luck or any skill. It was utter tomfoolery. After hanging out with the likes of Kazunari, he knew his idiocy would have rubbed off on him.

Seijuurou would never stoop low enough to lose his dignity, and the people around him, they would give the most shameful dares, he was sure of it. At least, Daiki and Atsushi would ensure that they suffer.

Ryouta spun the bottle and it landed on Tetsuya.

“Kurokocchi! Truth or Dare?” asked Ryouta.

“Truth.”

Daiki put a hand over Ryouta’s mouth. “Let me handle this!” he said. “Oi Tetsu, ever used your misdirection to go into the girls’ locker room.”

“No. It’s not for that.” Replied Tetsuya.

“Dai-chan, for once, get your mind out of the gutter.” Said Satsuki.

Shrugging, Daiki replied. “It’s a valid question. I know I would-“

“Okay! Next spin!” said Ryouta, and spun the bottle. It went round and round on the carpeted floor and landed on Atsushi.

“Truth or-“

“Truth.”

Ryouta sighed. “Well, anyone wants to go?” He really didn’t have anything to ask, Atsushi was an open book.

“Ever sneaked into the adult section in the bookstore to get-“

“Anyone other than Aominecchi?”

“No, I haven’t.” replied Atsushi and spun the bottle. It landed on Satsuki.

She looked to the bottle in hesitance, but she quickly gained a chilling composure.

She assessed her options. Picking truth in the current situation would be a risk since the entire ordeal with Tetsuya just happened, and she knew someone like Atsushi or Daiki would ask something insensitive.

Satsuki looked around the room, and she narrowed down some dares they could put forward. Licking items was one of the more popular dares due to how disgusting it was for everyone involved. Physically strenuous dares were also a thing. Satsuki could pull it off, but the boys sitting around her did not know the normal limits of humans, and they would surely ask her to do something extreme. There was also the risk that someone may ask her to do something with Tetsuya.

“Um, Momoicchi?”

“Truth.” Said Satsuki. “I pick Truth.”

“What’s the stupidest thing Aomine-kun has done?” asked Tetsuya. The two stared at each other, the awkwardness intensifying with every second that passed.

“Why are you involving me!?”

Satsuki smiled. Typical Tetsuya, trying to smooth over the situation. He must have noticed her hesitation and therefore, had taken the effort to ease her nerves. Of course, her ‘Tetsu-kun’, who was now someone else’s, would be so caring. That was what she fell for in the first place, his ability to ease people, to take notice of the things no one else did.

Tetsuya thought of none of those things. He panicked and Daiki was often the easiest person to make fun off.

“He got his head stuck in one of those mini basketball hoops for three hours and tried to get it off with a nail cutter.” Said Satsuki.

Atsushi chomped on the chocolate bar in his hand. “That’s a new level of stupid even for you.”

“Shut up.” Grumbled Daiki.

“Just move on to the next.” Said Shintarou and spun the bottle. Lo and behold, it landed on Seijuurou.

‘Today, Cancers rank third, luck is by my side.’

“I pick Truth.” Said the red-head.

“How boring~” said Atsushi. “Everyone’s picking truth.”

“Are you challenging me, Murasakibara?” asked Seijuurou. “Then I choose Dare.”

Atsushi simply continued to eat.

“I’ll ask.” volunteered Shintarou. This was his moment. This was it. Seijuurou would never do this, he knew it!

“Wear a pair of your underwear on your head for the entirety of the game.” Said Shintarou.

Satsuki gasped. “That’s just- How could you!”

Daiki laughed till he was slapping the floor, and occasionally Ryouta.

“Is that all?” asked Seijuurou, getting up.

Shintarou gripped at his pillow. ‘He would not. Would he?’

“I expected more.” Said Seijuurou, heading to his room, a glint in his eye.

‘He knows. He knows of my plans.’

This was a battle between the two of them now. This time, Shintarou wouldn’t lose, he simply would not.

Seijuurou re-emerged, a hoodie over his head.

“But, the challenge was for you to wear your underwear.” Said Shintarou. Had he truly won so easily?

Seijuurou pulled back the hoodie slightly to show a band across his hair. “There were no rules regarding me wearing other clothes on top of it.” He replied and sat back down. “Let the games begin, Shintarou.”

It was at that moment he knew, he would lose in the most dishonourable manner possible. ‘He used my given name.’ Shintarou had every reason to worry.

Seijuurou spun the bottle and it landed on Ryouta.

“My time has come.” Said Daiki.

“Shut up you ruined two already!” replied Ryouta.

“Satsuki, want to cook something?” asked Daiki. Satsuki eyed him quizzically, ready to say no, but he leaned close to her and whispered something in her ear. At this, she sighed and got up. “Akashi-kun? Can you help me? I don’t know where the ingredients are.”

Once they were out of earshot, Daiki spoke. “Eat what she cooks.”

“You are evil, Aomine-kun.” Said Tetsuya.

Atsushi snickered. “If that’s the last thing I ate before I died…” he looked at Ryouta, eyes filled with pity. “I feel bad for you.”

“Rest in peace.” Said Shintarou.

“I hate all of you.” Said Ryouta. “Especially _you_.” He pointed to Daiki.

“We’re done!” came Satsuki’s cheery voice, and Ryouta already knew, that he would die a painful death. ‘Who the hell cooks that fast?’

The two of them carried a large pot of, something, over and placed it in front of Ryouta.

“It was difficult,” began Seijuurou. “But we finished making the curry.”

“THAT’S CURRY!?”

It was solid! It was actually solid somehow, and he could barely find any vegetables. There were some strange colourful spots in the mixture, or gunk, or whatever the hell it was. It looked like drying cement, that was the closest thing he could find to describe it.

“How did you finish making it?” asked Tetsuya, carefully avoiding looking at it.

Seijuurou replied. “We placed it at the highest level on the stove, but it proved useless. Then, we placed it in the oven at the highest degree. It worked.”

Satsuki nodded. “I really didn’t even think of using the oven. It’s not conventional, but it turned out fine.”

“Momoi-san,” began Shintarou. “I do not think it-“

“-It’s great Satsuki.” Interjected Daiki. “Now, Kise, why don’t you try it?”

He gulped. He would die, he would actually end up in the emergency ward if he ate it. This was a gamble on his life.

‘I am too young and pretty to die of _food poisoning_.’

“Is something wrong?” asked Seijuurou.

It was not just Satsuki anymore, it was _him_ too. Closing his eyes, he prayed to any god that would hear and took a spoonful of it. His lips trembled as the spoon neared his mouth. He opened his lips and brought it closer.

“Just eat it.” drawled Atsushi and pushed the spoon into Ryouta’s mouth.

It was.

He couldn’t tell.

He felt the world around him darken, his limbs felt numb and he felt his head hit the ground.

After about ten minutes, he came to again, and felt an itch down his throat, and his stomach burned.

“Okay, he’s alive.” Said Tetsuya. “We may proceed with the game.”

Ryouta saw the rest of them nod and Shintarou spun the bottle.

‘Cruel. You guys are so cruel!’ Thought Ryouta.

The bottle landed on Shintarou. 

“Truth.” Shintarou thought it was safer, obviously.

With an all-knowing smirk, Seijuurou asked. “Who do you have a crush on, specify their name?”

Shintarou froze. This question, how did he know? It was impossible for him to answer this. He just could not. He underestimated their former captain when he really shouldn’t have.

Seijuurou was pleased with himself, the question had the intended effect. When he had entered his room to search for an attire to fulfil the dare, he quickly searched up questions and challenges to put forward on his phone. Most websites suggested that this particular question often riled people up endlessly, and damaged the individual’s resolve enough to reduce their will to play.

“I- I do not, I don’t!” stammered Shintarou, uselessly trying to speak.

Tetsuya sighed. “Do you want me to say it or-“

“Don’t say it!” yelled Shintarou. “Uh, that is.” he fixed his glasses. “There’s obviously nothing to say.” He said with a confidence he should not be having at the moment, since he was doomed.

“Oh, Midorimacchi has a crush?”

“Who’s the unfortunate lady?” asked Daiki.

“The only lady that’s unfortunate is the one that would date you.” Replied Satsuki.

“I- you see-“stuttered Shintarou. “That is-“

“Just say it Midocchin.”

“It’s- It’s a point guard.” Replied Shintarou. “That is all I will say.”

“Their name?”

He could not. Would he truly let himself lose so early? He could not believe himself to be that weak. He could do this, and he will get revenge on the next spin.

‘No, wait, there is a loophole.’

As he spoke the name, he took up the bottle they used, and banged it on the floor, the sound of the shattering glass overpowered his own voice.

“Well played, Shintarou.” Said Seijuurou.

“Y-you guys…” said Ryouta, looking at the floor. “Was it necessary to break the bottle!?”

Seijuurou waved him off. “It’s just a bottle.”

A bottle? Just a bottle?

“You idiot!” he lunged at Shintarou, but Daiki held him back. “That was a 1997 _Ramuna_ Bottle! It was a treasure. How would you know? Do you have any idea what I went through to get it!? They don’t make that design anymore!”

“Eh? Is it that important?” asked Atsushi.

“It’s like a rare flavour Maiubou!” retorted Ryouta. “What would you do if a Cola-Curry Maiubou you bought got crushed?”

“Crush the person who did it.” He eyed Shintarou. The two looked at the culprit, murder in their eyes and grievance in their hearts for the things they lost.

(“Murasakibara-kun, your Maiubou didn’t actually get crushed.”

“You won’t understand Kurokochhin.”)

“I had a crush once.” Said Satsuki, looking to Tetsuya.

“That has nothing to do with this!” Said Daiki, still struggling to hold Ryouta back from actually killing Shintarou.

“Now, now,” said Seijuurou, picking up the broken pieces. “I am sure we can find you a replacement-ow-”

“Akashi-kun…” said Satsuki. “Did you just step on the glass?”

“No, of course not.” He bent down to pick up the shattered glass. “I’m perfectly alright- ow-“

They ended the game to collect the broken pieces and clean the floor. Ryouta was put at ease when Seijuurou said that he will buy him the bottle with Shintarou’s money.

. . .

“Akashi? What happened to your hand?” Kouki eyed Seijuurou’s bandaged fingers and foot.

“There was a small accident yesterday.”

“Weren’t you having a sleepover with Kuroko?”

“Yes. It was fun.” He said, smiling wistfully at his bandaged fingers.

“Seems like you had a good time.” He said. What kind of ‘fun’ involved getting that many bandages? Kouki just sighed, opening the fridge and-

There was nothing inside.

“Did you guys cook yesterday?” asked Kouki.

“Yes. Momoi-san was a little upset and we cooked together to distract her.”

‘Momoi-san!?’

The only other person who could rival Riko in their incompetency in cooking was Momoi Satsuki.

‘No way, it’ll be fine. Akashi can cook decently now.’ His gaze fell on a steel pot. Which was now charred black. He approached closer and looked inside. There were black blobs sticking to the sides and there was a hole at the bottom. It was horrifying to look at and he really did not want to examine it any further.

“We, might need to go shopping again.” Said Kouki. “And we need to throw this.”

He did not know what happened the previous night, and he would sleep peacefully never knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If everyone's wondering what the bottle thing was about with Kise...Kise's hobby is collecting WATER BOTTLES. WATER BOTTLES!! I thought Furi's hobby was weird, but it's actually a pretty common thing in Japan.  
> But water bottles???
> 
> idek.


	18. Chapter 18

“Have you got your tooth brush?”

“Yes, I checked thrice.”

“Toothpaste?”

“Yes.”

“Extra pants?”

“Yes!”

“Extra pairs of underwear-“

“Mom!”

Kouki stood at the door, clutching a small luggage. He had checked his bag for all the required items too many times for him to bother to count. He was tired of it.

“I’ve got everything.” Said Kouki.

“You’ll be gone for a month sweetie, I don’t want you to go there and realize you forgot something.” She replied.

Kouki dug into his pant pockets for his wallet. “Even if I don’t have something, I can just buy it. Soap’s cheap.”

His mother looked at him, eyes squinted with judgement and scrutiny. “Fine,” she conceded. “Call us once you reach okay?”

“Don’t panic so much.” Said his father, chuckling. “He’ll be fine. He went last year too.”

“But that was only for a week!” she glared at him. “How do you not understand that this is way worse?”

He shrugged and smiled at his son in exasperation, and Kouki was grateful that at least his father understood how ridiculous his mom was being.

“Don’t die at sea little bro!” screeched Kouta from the kitchen, who was packing up the snacks he was mandated to take on the trip.

His mother began to panic again.

One day, when the city’s asleep and everything’s quiet, he will kill his brother.

Kouta emerged with the lunch box and Kouki shoved it into his backpack. The team was a sucker for his mother’s Gyoza. Rinnosuke and his own mom were the ones who often made Lemon and Honey for matches. The good ones that were consumable. Not the abomination that Riko made.

Having a female coach was nothing like he dreamt of, and well, those dreams were dead and buried about a week into joining the team. Some of them still held hope that they would get a pretty manager next year, but, after first-year, he gave up hope on any kind of romantic endeavour.

Who needed love anyways? Romance was overrated. He didn’t need a sweetheart at the stand ready with a water bottle cheering him on when he played, and comforting him if they lost. Nope. Unnecessary. Purely optional.

His mother rambled on about the death rates at sea and the dangers of water, and his father seemed to have had enough. He pulled all four of them into a hug. It was awkward and none of them were ready for it so Kouki’s nose had bumped into Kouta’s shoulder but, it was good.

No matter how much he liked to deny it, Kouki knew he would miss them. Additionally, these were some of his last moments with his brother. Going on a training camp instead of spending time with him felt a little wrong, but he would never say it out loud to his gremlin of a sibling. 

Before his mother could start running through the list of essentials again, his father distracted her and loudly bid him goodbye. He quickly opened the door and walked outside, phone in hand. Almost immediately, it beeped with a notification.

Seijuurou sent a picture of the resort their team was staying in with a greeting. Rakuzan had arrived a day early to settle in and Seijuurou had also went along with them. The brunet knew Rakuzan was one of those schools where the richest of kids go, but, a single bedroom for one guy? Kouki felt blessed to have gotten a double-sharing room on this training camp. Usually, they just rented a large room and slept in sleeping bags together.

There were pockets of groups speaking all night long, while others actually tried to sleep. Taiga snored like a locomotive running at full speed. He would know, he researched them on the regular. Juunpei talked in his sleep and Koiichi really loved to roll around and cuddle.

A bad experience at best, torturous at worst. There was the added exhaustion from training too.

But this time, they were given rooms, with separate restrooms and beds. Heaven!

Kouki felt a little petty seeing the singular room, large enough to accommodate another bed, with a huge window showing the coast.

**Me** : Is his highness settled in?

He couldn’t help it.

**_Akashi_** : Yes. It is a little cramped, but the view of the sea more than compensates.

 **Me** : Does his highness require anything else?

 ** _Akashi_** : Your presence would be much appreciated.

 **Me** : Are you seriously not going to be bothered with the “highness” thing?

 ** _Akashi_** : Teasing is ineffective when the subject does not respond in the intended manner. Agitation from my behalf would only satisfy you.

  
**Me** : Fine. I give up. But seriously, cool room!

 ** _Akashi_** : You can visit if you would like to see. The view of the coast really is beautiful.

 **Me** : Sounds neat. I think we’ll reach there in about 2 hours

 ** _Akashi_** : Looking forward to your arrival. We would finally meet as rivals. Do not expect us to take this training camp lightly.

 **Me** : Wouldn’t dream of it ;) I need to get going.  
Just saw the team gathered. I’ll contact later.

 ** _Akashi_** : Goodbye ^_^

Kouki dragged his luggage to the area near the school grounds where the team stood by the bus. Most of the second-years were present and Riko was taking count of everyone that had arrived.

The rest of the team reached in quick succession and they boarded. It was around eight in the morning and everyone was in high spirits, most having completely forgotten about the fact they would be playing with Rakuzan in favour of thinking about the sea.

Ocean, waves, summer, fun. That was definitely the better thing to think about in comparison to whatever Spartan training regimen Riko and her father came up with. Aida Kagetora was more invested in Seirin as of late, especially with this training camp. He was supposed to come in to check on them midway through the schedule and no one was looking forward to it. The last time he was present, Kouki had to run around on the hills for half a day, almost every day. His shoes were unusable by the end of it. They were shredded from all the rocks and branches he tripped over.

This time around, he brought two, branded, and sturdy shoes to make sure his feet won’t get scratched.

It was still a mystery how he had managed to get the underside of his feet scratched. It took a week to heal.

Anyways, lesson learned, no more disasters.

The bus was boisterous with lots of chatter and Juunpei screamed to keep everyone quiet. It wasn’t working in the slightest so he gave up. Kouki decided to look outside. The noise felt a little overwhelming and Koiichi and Hiroshi got the hint. Loud places weren’t his thing.

But he didn’t have the heart to ask them to quiet down. After all, it was just him. So he put on his earphones and looked outside. He felt a little lost, staring outside at the moving city. Quiet was something he really wanted but rarely got. The music blared loudly enough to almost drown out the conversations but he could still hear it if he tried. Distorted and muffled, barely understandable but still.

It was annoyingly persistent.

Even if he wanted to ignore it, he couldn’t.

The strange sharpness to every word said, the pounding laughter, the harsh tones and they were all so stupidly loud.

It just needed to stop.

He shut his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing. Inhale, exhale. Slow and steady. It was easier to get it under control after years of practice. Back in middle school, he never actively tried it until one day, he was panicking too much and his brother swooped in and told him what to do. At that moment, Kouki could only focus on Kouta’s voice. Everything was on autopilot, the world had grown distant.

After that, he took them more seriously and by first-year, he could keep the panic and anxiousness in check to a large extent. Mostly. Sometimes even that didn’t fully help. Winter Cup being one of those times. But that was when even the most confident of them felt fear, it was almost inevitable.

The noises didn’t feel as grating, though it annoyed him still, but hey, the situation was under control. Everyone thankfully kept to themselves, most probably because he had his eyes shut. The bus halted and the noise levels notched up, indicating they had arrived. He pulled out his earphone and Riko’s piercing voice quieted them all.

They took up their baggage and got down. The fresh sea breeze tousled his hair and the smell of the ocean salt filled his lungs. Waves crashed in their regulated tempo against the shore and Kouki took in the view. Their hotel was located very close to the coastline. This time, due to an increased funding, the place actually looked good and the hotel itself would provide food.

Riko and Juunpei handed everyone their room keys and all the pairs moved in. He was rooming with Shun this time, but Hiroshi and Koiichi ended up together.

“The three musketeers have been split.” He complained.

Shun threw an arm around his shoulder. “ _Two_ -ouring as two is always more fun.”

Would he really be able to deal with that for a month?

Koiichi snickered and wished him good luck and the two marched off to their room. Shun bombarded him with more terrible puns. Seventeen. That’s how many puns he made by the time they put their things in the cupboards and opened their luggage. He wanted to cry.

Once everything was settled in, he called his family.

“No mom, I have not drowned yet.” He said before she could ask the question.

The conversation went about as expected, with his mother fussing about sunscreen and how horrible the open sky was. “Get some vitamin D!” she said while cursing the sun. The call ended quickly though, since Kouta called her over for something.

“Stay safe okay?” she said.

Her voice was pitched lower, sounding quieter, unlike the previous proclamations of nearing death.

“I will mom. Don’t worry. I’ll keep you posted okay?”

He heard a smile in her voice when said goodbye.

Once again, the noises grated at his ear. He hated when things got like this, when he focused on some stupid sound and wanted to rip his own throat out and cry simultaneously. It was annoying, and stupid. Most of all, it made no sense.

**Me** : Still open on the offer about me visiting?

 ** _Akashi_** : Of course.

 **Me** : Cool! Can I come over?

 ** _Akashi_** : Yes. I will send the location. I will be waiting at the entrance.

 **Me** : Thank you.

 ** _Akashi_** : You are always welcome.

Seijuurou was quiet. They never spoke in excess, but fell into comfortable silences very often. It was rare for that to happen with a person, and he loved every second of not having to think up things to talk about. If one of them found something intriguing, they laid it out on the table, and if it equally piqued both their interests, they spoke.

Simple, quick, no beating around the bush.

Their conversations were like a still river, rather than the rapids he put up with when speaking with the first-years. It was fun, but after a while, tiresome. Kouki loved them but he had a bit of a limit when it came to interacting with people. Seijuurou seemed to have such limits too. Neither of them felt forced to fill silences, which, was a miracle.

Tetsuya was one other person who got it. 

“Going to the beach?” asked Shun.

“Nah, meeting a friend who’s nearby.” Said Kouki.

“Be back before curfew.” Warned Shun, but it held no real authority. Kouki nodded and headed to the very large, very fancy and very in-your-face hotel that stood a few blocks away from their own building.

He didn’t even need the map that Seijuurou sent.

Looking down at himself, he wondered if he was a little too hasty. He wore ripped jeans and a white shirt. Not exactly the outfit to be worn in five-star hotels with a garden walkway at the entrance, with bushes trimmed so neatly one would have a hard time believing they grew.

Thankfully, he did not have to walk into it alone, since Seijuurou was standing outside. He quickened his steps and they headed in together. The air conditioner chilled the lobby and the place glowed yellow, with rainbow speckles filtered from the glass of the chandeliers (yes, plural). Men and women in suits, with bags in their hands and an entourage at their back moved silently through the place.

The elevator arrived quickly and he marvelled at how large it was. Everything seemed to shine in this building, and he felt scared to even touch the buttons for the floors.

“Wow, this place is,” he looked down, the floor was transparent and he could see the wires move as they elevated higher. “It’s fancy.”

Seijuurou chuckled. “You would find the estate much more impressive.”

It never really properly clicked that Seijuurou was rich. Ever. No matter how many times he saw how lavishly the boy lived.

“What’s your home like?” asked Kouki.

Seijuurou looked at the signs that showed the floors, digits quickly changing into the double digits. His eyes lost their shine, even the reflection of the billion lights illuminating the elevator seemed to miss him. 

“Vacant.” Said the red-head. Kouki wanted to inquire further, the words on his mind, ready to funnel to his tongue, but he kept silent. Seijuurou was tight-lipped, and trying to get answers out of him was a losing game he did not wish to play. For now, whatever this silence was, anything that hid behind it, was not under his jurisdiction to access.

The gentle piano music stopped and the doors parted to show the hallway. Dark green carpets lined with golden patterns at the corners were laid on the floor. Looking at his sneakers, it felt like he had to tip-toe through the place to avoid dirtying the material. Seeing a bellhop walking by with platters of half-eaten food in a cart made things feel almost otherworldly.

Did Seijuurou eat such things on the daily? Kouki felt guilty for subjecting the boy to his own cooking if he experienced such finery regularly.

They reached the room, and it was larger than the pictures he saw. The photo did no justice to the place, and the windows showing the coastline was expansive. He gasped the moment he entered and Seijuurou seemed a little too smug.

“Welcome.” Said the red-head, and Kouki couldn’t help but gawk at all the curtains and the carpeted floor with lights of different colours and a television so thin he feared he would break it if he touched. His feet seemed to be confused, like they didn’t exactly know where to step. The shoes were off the moment the doors opened, and it was all so strange, the softness of the rugs.

“Oh my god.” he trailed as he looked at the leather couch that seemed to recline. There was a fridge, with drinks. He turned to look, and lo and behold, it happened.

“This place is so-aah!” he gasped.

His foot caught onto the television stand. Gravity did its work as he plummeted unceremoniously. Somehow, he had gotten hold of the television top, and now that too, was crashing along with him. Things were too quick to comprehend.

He wouldn’t be able to pay for the thing if it broke!

Eyes shut, he waited for disaster but found nothing of that sort.

The loud thrash of the television and the ache of hitting the floor were no present.

There was, one peculiar thing though

His face was against Seijuurou’s chest, and an arm was wrapped around him. The television was being held up by Seijuurou. The red-head righted the television to its original position and Kouki jumped back.

“Uh, I- that’s, sorry!” he said and bowed. Not even five minutes in the room and he almost put himself in debt. Perfect.

“Accidents happen.” Seijuurou shrugged. “It cannot be helped.”

“Still.” He hesitated.

“Do not worry so much.” Reassured Seijuurou. “How about some tea? This time, neither of us would have to make it.”

Biting at his lip, he suppressed any further comment on the previous fuck-up. “Sure, that’d be great.” He replied and tried to relax.

They sat at the couch, sans any accidents. Seijuurou seemed to not care about the tripping thing, so he decided to put it behind. They talked for a while and things were settling into the calm that he wanted. It was quiet, it was easy.

Maybe he was being ridiculous but he thought he could hear the sea, even when they were so high up. It was perfect.

Until the phone rang.

Seijuurou looked to it and frowned, cutting the call. That wasn’t the end of it though, the calls kept coming in succession and Seijuurou switched it off.

“Is it a wrong number, or something?” asked Kouki, hesitant.

“Yes.” Said Seijuurou, he did not seem to want to elaborate further. “I apologize. What were you saying?”

“About the-“

The phone rang once again, and the red-head cut it without a glance and switched it off.

“You were saying?” he asked, and Kouki could tell the smile was forced.

“Uhm,” he began. “So there’s this-“

The telephone rang and Seijuurou shot out of the seat. Without a word, he took the call.

Kouki did not mean to eavesdrop, but the room was large and echoes bounced off walls. Though his voice was low, the brunet could hear everything.

“-I do not wish to speak of this right now….No. Please do not call if it is in regards to this……No, father, I will be going now.”

He could hear the click of the telephone. Seijuurou’s footsteps resounded as he made his way back. His forehead was crinkled, and he looked restless.

“I, guess I shouldn’t ask,” started Kouki, he felt like he was stepping on landmines. “But what’s up? Is there any trouble with your dad-“

“It is best not to get yourself involved with these matters.” Said Seijuurou.

Kouki gulped. They weren’t strangers anymore, and he clearly seemed annoyed. After a few months of knowing him, Kouki understood that the red-head was tight-lipped.

But they had shared things with each other, and he thought maybe, he could try treading into this new territory.

Steeling his nerves, he asked. “I get it but, it’s clearly bugging you. A lot. You don’t need to tell me everything but, talking about stuff helps.”

Seijuurou did not respond. But he also did not seem to want to stop him.

“Back in middle school,” Kouki continued. “I used to bottle everything up, and it sucked, I don’t even know why I did it.” He stared at the carpeted floor. “There were a lot of times, where I just randomly felt like it was difficult to breathe, and everything felt like it was falling apart and things felt so fucked- I mean, messed up-“ cursing in front of Seijuurou made him feel like he got caught stealing cookies. “Everything felt hopeless. And all I wanted was to hide in a hole somewhere, where nothing mattered and I could sleep, and maybe dream.”

Kouki chuckled. “In those times, it really felt like I could jump into a different world. Stupid, I know, but I really, really wanted to escape. And one time, the difficult breathing thing? It got bad. I started crying. Inhaling and exhaling felt like the most difficult thing on the planet. To be honest I wasn’t even thinking about it.

“Everything in my head was screaming, ‘run’. But I couldn’t” he pulled at the strings at the hem of his shirt. “My legs were not working, my heart was racing. I thought I was going to really travel to a different world. Or die. I don’t know, it was dumb.

“Then my brother got me, and he asked me if that was a first and it sort of was, sort of wasn’t? I cried, and had difficulty breathing, but it never happened at the same time. Mom freaked and we got it checked. Common anxiety symptoms apparently.” Kouki settled back into the cushions and moved closer to the armrest. “Then the counsellor guy gave me breathing exercises.” He paused. “I went for counselling, never talked about it to anyone much to be honest. No one got it. But,”

This, was when it would get intrusive. He truly hoped Seijuurou wouldn’t kick him out. “It really helped. I’m fine now since it wasn’t diagnosed anxiety, the disorder, exactly, and I can deal with it, but going there really helped. So, if you don’t want to talk to me-“

Seijuurou scooted closer and leaned back into the couch, an arm over his eyes. “What are you trying to say?”

The primal urge to just run threatened to amplify but Kouki ignored it. “The point is, asking for help, getting help, even if it seems small, or dumb, or pointless is fine. Talk to people.” He looked to Seijuurou and felt a hiccup. “Or! You know what? You don’t even need to talk to a person, just, record it, vent. Somehow. Don’t keep it with you.”

He turned to look at Kouki, the bangs that had grown now fell over his face. “Is that so?”

Kouki nodded. “Yeah. And it sounds stupid, or useless, but just try it.”

Seijuurou let his hands fall to the side, limp and graceless. “Thank you for sharing. I will keep this in mind.”

If he could scream, Kouki would, because it seemed like things would have gone on a much different route, but Seijuurou did not look averse to his suggestions.

The rest of the visit was a little awkward, but they got around it once Kouki found a video online to show.

So, Seijuurou had troubles with his father. He knew there was probably something wrong with Seijuurou’s family, even before this call. He doubted any parent would let their kid just stay in a completely different city on their own without any sort of help.

For now, he would let it go. He knew Seijuurou’s teammates and the rest of the Generation of Miracles would support him. They probably knew more about the situation too.

He just hoped Seijuurou knew that he had people he could rely on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so a good chunk of furi's experiences are based on my own and what i've seen. I hate hate HATE loud places and whenever i'm in a place that's loud, i get....irrationally emotional? I cry, get angry, feel shit. idk why it happens but it's a thing.  
> The breathing thing too. it's happened a couple of times to me. But it isn't so bad i need to get it diagnosed and stuff. One of my relatives has diagnosed anxiety, so i'm basing furi's experience off of that. 
> 
> tbh i put a lot of my own experiences on him, since, i'm pretty fucking normal. You can pass by me in a crowd and you'll never know, and i sort of had a team i was really attached to the way he is to seirin as well so....yeah.


	19. Chapter 19

Seijuurou had to rise with the sun, since he had to assist the coach with getting the equipment and ensuring that everything was organized.

It would be their first official meeting with Seirin.

Passing every day without being productive was almost painful. Having the weight of accountability on his shoulders felt relieving.

His teammates slowly made their way down to the lobby, each with a duffel bag in hand. Seijuurou went over the number of balls, water bottles, towels and keys on them. He ensured that everyone had their team uniforms and other necessities. Reo took count of the members and Seijuurou looked through the schedule to see what they would be doing that day.

The teams would be meeting at seven, after which each team would have their warm-ups. At nine-thirty, their first practice match would commence and there were hopes of wrapping it up within two hours.

Evaluations and further planning would be held among the coaches and captains for each team individually. After this, there would be some time for the members to interact with each other and mingle with the opposing team. Joint practices would end by twelve and then they would be left to their own devices. He went through the plans multiple times. Seijuurou had it memorized, but looking through it had become ritualistic.

Reo tapped his shoulder and handed a notepad. “Everyone’s here Sei-chan, I told the Coach and we can get going.”

“Are you sure?”

“There’s sixteen of us right now, I know everyone. Trust me when I say everyone’s here.” Said Reo.

Seijuurou looked up at the boy, and relented quickly. The team made their way out and walked towards the courts they rented for practice. Kouki had went back late the previous day. It annoyed him that the boy had taken notice of his father’s persistent calls. He had even given him advice while knowing nothing of the situation. A quick remark on how his counsel was not asked for was on the verge of spilling from his tongue, but he kept quiet. Speaking without restraint had landed him on bad terms with Kouki once already. Therefore he chose to listen. Or at least feign it, but those words had been processed.

That was possibly where he went wrong, since it churned his mind the rest of his visit.

When Kouki left, he looked to the recording application on his phone, his thumb hovering over the red button.

He did not record anything.

The grounds they rented had five different full courts and they were allowed access to the gym facilities as well. The coach suggested that they bring along their school equipment and first aid kit, which their manager had almost forgotten about. Their manager was barely competent, and he would have to search for another the moment second-year began.

Seirin had not yet arrived, but it was expected since Rakuzan had reached early. They would have been earlier if his fellow first-years had been less tardy. They had stayed in line previously, but as of late, the entire team began to lax. It was concerning, but the first-string members had reassured him it was a good sign.

Voices of people chatting and footsteps got louder, indicating Seirin’s presence. Their coach was leading the way along with the captain. Their first-string were next, and towards the end was Kouki and the other first -years. He seemed lost in conversation and was holding onto a dog. The entirety of the team seemed to have forgotten that this was a meeting, not a picnic. Even their coach.

They gathered in a cluster in front of the Rakuzan team that were lined up in rows of four.

The general self-introductions from each team went about and the coaches began to speak with each other.

The rest of them were left to their own devices, the practice match would be held about an hour later after the teams had warmed up. Tetsuya approached Seijuurou, and they greeted each other. Conversation flowed like it always did and they inquired each other of their well-being and that of their respective teams.

“Why have you brought along a dog?” asked Seijuurou, unable to resist. It was a burden to care for such a small thing. A pure distraction. It would hinder the team’s ability to focus on the game.

Tetsuya seemed offended almost. “Nigou is our emotional backbone.”

“You must be joking.”

“No.” he pointed to his team members who were gathered around the dog named ‘Nigou’. It was lying atop of Kouki’s head and their other point guard, Izuki Shun was feeding it.

“I do not understand your ways.” Said Seijuurou, exasperated and amused at the team’s antics.

“I don’t get you guys either.” He eyed the line-up.

“Oh my god is that a puppy?” yelled Reo and there went the formation. Koutarou almost leaped to the dog and the remaining first-years cooed their way over. The only one repulsed was Taiga.

The remainder of the time was spent with everyone taking their turns appeasing the dog and trying to decipher its desires. Seijuurou did not want to approach it. He was perfectly happy sitting by a bench alongside Taiga.

“That dog has everyone under his spell.” Grumbled Taiga.

Seijuurou eyed him, he did not bother to hide his judgement. “Did it personally offend you?”

“Yes- no, not really. He pooped in my shoes. Twice. He keeps putting holes in the new balls too!”

This is exactly what he meant. A dog as a personal pet was a hassle, especially in such an environment. “Then why do you keep him around?”

Taiga jumped back. He looked around and folded his arms. “He’s practically family. Even if I hate his guts. And he’s definitely planning his next bombing, look at that face.”

Nigou was on his back, trying to reach for Koutarou’s hand, eyes wide and wagging his tail.

He would not let himself lose to such a team ever again.

Seirin soon began with their stretches and warm up. The rest of the Rakuzan team returned, still speaking about the dog. He looked at them and they seemed to have gotten the message. Soon, both teams were engrossed in their routines. They went through the motions and finished their sets. After this, they went over their plays and Reo ensured that the first-years were listening properly. They had a tendency to ignore his words, giving the excuse that they had heard it before. Such arrogance costed them a well-deserved victory.

Both teams lined up and bowed. He greeted Junpei and the match began. Seijuurou was not playing, as per the coach’s commands. It was a chance for the first-years from Rakuzan, and the same applied for Seirin.

Their coach had ordered him not to play throughout the match, but he convinced him to otherwise. He could step in during the final quarter alone.

He trusted his teammates to win, but simply sitting and watching was a waste. Taiga and Tetsuya were giving it their all, how could he stand by?

He observed them from the bench, and it was an even match-up so far. Rakuzan was still in the lead and it seemed like his team were holding back a little. He knew he had to pay attention to every player equally, but he could not help but observe Tetsuya and Kouki more closely. Tetsuya was confident in his plays, but Kouki stood in direct opposition to that self-assurance. He hesitated at the very last second in everything he did, which left him open and confused.

The successive failures seemed to have made things worse for him.

Riko raised her hand and Seirin changed players.

Izuki Shun walked onto the court and Koutarou stood up. “Hey, can I get in?” he asked. Seijuurou nodded and they switched with a first year.

The Seirin coach looked tensed, but it seemed to have been a move she was prepared for.

The match resumed and the scales tipped towards Rakuzan’s side even further. Throughout the remaining quarters, Rakuzan were in a solid lead, building up the score difference at a steady pace. Seijuurou took off his blazer and stepped onto the court. Tetsuya smiled. “Decided to join?”

“Would be rude of me not to.”

Kouki was in the final quarter and he seemed worse for wear. This could be easy, but he knew Tetsuya and Taiga would not let it be.

Adrenaline rushing, he began.

Seirin were in a haste to score, and he was being marked by two of the Seirin members. Seijuurou quickly broke past Junpei and received a pass from Koutarou. He moved towards the basket and knew Taiga would be coming in from behind him. Eikichi stood closest to the basket and by the time Taiga reached, he had passed it to Eikichi who scored.

The game went on, and even though he could tell what would happen, there was a thrill to simply moving. The squeak of the sneakers and the unsteady heartbeat of the ball hitting the court, like a livewire, the ground thrummed.

Seirin had switched to defense. He had seen this particular play used before and knew where it was headed. Kouki was marking him, stance low but Seijuurou could easily break past him. He heard that the boy was practicing throughout the vacation, and it showed, but he was clearly not utilising all of it.

“I am a little disappointed.” Said Seijuurou, quickly moving away from him.

The game ended with Rakuzan winning. He congratulated the team for a job well done, though he knew they could have been more vigilant. But he learnt to hold off on the criticism for a while, to let them enjoy the moment. They worked better when in high spirits, and that was achieved when they could bask in the glow of their victory. 

He conversed with Junpei, each of them sharing their opinions on the game. They had gotten much closer after practicing for the match against Jabberwock.

Seijuurou could see Tetsuya from the corner of his eyes, and he did not look pleased.Losing put everyone in a sour mood, but Tetsuya was never one to hold a grudge when the match was clean. Generally, he took loses as lessons.

“Good game.” He said, extending a hand to him. The boy ignored it and stood up from the bench. “Meet me outside.” That was his only remark. Seijuurou followed him to the doors of the gymnasium and they stood beneath the tree standing a few paces away. He was a little apprehensive, the conversation would not be pleasant one based on Tetsuya’s demeanour.

“Why did you say that to Furihata-kun?” he asked.

Straight to the point, he thought, and replied. “It was what I observed.”

“It was in the middle of a game, you didn’t need to have said it.”

“Would you have preferred that I reserved my comments for when the game ended?”

“He froze up after you said it.” Replied Kuroko.

“I doubt it is that bad.” Said Seijuurou. “You and the others have heard worse before, and it helped in your growth.”

“He isn’t us.”

“The same can be said for my team.” The red-head continued. “I have noticed that you, along with the entirety of Seirin tend to coddle him. If you genuinely believe that would help him improve, I will remain silent. Unfortunately for Seirin, I promised a good game for my seniors in their final year. A glorious victory. Hence, our opponents must be strong as well.”

Tetsuya remained silent, unwavering in his stance.

“I am not claiming that your position is wrong. Perhaps, tweaking it should be considered,” said Seijuurou, he looked into Tetsuya’s eyes. “Do not underestimate your own team, it would be the catalyst to your downfall.”

The conversation was a dead-end, any further and Seijuurou knew it would create unnecessary friction, so he returned to the gymnasium.

Kouki looked frustrated, speaking with the Seirin coach. Seijuurou was on the opposite end and he could not hear them over the loud bickering between Eikichi and Reo, but he could decipher that Riko was instructing him on something. The conversation ended and Kouki bowed to her. The brunet turned to Seijuurou and spotted him among the Rakuzan members.

The red head expected a smile, but was met with scrunched brows and a set jaw.

Kouki walked over to him, stride unsteady, he was clearly nervous, but he tried to hide it behind his expression.

“Oh Furihata-kun?” said Reo. “I’ve heard you helped Sei-chan cook!”

“Uhm, hi Reo-nee.” He greeted and bowed. “It was good playing with you.” Reo ruffled his hair and slung an arm around his shoulder. “So Nigou-chan, where is he? What kind of foods does he like?”

“He doesn’t have any preference.” Said Kouki, scratching at his cheek with a tense smile.

“Can I get Nigou some treats tomorrow? He is the cutest thing I’ve laid eyes on in ages! After my loves Astralis and Noctifer of course.” Said Reo, referring to his cats at the dorms.

Kouki gaped. “Oh wow, those are some names.”

“I know right!” Reo tended to get excited at the mention of his cats. “They are my precious babies! You have to see them!”

Seijuurou cleared his throat. “I believe you had something to say Furihata.”

He snapped up at Seijuurou. “Right, about that. I wanted to ask you something.”

Reo had his phone in his hand, but he paused with his ministrations.

The red head nodded and Kouki continued. “Can you help me out?”

“I do not think it is wise to ask me for help when your entire team and your coach are present.

Kouki chuckled awkwardly, tugging at his arm band. “Not in basketball.”

Intrigued, he inquired further. “What else?”

“Chess?” the brunet squeaked out.

Beside him, Reo chuckled. “Are you sure about that? I’ve known this kid for a year and no one has beat him as of yet, not even the chess club.”

Kouki’s lips melted into a lopsided smile. “But that’s expected of Akashi isn’t it?”

“Agreed.” Said Seijuurou. “I will assist you.”

Shrugging, Reo added. “Good luck love, I’ll send you pictures of Ra-Ra and Fa-Fa to cheer you on!” He leaned next to Kouki. “What’s your number?”

“Ra-Ra and Fa-Fa?”

“Astralis and Noctifer’s pet names!” said the older boy.

Seijuurou left them to their devices and felt a stare, he knew it must be Tetsuya. The boy looked impassive, Nigou in his hands. But there was a quirk to his mouth and that was all Seijuurou needed to know that Tetsuya got his point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really don't like this chapter that much, but i didn't know how to re-frame this. 
> 
> The Rakuzan players aren't actually going out of line, Akashi's just hyper aware lol. The 'tardiness', was them assembling a minute late. 
> 
> I kinda hc that all of Seirin tend to be softer to Furi because he gets nervous easily. Kuroko knows how cruel GoM could be(*ahem* OGIWARA *ahem*) though they have changed. It's not that Kuroko thinks they're bad, it's just that normal people would definitely think GoM are fucking weird, and Furi's like, the god of normalcy. So I kinda just thought, Kuroko would be like "Bruh, he already thinks you're weird, don't fucking hit him where it hurts."
> 
> But, Furi isn't that bad anymore. At least in this fic. They've interacted a lot & seen sides of e/o others haven't, so Furi's growing immune to Akashi's honesty, so he doesn't care. Others are just unaware of how much closer these two got. 
> 
> Mibuchi's cats' names are basically the fancy equivalent of 'angel' & 'devil' lmaoooo.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HIT 200 KUDOS OH MY FUCKING GOD.   
> I-  
> I can't- even. I'm malfunctioning. I started this for myself and tbh this is created to satisfy my own dreams for the akafuri ship but to think so many people would take interest.....and leave KUDOS AND COMMENTS AND HIT ON THIS. THANK YOU!
> 
> ALSO GOOD NEWS!  
> I'm at the third to last chapter in my drafts. We are at the 2/3rd point of the story with this chapter folks! The fic will have an estimate of 29-31 chapters in total.
> 
> To celebrate, I think I might do a triple update since I do have it all written out already.   
> Enjoy~

A board lay before Kouki, chequered black and white. Pieces that gleamed gold and silver were arranged onto the board by slender and quick fingers with a practiced ease.

“I’m not that good.” Said Kouki, and Seijuurou took the seat opposing him. “The last time I seriously played was second year in middle school.”

Seijuurou twirled the last piece in his hand, light glinting off the golden rook. “Then I wish you the best.”

Who was he kidding? Kouki knew he would lose. It would be just as bad as basketball. Winning wasn’t his purpose when it came to facing him. Seijuurou set the piece down and they began. He tried his best to put up a fight, but it went down just as expected. In about ten minutes, Seijuurou finished the game.

Wordlessly, the red-head began to reset the pieces. Once it was done, he looked up to the other. “Would you like for me to point out some errors?”

He looked to him quizzically. “W-Wouldn’t that be like helping me?”

“Not in regards to the moves themselves, but in other matters.”

Kouki waited for further explanation but received none.

“Shall we begin?” asked Seijuurou and the brunet nodded, though he was still confused. They restarted the game, and Seijuurou advanced his knight. Kouki started with the pawn farthest from the king and moved it two steps forward.

As the game progressed, his pawns fell quickly, but the knight Seijuurou had moved first was taken down by Kouki’s rook. His king was open, so he moved the bishop to defend it in the next move. Seijuurou’s queen loomed at the corner, and he knew the bishop could protect it. The red-head pulled back the queen and Kouki placed the king one block away from the direct line of the Queen’s possible attack.

“Check mate.” Declared Seijuurou with his next move.

Kouki could feel his mouth part as he looked at the white rook now in front of his king.

“Number one,” said Seijuurou, looking at the board. “Your hesitation leaves you vulnerable. Taking a decision quickly, regardless of the final consequences, would keep you safer than standing with nothing at all.” His hands left the board, and everything was back into its intended place.

“And Second,” he continued, eyes leaving the polished board. “You cannot picture the entire court right now.”

Kouki gasped. “I didn’t tell you that-“

“-That you wished to play chess to better grasp strategy and court vision?” completed Seijuurou, leaning back into the chair. “You underestimate me.” He smiled.

It was just something he came up with on the fly, and he doubted it would help, but it was worth a shot.

“Since, chess is about strategy, and well,” Kouki scratched at his cheek. “Basketball is strategy for Point Guards to an extent, I thought, why, not?”

“I assume it would help you understand strategy, but playing with your teammates and understanding them thoroughly is the only way.” Said Seijuurou.

“Izuki-senpai said he’ll help me with that, but I don’t want to do nothing in my free time.” Kouki replied, pulling his shoulders closer. “I have less than a year to get better, and I want to make sure our _senpais’_ final match is a victory. So I have to be better. As fast as possible,” he squeezed his hands together, hoping the ever-present insecurities did not mingle itself with his voice. “That’s why, that’s why I can’t just sit and do nothing.”

“Would you like for me to be honest?” asked Seijuurou.

Nothing good ever followed such a statement. Kouki tightened his fists underneath the table and hoped that whatever he would say wouldn’t be too horrible. “Yeah. Go ahead.”

“I have looked at the line-up for all the teams and Seirin is at a disadvantage.” Said Seijuurou. Kouki knew that much, everyone did, but he also knew that was not all he had to say. “Your centre, Kiyoshi Teppei, was vital to your plays,” he continued. “He held down the inside while your captain and point guard dealt with the outside. Without Kiyoshi-san, your team is weaker than you were during Winter Cup.

“Additionally, Seirin’s reliance on Kagami and Kuroko is its most exploitable weakness. A handful of teams, specifically those with the Generation of Miracles, can understand Kuroko’s strategies once they observe it long enough. Also, you do not have Izuki-san’s Eagle Eye, hence in our third year, you would be even weaker as a team.

“In conclusion, Seirin’s chances of winning are about twenty percent this Winter Cup, and even lesser in the third year.” Said Seijuurou.

“And your chances?”

“Ninety-seven percent.” Said Seijuurou. “It is not absolute, since the Generation of Miracles are growing at a drastic pace. I do not want to take the chances of ignoring them, though I know my team members will grow much stronger during this time period.”

Kouki took it in. If Seijuurou had to underestimate his own team, then this would be way more difficult. He had known, he looked through the former recordings and tapes of any team he could get to see their odds but having it said to him, it made things real.

“What did you think your chances were during Finals?” asked Kouki.

“A hundred.”

He worried at his lips. “Why are you telling me this?”

“To put things in perspective.” Said Seijuurou.

Then what? His efforts were futile? Was he discouraging him? Why on earth would he even need to discourage him?

“Let’s say, somehow, and this is a hypothesis,” said Kouki. “That I got really good, like Izuki- _senpai_. What are our chances then?”

Seijuurou’s brow quirked, but he entertained him. “It would change drastically, I would have to take many things into consideration.”

“Then that’s enough.” Said Kouki. “I just have to work and improve. Even if it was a fluke, I scored against Rakuzan once. I just need to make it happen again, somehow. I won’t be anywhere near your level, ever, or even half of it. That much I know. But,”

Kouki looked up and hoped he didn’t sound like a fool. “If I could even make a 0.1 difference, then I’ll keep trying. As much as I can. And besides,” he tugged at a strand of his hair. “Cheering from the bench boosts morale, and that really changes stuff. Did you consider that?”

Eyes wide, Seijuurou looked at him, and laughed. “All of this to be on the bench?”

“If it’s what’s best,” he shot up his fist in a victory pose. “Then that’s what I’ll do! Make a new cheer! Learn how to tape everyone’s legs properly!”

Seijuurou continued to laugh. “But I wish to play against you, I would not want all of this to go unused.”

“P-play against me?” asked Kouki. Seijuurou nodded.

Kouki smiled. “Didn’t know you could make jokes.”

“I am serious. Our last official match was-“

“-the way it was.” Said Kouki.

The never brought up their first meeting, it was always awkward. He knew it wasn’t the same Seijuurou that he knew now, but there was just something, clinging, even if he knew he had to let go of it. They were friends now. Still, the thought of directly playing against him always made him freeze. Even during the practice match, everything went blank, and static buzzed in his ear.

‘I don’t think I can ever face this guy, for real.’

“We- We’ll see what coach thinks is best.” Said Kouki and chuckled, averting his eyes to the floor. Seijuurou paused for a second, but nodded.

The atmosphere was tense, even worse than when they had discussed each team’s chances.

“So about the uh,” Kouki began but he did not really plan on what he had to say, he spoke to break the awkwardness that was so rare between them, but leaving this hanging would probably make things so much worse. What was one thing every high school boy was interested in?

“So, girls, are you, dating?”

He wanted fling himself outside the window. Death was guaranteed at the height they were at and that would be so much better than this.

Thankfully, Seijuurou went with it. “No. Why?”

“Just asking, because, you know,” he looked at Seijuurou. He was Student Council President, Captain of the most successful basketball team in their age bracket, ranked number one in every exam, was heir to a business empire and was one of the most handsome guys he ever laid eyes on.

Of course someone like that would be dating!

“I’m sure you’re popular.” Said Kouki.

Seijuurou hummed in agreement, and Kouki couldn’t help but wish for the same. So popular and liked that you can’t even be humble about it because it’s fact. “I am not interested, it seems like a waste of time.” Said the red-head, unfazed.

‘Is this what popular guys are like?’ he screamed in his mind. Kouki couldn’t help but admire how nonchalant he was, like he could not bother to care for all those who loved him because he had better things to do.

“Wow, so cool.”

Seijuurou smiled. “I do not know what’s so cool about that. It is just my truth.”

Burying his head in his hands. “Whoa too cool! Way too cool!” he exclaimed. “So you’ve never even looked at anyone like that?”

“No-“ Seijuurou’s words halted, like he recalled something, and, Kouki thought he was hallucinating, but there was a pink tint to Seijuurou’s cheeks.

The universal indicator for bashfulness! “So there was someone!” said Kouki.

Someone who could make a boy like Seijuurou go stiff. It was obvious they must have been otherworldly, someone just like him. A person who could take Akashi Seijuurou’s heart must be equally beautiful, of the same intellect, and they probably had the same level of achievements under their belt.

“Who is it?” asked Kouki, anticipating the answer. It was not like he would know the girl, but social media was a blessing and Tetsuya probably knew her.

“A trade.” Said Seijuurou. “Tell me something equally mortifying.”

He had already seen him trip in a national game, there really wasn’t anything more embarrassing than that.

“Fine.” He caved. There was an abundance of embarrassing stories in stock. It was not like Seijuurou would know which one was the worst of them. Degree of mortification was subjective after all.

“I’ll tell something too, pinkie promise.” He held up his hand, fingers curled. The other boy looked on in speculation, but linked his hand and they sealed the promise.

“It was in middle school. Within the basketball team.” Said Seijuurou, words sounding like they were the unsteady claps of a knife on a chopping board.

There was only one person. ‘Kuroko has a love rival!?’ he thought. Of course it would be Momoi Satsuki!’ he honed into what he would say next.

“He- No they, were strong, level-headed and they were a fine leader…”

Things stopped.

Kouki could hear none of the other words.

His ears were hollow with a silent ringing, like the remnant echoes of church bells.

Did Seijuurou stutter?

Seijuurou never stuttered.

He was not the type to correct himself. Whatever he said was thought out, measured, evaluated for worth and then spoken. Even his utterances were to meet perfection.

Was it possible?

“ ‘He’?”

The rush of words stopped.

“I made no mention of-“

“- I, uhm, I don’t, I mean!” Words, words, they were such fickle little critters in his mind. He gasped and felt his blunt nails dig into the arm rest. “-That’s, uhm!”

If he heard correctly. No, he was sure he was right.

“Me too.” said Kouki and in the exact breath, shut his mouth with his hands. It was the first time he said it out loud to anyone. He firmly shut his eyes and hoped he would not be judged, that what he caught onto was correct, that this was not the worst mistake he had ever made.

He had never faced it directly. Because he never spoke of it. And even when he did, it was because he was inquired about it incessantly.

The beating in his chest, it was so loud, everything thrummed, and he felt everything. The dripping sweat down his back, the icy pinpricks of wind coming in through open windows, the sting of skin being ripped from his lips and the first taste of iron.

“I uh, I am just, I’m sorry!”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He replied.

“But I, just, out right, asked you, when it’s such a, a…”

“I have no issues with speaking of my sexuality, but I do not mention it since it never comes up in daily conversation, and it is taboo in this society to be attracted to anyone that is of the same gender.” He said, and held Kouki’s hand. “Perhaps it is my fault for assuming that you would judge me, since it did mean I assumed your sexuality.”

Kouki shook his head. “No! I won’t ever judge you! I, I promise! I, I am not, like those- those others. Because I, I am, I-“

“-You are also gay?” asked Seijuurou.

“Bi. Bisexual.”

Everything felt lighter. Gravity seemed pointless. That word. The one he found on the internet when in middle school, the word that seemed just right. An explanation, an identifier. He was not strange. There were people like him. But he had never said it out loud.

“I said it out loud.” mused Kouki.

The red-head nodded. “Yes you did.”

“Oh my god…”

Seijuurou giggled. There were so, so many weird things happening. None of it was processing in his mind. “Now to fully confirm,” said Seijuurou. “It was a boy, and he was very handsome.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he didn’t just sabotage himself.

“So who was it?” asked Kouki. 

“His name is Nijimura Shuuzou” Said Seijuurou. “He was the basketball team captain in Teikou before I was.” He looked to the side, which he never did. Seijuurou always looked right into people’s eyes when speaking.

“Nijimura Shuuzou? I think I have heard of him. To be honest, everyone sort of knew about the Teikou members.” Replied Kouki.

Nodding, Seijuurou continued. “He was strict, ambitious, and dedicated to the game, but kind and warm in his own way.”

“He sounds, amazing. Did you, you know?” started Kouki. “Try to, ask him out” his voice grew quieter with every syllable, but Seijuurou heard the words.

“Of course not. Dating within the team, especially when I was vying for his position, would have been disastrous.” The shyness was gone. “Besides, I do not think he leaned towards dating men.” The chess pieces on the board were being rearranged, and Kouki helped. “I did many absurd things when I was blindly enamoured.”

Kouki chuckled and placed the silver pieces into their positions. “What did you do?”

“You would have to repay in kind.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll spill too.” Said Kouki. He had never spoken about his crushes, the male ones at least, to anyone. But here, he could. It wasn’t embarrassing, it was freeing almost.

The chess board was set. “Nijimura- _senpai_ gave excessive attention to one member,” he replied and sat down. “He was uncouth, tardy, and lazy, disregarded rules and held no passion. Yet, he took up most of Nijimura- _senpai’s_ attention.”

“Who was it?”

“Haizaki Shougo.”

That name.

Fukuda Shogo’s Haizaki Shougo.

“Holy shit- I mean, crap.”

Seijuurou fixed Kouki with a look. “You may curse in front of me, I do not understand why you avoid it.”

“It’s just, you don’t seem like the type, to, I don’t know, appreciate cussing much.” Said Kouki, looking up from the board. “And seriously? Haizaki?”

“Yes. Nijimura- _senpai_ saw himself in Haizaki. _Senpai_ used to be rebellious and was with bad company for a while, but changed his ways. He believed Haizaki would follow the same route as him if he was nudged in the right direction.”

“Your _senpai_ sounds like an angel. I mean, trying to help Haizaki of all people? I heard he’s horrible from Kuroko. He even tried things with Alex-san!”

Shaking his head, he replied. “I wish I could say I am disappointed, but it is expected behaviour. I am done with my part.” Said Seijuurou. “Begin yours.”

“Eh? That’s it?” asked Kouki.

“He moved to America to care for his father.”

“That’s, sad.”

“I have moved on.” Replied Seijuurou.

“You blushed every time I talked about him.”

The red-head folded his arms. “I promise that this will not end well if you inquire further.” It would have been threatening, but Seijuurou was scrunching his brows and he looked like a petulant child. The dissonance between the first time he saw the boy and this image, was too much.

Kouki felt laughter bubble up and did not bother to hide it. “Fine, fine. I won’t ask. So my story…”

Seijuurou nodded.

“So this was first year middle school, and there was this guy, from the football club. He was the same age as me, and he was a junior to my brother. We kind of, crossed paths because of that sometimes. He was an idiot.”

“An idiot?”

“He was like Kagami, sort of, but not really.” He scratched at his chin. “He was a football idiot, smiled all the time. And even when he lost, he smiled and used to say ‘Well, we’ll get em’ next time!’ He played because he loved it and well. It was amazing. His smile.

“Then I walked by his class whenever I could,” Kouki groaned and pulled his knees in. “God I used to go watch him practice. Daily. My brother thought I wanted to join the club.”

“Did you?”

“Hell no.”

“Did you confess?”

Kouki jumped. “Oh no, no, no. He’s the type that had! Had, uh, you know…..perverted stuff…”

“Explicit magazines?” asked Seijuurou. “Aomine made sure we knew of his obsession with a model. It was inescapable.”

The brunet sighed. “That. Yep, he was like that too. And he ended up dating a girl three months after I got to know him so, it was useless.”

“Do not take this seriously,” began Seijuurou. “But this person sounds almost exactly like Aomine.”

“A-Aomine?” asked Kouki. The scary ace of Touou was nothing like his former crush.

“Momoi-san often called him ‘basketball idiot’. Before high school, he used to be exactly like this.”

That was horrifying. He had a type when it came to guys. The happy, smiley, idiots. Those types tended to be straight. “Oh god, does that mean- I don’t even want to think about it.” He could not picture Aomine smiling like that, ever.

“Can we just get back to chess?” asked Kouki. He would rather get defeated a million times than further talk about this.

He got thoroughly defeated the next rounds as well, but he could care less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Furi's bi experience is almost all me ngl. I came out as bi once, and then after that, I just let that information out really quickly and eagerly. Furi like rugged boys lmao. 
> 
> And for those who are actually reading this, well, hi. Furi's type in women is; self-assured, serious, smart, bamf, can and will cut you with no hesitation if messed with.


	21. Chapter 21

In the dark of the night, when the moon shined bright and silvered everything it touched, was when Seijuurou felt control slip. There was something freeing about the inky black skies that daylights did not provide. Eyes wide open, he felt restless.

The urge to say everything, to speak his mind and dump its unorganized mess amplified in these times. When daylight came, this sentiment vanished, leaving him thinking it was a lunatic’s dream.

It came and went, this temporary foolishness, but sleep never did.

Bags formed under his eyes, and even though the dip in his performance had yet to be noticed by others, it irked him that he was waning away.

Once and for all, this had to be put to rest.

Seijuurou slipped out of his bed and took his phone. His hand reached for the night lamp beside him. He sat on the bed, covers thrown away, and pressed record.

How did one start such things? 

No one would be hearing it, perhaps not even himself.

A structure had to be established.

“My name is Akashi Seijuurou. I am sixteen years old and am heir to the Akashi Conglomerate. I am a student of Rakuzan High, and am currently the Student Council President and the captain of the basketball team…”

That wasn’t right.

“…accolades aside, something has been on my mind.”

He defined himself in his accomplishments, but now he could not fall back on them. What was he, if not his work? It should be nothing. He should be nothing but victory, duty and perfection. This was it. He had said everything. Or that was how it was supposed to be. So why was there so much left?

“I,” he felt parched. “Have more to tell.”

An unsure statement. He did not know whether to blame the night or himself.

“I, perhaps, it is a hypothesis,”

‘Say it.’

Lightning went through him.

A voice he had not heard in a while.

Faint and thin, but definitely his.

“Brother?” he called.

He called for him again, but there was nothing.

A response after months, a command at that. His brother always knew better.

“Say it…” He whispered, pressing the pads of his fingers to his lips.

Seijuurou stopped the recording, and restarted.

“I am Akashi Seijuurou,” he began. This was right. It had to be.

“And I believe, there are some issues at hand that I must acknowledge. For starters, I have not exactly been myself for the past few months, or at least, I have not been what I used to be. I feel…whole, but empty,

“I cannot call for my brother, but I know he is there within me. Which is frustrating, since it feels like I cannot grasp what is in front of me. Another issue happens to be in regards to my memories. Things I do not recall happening have emerged. I know these are real, but it is hard to accept.

“Am I going insane?”

There it was. The question that had been on his mind since his father handed him that card. He knew ‘insanity’ was a label that should not be used. Still, in the recent months, he felt lost. Rationality and reasoning had been replaced with impulsivity and rashness. He knew the action to take a little too late.

As the days went by, it bothered him that he could not take his decisions with absolute certainty.

Hesitance.

It was so alien.

“….Can I still perform my duties? Am I still capable of being the heir? Have all of my efforts….”

It hurt to say the words. He could not say it. For if he said it, would he realise it was true?

‘Have all my efforts been useless?’

No.

It can’t be.

He shut off the recording and paced across his room.

It was all too suffocating. He needed to get out. The curfew had begun about an hour ago so he could not go down. If he gave his name to the hotel staff, they would let him go, but he would be a failure of a captain if he could not follow the rules set by himself.

Seijuurou walked out of his room, and headed two doors down. He clicked on the doorbell and hoped the person inside would welcome him in.

The door opened.

“Sei-chan? What are you doing here?”

He wished he could answer, but all he could do was look to Reo. Speaking in uncertainties was far worse than silence.

Reo pulled him in. “Sit down here,” he pointed to a couch and Seijuurou did as told. The older boy ran about into the room, speaking to himself. “I can’t believe you had to see me like this, I knew I should have postponed the mud mask…”

He emerged out of the restroom a little later, face rid of the mask. He took a seat beside him and held his hand. “What brings you here?”

“I do not think I can do this.”

“Do what?”

He rubbed at his forehead and pushed back his bangs. “You had asked why I came early to Tokyo…” he began. “I, might have ran from home.”

“You what!?” Reo exclaimed, eyes wide. “What happened?”

“It might have been an overreaction.” Replied Seijuurou. “That’s where the issue lies, because I don’t overreact, I should not. Yet here I am.”

“Okay,” said the older boy. “Okay so you ran from home?”

“Not exactly, I informed father of my departure.”

Composing himself, Reo asked. “Why?”

“I do not know where to begin.” He really did not. He could barely comprehend the problem himself, much less explain it to someone else.

Then, he would have to begin with the parts he was clear about.

“During the match with Jabberwock, something occurred,” he began. “My brother decided it was time to depart, and since then, I have been feeling, unlike myself. I attributed it to the nerves and tension from the game, but it has gone on for longer,

“My father noticed, somehow. The day after the game, he handed me a visiting card for a child psychologist.”

He chose to leave out the part where he embarrassingly fainted in the middle of the night and had to be recovered by the working staff. Some things were better left unsaid.

“He invited me into his office and we dined together, then he gave me the card.” After years of barely acknowledging him as a human, he unexpectedly wanted to help him. “It was not out of concern for me. He made that clear. It was because he believed this would hinder my abilities as a successor.”

“Sei-chan…”

“I do not want his pity, neither do I want his affection. It is a fool’s errand to vie for that.” When he was younger, he wished for it, but as the years went by, it became obvious that he was only hurting himself in that endeavour. “Our relationship is professional at best. I do not understand why he initiated such- such an obvious ruse to show affection. It is unnecessary.

“It annoyed me that he had to feign concern, just to show me that I am still, apparently, inadequate. There is only so much I can take.”

Reo’s expression softened. “I am proud of you.”

He startled, but did not understand what caused such a reply. “What?”

“That you can now admit there’s only so much you can take.” Reo smiled. “Even I forget sometimes, but you’re human. If I forget it, you never even _acknowledge_ it.” He placed a hand on his shoulder. “You are amazing, and I’m glad you can now see that having limits is not a bad thing.”

Weakness was like dominos, have one and it will spread. Unfortunately, it was doing so quickly. Lack of sleep, his growing dependence on Reo as co-captain and the fact that his teammates were treating this more as a vacation than as a training camp. Additionally, people treated him differently. Like he could not handle things.

“Do you agree with him?”

Reo’s eyes widened in surprise, but he schooled his features. “For once- and don’t be mad, please hear me out- I think you’re your father might have a point. Even if it comes from a very strange, horrible place.”

His father did. Which is what frustrated him even more.

“So you agree.” He asked, knowing the answer.

Silence passed between them. Seijuurou trusted Reo’s judgements, and he knew that his father never made moves unless he was absolutely sure.

But that meant Seijuurou was in the wrong.

In every situation, his thoughts aligned with his father’s, because that was the assured way to victory. It did not happen as often with Reo since the older boy let his emotions guide him at times.

“It cannot be…” He said, words materialized for him to convince himself of lies.

Reo spoke. “Look, you came here because you had an issue, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Do you wish to solve it?”

With every fibre of his being. “Yes.”

“You were given the contact details for a psychologist.”

Seijuurou nodded.

“Now,” Reo drew closer, demanding his full attention. “You have acknowledged you have an issue, you want to solve it, and you were given a possible route to do so,” Seijuurou looked to the older boy’s face, and he continued. “So what made you run away from a possible answer?”

An answer? It was a clear insult. “You do not understand-“

“-Are you rejecting it because you truly believe that it’s excessive, or because it was a suggestion from your father?”

He paused.

Was he really being that obtuse?

Impossible.

The older boy continued. “I am not saying that he’s right, or you’re wrong. I’m saying, what if I suggested it? What if literally anyone else but your father suggested it? Would you be so opposed?”

If someone else suggested the same.

_“The point is, asking for help, getting help, even if it seems small, or dumb, or pointless, is fine.”_

Someone else had suggested it, had they not?

“Thank you, Reo-nee.” He said.

Slumping into the couch, Reo asked. “Made up your mind?”

“Yes. I am not going to be taking up my father’s card.”

“If that’s what you think is right-“

“-But I need help.”

Reo squealed and pulled him into a hug. “Oh my god Sei-chan! You absolute darling! You’re making so much progress.”

Startled, but unopposed to the affection, Seijuurou returned the hug. “I did not know you wanted me to go to counselling this badly.”

Pulling back, Reo replied. “No, not that. Maybe a little- not the point,” he waved his hand in dismissal. “I am glad you openly asked for _help_. You never say the word, or ask for it, _ever_.”

Shrugging, Seijuurou asked. “Well, now I have.”

It was the strangest thing. Asking for help, openly admitting that he needed to depend on someone to get through an ordeal, he assumed it would make him feel exposed. Yet, he had never felt so free.

. . .

The azure sea seemed to wrap the earth in its thin line, touching the sands of the beach with ivory caresses. The sea breeze tethered between fierce and lulled, standing precariously on the threshold that allowed the dozens visiting to enjoy it.

But Kouki had absolutely zero opportunities to take it in.

“How….how far…” he panted, legs barely moving forward as the team jogged on the unstable sands. “Are…are we in?” he asked.

“Almost……” Hiroshi began. “I can’t…..” he said, slowing down beside him. All of the first years, with the exception of Taiga, were at the end of the line.

“Fu-Fukuda-kun,” said Tetsuya, jogging beside him. “We….we only have to get……” he looked like he was about to faint.

“Just a bit more.” Kouki completed. Tetsuya seemed like he could barely breathe and talking was really not what he needed.

Koiichi crashed on the sands. “I give!” he said, falling on his back.

“Fuck this I’m going to puke.” Said Hiroshi and joined him.

The brunet turned to Tetsuya who was jogging in place beside him, shoulders stooped, feet barely lifting off the ground. They looked to each other, and weakly nodded.

‘Together.’ Was the unsaid vow.

“We’ll….We’ll get going!” yelled Kouki and the two continued.

His legs burned, and so did his lungs. His throat was dry as a desert, yet he was sweating everywhere. The feeling of sweat dripping down from behind his knees was always a weird sensation.

They saw the umbrellas and mats laid out with their respective coaches sitting there, though they were still pinpricks to the eye.

Some of them had finished running and had taken a seat too. 

“Almost! Almost there!” said Tetsuya, elated.

“Hey….” Said Kouki, almost tripping on a piece of rock. “I have….have an idea.”

“What?”

“Want to cheer?”

“Huh?” asked Tetsuya.

“Cheer us on, by ourselves” replied Kouki. “Use a song. Keep in rhythm. Helps finish faster.”

“I don’t- I don’t know any cheers.”

An entire year of sitting on the bench prepared him for this pivotal moment. “Let’s go Seirin! Go, Go Seirin!” yelled Kouki, though it hurt to do so “Now, repeat.”

The blue-haired boy seemed sceptical, but smiled. “Let’s go Seirin! Go, go Seirin!” he yelled, and they proceeded to do it together.

After the first two rounds of cheers, the remaining Seirin members seemed to have heard it and caught on. Kouki took longer steps and shouted, followed by the rest his team’s cheers. The two laughed and moved forward. Shinji and Satoshi changed up the tempo to something a little faster. Their captain and coach awaited them at the end, and Kouki really didn’t care that they looked annoyed because he could see their face. Which meant they were seconds away from finishing the run, the first thing on the training menu for the day.

It wasn’t just a run though. Boulders lined certain areas of the beach and they had to cross that on their way over. Climbing and running on loose sand had sapped the energy out of him within the first five minutes.

But it was all coming to an end!

With a final loud cheer, Kouki fell at the Seirin area beside the rest of the members.

“You Seirin boys are really hyper aren’t you?” said Reo, giggling. ‘Hyper’ was the last thing that could be used to describe them at the moment. Most of them looked dead. The Rakuzan second-years and Seijuurou had finished quickly.

“Furi.” Groaned Shinji from somewhere beside him. He couldn’t tell, since he had fallen face-first onto the ground.

“Yes _senpai_?”

“Band-Aid….” He asked, voice muffled.

Getting on all fours, Kouki managed to stand and dragged himself to his bag. He pulled out the antiseptic and the Band-Aid, and walked to where Shinji was. The older boy was now sitting up, and the rest of the team seemed to be recovering. Hiroshi and Koiichi slowly walked their way over. 

“Where is it?” asked Kouki, sitting beside him. Shinji showed his scratched up knee. The brunet cleaned up the wound and put the Band-Aid on.

Taiga distributed water bottles and towels, the team gathered in a circle.

“You should’ve told me.” Said Taiga, sounding upset.

Tetsuya replied, slumping onto the red-head “Told what?”

“That you’d all sing together! Me and Hyuuga- _senpai_ were the only ones left out!”

“But that’s because you already made it.” Said Satoshi. “We did it for motivation, and it was spontaneous.”

“Then! I’ll come back and run with you next time!” replied Taiga.

Kouki shuddered. ‘Monster. I’m friends with a monster!’

“Good job everyone.” Said Riko, walking forward. “We’ll take a forty-minute break and get back to our regular drills. And for those who couldn’t finish~” she eyed Hiroshi and Koiichi. “You get back for extra drills twenty-minutes early.”

Koiichi looked like he was about to cry. “I am going to die before I enter second-year. I’m dead.”

Scooting closer to the two, he patted Koiichi on the shoulder. “I’ll come cheer you on.”

The twenty minutes passed quickly and the three of them went to the nearby street court. They were ordered to do dribbling drills, and they heaved a sigh of relief. The three began with the simple motions and Kouki joined in.

“Oi, oi, Coach’s going to be mad,” said Hiroshi. “Resting up is part of training too you know?”

Kouki shrugged. “It’s just dribbling.”

“Focusing on your left hand?” asked Koiichi.

“Well, yeah. I suck at doing anything on my left. Izuki- _senpai_ said I should at least be halfway decent there, since it leaves a lot of openings.” He replied. “My plays get repetitive since I keep depending on the right.”

“He’s graduating, Hiroshi-chan” said Koiichi. “He’s leaving the bench.”

“Who are you calling _Hiroshi-chan_?” asked the boy, nerve popping on his forehead.

Kouki laughed. “Sure I am. I still look like I’m having a heart attack when I go on the court.”

“But you’re the first of us.” continued Koiichi. “Just don’t forget us ‘kay?”

The ball almost slipped from his hand, but he got a hold of it. “Huh? Of course not!”

Before they could continue, Riko’s whistle interfered the conversation and the three made their way to the team. Kouki hung behind a little. Maybe he was looking into it too much, but something was off.

He couldn’t hang out with his fellow Bench Trio members as much as he wanted since they stayed in different rooms. In the free time he did have, he was either practicing with Shun or getting tips from Seijuurou. He tried to visit their room, but often, the two were ready to head to bed, or were engaged in something else. The only time they could speak with each other was during practice or at the bench.

When practice ended, Seijuurou approached him. “When will you be coming today? I finally got my hands on _Hiroshima, Mon Amour_.” 

“Uhm, I don’t think I can make it today.” Replied Kouki. “I have, something I need to deal with. Can we get to it tomorrow?”

Seijuurou nodded. “Of course, I shall see you tomorrow then.”

“I’m really sorry, it’s just- I think I’ve been putting something off for a while.” From the corner of his eyes, he caught Koiichi and Hiroshi walking back to their hotel. “I need to get going.” He bowed. “Sorry again, I promise we’ll get to it tomorrow!”

Smiling Seijuurou replied. “Don’t worry, we have plenty of time.”

Kouki ran to catch up to the other two and flung his arms around them.

“Done talking with him?” asked Koiichi.

“Yep, today, the Bench Trio unites!”

“….sure.” mumbled Koiichi.

It was supposed to have gone unheard, but Kouki caught on. They made their way to the duo’s room and Kouki sat down on the floor.

“So what’s up?” asked Kouki.

“We got the Luna Sea album” said Hiroshi, handing over the cover.

“What the hell!?” Kouki looked over the cover. They had wanted to get their hands on one, but none of their parents were willing to get the money. Fortunately, Koiichi’s sister had a copy of it with her. “You didn’t tell me? When did she give it?”

“Last week,” replied Koiichi. “We wanted to call you over, but you were busy……”

Kouki chuckled awkwardly and opened it to get the disk. “Let’s listen together now, sorry for keeping you waiting!”

“We heard it already.” Said Koiichi. “You can borrow it and return it later.”

That was not how this was supposed to go. “But we always listen together. We promised to listen to this together right? They’re good so listening to it again is going to be a blessing,” replied the brunet. “Fuku? Can we use your laptop? It has better sound quality.”

“….’kay” was Koiichi’s lacklustre response.

“Guys,” asked Kouki. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Koiichi headed to the closet and pulled out some clothes. “I’ll take a shower first.”

“Okay I can’t do this!” said Hiroshi, getting up from the bed. “Kawa, just spit it out!”

“Dude we talked about this.” Said Koiichi, arms folded.

“But this is getting nowhere and I’m tired of sitting here pretending everything is fine when it clearly isn’t.” replied Hiroshi and sat back down on the couch, facing Kouki. “Furi, are you ignoring us?”

“What- What the hell!?” asked Kouki, standing up. “Where did that even come from?”

Hiroshi sucked in a breath and began. “You never hang out with us, whenever we call, you were always doing something else and no matter what we did, it feels like you just don’t want to come with us. And- and!-“

“-We get it” supplied Koiichi. “We’re not on your level anymore.”

“What’s this about?” asked Kouki, looking between the two. “What ‘level’?”

“It happens,” said Koiichi, looking to the side. “We should’ve seen this coming but- You know what? Forget it.”

This tension. He had never felt it before. With Hiroshi and Koiichi, things were always simple. Nothing got complicated since none of them were good at hiding things, or keeping things to themselves.

It was painfully obvious something was wrong.

And it was apparently his fault.

“What did I do?” asked Kouki, “I’m sorry if I did something, but I swear it wasn’t intentional. Just tell me what I did wrong.”

“But that’s the thing,” replied Hiroshi. “It isn’t intentional, not really. I think if we keep going like this, it’s not going to end well.”

Truth hidden behind shallow words, Kouki was tired of trying to decipher them. Not end well? Why not?

“Yeah, it’s not going to end well if you keep beating around the bush.” Replied Kouki. “I don’t even know what I did wrong. If I did do something, I swear to god it wasn’t because I wanted to. Now tell me what happened so we can fix this!”

Koiichi gritted his teeth. “You started playing.”

This discussion. This fight. It was about basketball?

“And? We all started playing!”

“The moment you did,” continued Koiichi, a death grip on the towel in his hand. “We started getting distant. And let me tell you, I know exactly how this goes.” He scoffed. “I’ve seen it enough times to know.”

Kouki was growing weary of this. “And how _does_ this go down?”

Gritting his teeth, Koiichi began. “At the beginning, everyone’s the same, things are all fine and dandy. ‘Let’s work together!’ they’d say. Then, training comes in, and differences come up, some are slower, some faster, some just stagnant. Then,” he scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. “Then the differences get worse. And suddenly, it’s not ‘let’s work together’. Suddenly, you and they are different.”

“You seriously think I’m going to be like that?” asked Kouki, there was a constant irritation in his skin, nagging pricks of heat that he wanted to rid of. “Our team’s nothing like that!”

Koiichi snickered. “Really Furi?”

“What’s there to laugh about?”

“Maybe there’s a reason Kagami gets way more attention.” Replied Koiichi. “There’s a reason why Kuroko gets special treatment from Kagetora-san and Coach, there’s a reason why Hyuuga- _senpai_ , Koga- _senpai_ and Izuki- _senpai_ focus on you more than they do us,” he walked closer and looked down at him. “And there’s a reason why you get to play more than any of us, at this point, even more than Tsuchida- _senpai_.”

“Dude, I can barely set up a play! I still feel like dying on the court, and I don’t play more than you guys-“

“How many times have you not been in a full game?” asked Koiichi, eyebrows furrowed, frown lines deep.

He was always in one. “That doesn’t matter-“

“But it does.” Cut in Koiichi. “Neither of us have ever stayed in a game for more than two quarters. The last time we talked outside of training was when we first got here, and that was ten days ago-”

“Kawa that’s enough.” Said Hiroshi.

“When was the last time we played together? As three?” asked Koiichi. “Last time we hung out? The last time we did anything outside of basketball?”

“But that’s got nothing to do with-“

“I get it,” said Koiichi.

“Get what?” asked Kouki. “Because I really don’t.”

“Furi…” said Hiroshi. “For now, just go to your room. I’ll call you later.”

“Are you….are jealous Kawa?” asked Kouki. “Because there’s nothing to be jealous of.” It was hysterical, that they believed he was somehow better.

“I get special treatment because I’m a _wreck_ on the court!” said Kouki. “I stay in more because if I don’t get used to playing the real deal quick, I’m going to be useless in second-year too. Literally, no one plays full time.”

Kouki wanted to cry, he really, really just wanted to sob into a pillow and fall asleep, never to wake again. “I’m probably the worst out of us. And Izuki- _senpai_ needs breaks and I’m the only one who can fill his spot. They give me more attention because they don’t have a choice.”

“Heck,” he continued. “I know I don’t have a choice either. I need to get better fast, that means I have to do so much more, and if you can’t deal with that then! Then-“ he stilled. What next?

Silence dripping in tension moved and suffocated him.

“I’m going out.” Kouki reached the door quickly and ran outside. He headed to his room and took his wallet, phone, and walked out. He needed some air.

The neighbourhood was a little unfamiliar, but he knew where the nearest train station was. That was all he needed. There was enough money to get him back home, but he really didn’t want to go there. He wanted to escape, but he had no destination in mind. He decided to stroll through the streets, just hoping he wouldn’t run into any of his teammates. Shizuoka was pretty calm, at least, the neighbourhood they were in was.

It was more of a tourist spot, and the only reason they could even afford the place was because Rakuzan was involved. There was a small convenience store and he wanted to drown himself in ice cream, so he went in and took out about half a dozen cones of different flavours and walked out.

He pulled out a cone as he exited, only for it to fall right out of his hand as he bumped into someone.

“I’m so sorry! Sorry! S-sorry!” said the boy he ran into.

Kouki collected the things that spilled out, and bowed in apology. “S-sorry! It’s my fault! I- I should’ve seen where I was going.”

“It’s my fault! It’s my fault!”

Now that he closely looked at the boy, Kouki recognized him.

“S-Sakurai?”

The boy looked up, confused. “I’m sorry!” he said. “I- I d-don’t know who you are! I’m so sorry!”

Figures. Kouki took the bag up from the floor. “It’s- it’s fine. I’d be surprised if you did, I haven’t played. I’m in Seirin. I’ve…seen you play a lot.”

Ryou’s eyes landed on the fallen ice cream, and his eyes became glassy. “I’m so sorry!” he bowed, ninety-degrees. “I’ll- I’ll repay for the ice cream!”

“No, no!” said Kouki. “It’s my fault for not looking. You don’t have to.” There was ice cream on the other boy’s shirt and Kouki panicked. “Oh no your shirt! I’m so sorry about that.”

“B-but I ran into you. And now the ice cream is wasted.” Replied Ryou.

“Uhm, how about this? I’ll help clean your shirt, and uh, you can get me the ice cream- But you don’t have to! And, then, as repayment, can I give you ice cream- uh- that is, if you like it?”

Ryou nodded, wiping away at the tears that glistened at the corner of his eyes. “D-deal.”

So they did that, thankfully, he had tissues and not a lot had spilled, so it wasn’t a hassle to get it out. After they had gotten the ice cream, the two sat at a nearby playground, which was mostly empty since it was getting dark.

“Thank you for the ice cream.” Said Kouki. They were both seated at the swings, eating silently.

“I’m really sorry, you looked like you were in a rush.” Replied Ryou. “And I just- did that.”

“N-no. I wasn’t doing anything.”

Ryou was swinging a little, but came to a halt. “Are…I don’t want to assume, but….are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“Your eyes….they’re all red, and, since you aren’t in a rush, I don’t think you bought the snacks for others….and, people…don’t usually buy that much for themselves so I thought…Not that I am saying anything! Sorry!”

He had caught all that from so little. What harm could it do? “No, you’re right. Fight with friends, that’s all.”

“Care to share?” asked Ryou.

Kouki shook his head. “I don’t want to burden you with all that. And I’m sure you have things to do.”

“No, it’s okay. It’d be bad to leave you alone like that.” Replied Ryou.

Kouki did not know if he would understand. Touou was a team filled with players who were sure of themselves, even Ryou, who apologized every second but gave Junpei a run for his money. “Well, my friend think I’m above them, or something…”

“Above them?”

“Well, you see I panic a lot on the court, in front of too many people...” he chuckled. “I panic with a lot of things. So, no matter how much I practice, it doesn’t really show because I feel exhausted just standing there sometimes. And now, we’re having a training camp with Rakuzan.”

“R-Rakuzan?” asked Ryou. Kouki nodded. “and, well, anyone who’s seen it will know that I-"

“-Fell flat on your face two seconds into the game?”

That one was sticking with him forever wasn’t it? “Yeah ...that. So, I practice more and I asked Coach to help me out. They thought I’m getting more attention because I’m somehow better, and I think they’re not cool with me getting so....far from them? I don’t know.”

Ryou hummed and began to lightly swing. “I’m sorry, but should your friends’ opinions matter here?”

As Ryou swung forward, Kouki began too, until they were mostly swinging with the same momentum. “Yeah, because they’re my friends.”

“I don’t think it should.” Replied Ryou. “They’re jealous because you’re working. And people get jealous when they’re afraid.”

“But they have nothing to be jealous of.” Replied Kouki.

“Oh, but, I think, they do.” Said Ryou. “My friends were jealous too, and they wanted me to stop. But I didn’t. Because I love basketball.” He swung higher. “Anyone who gets between me and basketball, they’re obviously unnecessary.”

For a guy known for panicking all the time, Sakurai Ryou actually had it together when it came to the things that mattered.

“You really love basketball huh?” asked Kouki.

“You don’t?”

Grinning as the wind brushed through his hair, Kouki replied. “I love it.”

“Then do whatever makes you happy. Even if it’s scary sometimes.”

“Sakurai-San?” said Kouki. If anyone could help him with this one, it had to be him. “How do you not let your nerves get to you on court?”

Giggling, Ryou replied. “I want to win more than I want to run away”

That was it?

So simple.

What did he want more than anything?

He stilled and got off the swing. “Thank you, Sakurai! You’re really cool.”

The other boy paused and got off as well. “Th-thank you. I’m sorry if I said something rude.”

“No. You were really helpful.” Said Kouki. “I’ll get going then. Thank you for the snacks!”

What did he want? Wanted something so badly that the need to run away seemed like nothing?

It seemed almost impossible to find. But Ryou was human too, just like him, and he too fretted and worried. Yet he got past it. If he could find his reason, surely, Kouki could find his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K first line of this chapter, all i could think of was that song in Anastasia that went "In the dark of the night! Evil will find her!" lmao
> 
> I really like this chapter. I feel like Sakurai is someone who could help put things into perspective for someone like Furihata. Their dynamic is something I sort of want to explore since the crowds tend to underestimate Sakurai because of his demeanor. 
> 
> Both Furi and Akashi reached pretty pivotal moments in this fic. Kawahara's jealousy is sort of inspired by myself because I used to view things like this as well. Probably still do. The junior trio are fun to write lol. 
> 
> Also, anyone here love Luna Sea?


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning was awkward for everyone involved. Kouki stuck to Tetsuya and Taiga’s side during the warm-up drills, and Tetsuya had taken quick notice. He did not ask much, but he often glanced at Kouki in question.

Hiroshi kept trying to talk to him. A step in his direction, trying to pair up with him during drills, but Kouki made sure to ask someone else before he could try. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to sort it out, but not now. If they stirred up drama in the middle of training, it would be horrible. He knew he would lose his cool, he knew he would scream, or cry, or do something which he probably could not take back.

Besides, Hiroshi had not done the worst of the damage. It was Koiichi, and he had yet to even look in his direction.

They began with the run and Kouki hung back a little. The last few times, he took off too fast in the beginning, so he held back to conserve some energy. This put him next to some of the Rakuzan first-years, which, was awkward at best.

They never spoke, just moved forward with a single-minded focus when it came to training. It was a little creepy. He felt like he could get ahead and moved a little faster. Thankfully, Hiroshi and Koiichi were both farther ahead.

As they reached the halfway point, he noticed that Seijuurou was slowing down quickly.

“Running out of steam?” asked Taiga, still going strong. 

Seijuurou replied. “Do not worry, I will be winning.” He ran back a little and leaned closer to Eikichi, saying something.

Of all things that could have happened, this was the last thing Kouki expected.

Eikichi started a _cheer_.

And the rest of Rakuzan followed.

‘What in the actual hell?’

Seijuurou came by to cheer on the first-years, who were also yelling atop of their lungs and moving forward. It was more like a practiced military drill. Kouki ran to catch up to the red-head. “This is copying! You copied us!” exclaimed Kouki.

With a sly smile, Seijuurou replied. “I don’t think you coined the idea. It is pretty common to do this. It helps increase lung capacity and boosts morale.”

Kouki glared. It was his idea! He yelled Seirin’s cheer and obviously, his teammates joined in, screaming, undoubtedly angry. Taiga and Junpei’s voices were the loudest. It was obvious that the Seirin captain had taken offence.

It was a back-and-forth until they reached the finish line. Kouki’s legs were jelly, but he was at the front, near Shinji and Shun for once. He did not try to slow down or speed up, there was momentum and he was scared of losing it.

Taiga cheered, since he was currently at the front of the line. Seijuurou smirked. “I will have to get going.” He said to Kouki and speeded forward, much to Taiga’s displeasure.

When Kouki reached the end, the general dread from the exhaustion was nowhere to be found. He still felt tired, but, it was rejuvenating, almost. For once in the day, he didn’t think about the fight at all.

“You morons!” yelled Riko, pulling at Kouki and Junpei’s ears “We’re going to get kicked out for public disruption!”

The brunet scrambled back and bowed in apology. Riko just shook her head and turned to the rest of the team. Kouki bolted the moment her attention was directed elsewhere.

Taiga grumbled. “They started it.” He showed no remorse, seemingly more consumed by his loss against Seijuurou.

“Hey! You guys did it yesterday!” replied Koutarou.

Kouki found Seijuurou, who was observing the commotion. “So you did copy us.” He said, knowing the answer.

“We were inspired.”

The brunet rolled his eyes. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really.”

The Rakuzan Coach gathered them and the two teams headed to the gym. They donned their uniforms and went onto the court. They had about four practice matches so far, this one was the fifth, and apparently the second to last. Everyone was more or less used to it. Kouki sat at the bench and listened quietly as Riko ran down the game plan. They had to work on their overall speed, since it was Seirin’s advantage. The first line-up would include the first years. Kouki eyed Koiichi and Hiroshi.

The brunet stood up from the bench and tapped Koiichi’s shoulder and headed to the exit. Koiichi followed a few seconds later and stood in front of him.

“I-“

“-Wait, no.” Kouki interjected. “Whatever it is you want to say, or do, let’s do it after the practice ends. Just, please don’t let our fight get in the way of this.” He glanced at their teammates, who were clearly excited, and Koiichi followed his gaze. “That’s my one request, please. I’ll do my best too.”

Without waiting for a reply, he jogged back. Shun asked him what that was about, but he simply grinned and asked for some last-minute tips.

When they stepped on the court for tip-off, he remembered something Kagetora had said, something that stuck with him.

“ _Teamwork isn’t just friendship.”_

Friends or enemies, if they were on the same team, it shouldn’t matter what they thought of each other. Kouki never got it. Their entire team was tight-knit, and he couldn’t imagine them fighting and still playing. He felt sorry for Touou because of it. But, standing there with this sudden, inexplicable desire to get over his fears, he finally understood a little.

_“I want to win more than I want to run away.”_

That conversation played in his mind, and he could barely sleep. He did not fully know what he wanted yet, but it felt a little closer.

The ball went to Rakuzan, Eikichi moving quickly to the basket but Taiga was on his tail. The tanned boy seemed to want to pass it to Reo, aware that Taiga had the upper hand, and Kouki ran forward to intervene.

He looked around and noticed that Koiichi was open, he was ready to pass-

‘No, too easy.’

He looked to the side and noticed that a tall Rakuzan first-year was positioned too close for comfort next to Koiichi. Kouki caught the flash of Tetsuya’s blue hair and stole the ball to pass it to him. Kouki couldn’t keep the ball with him for too long. He wasn’t quick enough to risk shooting either.

Tetsuya passed to Hiroshi, who made his way up the court to score but was quickly intervened by another one of the Rakuzan first-years and this boy passed to Eikichi, who was the closest to the basket, but Taiga was quicker, taking hold of it. The two were engaged in a one-on-one.

He needed to get it out fast. He looked to the blue-haired boy and it seemed like they had vaguely the same idea; for Tetsuya to get the ball out of Taiga’s hands and pass to Koiichi. Kouki looked to Hiroshi, and directed him to get in Eikichi’s line of sight. The first-year kid guarding him moved along with him and Tetsuya took the opportunity to get the ball. He passed it across the court to Koiichi.

He appeared like he wanted to take the shot, but it was unlikely it would make it in, since Reo was on his tail, smirking confidently. Neither had scored a basket, they needed to set the pace of the game in their favour as quickly as possible. Kouki ran forward and glanced at Koiichi, indicating that he was setting up a screen.

Koiichi tried to take the shot, but Reo easily got past Kouki, and tipped the ball back as it entered the air. That wasn’t going to happen anyways, the ball was never going to go in and he knew. Reo was not confident without reason.

Koiichi was a bit of a distraction.

As the ball went back, Taiga quickly took possession of it and jumped to make the shot. Eikichi was too far away, and none of them were quick enough to knock it from Taiga’s hands, even if they were quick, the heights to which Taiga could jump were almost impossible.

On the court, Koiichi heaved lightly, looking to the basket as the ball went in. Kouki walked up to him. “Thanks.” He said, and the game resumed.

He was just glad they didn’t let their fight interfere.

The game progressed in a similar fashion. It was easier to play since the first-years of Rakuzan, though skilled, were not terribly difficult to play against. He was glad for Riko’s arduous training.

Panic surged occasionally, when things didn’t go exactly as he planned. It didn’t really get to him too much, since the parts that did go right, it was exhilarating. He never really paused to take in the stuff that went well before.

He wanted to see it happen again. Every time it did happen within that quarter, he felt the fear abate.

Basketball was always fun, but _this_ , this was a different kind of thrill.

He wanted to run away.

But he wanted this again, as many times as he could get.

The quarter ended with a tied score. The players were switched out and Kouki sat at the bench, oblivious to anything but the game. He observed the players on the court and looked to their coach.

“I think, I think I figured out one of the first-years.” Said Kouki. The rest of the team took notice.

“Well, I’m not, a hundred percent sure, but their first year centre, the tall blond one, I think he hasn’t played basketball before this year.” Said Kouki.

Riko nodded. “Yeah, he’s really new. He’s a textbook centre. They really drilled all the moves into him.”

“Right?” Kouki agreed. “He never makes a move on his own, but when he does, he makes sure he sees through it perfectly. To be honest, none of their first-years seem to….function on their own? Especially this guy. They rely on their first-year point guard and Reo-nee a lot. Their first-year point guard doesn’t seem to get along with any of them…I think.”

Shinji looked to the court. “The Bowl-Cut boy? I tried to talk to him,” he shuddered. “He’s a nightmare to talk to.”

Kouki nodded, sympathizing with that sentiment. “But, it seems like the Centre and the Point Guard really heavily depend on each other, so-“

“-Deal with Bowl-Cut and you finish off the Centre.” Completed Shinji.

“Uhm, well….not exactly,” continued Kouki. “Reo-nee takes over if, uh, ‘Bowl-Cut’, isn’t available. If not Reo-nee, then Nebuya-san. But, that’s a good things, because they use him, almost like a…” he felt bad making the comparison. “…a game piece? So he sticks to certain duties, because I don’t think he’s ever experienced an actual game yet.”

“And as Coach said, he’s textbook, he doesn’t try to surprise you. If you look at his feet placement, you can basically tell when he’s going to do what. And their point guard, he’s really confident in himself.”

“A prick, you mean.” Added Koiichi, an amused smile, but seemed to have remembered too late that they were, in fact, fighting, so he quickly looked away.

Nodding, the brunet continued. “His pride makes him try to follow through plans even if it’s obvious they’re not going to work out. His face gives away everything he’s thinking.”

They discussed the rest of the players and the second quarter ended. Riko did not put him in for the third, but Hiroshi and Koiichi were. Kouki sat by and observed. Third quarter ended with Seirin in the lead. This happened only twice so far, including this game.

Kouki switched in and as expected, Seijuurou entered too, as he almost always did in the last quarter. He never played much, based on his coach’s orders, but he did do it occasionally for a short period of time.

This time, he looked excited.

Kouki knew they were going to lose with a larger point gap than usual, somehow. Because an Akashi Seijuurou who looked like that meant no good.

He should feel terrified, and he did. But it was a dull undercurrent, a muffled flow in the back of his mind. The rush from the first quarter still stuck with him, and watching the game play out made him surer of himself.

He still wanted to run.

But he wanted to stay way more.

The match continued with high speed, and Kouki barely had enough time to think. He avoided going against Seijuurou like the plague, because if he messed up now, if he let himself try anything as stupid as that, they would be compromised. This was a battle for Taiga, and he just needed to make sure their ace got all the arsenal that he could get.

Watching the two of them go against each other was like watching two dragons fight. Destructive, untouchable, and strangely graceful among the wreckage left behind. They often paused, and he knew that when Taiga decided to back out, it was because that would have been a losing battle.

It was like walking on a tight rope every time all of Rakuzan’s starters got on the court.

The ball was now in his hand and before he could pass, Koutarou was on him, and he needed to hand it off quick. Seijuurou was guarding Tetsuya, and Taiga was dealing with Eikichi and Reo. It didn’t last long since Seijuurou broke past and Koutarou had gotten the ball.

They were already twelve points behind and this time, he would not let them lose with a two-digit difference just because of him. Kouki moved ahead and he tripped.

‘Not now!’

He scrambled back up, but found his balance again and knocked the ball out of Koutarou’s hand, Junpei rushed in somehow, and took hold of it, closing their gap by three points.

The game ended and he shouldn’t feel happy. They lost. Yet.

Yet he felt like he won. Junpei stalked towards him, lips pulled in a tight line. “You did well.” He said. “Now line up with the others!” he added, much louder

Kouki moved into the line, feeling like he was floating. Junpei didn’t just say that stuff on the fly. Those words replayed in his mind on a loop and Kouki knew he would rest peacefully if he died right then.

The teams bowed to each other and they headed to the locker rooms, showered and changed.

“Furi…”

Kouki closed his locker and saw Koiichi, standing behind him.

Rain on his parade.

He had to deal with it eventually. He did not look forward to it, at all.

“Outside?” asked Kouki. Koiichi nodded and they headed out.

Under the shadows of a lush green tree, they stood in the evening air.

“Look, about last night,” started Koiichi. “I said stuff, that I shouldn’t have, and I can’t take it back. And it’s kind of what I felt. You said you didn’t improve, but it’s so obvious that you did.”

He waited, he really doubted he could talk. No apologies yet, but he sounded remorseful. Was it foolish to cling onto that part of it all?

“Fuku and I fought after you left.” He said. Kouki worried at his lips, things were really falling apart. “He knocked some sense into me,” Koiichi looked to the side. “I was pissed, mostly at myself. But I put it all on you, then I tried to put it all on Fuku. When really…it’s my problem.”

Groaning, Koiichi scratched at the back of his neck, one arm on his hip. “What I’m trying to say is…can we start over?”

Kouki took in those words. He wanted to sigh of relief, wanted to pull him into a hug and nag him to death. But in the end, all he did was laugh.

“You idiot you had me scared!” said Kouki, trying to get rid of sting of oncoming tears in his eyes. “I thought you wanted to finish this all off!”

Koiichi, initially shocked with the response, quickly began to giggle with him. “Me? Shut up, _you_ were the one who got all buddy-buddy with Rakuzan.”

“Rakuzan?”

“Literally every time we call you to hang out, you’re with Akashi or Izuki- _senpai_.” Complained Koiichi.

“So you _are_ jealous.” Said Kouki. “Not of practice time, but, that I got new friends?” he could barely supress his amusement.

“No.” Koiichi blew a raspberry. “As if anyone would want to hang with those two.”

“Hey, you said Akashi isn’t that bad, and Izuki- _senpai’s_ puns are pretty cool sometimes”

“He paid for our milkshakes that day man, of course he isn’t that bad. And really, the puns?“

Rushed footsteps hit against asphalt and they looked to see Hiroshi running towards them.

“Holy shit I thought you guys were going to go out and kill each other I swear to god these were the worst twenty-four hours of my entire life!” He pulled the two of them into a hug. “Never, ever, ever, _ever_ fight again, that was horrible.”

“Sorry Fuku,” said Kouki. “I swear I wasn’t ignoring you guys.”

“I know, and I am never going to let this asshole,” he glanced at Koiichi. “Think for me ever again, he’s a certified moron.”

“Idiot. If I’m a moron, what are you for following along with me?”

They slowly drew back.

“So are we good?” asked Koiichi, brows furrowed down in concern.

Kouki replied. “No.”

Hiroshi looked like he was ready to cry, and Kouki smiled. “You guys forgot to do one thing.” He eyed the two of them. “Neither of you said ‘sorry’.”

Hiroshi and Koiichi immediately bowed. “We are sorry!” they said in chorus.

“Still not enough. Say ‘Sorry Furihata- _sama’_.”

The two stood back up and Koiichi folded his arms. “You’re pushing it.”

“We are sorry Furihata-sama, we are unworthy of your eminence and grace-“continued Hiroshi and Kouki had stop him before it got too embarrassing. “I’m joking! You’re forgiven guys.”

“So….” Began Koiichi. “Want to hang out today?”

It was Kouki’s turn to be awkward. “Uh….well, I, sort of promised Akashi yesterday?”

Koiichi glared at him, and the brunet couldn’t help but feel a little suffocated. Was he really spending that much time with Seijuurou?

“Kidding!” Koiichi grinned. “But you’re sleeping over at our room today, bring along Izuki- _senpai_ too, if he’s lonely.”

“Got it.” nodded Kouki and bid the two goodbye. At the entrance, Seijuurou stood with his bag.

“Ready to go, Furihata- _sama_?” asked Seijuurou and Kouki balked.

“Oh god please no.” replied Kouki. “How did you even hear that?”

“Fukuda-kun isn’t very quiet.”

Kouki pouted. “Well then, ‘Akashi- _sama’_ , lead the way.”

“Gladly.” He held out a hand and bowed. Kouki pouted. He looked very much like a lord. The honorific fit him a tad bit too well. Shaking his head, Kouki took his hand and they headed to their destination.

. . .

Very few things excited Seijuurou. He could say he had seen it all, due to the vast amount of exposure he had access to with his family’s economic position. Fineries and spectacles stopped amusing him when he was five. The crude, unplanned developments were what often brought him a sense of thrill.

It was another reason why he loved basketball. The players that surrounded him often grew in ways he rarely foresaw. Predicted improvements also gave him joy. But it was the unprecedented ones that made him remember why he loved the game so much.

The first time, it was with Tetsuya.

The second was with the Generation of Miracles.

The third, was Kagami Taiga.

And the fourth? Furihata Kouki.

Unlike the preceding three, his improvement was hardly anything noteworthy, but after getting to know him for a few months, Seijuurou came to understand the magnitude of it.

All the assistance he provided was out of his desire to spend time with him, since they would rarely come by another opportunity such as this. But now, he wanted to witness for himself how Kouki would surprise him. It was like watching a flower bloom. It was common occurrence, but watching dormant buds slowly open themselves, no matter how often it repeated itself, was always a joy to witness.

They were seated at Seijuurou’s hotel room, and the beginnings of _Hiroshima_ , _Mon_ _Amour_ played on the television screen. He had not watched it, but Eikichi had spoken highly of it. He had an interest in cinema and its history, which, was a shocking discovery for all of his team mates. Their Centre explained the themes and he decided it would do.

What he had not spoken off, was that the first scenes included the images of two people making love. It was not explicitly shown, but slow hands digging into a naked back could be interpreted as little else.

It was not that he had never seen such things, but, it was awkward. He looked on, because there was meaning here. Kouki was not faring too well. He observed the boy beside him, and his blush was prominent. His eyes were on everything but the screen, and honestly, he could not blame him. He wished to look away too.

But this was art. Sometimes, art was difficult to take in.

They quickly moved past it, since the scenes of two lovers in each other’s embrace was juxtaposed against gruesome scenes of war.

Generally, the two made conversation when watching a film. This time, it was sombre. Often, Seijuurou gazed at Kouki’s expressions, trying to decipher what he thought.

Sadness, worry, concern, anger. Widened eyes, bitten lips, and glassy gazes.

The movie ended ambiguously, there was no explanation as to whether the French Woman and the Japanese Man in a post-World War 2 world would begin a relationship. Kouki remained silent.

“What do you think?” asked Seijuurou.

His parted lips closed, and he pulled the pillow in his hand closer, drawing into himself.

“I don’t think I’d ever find love.”

A strange statement to make after watching a film like that. “What led you to make such a conclusion?”

“She said this thing,” began Kouki, speaking as if he were in a daze. “Something about, letting him devour her.”

_“Devour me. Deform me until no one after you will understand.”_ Said Seijuurou. His French was subpar, but he knew he would improve with a few more months of practice.

Kouki’s gaze finally averted from the screen. “What?” he asked.

“The line which you mentioned. About being deformed until none will recognize her after him.”

Nodding, he replied. “Yeah. That. I think, she really did love him. Because if you can let someone make you ‘deformed’, when people don’t even want to show the deformities that they have, isn’t that basically like giving your everything? I don’t think I could ever do that.”

“It is a lot to ask.” Said Seijuurou. “But we love in different ways, her limits go beyond the ordinary. Her love is unrealistic.” Not that he did believe that love was some extraordinary emotion. It just was.

“Really?” asked Kouki. “I think, her love is what actual love is.”

“That is?”

“Having the strength to show your flaws.”

Seijuurou chuckled. “You are a bit of an idealist are you not?”

Kouki pouted.

“Based on the context of the film,” Seijuurou continued. “I believe that her wish to be deformed arises from a need to distract herself from the death of her previous lover. She believes she needs to see a worse tragedy to let go of her own, hence, her attachment to the disaster in Hiroshima, and the desire to be completely deformed.” He turned the television off, and concluded. “It is not love at all. It is a simple need to move forward.”

The brunet looked at him with confusion. “Wow, I, I didn’t think of it like that.” He tugged at a strand of his hair. “I kind of thought, the same too. Moving forward. But, in a different way. Because, when she lost her first lover, she already let him deform her?”

There it was, the discussions he always looked forward to. Kouki’s idealism versus his pragmatism.

Kouki continued. “Because she loved a German soldier as a French girl in World War Two, she had let him deform her. The shame of loving the enemy. Her family got to know and they cut her hair and shamed her. And then, after all that, she recovered. She tried to move on, maybe she did.”

Seijuurou observed him, hesitance fading into surety as the boy got more absorbed in his own thoughts.

“She never regretted the first love,” continued Kouki. “And she moved on enough to find someone other than him. A new person to deform her. But I don’t think it’s about wanting to be deformed, it’s about trusting someone enough to give your all to them, and believing that they would not harm you.”

There was unwavering conviction in Kouki’s eyes. “She just wants someone she can be weak with. And, she wants someone to love her so much that being deformed doesn’t scare her.”

For someone who hesitated often, he was optimistic in terms of romance. It was charming, to believe so ardently in such notions. Seijuurou considered romantic love a waste of time. Perhaps, not the emotion itself, but the process of courting someone seemed needlessly complicated.

Kouki was probably the type of person who enjoyed the courtship process though. He was almost certain he was.

“Then, she has found him.” Replied Seijuurou. “Are you one for romantic gestures?” asked he, just to kill the lingering doubt in his hypothesis.

Cheeks tinting a light pink, he replied. “Yeah. Its, it sounds nice.”

“Have you ever done something akin to that?” he was curious, he wanted to know more. Such information would be of no use, but he wanted to know.

Kouki chuckled uncomfortably. “Well, I don’t know if this counts or not, but I sort of did?”

“What is it?”

So, very, curious.

“A girl I had a crush on asked me to be the best at something, and, well, I sort of did.” He grinned.

“What was it?”

“Don’t be mad,” asked Kouki and Seijuurou nodded. “It’s basketball. Because, you know, we won the Winter Cup? So, promise fulfilled.”

“Why have I never heard of this girl?” asked Seijuurou. Kouki often spoke about his friends and family, a girlfriend would not be missed.

“I forgot about her.” Said he. “I know that sounds bad, but, we were never a thing, and she just didn’t want to turn me down harshly. After joining the club, I fell in love with basketball, I guess.”

“Would you let it deform you?” teased Seijuurou.

“Eh?” Kouki looked horrified.

Concerned, Seijuurou inquired. “What’s wrong?”

“I just, thought of getting hit in the face by a basketball and having my teeth knocked out.” Said Kouki. “Not that much love.”

It was supposed to be a joke, but had the contradictory effect. Maybe his attempts in trying to make him laugh should be left aside.

The training camp was a little more than halfway through and therefore, the time left for them to spend together was also slowly draining away. He realized, he would miss this. After speaking with Reo, he decided he would confront his father once he got back.

Everything that was at bay would come crashing back in, and he doubted he could ever find a situation like this again, where he could simply not think of anything he disliked.

Whatever was left of this time, he tried to etch it into his memory till it could carry him through whatever laid ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had accidentally set up the idea of them watching films together and i had to search to find a movie that they might end up watching and landed at 'Hiroshima, Mon Amour'. It's a really nice film, and i can't believe fic research made me end up watching it. 
> 
> I'm aware that.....a lot of people wouldn't have watched it, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give it a shot! It's a good film about personal tragedies and global tragedies, about how we cope and its about so much. The line Akashi quoted(for Furi), it really affected me. I never thought of someone confessing love in such a way. It's a scary a way to say 'love', but love is messy, and scary and selfish(The Half Of It ;_;), and its gruesome as well. Love walks a thin line. It inspires madness, but it also brings forth healing and comfort. It really depends on the mental state of the people involved.
> 
> I really enjoyed writing these parts. 
> 
> I understand that most, if not all, are here for the romance, but I love building them up as characters, and that's why i invested time in writing the basketball parts and training because it's the core of KNB, Akashi & even Furi. You can't be a good lover if you can't stand on your own. If not handled carefully, they might search for answers to own problems in e/o, which they easily can. First, the need to stand on their own, then, they can stand beside each other.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a SUCKER for cliches. You'll understand why....

It was the last day of the training camp, and there was sense of finality when they bowed during the practice match. It was all fun and games up until that point. Coming next, was the Inter High. They would not be facing each other on such friendly terms in the future, and every match would have high stakes.

Setting such thoughts aside was difficult for Kouki, since he had grown close to the first-string players of Rakuzan, and even some of the other first-year students (‘Bowl-Cut’, whose actual name is Hiro Otsuka, was still as unapproachable as ever).

Both teams were gathered in front of the gymnasium they had rented. It generally had a few other teams in there as well, but on this day, it was completely empty. It was a very fancy, tall building with high-end equipment which Riko had made sure to use to torture them further. 

The teams were gathered for a final event, which Riko had insisted must occur, and the Rakuzan coach had agreed to her request.

“Since last year’s Test of Courage was abysmal,” began Riko. “This year, we would be putting a little spin to it.” She winked and everyone in Seirin groaned.

There it was, his worst nightmare. Last year was horrible all on its own, they had to navigate through an old, deteriorating building in the night with nothing but a flashlight.

Why was he in the basketball club again?

Kouki was sure he would die of the nerves before any ghost got to him.

Coach Shirogane addressed them. “You will be divided into two teams based on the lots you will be drawing.” He said and showed a cup with folded papers. “There are two numbers. Those who get the same number would be on the same team. Number Two will meet with me, and Number One will meet with Riko. ”

With that, they picked their lots and Kouki searched for those with the same number as him. Koiichi, Satoshi, Hiroshi and Shinji were on his team. The rest were in Team One. He searched for Seijuurou and showed his number, the two grinned when they saw that they were on the same team.

Eikichi and the first-year blond from Rakuzan were with them too.

The Rakuzan Coach led them to the back of the building.

“Wonder what it’s going to be?” asked Kouki, musing mostly to himself.

Seijuurou replied. “Whatever it is, we will be winning.”

It was then that he realized, that he was on the same team as Seijuurou.

He never really thought it would happen, and he had grown used to the idea of them always going against each other. If Seijuurou claimed they would win, Kouki knew victory would be theirs. He had to wonder what it was like for Rakuzan to have someone whom they could rely on this much. 

They stopped at the empty parking lot behind the gymnasium and the Rakuzan Coach addressed them.

“The teams have been split for a test of courage. Everyone will be moving in pairs through the location at approximately 8:00 PM. You will have to find the flag hidden in the building. A pair from the opposing team will also try to find the flag. If you fail to capture the flag, or exit within the thirty minutes, no points will be rewarded. Finding the flag rewards ten points.”

Quickly, they got into pairs. Koiichi and Hiroshi chose to stick with each other, which meant Kouki was left alone.

“Would you like to team up?” asked Seijuurou.

Kouki was standing by one of the lamp posts, trying to get himself to calm down. “What about Nebuya-san?”

Shrugging, he replied. “He will be dealing with two of the first-years, since there is an odd number.”

“But, we might lose…” said Kouki. During their last camp, he had a complete meltdown. It was honestly embarrassing. “I get scared really easily. I don’t want to drag you down.”

“None of it is real, it will not harm you.” Replied Seijuurou.

“I- I know, but, the dark, and how closed off it gets.” Said Kouki. “Even if it isn’t real, my brain just can’t get it. You can’t win with me.”

He really doubted he could last the entire thirty-minutes. Both of them would have to be in there, and get out together to win, and Seijuurou won’t let himself lose for such simple reasons like Kouki’s fear of the dark.

“Trust me.” Said Seijuurou. “You will be fine.”

It was not that he didn’t trust Seijuurou, but that he did not trust himself to even be good enough to get through it. Even with support. He noticed that everyone had paired up already, and now they were left with no choice but to be together.

“Okay, but I’m telling you, it’s, it’s going to difficult.”

“We’ll see about that.”

They got into Rakuzan’s bus collectively, divided based on their new teams, but it did not stop anyone from yelling to the other side about how they will be victorious, or something of that nature. Kouki got involved in it too, but he really wasn’t that great at trash talking. 

But his teammates were worse.

“You’re stupid but what am I?” asked Taugam high-fiving Shun.

Koiichi sneered. “Stupider than me.”

“You’re stupider times-ten!”

“You’re stupider times-infinity!” was Koiichi’s intelligent reply.

Taiga looked around, searching for a better insult, gritting his teeth. “And you’re stupider twice-infinity!”

Seijuurou leaned over from his seat. “Is it always like this?”

The Seirin members continued, and Kouki really wished to never associate with them ever again. “More or less…”

After about fifteen minutes, the bus parked somewhere that could barely count as a road.

They reached what seemed to have been an inn. The architecture was extremely old. The wooden structures holding the building together were barely holding up, tattered sheets hanging from the windows. There were no lights to speak of, and since it was around quarter past eight in the night, nothing but the moonlight illuminated it.

Civilization was but a line of neon lights in the far, far distance.

“This is it!” said Riko. “Now who wants to go in?”

“Not me…” muttered Kouki to himself.

“Neither do I.” said Seijuurou.

That was a little surprising. “Why?”

“We do not know what we’re dealing with here. We need information on the layout.” Said Seijuurou. The two of them eyed their team. “The first team to enter should be calm enough to gather information and relay it with accuracy.”

Kouki looked at the group. Calm and collected just enough to get information? The Rakuzan first-years looked terrified, clinging to each other and looking to Eikichi for comfort, even the boys who weren’t paired with him. Most of them from the opposing team gathered around Reo and Koutarou too, who looked equally frightened.

“Fuku and Kawa dealt with Riko’s plans last year,” said Kouki. “They were scared, but, I think they might be able to handle this much.” 

“Fair enough.” Said Seijuurou. “This is a rather small inn, it only has two floors.” He walked a little further to the side. “The darkness will make it seem like it’s larger than it is.” Kouki observed the building along with him. He never really thought about breaking it down.

It was, in the end, still a building.

“I think, there’s about six windows at the front,” said Kouki. “And eight at the sides.”

They observed the building more and took note of the details, after which, they informed Hiroshi and Koiichi that they were up first.

“Are you still mad at me?” Koiichi was sweating bullets at the thought of entering. “This is the last place you should be taking revenge.”

Kouki bowed. “I’m sorry!”

Hiroshi was rambling, voice quivering. “I can’t believe you threw us under the bus like this you absolute asshole I will make sure to slaughter you if the ghosts don’t kill me first, or I’ll haunt you after I’m dead, either ways you will be _suffering_!”

“Fukuda-kun.” Seijuurou intervened. “This building is not haunted. I can assure you of that.”

“It- It isn’t?”

He continued. “I visited this inn about two years prior, it went out of business approximately four months ago, but the owners are an aging couple, hence the demolition process is taking some time, they are emotionally attached to this place.”

“R-really?”

“Yes. I remember that the sliding doors were decorated with minimalistic cloud patterns at the bottom.”

Koiichi and Hiroshi looked to each other.

“The couple really treasured this place,” Seijuurou looked at the building and sighed. “It was a place where they made many memories, from what I understood when I spoke with them. To think it would be used to scare people.”

Koiichi replied. “That’s, that’s just sad.”

“They wished for people to make memories here, just like themselves, and we might be the last people to have that chance.” Said Seijuurou.

With that, he let them ruminate on the story. Kouki listened intently, eyes never leaving the inn.

“If you are still afraid-“

“We’ll do it!” said Koiichi. “We’ll make sure to honour their memory of this place.”

Hiroshi nodded. “I hope they’re doing well now, and we’ll make sure their inn is seen for the summer memories it gave us. Their final contribution to our youth, a cherished moment in the blip that is our lives in relation to the…”

And so he went on.

Riko called for the first teams and the two grinned as they walked in.

When they were out of sight, Kouki asked. “That story, it wasn’t real was it?”

“Not one bit.”

“Thought so…” replied Kouki. Sure, those two can believe in that half-baked story in their panic, but he knew the truth, and it really could be haunted. He decided to distract himself and looked at their opposing team, who were scared shitless, to put it lightly. Taiga was hiding behind Tetsuya near the bus.

Junpei was showing bravado but his legs were trembling.

Riko, Kouki noticed, was looking worried. Kouki observed the inn and saw that the lights from the flashlights were mildly visible from outside. She relaxed after a while though.

The two pairs came out, neither of them had a flag in their hand.

Hiroshi looked close to tears.

“What’s wrong?” asked Kouki.

“Th-their memories!” he cried, draping himself over Kouki. “The old tatami mats, the windows, the wood, the reception, they must have loved it so much.”

Kouki rolled his eyes and patted him. “So, uh, how was it?”

“It was dark as heck,” said Koiichi, “we really couldn’t get much, sorry.”

Seijuurou replied. “It’s fine, which rooms had you visited?”

“I think, we finished every room on the first floor, there’s only seven. Upstairs, about three, I think there’s at least ten up there?”

“Thank you.” Replied Seijuurou.

The next duo to go up was Satoshi and Shinji. Shinji was told the story of the ‘ailing couple’ and their ‘memories’. He jumped onto the story quickly, Satoshi was less convinced but he went along with it as well. Seijuurou added in some extra details to the story, and the two continued with confidence.

“You’re really good at stories.” Kouki waved goodbye and gave the duo a thumbs-up.

“I try my best.” Replied Seijuurou.

He wished he could believe the story too. No way would four months cause the place to creak so much. Kouki decided to focus on literally anything else again, and he found Riko again, who looked a little tensed, but relaxed with a smile. She was standing away from everyone beside Coach Shirogane. Kouki followed her line of sight and he noticed the lights in the inn. She grinned when they moved away.

She was relaxed for the rest of the time, and the lights never appeared over the left side of the building again.

“Akashi…” called Kouki. “I have a bit of a hunch.”

“What?”

He kept his eyes on the inn, trying to figure out where they were. “I’m not sure about this, but,” he continued, something was better than nothing. “Coach set it all up, and she keeps focusing on the left side of the inn, the first floor. So it might be there.”

Seijuurou nodded. “Especially when the light is visible somewhere near the second window over there.”

The pairs emerged, no flag with either of them.

Seijuurou and Kouki called upon the next pair in their team and told them to check thoroughly in the left side of the first floor. About fifteen minutes after they entered, the Rakuzan first-years emerged with the flag.

“Ten points for Team Two.” Announced Riko.

She went in to hide it again, and came out about ten minutes later.

It continued on, with Team One never finding the flag. Kouki could not get a read on the location of the flag based on the lights after that.

Finally, it was the last pairs’ turn.

“We’re up.” Said Seijuurou and Kouki tried to will away the trembles wracking his frame, but it seemed to get worse with every attempt.

Seijuurou moved ahead, and Kouki tried to keep pace with him. They were just walking, yet he lagged behind. The red-head paused and held out his hand, and Kouki immediately took it, searching for anything to ground him, something steady. Which Seijuurou was.

“Akashi-kun.” Tetsuya addressed them as they stood in front of the entrance, holding onto Taiga who looked like he was on the verge of death. “We need to get going.”

“I’m sorry.” Said Kouki, and held his hand tighter. With a deep breath and a quick prayer, they entered.

The floorboards creaked with every step and the wind howled, torn sheets from the sliding doors flapping against the wind. The dust floated in the air as they moved further inside inside the musty building.

It was dull, and the flashlight did not provide much help. Taiga was at the entrance, protesting entry while Tetsuya tried to coax him into it. Kouki worried at his lips, and he was sure he was probably crushing Seijuurou’s hand at this point.

They began to search in the first room, Kouki’s fingers shook more when he left Seijuurou’s hand, but he knew how much Seijuurou treasured winning. He had to get it together, somehow. Seijuurou was quick in his examination and Kouki really didn’t need to do much. Every time they moved from one room to another, he latched onto Seijuurou.

“Could you hold the flashlight?” the younger boy handed it to him, and Kouki was glad to have something to hold. Seijuurou directed him where to shine the light and he complied. The red-head kept speaking, and Kouki listened. It was not about anything particular, just their shared interests. Kouki liked Seijuurou’s voice. Never too loud or too quiet.

The nerves subsided to an extent, and he quickly knew why Seijuurou was speaking so much when he tended to keep his replies clipped, as if words were a limited resource he couldn’t waste.

“Thank you.” Kouki knelt beside him, pointing the light to the opened and broken compartment in the room.

“What for?” his hands roamed across the splintered wooden shelf.

“For helping me out, even if you don’t have to.”

He pulled the door close. “I have to, for us to win.” He stood up. “Let’s inspect the upper floors.”

Kouki followed along, smiling to himself as they climbed upstairs. Seijuurou didn’t need Kouki to win, he figured out exactly where the flag was before without stepping foot into the inn. If he so desired, the red-head could definitely leave Kouki to stand somewhere and find it all on his own.

The two went through the rooms, and Kouki was finally able to look through the place along with him. Seijuurou often entered first to check for anything that would cause jump scares, Kouki had yet to see any.

Time was ticking, and they could hear Tetsuya and Taiga make their way up too.

“Why is it not here?” pondered Seijuurou.

“Should we start again?”

“No, I was thorough with my inspection.”

Kouki decided to focus on Seijuurou, standing tall, clearly in deep thought. He chose to shine it closer to the boy, to observe him more clearly. He was familiar, he was safer than whatever the hell this place was. The wind still seemed to howl in agony and the overgrown trees outside cast strange shadows, but the fear did not overwhelm him.

They had to find the flag fast. They were leading, yes, but Tetsuya was smart, he would figure it out.

Riko had looked unbothered, seemingly bored. Like their efforts were of no use. It was most definitely not in the second floor. The rooms were small and they didn’t have much to look through. There were no secret trapdoors of any kind either.

That was when it hit.

Of course.

“Akashi-“ “Furi-“

They smiled. “The main hall.” They said in unison, and quickly exited the room. Running down the hallway, they reached the staircase leading below. Kouki speeded ahead, showing the flashlight forward when-

Something shot out of the side of the staircase and Kouki stumbled forward. There was a loud screech as the shadowy object flashed out in lightning speed, and Kouki screamed as he fell forward. He held onto the railing nearby, somehow. His heart beat was rapid against his chest, and he gripped tightly onto the railings.

He was about to stand up, but the stairs creaked, groaning louder than ever before.

“Ahh!”

It gave way underneath him, and with a loud crash, the wooden stair splintered and his leg fell through the hole.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” cursed Kouki and tried to pull himself out.

“Furi!” called Seijuurou and knelt beside him. Kouki leaned against the wall and tried to catch his breath.

Kouki looked at the side of the staircase, and found a Jack-In-The-Box. ‘So that’s what it was.’ It was just his foot, right up until his ankle. His foot finally got lodged out and he placed it to his side. With the help of the railings, he stood up.

“Are you okay?” 

“I- I, yeah,” he waved Seijuurou off. “I’m, I am fine- ouch!”

He took a step forward and pain shot through his left leg, which was what had gotten caught under the floorboard. He winced and slumped against the wall, holding tightly onto the flashlight in his hand to not groan from the pain. He didn’t know what happened, but it didn’t seem good.

Seijuurou held him up, and they made their way downstairs. “You would need to get it checked. Let’s leave.” Said he.

“N-no.”

He couldn’t tell the boy’s expression, but judging from the way he whipped his head, it was probably some form of shock. “You are injured.” He stated calmly, supporting him with every step.

“But we figured out where it is.”

“We are already in the lead. I truly doubt Kuroko and Kagami would find it, Kagami would surely hold him back.” They were halfway down, somehow, and the pain abated a little but not enough for him to walk properly.

Kouki shook his head. “No, Kuroko’s smart. He probably figured it out. If we drop out now, it’s going to be a tie.”

“Are you sure?” asked Seijuurou.

Kouki nodded. “Don’t lose because of me.”

Seijuurou was silent for a moment. “We cannot let history repeat itself, correct?”

“Yep,” he winced, but he bit his tongue and held it in. “You can’t.”

They finally reached down and Kouki stood closer to the entrance. He looked through the cupboards closest to him, holding onto the walls for support. Seijuurou had the flashlight with him.

About five minutes were left when Tetsuya and Taiga began to look through the main hall too. Taiga was actually helping him, and not just clinging to Tetsuya. Kouki tried to look too, but he wasn’t as efficient since he could barely get to three feet without taking forever.

‘Think, think, where would it be?’

Taiga was looking through the upper cupboards, Tetsuya was nowhere to be found and Seijuurou was looking through some large book shelf. Kouki looked around, trying to search for a place when he found the old reception desk. It was large, and was pushed very close to the wall.

No one had searched it yet.

“Akashi,” he whispered, and the boy paused his search. Kouki pointed to the desk, ensuring Taiga wasn’t looking in their direction, and he crawled to look under the large desk. It was dark, and he could barely see a thing, but he felt around and his hands landed on something hard, like wood, attached to cloth.

“Got it!” he exclaimed, but felt another pair of hands.

Seijuurou shined a light below the table.

“Kuroko!?”

“Sorry, but you will not win.” Said Tetsuya, and reached for the flag but Kouki snatched it and stood up, the leg injury forgotten. Sharp pain sparked and he fell back, flag in hand, but Seijuurou caught him. Tetsuya quickly got up, and Taiga had spotted them too.

“Pardon me.” Said Seijuurou. Before he could ask why, Kouki felt himself being lifted up and his feet was off the ground.

‘What’s happening!?’

“Akashi! What the fuck?” he exclaimed, but the boy paid not an ounce of attention to him.

Seijuurou ran out of the establishment, and Kouki had the flag in his hand, gripping onto it tightly.

“Ten points for Team Two!” announced Riko when they exited.

They stood outside, as their team gathered around them and patted Seijuurou on the back. Eikichi took the flag from his hand and waved it at Koutarou’s face. Riko and Tetsuya came up to Kouki, and Seijuurou told the two of the injury.

“You got injured!?” exclaimed Riko and examined his ankle. “Oh thank god, it’s nothing too serious.” She continued. “A couple of days of rest will make sure it’s back to normal. Akashi-kun, can you get him to the bus?” she asked.

“N-no wait!” said Kouki. “I can walk!”

Being carried out princess-style for five seconds was bad enough, but this was stretching into minutes. The joy from victory had worn off quickly from his team and Koiichi was staring at him, snickers barely hidden.

“You cannot.” Said Seijuurou. “Its fine, the bus is only a few steps away.”

And that’s how Seijuurou carried him into the bus, as Koiichi happily took a billion pictures of it, laughing all the while.

Riko put some ointment on the scratches and bandaged his leg. She knelt in front of him, looking at his leg. “I’m sorry.” She said, voice shaky.

“Eh, why?” asked Kouki.

“Last year too, and this year, the Test of Courage got messed up.” She said. “And I let one of my players get injured.”

“Coach…”

Seijuurou, who was sitting beside him, replied. “You did not mean for it to happen. It is no fault of yours.”

Riko shook her head. “No. I picked the spot.” She packed up the first-aid kit and stood up. “Next time, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen. Take care Furi.” She said and went out of the bus to handle the boys outside.

. . .

The next day, Koiichi had made sure to send the pictures to the Seirin group chat.

**Kagami** : I could’ve lifted him up I was right there!

**Kuroko** : But you didn’t

**Izuki- _senpai_** : Akashi _carried_ back victory.

**Hyuuga- _senpai_ :** No

**Izuki- _senpai_** : ;_;

**Kagami:** Why are you siding against me I thought boyfriends supported each other!

**Izuki- _senpai_ :** Kagami _legged_ behind that’s why. Get it, cuz leg, lag lol

**Izuki- _senpai_ :** EXCUSE ME WHAT

And that was how it got out that Kagami Taiga, Seirin’s Ace, and their Shadow, Kuroko Tetsuya, were dating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXTRA SCENE(which I couldn't squeeze in):
> 
> Furihata: "Akashi, how did you so confidently mention the patterns on the doors?"  
> Akashi: "I just guessed based on the entrance door's designs. I doubt they could decipher the designs in such darkness while on a time crunch."  
> \------------
> 
> Kagakuro outing themselves in the stupidest way possible, love that for my idiot sons.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news folks, I have finished writing the ending~  
> Now it's just uploads. I'm not uploading everything immediately because i need to edit a lot of it. Also, I'm not really fully ready to let go yet.   
> It's going to be a total of 31 chapters, I think(I'm sorry, I numbered the chapters differently in my laptop and i can't math so...yeah)  
> Enjoy!

It was the first day of the year.

Kouki had yet to step foot into the campus and already, things were overwhelming.

Anyone who got in the vicinity of Seirin High would be able to spot the gigantic banner declaring that their school basketball team were national champions. The first-years had yet to arrive and he quickly made his way to the basketball court. The day may start at eight in the morning for the new students, but for those in the second-year who had the misfortune of joining a club, it started at half past six.

After all, they had to set up to promote the basketball club. The previous year, their seniors had to do it. Kouki completely forgot about the recruitment thing.

Great. Talking to strangers. Exactly how he wanted to start the year.

There was another big problem as well.

Taiga and Tetsuya.

Three days ago, this information was unintentionally leaked by Taiga.

Those two, were dating.

_Dating_.

Two boys.

Yes, he too was attracted to boys, but, seeing two people act on it, knowing that there was a couple literally in his vicinity, it was just different. He felt anxious for them. There were so many things to consider. Their parents, the team’s reaction, the reaction of their classmates if it ever got out. A constant trepidation, balancing on a frayed tight rope.

Yet, they were doing it. They took the risk.

He wanted to feel happy, but the worry overtook the joy he felt for them. It was probably a long time coming. The team was fine, most were just pissed the two had not told them anything about it. But there was one problem.

Their captain.

He was a nice guy. A supportive senior, a good captain, a caring friend. But he was, possibly, maybe, probably, a little homophobic.

Kouki quickly noticed his aversion to Reo Mibuchi. Though most believed the animosity stemmed from rivalry in basketball, Kouki could tell there was definitely something more. He was never truly bothered by it. His heart was stuck in his throat and panic swelled when he outwardly insulted Reo and got fouled for it, but he put it aside.

It happened sometimes with his own family, where they would say something that made him feel wrong for just _being_. Unintentional though it was, he couldn’t completely ignore it.

Very few of them had arrived. It was just Riko, Shinji and Rinnosuke putting final touches on posters. Off to one side, looking through the uniform they would be putting up for display, was Tetsuya.

Kouki immediately greeted him.

“Good morning Kuroko.”

“Good morning.” Replied Tetsuya, and placed the uniform aside, picking up Nigou who had just come by.

“Hey, uh, did you take him on a walk?” Kouki pointed to Nigou.

“No, I haven’t. Do you want to come with?” he asked, and Kouki agreed. They headed outside and went to the back.

“So, about you and, Kagami, dating.” He turned his attention to Nigou, who was yipping and running around a tree. “I’m here for you guys, if you need any support.”

Tetsuya’s lips lifted up slightly, almost imperceptible. “That’s very thoughtful, I’ll remember it.”

“If, if you think you’re alone,” he coughed, trying to get his voice to sound more stable. “Don’t worry, I am, that is, I’m also,” Nigou had begun to chase one of the floating petals of the cherry blossom tree. “Like guys, so, we can, you know, support each other?”

“You do?”

“Yeah? And, I feel bad that you had to come out like that. I know it’s got to be tough.”

Tetsuya shook his head. “It does feel a little difficult. No one’s asked me about it yet. And Captain...” He trailed off, Kouki could only nod in sympathy.

“If anything happens, Coach will take care of it, or- or Kiyoshi-senpai!”

Blue eyes were affixed on the newly blooming flowers that painted the school in pink. “Thank you, truly,” said Tetsuya. “You were the first to speak to me about it. It was a little suffocating inside. I haven’t checked the group chat.”

“Don’t worry,” said Kouki. “Everyone was just pissed you didn’t tell earlier, and Coach was talking about how you shouldn’t let it affect you in the game.”

“Not even if it’s in a good way?”

Kouki laughed. “That, you’ll have to take up with her.”

“Kuroko!” Taiga had found them and was making his way over.

“G-good morning.” The tall boy greeted the two, avoiding Kouki. Taiga very rarely looked unsure.

“You don’t need to worry!” Kouki smiled in assurance. “Congratulations, to you two.”

Nigou ran back to the front. The three followed him to ensure he didn’t disturb anyone else. He turned a corner and panted as he ran.

Holding up Nigou, was Junpei.

It look less than a second for the relatively easy mood to turn sour. None of them spoke a word, and Junpei looked at the couple standing before him. Tetsuya showed no reaction, but Taiga’s jaw was clenched and his hands were fisted by his side.

“Aren’t you even going to greet you senior?” asked Junpei.

“Good morning, _senpai_.” They said in a mismatched chorus.

Junpei glared at them, specifically, Taiga and Tetsuya. “If you two end up acting the way Teppei and Riko did, I’m kicking you out!”

“Is that all?” said Tetsuya deadpan as ever.

Taiga exclaimed. “You wanted more?”

“And no shenanigans in the locker room! Ever!” said the captain. “Now get back in and help everyone.”

The three of them bowed and ran back in, Nigou opting to stay with Junpei who decided to hang back.

“I’m glad he reacted well.” Said Tetsuya, shoulders not as tense as before. 

“If he didn’t I’d have punched him.” Replied Taiga.

Kouki laughed. “I’m going to tell on you to him.”

“You wouldn’t.” taunted Taiga.

They met with the rest of the team and slowly, everyone began to ask about their relationship and teased them endlessly. Tetsuya replied with the most boring answers, but Taiga was a goldmine for information, so he was the main target for interrogation.

“Man, who’d have thought,” Koiichi collected the posters. “Those two actually ended up dating.”

Everyone often made fun of the two, they acted just as close as Shinji and Rinnosuke, perhaps even closer.

Fukuda smirked with confidence. “Of course, the signs were everywhere. They called each other their ‘light’ and ‘shadow’, and they are always eating together at Maji Burger, and even when we hang out as a team, those two sit together…” he began to ramble and Kouki decided it was better to zone out.

The team headed out and set up the bench for registration. “So when did you start dating?” asked Kouki.

“When we won against Rakuzan.” Said Tetsuya.

“Whoa, that’s, almost half a year.” Marvelled Kouki.

They teamed up as the influx of first-years came in. It was a little difficult facing the increasing crowd, but Koiichi turned out to be really good at calling attention, and they ended up recruiting around seven of the newcomers. Riko seemed overwhelmed with work, taking down everyone’s names.

Kouki searched around for potential students. The ones that were into sports were pretty obvious. Wrist bands, pins, specific shoes, and so on. It felt a little creepy, but once he started noticing it, he couldn’t really stop.

He spotted a boy with a Chicago Bulls pin on his backpack, donning ASICS Gelburst shoes. It was as if he was screaming to get recruited. Kouki pointed him out and the trio began their promotion.

“Oh, I’ve been searching for this.” He snatched up a poster. The boy was extremely tall, almost rivalling Taiga, with long black hair that brushed his shoulder. “Where do I register?”

They pointed to the desk and the boy headed to Riko.

“Wow, how’d you know?” asked Koiichi.

He could show-off a little. “The devil is in the details, young one.” He replied smugly.

They finished up in an hour and headed to the opening ceremony. It was dull, and nothing had really changed. They were still together in the same class, which was expected since the student population was small.

The bell rang and a new teacher entered.

They were second-years now.

He was a year older, and the cycle would repeat itself as it always did.

Classes went by, he tried to pay attention since it was the first day. Fresh notebooks and stationary, crisp uniform, added responsibility. It was all so new and strange.

In due time, the classes ended. He was a little giddy to see how many new recruits they got. The five second-years went together. Kouki expected, perhaps, twenty or so new members. When they entered the gym though, it was packed with new faces.

“Oh my god,” Kouki gasped. “What the hell is happening?”

Tetsuya smiled and they changed out of their uniforms. Riko came up to them and asked for them to organize the students. Most of the first-years looked excited. Taiga was trying, but the newcomers were more interested in interviewing him than listening to him.

He was a bit of a celebrity among the basketball fanatics.

Kouki cleared his throat and promised them they can speak with him later. It was bit nerve-wracking, but they didn’t sneer at him when he stuttered through the explanation so it was fine. They got organized into lines and Riko stood in front of them.

“Take off your shirt.”

And there it was, the shocked exclaims.

Kouki waved at them to calm down, understanding their pain. He went through it last year as well. “It’s, it’s okay guys. It’s just for Coach to make the training menu.”

Most were still apprehensive, understandably so, but they followed her command. Kouki noticed that the boy he recruited was also present, standing out like a sore thumb among the crowd. He was the only one who hadn’t questioned Riko’s request, and his gaze was unwavering even when she examined him.

He looked every bit a basketball player. He was extremely tall and well-built, it was like watching another Taiga.

After that was done, the second and third-years began practice.

Things were fine for the first two days. More than half the firs-years had quit after seeing the gruelling training, which was expected since it happened the previous year as well.

It came to a screeching halt on the third.

The guy he recruited, Asahina Daigo, definitely the star among the first-years, said something which decided to latch itself onto his mind.

“I can be useful to the team. I’m better than the current guys who are benchwarmers.”

It wasn’t said with a sneer, or a glare, or in a mocking tone of any kind. It was told in the way one said that the earth was round.

Kouki couldn’t even retort. He really was better. After Coach had informed them about the new recruit, Asahina Daigo, he got curious and went through ‘ _Getsu Basu’_ to figure out who he was.

He was another one of those players to whom basketball was as natural as breathing.

“Furi, don’t let it get to you.” Said Taiga. “He’s just a prick.”

They decided to go out to eat after practice and were at Maji.

“Yeah, I won’t.”

Lies. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t. During the training camp, he had some hopes of playing more in the coming year, but the chances of it grew slimmer with a guy like Daigo on the team. He was doomed to the bench.

To be honest he was fine with the bench.

Until Rakuzan.

Heck, even till before the camp. But there was something in him now, a new, greedier part of him that wanted to play. Coach would definitely put Daigo in before she would him, and Kouki knew it. They were lacking a good centre after Teppei left, but with him now, their inside was strong again. Or will be, once they played and practiced their strategies.

Shun was obviously the better Point Guard as well, and he commanded Daigo’s respect.

He never really thought of their underclassmen.

Everything felt useless.

He really couldn’t compete with a guy like that.

His phone rang and he looked at the contact.

Seijuurou.

“Guys, I’m heading out for a bit.” Kouki took the call, and stood outside the establishment.

“Hello?”

_“Good evening Furi.”_

“Hi,” he replied. “How’s second-year treating you?”

_“It’s going well, though the underclassmen for the club seem useless.”_

“Eh? Why? What happened?”

Seijuurou sighed. _“They think they’re entitled to a position in the first string due to the fame of their parents or their financial status. Fools. Money won’t get the job done in a game.”_

He chuckled. “I’m sure you can whip them into shape.”

_“Furi, are you alright?”_

How? How did he get that from across a phone call? It baffled him, though he had been doing it for months. “Hey… do you think, well, how do I put this?”

_“What happened?”_

“Well, there’s this- guy, first-year kid, and he made a good point. Asahina Daigo? I don’t know if you’ve heard of him-“

_“I have, his school had come second in the National Middle School tournament. He’s an exceptional player.”_

“Wow, yeah.” Kouki observed the cars and bikes that passed by, students walking back home after school. “He said, that he’s better than us, than me. And he’s right. The other teams are getting stronger too, and I want our upperclassmen to win in the final year as well,”

He really, really, really wanted to play beside them.

“But, I’m not that good, and I might just drag them down-“

_“So you wish to quit?”_

Did he? Was that where it was going? “No, I-“

_“Whenever you speak like this, it angers me. Because in the final match, even if it was a fluke, even if it was to slow down the game, Seirin threw_ you _at us._ Us _. Reigning champions._

_“And even if it was a complete accident, you scored against us. During the training camp as well, though you lost all games, the last two games were close calls. The point differences had reduced from two digits to one.”_

There was a pause, but Kouki knew it was not for him to respond.

_“In saying that you are incompetent, you are saying that those who faced you, and lost against you, were just as bad as you, or are worse than you.”_

“No! That’s not what I-“

_“Do you consider us unworthy of standing on the court?”_

“That’s not what I meant!”

“ _Then prove it_.” Said Seijuurou. “ _You do not need anything other than effort to prove him wrong. He has yet to face us, but he underestimates those who have.”_

He closed his eyes, he wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.

“Thanks.” Said Kouki. “I don’t know, I let it get to me, though I shouldn’t have.”

“ _You are always welcome_.” Replied Seijuurou. “ _I called to inform you of something, by the way.”_

Right, he had called first, yet he had spilled all of his feelings to him. “What’s up?”

“ _What you had said, about getting help. I got it.”_ He said. “ _It is terrifying, and I do not understand how it will go, but I will try.”_

He wanted to jump for joy. “That’s amazing!”

“ _I need to debrief my father first.”_ There was a rare hesitance in his voice. “ _I am not sure how he will take the news.”_

“Best of luck, I’m sure you can do it!” cheered Kouki. “You’re Akashi Seijuurou after all, and you are _absolute_. Am I right?” He teased.

Seijuurou’s light laugh was heard over the line. _“Yes, yes I am. I will keep that in mind.”_

“Furihata-kun.”

“Waah! Kuroko!” The boy was standing beside him, he must have come out during the phone call.

“Is everything alright?” he asked.

Kouki held his chest, heart beating quickly. Even after a year, he couldn’t get used to Tetsuya’s sudden appearances and disappearances. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” He returned to the call. “I need to get going. If you need to talk about it, I’ll always be here. Best of luck Akashi!”

_“Thank you. Goodbye.”_

“Bye!” he cut the call and turned to Tetsuya.

“Can we practice that play today? We’re all here anyways.” Asked Kouki.

Tetsuya nodded. “Yes, we can.”

. . .

Their shining moment came when Shiniji injured himself.

It was a practice match, the third-years versus the second-years. Daigo was put in to replace Shinji. It was obvious he was looking down on everyone, and he had not even acknowledged Tetsuya.

‘Exactly what we want!’

Kouki was giddy. He had been practicing this with the rest of the second-years since before the training camp. A style of play meant to show Seirin’s teamwork.

Stealth All Court man-to-man defense.

Their seniors had perfected it with Tetsuya and Taiga, but they couldn’t just rely on them for it. Everyone had to be well-versed in playing it out since one could never tell who would need to go in. Tetsuya was integral to it. But a lot of the responsibility was on him too.

When Daigo got past Koiichi, ready to catch Shun’s pass, Tetsuya easily deflected it to Taiga.

“The Phantom Sixth Man.” Daigo whispered.

He never got his hands on the ball after that, and the second-years won.

“You guys actually mastered it.” Commented Shun.

One of the other underclassmen, Yagi Yuuta, began to speak about the match with great enthusiasm.

“I heard everyone practicing in the court near my house.” he said. “That’s when I got inspired, and I, I really wanted to join you. Even if I can’t keep up with you, I’ll try my best.”

Yuuta was a small, timid looking boy with ash blond hair. He almost looked like Tetsuya sometimes, but with Kouki’s demeanour.

“That’s why he joined,” began Daigo. “But I joined because of Kagami- _senpai_. I hear Seirin beat Rakuzan, but I couldn’t see the match.” He pulled at his long hair. “To be honest, I was planning on getting into a smaller school, ‘cause I’m pretty dumb, but Kagami- _senpai_ was really cool, so I joined here.”

A dumb guy with amazing basketball skills.

‘A Kagami replica!?’

Taiga was really not taking the news of having a fanboy well. “Why were you glaring at me if you like me?” he accused.

“Glaring?” Daigo looked confused. “I was staring at you, so I can copy you. ‘Cause you’re really cool.”

Things were seemingly going fine, and Kouki approached him. “S-So you joined because of Kagami?”

He nodded. “I get that you’re all okay enough, but I still don’t think you can play. Kagami-senpai’s on another level. Kuroko-senpai too.”

Kouki felt his throat close up, but he held on to Seijuurou’s words. “Then, next practice match, let’s play together.”

“Huh? Together?”

He nodded. “Against Kagami.”

‘What am I saying!?’

“Why should I care?”

Kouki cleared his throat and in a moment of adrenaline-filled bravery, he looked up at the boy. “I’m not the best all on my own, you’re right. But I’ll make sure to get you everything you need to win.”

He tilted his head, as if contemplating. “Fine. You’ve got a deal Furihata.”

Daigo walked away, and the moment he was out of sight, Kouki collapsed onto the floor. Most of them were out, but Tetsuya and Yuuta were still around.

“Are you okay?” asked Tetsuya.

“Uh, I have a favour to ask?” Kouki stood up.

. . .

The next practice, Kouki requested Coach to put Daigo and Tetsuya on the same team as himself. He had yet to speak to Daigo, but he had to now.

“Mark Kagami but don’t try to shoot if you are doing that, just pass.” He requested. Daigo looked sceptical, but nodded.

They began to play and it was, difficult, to say the least. His team was pretty strong. Junpei, Tetsuya and Shinji were with them. Junpei and Kouki covered the outside while Kouki and Daigo worked on the inside. Tetsuya acted in between. He had discussed it with Junpei and Tetsuya, the day before and it was a bit of a new plan. Kouki had never exactly actively done strategic plays, ever. He was support, he went along with what the others planned.

The rest of them helped fix it up a little, but he was confident in it for their input.

He breathed deeply and slapped himself on his cheeks, trying to get into the right headspace.

‘I want to play beside them! I want to play.”

The shrill whistle announced the beginning of the game and things were set into motion. Their opposition was fast, and with Shun, who specialized in speed, it was difficult to keep up. They had to keep the ball under their basket for as long as possible, but Taiga was way too good. He had grown to not depend on Tetsuya and was powerful on his own. It was something they were glad for but now, it was proving to be a nightmare.

They were keeping up because of Tetsuya’s passes and Junpei’s three-pointers, but his accuracy was reducing as the quarters progressed. Third quarter began and Kouki travelled up to the right and attempted to get the ball to Daigo, who was under the basket, but the ball was with Taiga.

He signalled to Junpei to set up a screen, then Shinji knocked the ball out of Taiga’s hand and passed it to Kouki. He quickly handed it off to Daigo who scored. Their scorers were Junpei and Daigo.

Daigo’s scoring rates were pretty high from the distance as well, and he helped get a lot of the rebounds. Kouki had to work on making sure Shun didn’t get the ball across the court. Tetsuya worked with him to slow him down.

Kouki mostly stuck to the inside and made sure the younger boy was open. Initially, it was difficult to slow down Shun, which led to the opposing team getting a good lead, but they were catching up again

Tetsuya passed to him, and Kouki winced at the power behind it. He really had to wonder how on earth Taiga consistently caught those passes. He was at the three-point line and he held his arm up to shoot, but Taiga had quickly come in front of him. He never planned on shooting, it was a fake. He ducked down and passed to Daigo. Taiga’s air time was pretty long, so getting him to jump was the goal, so he couldn’t intervene.

They won with a three point difference and Kouki wanted to faint.

‘Holy shit that worked!’

He sat on the bench, barely believing that more than half the things he did actually worked. But then again, Junpei and Tetsuya were on his team.

“I still don’t think you’re that great.” Daigo sat beside him. “You were basically using all of us.”

He couldn’t deny that.

“But we won so,” Daigo shrugged. “Guess it’s not too bad.”

Before he could reply, the taller boy was headed to the showers. Kouki sighed and freshened up, changing into his uniform again.

“See ya, Furi- _senpai_.” Said Daigo, and went out.

Kouki paused at his locker, unable to comprehend what just happened.

“Dude!” said Koiichi. “He called you _senpai_!”

The entire week, Daigo had strictly called him ‘Furihata’.

‘Did it actually work?’

He held his locker’s door, and tried not to smile too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Asahina Daigo & Yaagi Yuuta aren't OCs. Most scenes with Asahina and Yaagi are canon(the part where Furi asks Asahina to play w/ him is all just the fic). I found the extras translated, if you're interested and haven't read it, it's easy enough to find. Asashina seriously gave me 'basketball idiot' vibes. If KNB had continued into 2nd year, I'm sure he'd have been like Kagami, and Kagami would've been a good senpai to him.
> 
> 2) The thing Furi tried is based on the European Ball Screen Offense. I have no idea if this is a basic asf play or a difficult one, or a subpar usual play but in my head he modified it for the line-up he's using.   
> https://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/offense/european-ball-screen-offense.html  
> that's the link to where I got it from, if you're interested.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, a chapter I'm hesitant about. there's nothing triggering here hopefully, there's discussion of Akashi's DID. That's all. I'll explain some things further in the end notes.

After spending almost a month away from Kyoto, Seijuurou had gotten used to a certain freedom that was offered only when free from surveillance. Technically speaking, no one monitored him in the dorms, but he was Student Council President, and there was a certain decorum he had to maintain throughout the day.

He missed that empty apartment that somehow grew warmer with every visit from his friends. It worsened now, where he sat a few chairs away from his father, eating dinner. He avoided visiting him, but this was the one of the rare days his father visited Kyoto. They were seated at the villa in Kyoto, which neither often visited.

He had forgotten that utensils produced sounds, because when he spoke with Kouki after cooking meals, there was not much room for anything other than their words.

The silence would have to be broken soon though, to be replaced with a conversation that would prove to be more stifling. His father finished the meal and said his thanks.

“Father,” Seijuurou paused over his food. “I would like to speak with you.”

“Finish your meal. I will be in the study.” He walked out of the hall, not leaving space for him to protest.

Seijuurou looked down at his platter and heaved a sigh. He did not know whether he could work up the nerve again. But, he had been under pressure multiple times, and he had gotten out of it without trouble before. He quickly finished his meal and hurried to his father’s study.

Inside, the man was reading a book, his reading glasses were perched on his nose. His attention quickly shifted at Seijuurou’s arrival.

“What did you wish to speak about?”

The red-head stood farther away from the table. The lights were dim since the night had taken over sunlight, and there was a bright reading lamp on, casting shadows over Seijuurou’s figure. He took comfort in the fact his expressions would not be clear to his father.

“I have set up an appointment with a therapist at the end of the week.” He said, words a little too fast for his liking, a difference his father would have taken notice of.

“It is good that you came to this decision, but I am disappointed that it took so long for you to do so.” He replied, eyes scanning the book in front of him. “Chiyo-san is considered one of the best in his field, I expect you to take full advantage of his expertise.”

In this, lay the problem.

His hand itched to do something other than lay at his side to abate the tension. “My appointments are with another person. I have mailed their details to you.”

A pause, as if he were evaluating, searching for errors in his judgement. “Very well, you may leave.”

Seijuurou nodded and quickly exited the stifling, empty room.

With that, the first obstacle was out of the way.

. . . .

The second obstacle, was much different.

He had dealt with his father many times, and results were often favourable when one worked in environments they were familiar with. Unfortunately, this was unchartered territory.

No matter, he knew he would eventually adapt.

“I’ll introduce myself, though, based on the mails, I’m sure you know enough about me.” The woman said, a notepad and pen in her hand. “I’m Itou Akane, I’ve done my masters in child psychology and clinical psychology, and my doctoral thesis was based around Dissociative Identity Disorder. I’ve been providing therapy and counselling for sixteen years now, and I worked as a professor as well. Currently, I practice independently.”

“I am aware.” Said Seijuurou. “I assume you know enough about my issues based on the mail.”

She nodded. “Yes, you were very concise and to-the-point in your mail.” she smiled and adjusted her glasses. “But, I’d like to hear it from you now. Would that be alright?”

He did not understand the point of repeating himself but complied. “My name is Akashi Seijuurou, I am sixteen years old and am in the second year of high school. I scheduled this appointment to understand my issues with regards to, a voice in my head.”

“A voice in your head?” she repeated, and he confirmed. “Could you elaborate?”

“It is a very distinct voice. A voice with a personality, one that was just as well-defined as mine.” He explained. “He had no name, but I called him my brother, and he is far more competent than I am.”

“What was he like?”

He thought about it. Ambitious? Cruel? Aloof?

“He was kind, in his own, strange way. Though many would disagree.”

“Why do you think so?”

“His methods were,” there was no nice way to put it. “Unconventional.”

“Unconventional?”

His actions were cruel. Simple as that. But his intents came from a place of caring. His brother often did things to protect him, to ensure he was safe from the cutting words of his father. “His priority was our safety. Therefore, when anything had even the slightest chance of causing harm, he would eliminate it.”

“Eliminate?” she asked, and Seijuurou nodded. “How so?” she queried further.

He was tired of recollecting this event, he felt like a broken record when he spoke of Teikou and everything that occurred then.

“Did you wish to stop this at any time?” she looked up from her notepad.

“Multiple times, but I could not.”

“Why not?”

There, he hit a roadblock. Why couldn’t he? He never felt in control when his brother took over. At the best of times, he could only see the things that occurred, like his life were a movie, playing out in long stretches before his eyes. At worst, there were large blanks in his memory,

“I am not sure, I cannot describe it.”

He tried to think of why he never stopped anything, why he couldn’t stop anything. Everything was happening before him so why? He tried at times, when he could see what was happening, but those arguments were always a dead-end since his brother rarely listened. He often felt like he was talking to himself rather than him.

“It’s okay.” She assured. “We can speak about this at a later date if you’d like.”

“Yes, that would be best.” He replied.

The session continued and they spoke of lighter matters. Things he had grown used to speaking about, things he had acknowledged and moved past. The clock struck four and the session ended. They bid their farewells and he walked out feeling relatively the same.

It was not life-changing, but speaking about the past at length for such a long time was a first. He had given away small pieces of information, but he had never spoken of it in a timeline. It gave a little more insight into what occurred before, and what it possibly entailed.

He stepped into the car, and on his way to the dorms, he pulled out his phone. There was one person who had to know of this.

“Hello, this is Akashi.”

_“Oh, hey, what’s up?”_ replied Kouki.

“Today was my first session with the therapist.” He looked out the window, the building he had visited disappeared into the cluster of concrete structures that muddled the skyline.

_“Whoa! That’s great! How’d it go?”_

There was stigma around this, the kind that made one feel like they were inherently wrong for relying on such help. But when Kouki spoke of it, it was akin to getting a physical injury treated. No one would shun a person for getting bandages for scratches.

“It went well. I will be visiting her once a week.” He replied.

“ _Oh, that’s good to hear.”_ He said, intonated with relief. _“How’d your dad react?”_

His father had not reacted much at all. There was neither anger, nor any protests from his part. A simple, wordless acceptance.

“He reacted well enough.” Replied Seijuurou. “All I could recognise was that he was not opposed. I do not understand him anymore.”

No. That was not supposed to be said.

Why did he let it slip?

Kouki chuckled over the line. _“Well, parents are weird like that. To be honest, adults in general are weird like that.”_

There was no comment on his inability to decipher his father. Was Kouki wilfully ignoring it? He doubted it. “Maybe so.”

The main topic of discussion was over, but he did not want to cut the call. “How are your practices coming along?”

_“They’re going amazing!”_ Kouki sounded excited, his voice was higher in pitch as well. He began to ramble about their practices and how the formerly disrespectful underclassman had now fully integrated with the team.

This was a newer habit of Kouki’s he liked. In the initial weeks, and even often during the training camp, the brunet stuttered and pulled back his words. But on the phone, he could talk without pausing for hours.

He would know, they had spoken for over three hours the first day back to their respective cities. Seijuurou rarely interrupted, he found no need to. It was a strange realization then, that he liked Kouki’s voice, hearing him excited, hearing him happy. Seijuurou never emoted excessively. Things rarely excited him enough to cause such overt displays, but Kouki was not like that.

Yes, the brunet was quiet. But in right company, he could rival Ryouta in his enthusiasm. He was surprised to find himself a little charmed rather than annoyed. It was possibly because he never screeched or got loud. His ramblings were steady.

Like bubbles.

_“D-did you just laugh?”_ asked Kouki.

He did. The idea of it was a little comical, if he said so himself.

“I did no such thing.”

“ _I have ears.”_ He replied. _“I heard it loud and clear.”_

Seijuurou conceded. “I am reminded of bubbles whenever you speak.”

_“B-bubbles?”_

“Yes.”

_“What does that even mean?”_

“I am sure you can analyse a metaphor well enough.” Said Seijuurou. The car pulled up and he stepped out. “I will have to go now, goodbye.”

_“Fine, don’t explain, bye-bye.”_ He cut the call, and Seijuurou could almost picture the pout he often wore when annoyed.

“ _Bocchan_ , you seem happier these days.” Said Watari, his designated driver, someone whom he often depended on in the initial strangeness of Kyoto.

“Do I?”

Watari nodded, but said nothing further. Bidding him farewell, Seijuurou headed back into the dorms.

. . .

“Hey,” Kouki sat atop the jungle gym, while Koiichi hung by at a lower rung. “What does it mean when someone says you sound like ‘bubbles’?”

He almost slipped. “Bubbles? The hell does that mean?”

Kouki glared down at him. “That’s what I’m asking you!”

Hiroshi chose to sit atop the nearby slide. “You sound cute? Bubbles are cute. And they burst easily, they’re also pretty, and happy.” His eyes widened in shock. “It’s a compliment! Probably!”

“Probably?” asked Kouki.

Cute? Happy? Pretty?

But he had laughed, he heard it. Pressing his fingers to his lips, he mused to himself. “He said I sound like bubbles when I talk.”

“That’s adorable.”

He almost jumped. “Ah! Kuroko!” He was standing at the first rung.

“Who said that?” asked Koiichi. “Don’t tell me, a girl?”

He would laugh at how horribly pathetic his luck was with the opposite sex. “I wish. It was Akashi.” He stated dully. Honestly, it sounded more like a jab at him than anything else. Whatever, he had other things to mull over. Things more important than maybe, possibly, Seijuurou thinking he was, as Hiroshi had suggested, ‘cute’.

They hung out at the park for a little longer, and they each headed home as the skies began to darken. The training for Inter High was in full swing, and none of them felt the hesitance they did during the first year. Their team was strong, Kouki was sure of it. The lack of new applicants was a bit concerning, but they had a total of twelve members now.

They would be fine.

He knew they could make it this year.

. . .

People-watching was something Tetsuya had done to improve his misdirection. What was once a forced practice had now turned into a habit. For better or for worse, it expanded further, and he could predict emotions and behaviours even if he didn’t directly see the person. Voice tonality, and the things they said, along with a knowledge of their general demeanour often helped in deciphering changes.

That’s why when he found Kouki on his phone, conversing with someone with increasing frequency and length of time, he knew something was different. Not as much with the brunet, but with the person he was talking to.

Akashi Seijuurou wasn’t one for wasting time over silly recounts of someone else’s day. Not unless it served him purpose. He doubted Yagi Yuuta’s allergy to cats gave Seijuurou any strategic advantage.

Seijuurou was being frivolous.

His material flippancy was expected, since he did have an overwhelming excess of money, but he was frugal with immaterial things like time. Efficiency and purpose ruled his judgements and decisions.

This was beyond odd.

He gave him a call.

“Akashi-kun, this is Kuroko.”

_“Good evening-“_

“I will get to the point.” He intervened. “Are you romantically interested in Furihata-kun?”

_“No.”_ was the immediate reply, unhesitant as always, self-assurance at its finest. _“What made you think of something so ridiculous?”_

The air of mockery annoyed Tetsuya. He fell back on his bed and suppressed his irritation.

“You spend an awful lot of time talking with him.” He replied. He was an expert in the things that love made one do.

It made people irrational, foolish, impairing judgement.

Taiga made him reckless, he was trapped yet freed. It was unexplainable and just as stupid as the concept of being caged while flying through the skies sounded.

_“It is because he is my friend,”_ said Seijuurou. _“We cannot depend on visits. Our acquaintanceship is based entirely around digital communication.”_

Excuses. He was friends with Shigehiro, whom he could communicate with through texts and calls, and he hardly spent more than an hour speaking with him. These two, on the other hand, possibly had their phones permanently fixed to their hands.

“Do you do the same for Nijimura- _senpai_?” Tetsuya knew the two kept in touch even after he had left Teikou. A blind man could tell Seijuurou was attracted to their former captain.

_“That’s impossible,”_ he replied. _“The time differences make phone calls almost impossible. It would be cruel to keep him up late. I myself cannot stay awake long or sleep too late.”_

He was having a party in his head. “Furihata-kun was complaining about speaking with you till twelve the day before yesterday. And as far as I know, he knows only one Akashi.”

_“What do you want Kuroko?”_ he sounded angry, but Tetsuya could care less. Their local stick-in-the-mud was experiencing the typical emotions of a high school boy, and Tetsuya was invested. Shintarou was ahead of the red-head in terms of romance, which should be impossible, but Takao Kazunari was persistent, and hell-bent on getting what he wanted.

Well, their former captain could use a little bit of a spur.

“Nothing.” He said. “You have been acting strange lately is all.”

_“This, you concluded, after third-party observation.”_ Said Seijuurou _. “I happen to enjoy his company. If anything, he was who spoke for so long.”_

“And you couldn’t stop him?” what a farce.

_“It would be rude to do so.”_

“You have had no qualms cutting Aomine-kun or Kise-kun’s calls.” He perched up on his elbow.

_“I have never cut calls, other matters came up. I cannot let my duties go unfulfilled.”_ Seijuurou was stern in his argument, and he had a point.

“Then, would you be willing to speak with me until twelve.”

_“That is a challenge for yourself, not for me.”_ He said. Tetsuya was not the best at speaking. He really would not be able to speak for anything longer than twenty-minutes. Both of them were silent. But Kouki could speak at lightning speed for hours, as well as stay silent for the same amount.

It was a skill.

_“Is this why you called?”_ asked Seijuurou.

“Mostly, yes.” He replied. “I called to ask about your father too. Is everything alright?”

He took a moment, which made Tetsuya nervous. “Yes, things have settled. Actually, things are better than before.” The moment of quiet was not born of sadness, but out of a relief. Time possibly taken to understand that things were fine for once. Seijuurou had bad luck in terms of relations.

Tetsuya wondered if Shintarou had some lucky item for that.

“I’m glad.” Said Tetsuya. “That’s all, good night.” He cut the call.

Spring was in full swing, and he had to wonder, if this sense of peace was real. The clock struck eleven, and for one last time for the night, he picked his phone up from the nightstand and opened his chats with Taiga.

**Me** : Goodnight ^_^

**Kagami-kun** : Goodnight. see you tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akashi's alter is.....he's very different from the accounts I have read, so I can't fully place him in DID, as I've mentioned in previous notes. Alters in a system perform different functions, for the purpose of this chapter and to understand Akashi's alter, I'll mention very, very briefly of two types of alters(though there are multiple and they don't necessarily need to do a job or fall into these categories). 
> 
> Persecutors and Protectors. 
> 
> Persecutors often cause harm to the system, the host, the body and other alters. They abuse to keep control and they often exhibit or reenact past abuse. They often hold self-hatred and propagate negative messages within the system
> 
> Protectors are exactly as they sound. They protect the system, the host, the alter from external and internal abuse. Protectors themselves are of many kinds. Verbal protectors come in to take the verbal abuse, physical protectors for physical abuse, etc. 
> 
> Persecutors, are often a type of Protector(depends really). And Persecutors have the potential to turn into Protectors. 
> 
> This is relevant to Akashi because Akashi's brother (Bokushi) is bordering between both & I genuinely can't place him in either of these. He functions like a Protector and his main purpose was this, but he also openly looks down on the host(Oreshi) and does not hesitate in causing harm to himself(cutting his hair, claiming to seriously gouge his eyes out). I think their fronting and switches are very unregulated because of the nature of Bokushi and they don't have a Gatekeeper(regulates who fronts, who gets access to what memories, regulates subsystems, etc).
> 
> Also, though many may hate Bokushi because of the extreme actions he took, I genuinely doubt Oreshi hates him. They are brothers who have supported each other and Bokushi took the brunt of all the abuse and trauma from the looks of it. Though they have integrated, it seems like only Oreshi stuck around. It must be pretty damn devastating to have someone you knew so well for so long just saying goodbye.   
> This is also why I can't really place Akashi as having exact DID because only Oreshi seems to stay personality-wise, with only the full Emperor Eye as the overt thing of Bokushi's which stays.
> 
> Now, I'm sure I portrayed Akashi's experience inaccurately. Please comment if that is the case and I will do my best to learn and correct it all.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter starts off normal...  
> but shit. Goes. DOWN.

Being a senior came with zero benefits and a whole lot of responsibilities. Kouki could only call himself an upperclassman, and the few juniors that he knew called him ‘ _senpai’_ , but that was it. The classes got harder with every passing day.

Also, he had slight doubts about which club he belonged to, because he was not crumpled onto the polished wooden floor of the basketball court, but was on the dusty grounds of the track and field team.

Well, he went up to Riko and basically asked for this.

It was a simple enough conversation.

_“Coach, I noticed I’m pretty slow, and I was wondering how to improve it.”_

_“I do have an idea, if you want to get the results faster. Want to try?”_

_He nodded without hesitation._

Which was what got him training with the school sprints team twice a week instead of some of the regular drills. He went up to the devil and asked for an entry pass into hell.

He really didn’t know if it would help him get faster, but Riko knew her stuff. The track and field team gladly accepted him since Riko graced them with a training menu and tips for their upcoming competitions.

Kouki stood at a grand total of one-seventy centimetres, and the scale did not seem to want to budge any further than that. Even if he went all out, the court was just bigger for him than it was for the taller members on the team.

Seirin were known for their speed on the court, while Kouki functioned best in slow games. The only way to get more time was to get faster. He crawled up from the dusty ground and bid the track and field members goodbye, rushing to the basketball court.

The basketball team had just wrapped up with their warm-ups and he joined in for the drills.

He had doubts he would live to play an official game the way things were going. The matches were a week away, and they had a practice game with Kaijou. He was sure Tetsuya was the one who proposed the idea this time around. Kaijou had no opposition to this suggestion since all of Kaijou were burning for a rematch after the repeated defeats in the hands of Seirin.

The practices began and he was exhausted from the start, but could play enough to get by. He didn’t feel any faster though.

‘Would this even work?’

When the clock struck six, he collapsed onto the floor. Recently his face was more often on the ground than his feet was.

“Furi- _chan_ ,” teased Koiichi. “Should I carry you on my back?”

Hiroshi extended his hand to pull him up, and Kouki thanked him. “Man, I’m beat.”

“Of course you are, idiot,” said Koiichi. “Do you want to suddenly get a career in basketball? You’re running yourself down.”

He laughed at the thought of that. “Yes. I plan on becoming the Jordan of Japan.”

“Idiot.” Said Koiichi.

Riko gathered them one last time, clapping her hands loudly to grab their attention. “No one is allowed to practice extra in the next two days. The last time we’ll meet up is for practices for the match with Kaijou, after that, everyone should be under complete rest, and no one gets access to the court.”

Tetsuya, who often used the court for extra practice, looked unfazed.

“And no,” Riko pointedly looked at him. “You can’t practice outside either. Rest means rest!”

This put a damper on almost everyone’s mood.

Kouki had gotten used to the hectic practices. He had ended up puking the first day, but this new routine had been maintained for a little over a month now. Being commanded to do nothing was a blessing, but, he knew he would miss it, even if it was just for a few days.

. . .

The month’s efforts came to fruition during the practice match, and it took about ten seconds into the game when he realized it.

Taiga was moving up to the basket after breaking away from two players guarding him. He was almost halfway across the court, but Kouki caught Hayakawa attempting to block him. The rest of the Seirin members were being guarded and he was the only one left. Kouki ran forward and set up a screen, allowing Taiga to score.

The rest of the game, he noticed himself reaching places quicker, his legs aching lesser than it usually did. The match ended with Seirin winning by five points and they headed to a nearby restaurant for food. The menu was in front of him, but all he could do was stare at his legs in wonder. For the first time, he had a choice in the levels of his speed. 

His nerves had not bested him the entire game. This was a first. During the training camp, it took a while for him to find his footing, the fear draining from him in slow doses as he ran across the court.

He had wondered why the speed never showed during the practice game with the other Seirin members, but he often played with them right after the exercises, which sapped his energy.

‘Is this? Improvement? Did I improve?’

“You have a really weird look on your face _senpai_.” Said Daigo.

He snapped out of his daze, trying to school his features. “Eh? Do I?”

“Still do.”

“Y-you can’t call our upperclassmen names like that!” Yuuta spluttered.

“I didn’t call him names pipsqueak.”

Their banter began, Yuuta struggling to fight back. Taiga slurped his third bowl of ramen and pointed to the two. “Don’t they ever get tired of fighting?”

“It looks exhausting.” Tetsuya chimed in.

They were the last two to have the rights to complain about pointless arguments. Dating did almost nothing in changing their dynamic, which was pretty nice since the team were stumbling around wondering how to act in front of them. But, they stayed the same. 

Except for that one time they were caught kissing at the back of the gym.

Other than that, the eyes of the Seirin basketball team was not tarnished.

Thankfully, his weekend wouldn’t be too boring though there were no practices. Seijuurou was visiting Tokyo on some errand for his father and had planned to stay for a day. He wished to pay a visit to his alma mater, Teikou, and then they planned to go to Ikebukuro afterwards.

He was looking forward to it.

. . .

For an unsettlingly long while, a thought dawdled at the back of Seijuurou’s mind. It was something idiotic, but it chose to stick. He had done nothing to rid of it, because it was not worth the effort, but as the train inched closer to Shinjuku, it made itself more prominent.

Tetsuya’s voice replayed in his mind.

_‘Are you romantically interested in Furihata-kun?’_

Obviously not. They were friends.

Perhaps, he grew fond of him quickly in comparison to others, but that was because Kouki posed no threat to him. There was no ill-will between them any longer, and Kouki was one of the nicest people he had the pleasure to have met. Honest to a fault, hard-working, and someone who put his friends before himself.

Their conversations were easy.

The doors slid open and he stepped out. Kouki awaited at the entrance of the station.

“Welcome to Tokyo!” he grinned.

Seijuurou took in the familiar scene. “It is good to be back.”

Teiko was close to the station. By foot, it would take around twenty to thirty minutes to reach the establishment. They recounted everything that happened the past month, and of their predictions for the Inter High.

“I think Yosen and Touou have a fair shot. Himuro-san’s Mirage Shot and Kise’s Perfect Copy are going to be a nightmare to deal with. And even without it, he’s pretty good.” Said Kouki. They made their way down the street and the school gates came into view.

“Whoa, so this is Teikou?” he asked.

Seijuurou did not understand why he was so in awe of a simple middle school, there was nothing to get excited over. His eyes widened as he took in the view, lips parting.

“Uh, Akashi?”

“Yes?” his response was a second late.

“Why is Aomine there… and Momoi-san?” his eyes darted. “Midorima too?”

Seijuurou nodded. “We are having a little bit of a reunion, but Murasakibara cannot visit.”

The brunet halted in his tracks, replying with a stiff smile. “Then uh, I’ll be waiting, I saw a bookstore nearby, so.”

It must have been awkward for him to join them when he had not attended Teikou. But they planned to spend the day together, and leaving him to wander alone on his own would simply be rude.

“There would be no need to do so, Kuroko and Kagami will be here as well.” Replied Seijuurou. Kouki looked unconvinced, but agreed. They headed to the gates and Seijuurou greeted the three awaiting members.

“Huh? Who are you?” asked Daiki.

Kouki stiffened. “Uh, I’m Furihata Kouki, I’m in Seirin.”

“You are?” asked Daiki. “Well whatever,” he shrugged. “ _Baka_ -gami is coming too. Is this just a Seirin meet-up?”

Satsuki extended her hand and greeted Kouki. “It’s good to see you again, Furihata-kun.”

An evident blush spread on Kouki’s cheeks. “G-good to meet you!”

They began to converse, waiting for the remaining three. Kouki’s tenseness eased as the conversation progressed, but Seijuurou could tell that the brunet paid more attention to what Satsuki had to offer.

She had that effect on men.

“If I had to pick anyone,” said Kouki. “Well, Seto-san from Kirisaki Daiichi is really someone scary, I wouldn’t want to play that team honestly.”

Satsuki nodded. “They’re a strange team, they taint the game’s spirit. But they are skilled even without those tricks.”

“They would never get far with their underhanded methods they call ‘strategy’.” Seijuurou scoffed.

“Akashicchi! Welcome back!”

“Kise?” asked Midorima. The blond was bundled up in scarves with a mask over his face. He wore a large hat, and a pair of rounded sunglasses were perched on his nose. “What’s with the attire?” asked Midorima.

“Fans found me. Long story.” He looked around. “Kurokocchi isn’t here yet?”

“I’ve been here all along.”

Taiga was panting with his hands on his knees, and so was Tetsuya. “We just came.” Taiga corrected, looking like they ran.

With that, they entered the premises. The sports clubs were practicing still, and the Head Coach of the basketball team was present in the office. The Head Coach was glad to see them, and he had kept up with the high school level matches, congratulating each for their games. The eight of them went out to see the club’s practice.

Seijuurou couldn’t help but feel nostalgic observing the familiar grounds.

This was the first place where he made friends.

Before Teikou, he was alone.

No one had dared to approach him, either out of fear, or out of envy. It was difficult, but it was something he had gotten used to. Teikou showed him the first glimpse of warmth, of mutual respect and affection.

He still remembered the silly things they got involved in. The school festivals, the sports day and marathons, the after-school conversations as they walked towards their homes, each drifting away at a different turn, the sweetness of the laughter enveloping him like glowing light.

When he observed the drills, a peculiarity caught his attention. “They aren’t segregated.” He noted.

The Head Coach, Sanada Naoto, nodded. “The differentiation between first, second and third string players caused a lot of friction among them, and unnecessary animosity. This way, they can all get along and help one another.” He looked wistful. “I wish we discovered that earlier, I failed you as a coach in that aspect.”

“No.” Seijuurou contested. “I had demanded it, and the Principal approved of it. We cannot change the past, Sanada-san. You accommodated to our demands, and respected our opinions. It was our fault- No- my error in judgement, which caused issues.”

“You were always wise beyond your years,” replied the Head Coach. “I’m glad to see you kids getting along now.”

“Me too.” Said Seijuurou. Daiki and Ryouta had already begun to banter, and Shintarou unwittingly got involved. Momoi tried to split them up, and Tetsuya stood by with an almost imperceptible smile. Taiga was dragged in as well, and Kouki stuck to Tetsuya’s side.

Things had changed.

Seijuurou had supposed things were broken. Unfixable, and ugly even when put back together. But humans were not breakable things. They were clay. Things split, they changed, taking different forms as time passed. Some unpleasant, some beautiful. In the end, they can be moulded with effort. It was a matter of trying.

They were requested to address the current Teikou basketball club members, and Tetsuya agreed on their behalf. Most, if not all students had heard of The Generation of Miracles, which was expected. Excited gasps and chatter gained in volume in their presence.

Coach Sanada had requested for them to give advice. Aomine and Shintarou were begrudging, but they each delivered. Though the words varied, the message remained the same.

“Never look down upon your team or your opponents. Give your best at every game, regardless of the distance between yourself and others.”

Seijuurou bid farewell to the students and they exited the school. After some brief discussions, they left their separate ways. Kouki had been eerily silent the entire visit, but it was expected since he had no connection to Teikou.

“Akashi.” He finally spoke.

They had not moved from the tall metal gates whose grates formed extended shadows upon the pavement where they stood. “Yes?” he asked.

“Remember, at Kuroko’s birthday party, when you apologized?” Kouki’s head was bowed, and wisps of his bangs fell over his face, covering his expression. “And I hadn’t forgiven you, at that time.”

The memory resurfaced occasionally.

He thought Kouki had forgotten it.

“Yes, I remember.” Seijuurou could not forget though. It continued to baffle him why Kouki chose to befriend him even if he could not let the past go.

“To be honest, I should’ve said it a long time ago,” there was a chuckle in his voice as he spoke. “But I was being sort of selfish, I guess. It wasn’t exactly your fault, there were other things involved, but I couldn’t let it go.”

He listened intently, with bated breath. What if he had chosen never to forgive him? It would not be the first. There were many that scorned him but he did not care for their opinion. For the first time in a long while, someone else’s thoughts of him made him anxious.

Seijuurou could not tell when Kouki’s opinions began to matter.

“At first, I really couldn’t forgive you,” the brunet continued. “But then, you apologized to everyone, you were obviously trying, and you knew what the problem was and you were doing everything to fix it. Still, still I,” he clenched his fist.

“I still couldn’t get over the finals.” His voice trembled. “And I kept telling myself it’s because of you, and it was, for a while, but then it was all me afterwards. I’m the one who can’t play, the one who didn’t practice enough and tripped on nothing.”

“Furi…”

Kouki wiped at his eyes. “Uh, just, give me a minute,” he covered his face with his slender hands. “God why am I crying?” with a laugh, he sucked in a breath.

“What I’m trying to say is, you’re forgiven.”

The blood thrummed in his ears.

He could feel his heartbeat quicken. “Furi I-“

“-But,” Kouki cut in. “Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? For putting all of my problems on you?”

Yes.

The question could be re-framed and re-iterated a million times over and the answer would stay the same.

“I forgive you.”

He didn’t know what to do. Kouki was still trying to wipe away his tears, and he chuckled occasionally as he did so.

‘What would he do?’ he wondered, and found the answer immediately, though he did not feel comfortable doing so.

Seijuurou pulled Kouki into his arms and held him tight. He was on-edge for the first few seconds, but quickly accommodated. “Oh gosh I’m so sorry,” said Kouki. “I’m putting a damper on this entire meet-up.”

“It’s alright.” If anything, he felt sorry for being the reason for his tears.

“I think I ruined your shirt a little.” Said Kouki, voice muffled against the red-head’s shoulder.

Seijuurou could feel the dampness seeping through his shirt, but that could be cleaned when he returned. “I have a handkerchief, if you would like.”

Kouki pulled back and sniffled. “Uh, yeah, that would help. Thank you.”

He reached for it, and this, he could only define as something possessing him in the moment.

Seijuurou moved closer to the brunet, gently pressing the cloth against his face. It was going overboard, crossing lines he should not, but he did.

At this proximity, he could take in every detail of Kouki’s face. The way his eyes widened at the sudden initiation, the way they held a sparkle to them. Tiny, almost imperceptible freckles dotted across his nose and cheeks, suddenly highlighted by the high pink colouring them now. Kouki always had a boyish charm that many had begun to lose as they grew older.

There was a dull thumping in his chest, and something was churning in his stomach.

Akin to his first time speaking in front of an audience, or the time he had to give an interview for a magazine. Or, the time when Shuuzou laughed at something he had said. 

Little sparks had went off whenever the notification on his phone pinged with Kouki’s name, or the times when he heard him speak over the line and giddily retold some event that happened with his friends.

Flickers that grew larger.

Kouki’s hand enclosed around the kerchief, his fingers gently brushing past Seijuurou’s. There was no need to react in any way. It was such insignificant contact.

But he did.

He felt like he was plummeting from a tower.

Lips melting into a smile, Kouki replied. “You’re really too nice sometimes.”

If asked how he replied, he wouldn’t be able to tell.

The rest of the day, Seijuurou was in a daze.

They had visited a bookstore and Kouki bought some manga volumes. In an attempt to relate, he brought up Chihiro’s light novels.

“Have you read ‘A Clockwork Apple, and Honey and Little Sister’?”

“The-what now?”

“Since you are interested in manga, I assumed you may take interest in light novels as well.” Said Seijuurou. “It is the only series that I’ve read.”

“You read light novels?” he asked, gawking at the idea of that.

“Just this series, since my senior was invested.”

“Oh, I’ll check it out I guess.” He replied and went to the light novel section. “Who’d have thought?”

After buying some of the things they found intriguing, the two settled at a nearby café. Seijuurou had bought nothing, he could not care for it.

He was distracted, yet took notice of all the little things the brunet did.

Kouki smiled easily, Seijuurou noted.

When he spoke, his hands moved a lot, and he tended to be animated. It was almost riveting watching those lithe, calloused fingers moving in an inelegant dance. He could care less about Junpei’s obsession with Samurai history, or his collection of figurines.

Yet Seijuurou could not look away.

He did not feel the need to stop him. There was contentment in just observing.

“You came in the Green Car?” asked Kouki.

“Yes.”

“Wow that, must be fancy. I heard it’s way more spacious and its less crowded, but you know, the normal seats have a bit of charm to them, you can kind of get a sense of the city just from taking a ride-“ he paused, lips parted in an ‘o’. “Sorry, I’ll stop.”

“Why?” It would be a shame to do so when he looked so excited.

“It’s pretty boring.” He shrugged. “I mean, who cares about that stuff right?”

Kouki dulled and ate his cake in fervour.

“Who deemed it boring?” asked Seijuurou. “It brings you joy, and that’s what matters.”

“No, seriously,” he took up the fork and pointed at him. “I get you’re trying to be considerate and all, but it really is boring if you don’t get it.”

Seijuurou could hear a little about trains if it meant he could see the brunet so enraptured that he somehow glowed.

The way his brows moved, how his voice took on a slower cadence when he was truly invested, pondering upon deeper meanings. Then, how his wide eyes shut close, thin lashes fanning over chocolate-brown when he relaxed. He looked so beautiful-

Beautiful?

“Thank you,” said Kouki, “For listening to me, though I caused a lot of trouble.”

“Why did you choose to forgive me today?” asked Seijuurou, to keep him speaking, to keep observing.

There were obviously other explanations for why it was that word which had popped up. He was growing up, and taking note of people he found attractive was just common occurrence. It was an objective observation.

“Well,” began Kouki, his fingers running through the short tresses that fell over his eyes. He had never noticed before, but Kouki’s nails were blunt, and they looked as if he had bit them, “I was always feeling a little guilty over it, but today, I knew I had to.”

“Why?”

There was a sudden rush, an urgency to find answers and clear things up. He was being barely coherent with such monosyllabic responses.

Kouki tended to avoid looking into people’s eyes.

But today he had have grown bolder. “When you were speaking with Sanada-san, you said you were wrong,”

Which, Seijuurou knew he was. It was fact. How did that explain anything?

“That’s when I got it,” Kouki placed his hand on the table. Seijuurou could not see his face clearly a second ago but now, he could not escape it. “It takes courage, to say that you are wrong, and only people who know themselves can own up to it. For the longest while I thought, ‘he’s just better at doing stuff’, but I was so wrong,”

Sparks growing stronger. Rising from the embers.

“You’re a good person first, before you’re a captain, or school council president, or all those other titles. And you don’t deserve me being ignorant to that to weigh you down in some way.” He explained. “That’s why.”

There was an overwhelming, indescribable thing welling within him. Sweet honey, scorching magma. He did not know whether he wanted it to stop or keep going.

“I know I already asked, but I want to ask again, do you forgive me?”

_‘Are you romantically interested in Furihata-kun?’_

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 26 chapters and 70K+ words of this fic.....we finally have actual romance???  
> Who'd have thought we would see this day through all my wandering around?   
> I hope the pay-off was nice.   
> We have resolved a huge plot point which was left hanging as well ;) But another one begins.   
> Akashi my son has finally realized he has a heart!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please excuse me horribly low amount of knowledge on basketball

Problems are an integral and inevitable part of life. They are key to change, for better or for worse. People handled them differently, and one can never tell what the correct response to countering a problem is.

But there was an issue within the concept itself.

What some may consider a problem, others may not.

The problem with problems is that they create more. They keep piling on.

This left Kouki to assess a particular situation that had yet to go through the assessment of whether it fell into the convoluted category mentioned above. To be exact, it was a person, who was causing this dilemma.

Two weeks prior, he had met Seijuurou, and as was routine for him, he embarrassed himself. This time he did so by crying. But ever the gentleman, Seijuurou wiped away his tears, and let him keep his kerchief. The English alphabet ‘A’ was embroidered onto the cloth. It was soft, and he held onto it like a lifeline the entirety of his visit, and Seijuurou had asked of him to keep it.

He looked at the cloth in his hand, soft cream white with golden borders, contrasting unpleasantly with his old, black armband, as if it was telling him that they were not meant to be together, even for a moment.

They were in the locker rooms, preparing for the next match in the Inter High. They had progressed from their block, and now competition with teams from other blocks had begun. The team they would be facing was a challenging one.

Fukuda Shogo.

Ryouta had come to their school specifically to warn Tetsuya and Taiga to crush Haizaki Shougo with no mercy.

He looked at the soft fabric. He carried it around like a fool every day for every game like some lucky charm.

Statistically, it would be impossible for Seirin to lose. They were champions and though Teppei was missing, Daigo was a major asset and proved himself to be a powerful centre. With his and Taiga’s team play, they were fully covered inside and out.

It would be relatively easy to defeat the ace of Fukuda Shogo. Avoid giving him moves, stick to the basics and use those against him. The ones whom he could copy were Tetsuya, Taiga, Juunpei and Daigo, since they had specific moves they specialized in and used as trump cards. Shun’s Eagle Eye cannot be copied as long as he avoided using Eagle Spear against Shougo. He would not be able to copy Taiga and Tetsuya, since his abilities didn’t extend that far.

The other troublesome player was their scoop shooter, but they could stop that as well.

Riko had managed to find moves which their ace often repeated, and as with Ryouta, if things got difficult, the strategy was to induce the copies.

Most of the game was dependant on the basics, the game would test their fundamentals.

“Let’s go.” Said Hiroshi. Kouki folded the kerchief and kept it in the side pocket of his duffle bag.

The game began with the third-years in the starting line-up. They planned on using Taiga and Tetsuya as little as possible, giving way for the third-years and the other second-years. They did not need to use their biggest assets in every tournament, though it did dampen the duos’ mood.

Their plans hinged on Shougo’s inability to function with a team.

But when the team entered into the light of the court from the hallways, it was clear that things would be nothing like the previous year.

For one, Haizaki Shougo was almost unrecognizable. His dreadlocks were replaced with short, silver tresses, and there was an unmistakeable fire in his eyes. Kouki noticed that their team captain was at the front, and Shougo at the back.

This was a different person.

Tetsuya, who stood beside him by the bench, had his eyes affixed to the audience stands at their right.

“Kuroko?” he looked to the seats as well, and found nothing of particular interest.

Except for Ryouta, none of the other Miracles were watching this game so there was no one who would steal his focus. “What happened?”

“Nijimura- _senpai_ is here.” He replied.

His breath halted, just a second.

Nijimura Shuuzou?

But he was in America. How could he be in Tokyo, watching a high-school level game? It had to be impossible. It couldn’t be.

“Oh, your former captain?” he tried to sound calm, but he could not tell if he was convincing.

Tetsuya nodded, and Kouki sifted through the crowd, trying to find this boy.

To find the person who was good enough to have Akashi Seijuurou fall for him.

“Where is he?”

Tetsuya pointed to the railings at the balcony seats, and there, standing at the front with his arms folded, was Shuuzou.

This boy, no, clearly a man, was beyond handsome. He had to be in college if he was a third-year in middle school when the Miracles were in their first-year. The stands were a little sparse since it wasn’t a finals or a semi-finals match, and he stood close, hence his features were clearly visible from Kouki’s standpoint.

He was classically beautiful, a perfect blend of cutting edges and soft lines. His shoulders wide, and hair ink-black, with piercing grey eyes. He looked ahead at something.

No, someone.

Shougo.

_“Nijimura-senpai saw himself in Haizaki. He believed Haizaki would follow the same route as him if he was nudged in the right direction.”_

Was that it?

Was he the reason why?

How would that even be possible? For so much change to take place over so little time.

“He, isn’t the same as he was before, is he?” Kouki looked at Shougo, knowing the answer.

“No.” Tetsuya sounded content for some reason. “I don’t think he’s on Kise-kun’s level anymore, but…”

“…Even a powered-down Kise is a tough one to deal with.”

Tetsuya affirmed this. “I don’t think he’d cause trouble, but I might need to go in this game more often than planned.”

This was proven in the first quarter. The third-years expected difficulty, but the teams were basically on par with each other at the moment. Shougo had managed to copy Eagle Spear and had used it against Shun, which put a damper on morale. Regardless, Shun was tough, and he ensured that they were in the lead and stuck with their usual plans.

The only ones confronting Shougo head-on were Shinji and Shun, even still, it was predominantly Shun.

When second-quarter ended, they were at the same score.

“Kuroko-kun, Furihata-kun, you’re going in next quarter.”

It was understandable, putting up with someone that fast would drain anyone. For whatever time he would play, he had to make sure he protected the stage set by Shun.

Kouki quickly marked Shogo. Tetsuya dealt with passing and got the ball into Junpei’s hands as often as possible. He was glad that they were calm. Junpei’s three-pointers were quickly widening the gap, but Shogo’s rapid twos made sure they caught up.

Kouki switched marks and headed to stand under the opposition’s basket. Fukuda Shogo’s morale had to be broken, and the easiest way to do so, was to dissuade their ace. Shougo himself could be strong, but the rest of the team would be affected by surface level errors.

Shougo easily got past Tetsuya and headed closer to the basket, but Junpei and Kouki double-teamed on him. Smirking, Shougo entered into Moriyama’s formless shot.

Unfortunately for him, Junpei knew how to stop it.

Junpei explained to Shougo they knew his moves with a victorious grin, though he accumulated plenty.

Trash talk could really help one out in games.

This led to Fukuda Shougo losing their momentum and being rather impulsive. They brought out the big moves, the ones they had been waiting for. Taiga was switched with Shinji and by third quarter, Seirin were in a ten-point lead.

“Stupid brat!” someone yelled from the stands, and he found that it was Shuuzou shouting at Shougo.

“Shut up for once will you?” a yell back.

They were in a heated argument, and Tetsuya chuckled at the two. “Same old _senpai_.”

The next twelve minutes were brutal. Fukuda Shogo had regained their spirit with a single-minded focus. Still, it was futile.

Kouki got to play in the last quarter, which was actually fun, though high pressure.

In the past two weeks, he got to play in the games more often than not.

As his experience grew, Kouki learned one thing; people wore their hearts on their sleeves in games. A select few bothered to hide their intentions on their faces. The key, was to take in those, and flip them around. Which was easier said than done.

Most, if not all the players he went up against had underestimated him. There were no records of him prior to high school, and even still, he had not played enough to be under anyone’s radar.

Which was fine.

There couldn’t have been a better situation.

They were not wrong in their evaluations either. He was weak.

‘But cowards and weaklings are most careful right?’

The opposite held true to an extent, and here lay his chances. After Winter Cup, he found something important which was staring at him in the face all along.

Information was invaluable.

Riko was his Coach and somehow, it took him a year to understand this.

Unlike Tetsuya, he couldn’t gauge minute details, but he could understand a person to an extent through observation.

When supplied with data from hours of watching videos and taking notes, he could find some holes, chinks in armours, a weakness he could exploit.

No matter how skilled a player is, if their composure is shaken, they were easy to get past.

So when the player in front of him braced themselves, Kouki gulped and widened his eyes. And when their shoulders relaxed on the ball at his supposed panic, he looked to the side they found most advantageous, showing them blatantly that they were supposed to move there. As they did, he struck.

Once again, easier said than done.

Seven months to be able to actually put it into practice.

He felt a little like he was cheating. This was not basketball, this was just straight up manipulation. It didn’t depend on physical skills or on prowess.

It felt wrong

‘Is this seriously my basketball?’

When he had showed it to Riko and asked the same, she tilted her head in question, like he had asked something moronic.

_“You aren’t breaking any rules right? So what’s wrong?”_

Coach approved, could he really say anything? Still, he didn’t use it often, only when things got tough and he had to get out of a pinch.

They got by because of Daigo and Junpei, and Taiga’s entrance in the final quarter, winning with a twelve-point lead.

They bowed to each other and headed to the locker rooms. Tetsuya, had disappeared somehow, like he always did.

“I’ll go search for him.” Said Taiga, but Riko held him back.

“The last time you ‘searched’ for him, you two were in the bathroom together.” She examined the remaining members in the locker room. “Furihata-kun, make sure these two don’t get ‘lost’ again.”

Great, he was chaperoning this time.

They found him in less than five minutes outside the stadium. It was mostly because of all the commotion outside. They opened the doors and found their target.

“ _Senpai_ , how could you not tell us you were here?” Ryouta was enthusiastic.

“When did you get back?” Tetsuya asked. The two were conversing with Shougo and Shuuzou.

The first captain of the Generation of Miracles was truly something. Kouki didn’t know how he played, never got the chance to watch, but he could tell when a player was powerful. It was often in the way they carried themselves, a self-assurance and ease that was obtained only with a certain level of strength.

“I got back about a month ago,” he slung an arm around Shougo’s shoulder. “And found this punk at a bar. College applications and classes flooded me a bit so I couldn’t tell anyone but Akashi.”

“Akashicchi knows you’re here?”

He nodded. “First one who got to know.”

Taiga glared at the blue-haired boy. “Oi! Don’t just disappear!” Tetsuya promptly ignored those complaints.

Shuuzou eyed Kouki and Taiga, and the brunet felt… strange. “Is this your ‘light’?” Shuuzou asked with a tinkling laugh, observing Taiga.

Tetsuya nodded. “This is Kagami-kun, Seirin’s ace and Power Forward.”

Extending his hand, wearing a smile that could rival toothpaste commercials, Shuuzou greeted him. “Nijimura Shuuzou, _nice to meet you_.”

‘Was that English?’

 _“Oh, you sound pretty fluent.”_ Replied Taiga _._

With a warm grin, he replied. _“I was in the states for about four years, so I had to get good quick.”_

Kouki believed himself to be forgotten. It was a Generation of Miracles gathering after all, and the last time one of those happened, he faded so well into the background, one wouldn’t be able to tell him apart from the railings and the lampposts.

“And this is Furihata-kun, our Point Guard.”

‘That went well for about five seconds.’

No escape was in sight, so he greeted him. The entire while, he couldn’t look away from Shuuzou and he did not know why.

The little time that they did spend speaking with each other, Shuuzou was warm and kind, but also brash when speaking with Shogo and Ryouta. He switched easily between two languages and was charming even without trying.

He had imagined a lot of things when he heard of Nijimura Shuuzou.

The person before him was nothing like it, but exceeded everything by a mile.

Things made so much sense.

When he traversed along the sidewalk to his home, he tried to sort this feeling. A churning in his stomach, ugly and liquid. An itch. An attached annoyance blanketing him in a pestering stickiness. His hand wandered to the side of his bag and he took the handkerchief.

He remembered the soft press of it against his cheeks, the shining red eyes that had looked into his own. Short and wispy laughs, light and floating like feathers.

After showering, he settled into his bed, holding the handkerchief close to his chest. The room was quiet, but his blood thrummed in his ears.

It was not sparks. It was not fireworks.

To have found this now…

Like this?

He knew what this was, felt this enough times to not dawdle around it.

He liked Seijuurou.

He fucking liked Akashi Seijuurou.

And just like his cherry-red hair, there was an obnoxiously large sign over his name that simply read ‘NO’.

Because Akashi Seijuurou might be gay, but he sure as heck was out of his league by a million miles.

He could not think of a single word to precisely describe how strangely beautiful he was. And Kouki had the privilege of having looked at those abs during training camp, and even a blind man would be able to tell that Seijuurou shouldn’t even be a person he should consider dating.

He remembered that day vividly, and he guessed that should have been an indicator.

They were finished with the run and were scattered on the sandy shores. Kouki did not remember what unflattering position he was in, but Seijuurou was seated with a knee propped up, the other leg sprawled in front of him. With one hand, he lifted up his shirt and wiped at the sweat on his forehead.

Everyone did it at least once, hell, he himself did it countless times!

The exception was that Seijuurou had the face of an angel and the body of a sculpted dream. Humans should not look so perfect. His skin was blemish-free, unlike the onslaught of pimples everyone faced, excluding Tetsuya, who also had the fortune of escaping that. His muscles could put anatomy books to shame. The only other person who was that defined was Taiga.

They were basically the same height yet Seijuurou had broader shoulders, and, somehow, smaller hips.

Seijuurou didn’t just act like a prince, or look like one, he _was_ one.

Which left Kouki.

He didn’t even need to pull up his shirt to know there was no competition. He saw what Seijuurou’s standards were already. Generation of Miracles or nothing.

He was competing with a man who looked like god, for a man who ruled over said gods.

Seijuurou was clearly not over Shuuzou, judging from the last time they spoke. The two had stayed in contact, and Seijuurou was the first and only person to know of Shuuzou’s arrival.

‘Are they already…?’

No, he was jumping the gun. They shared everything with each other at this point. Somehow. After the training camp, they grew much closer. The distance felt like nothing when they spoke with each other daily.

He looked at the innocent piece of fabric that started this dilemma.

Classification confirmed. This, was a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I accidentally posted the same thing twice in the same chapter. It's been corrected now. Thank you to LittleAppleBlossom for pointing that out! This won't happen again 
> 
> A condensation of this whole debacle:
> 
> Akashi: "Furihata-kun is my sunshine, my sweetheart, he's so beautiful and I love him, oh my goodness *insert blush* "
> 
> Furihata: "DAAAAAAYUM AKASHI IS HOT AS FUCK I'D TAP THAT- but I can't because he's way out of my league and he's so pretty ahsdgdh *insert gay panic*"
> 
> K my love for Nijimura is showing, but like, come on, he's so hot. Imagine having the power to control the disasters gays that are the Generation of Miracles + Haizaki. Smexy, legend behavior. Also that hair? Those lips? That pout? Those EYES? THOSE SHOULDERS!? My thirst knows no bounds.


	28. Chapter 28

“Dude, why are you so distracted today?”

Kouki wished he could answer Hiroshi. “Is it that bad?”

He nodded. “You almost headed home today instead of getting to practice, you were staring out the window in the middle of the class and you were talking to Satoshi from the other class thinking it was me for a solid minute and-“

“-Okay that’s enough.” Kouki replied, exasperated.

He was used to having crushes. It was an old process of realizing the feelings at a singular moment that drew the line between casually accepting the other person’s existence, and suddenly looking at them like a beacon of light constantly shined on them.

There were certain policies to his romantic endeavours which he never crossed.

No crushing on friends, and no crushing on people out of his league.

This time, he defied both.

Crushing on friends was a pain. He had seen boys in his class fumbling around girls they were friends with and completely destroying their regular dynamic, confession or no. It would end up in failure no matter what.

Kouki tried to bury the feelings, but it resurfaced like an unrelenting seedling, wrapping roots around his heart and screaming about his crush on possibly the most handsome boy ever. He met a lot of students because of the basketball matches, he knew what the average was.

Seijuurou was way past norm in more ways than one.

Which meant Kouki was supposed to move on. The crush would amount to nothing.

Yet.

He looked at the handkerchief.

‘Speaking of…’

Seijuurou had not messaged him in three days, neither had he called. It was a little strange but he let it slide, since the boy was busy generally buried under all the responsibilities placed upon him, things he managed to hold up with grace.

He missed their conversations. They had to often interject to ensure that they did not spend hours on just talking. Kouki hated it when they had to stop, wanted it to go on till he did not need to care about time. He yearned for at least a simple ‘hello’-

No.

Wrong track.

Still, it was strange. Seijuurou often messaged him and the radio silence was a little suspicious.

Kouki breathed in deep, a mistake since they were in the changing room, and shut his locker’s door. “Hey Kuroko, know what’s up with Akashi?”

“What do you mean?” Tetsuya sounded neutral, as he always did.

“He hasn’t talked in about three days. Something wrong?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Message him.”

“Yeah, uh, good idea.”

Bad idea. Bad idea! He couldn’t message him in the state he was in. Kouki forgot social norms in front of his crushes. Most of his romantic interests were people whom he viewed from afar, people he did not have to interact with. Pining from long-distance worked best for him but this, he had to act sane around him and pretend he didn’t want to be held in his arms and brush his hands through those scarlet tresses-

This would be impossible.

But as he had learned over the few months, exposure therapy worked best for him. Scared to death of crowds? Play right in front of them. Having nightmares about a guy stabbing you with scissors? Befriend him.

The first thing he did when reached home was call Seijuurou.

The rings went on, and on, and on.

Four days of quiet.

He scrolled through his contacts, bored, and found a name.

‘Reo-nee should know.’

They had kept in touch, but rarely messaged each other. He had to initiate with a different topic first. Looking through the hundred pictures of Nigou he took, he picked a cute one and sent it. The response was immediate.

**Mibuch Reo(Rakuzan)** : Oh my god he is so precious!!!!!

**Me** : Yeah, I thought you shouldn’t miss it.

**Mibuchi Reo(Rakuzan)** : good call! So how’re you doing lately? Heard you guys are moving up your blocks pretty quick.

**Me** : I’m doing good. Glad to see you’re keeping track of us, we’ll meet at finals!

**Mibuchi Reo(Rakuzan)** : ;) We’ll see about that.

That was a decent initiation, he hoped it would not be too abrupt of a shift. 

**Me** : How’s Akashi doing? I haven’t heard from him in days.

**Mibuchi Reo(Rakuzan)** : He has a lot going on right now, so.

**Me** : His dad again?

His phone rang loudly, startling him. 

“Hello Reo-nee.” He said, fingers still a little shaky from the sudden call.

_“Okay, Sei-chan told me he talked about a lot of things with you. So tell me how much you know?”_ Severity was oozing from his tone.

Something was definitely wrong.

“What if he told me something he didn’t tell you?” Kouki asked, knowing he sounded a little conceited. Seijuurou was closest to Reo and Kouki knew that the older boy knew a lot.

Still, a little bit a caution never hurt anyone.

_“I know he told you about visiting his therapist.”_ Replied Reo. “ _Look, things aren’t going well for him right now, and he never told me exactly what he was going to therapy for, or any details. Do you know what’s up?”_

Kouki mused. “No, that’s about all he told me too. But what’s going on?” It sounded like Seijuurou was in trouble somehow. “I thought his dad was fine with all of this?”

Sighing, Reo replied. _“It isn’t his dad. I don’t know what happened, but he isn’t coming to practice anymore.”_

Seijuurou? Possibly the biggest basketball nerd after Taiga, was not showing up to practices?

“What? Why?”

_“I don’t know.”_ He groaned. _“Coach isn’t saying anything, and I can’t even get in touch with him. He’s been like this for a few days, I don’t know what to do.”_

“Is there anything else you know?”

_“No.”_

Kouki scratched at his hair, ruffling it wildly. “I’ll keep trying to call him. Let’s, let’s work something out. I’m sure he’s fine.”

_“Tell me if you get something okay?”_ said Reo.

“Mn.” Kouki nodded. “And, maybe, could you do the same here? If he talks to you?” he requested.

Reo replied. “ _Of course.”_

They cut the call and he began to call Seijuurou again. It was impossible to picture Seijuurou not playing. He was meant to be on the court. He was captain as well. He took his responsibilities seriously and would be the last person to just quit on them.

The coach didn’t have complaints though.

Why?

**Me** : Reo-nee, who’s in-charge now?

**Mibuchi Reo(Rakuzan)** : I’m acting captain

**Me:** Is he still in the club?

**Mibuchi Reo(Rakuzan)** : Coach said this is temporary action, but from the way he said it, and Sei-chan’s response, I don’t know

Things got infinitely more troublesome. Kouki worried at his lips, dialling Seijuurou again and again. It looked senseless, constantly calling, but he had to.

It took forever to get anything out of Seijuurou, and even still, when he talked, he did so of his own volition.

He just hoped things hadn’t gone back to the way they were before. He looked genuinely happy these days.

The ring ended. _“Furi stop calling.”_

His blood thrummed in his ears, lips trembling. “Akashi! No wait- Just hold on a second!”

_“Do not call me. I will contact you later-“_

“-Why does that sound like a lie?” the words were barely apart, said in a frenzy to keep him on the line a little longer.

There was silence. He could almost hear his own breathing, and the last rays of sunlight heated his skin. Seijuurou sounded dull, confused. His voice had trembled as he said those words.

_“Do not assume things baselessly.”_ His voice was hoarse. _“You know nothing.”_

“Then tell me.” Kouki begged. It was always like this. He shouldn’t have known a single thing about Seijuurou but he did. He didn’t know everything but it was more than nothing.

They weren’t nothing.

He couldn’t just sit there and follow along like a puppet to whatever Seijuurou said.

_“You wouldn’t understand-“_

“Try me will you?” Kouki asked with desperation. “I helped clean your bathroom, with your laundry, and taught you to cook for weeks, and, and stopped a billion almost-fires. Just try me.”

It was so quiet he could almost hear the howl of the wind outside his window.

“Where are you?” asked Kouki, anything to hear him speak.

_“The park near our school.”_

“Are you alone?” 

_“Yes.”_

“I’ll tell Reo-nee to get you-“

_“No.”_

Arguing with Seijuurou was impossible, he always won. Pretty words put in a convincing tone. He could argue against gravity if it meant victory.

But this time, Kouki would have to push until he couldn’t and continue still. “You can’t be alone right now.”

_“Do not tell me what to do.”_

“Then tell me what _you_ want to do.”

Seijuurou scoffed. _“I cannot have it.”_

“No, you can!” replied Kouki. “You can get anything you want just say the word.”

_“Then I want you here.”_

He must have misheard.

“What?”

Seijuurou wanted him there? In Kyoto? That made no sense.

_“Goodbye Furi-“_

“No wait!”

The line rung dead.

Kouki groaned into his pillow. Why was he so difficult? It was like Seijuurou was allergic to getting better and loved embracing his hamartia. He had to wonder how Seijuurou got anywhere with how self-destructive he was at times.

An insane idea planted itself in his mind.

He was going to regret this so much.

Kouki almost cried when he pulled out his piggy bank to check the savings. It was for a new train set. He had been saving up for a while and it had accumulated over the year.

. . .

On the train to Kyoto, Kouki tried not to wallow over his now spent money. It was still spending money on a train.

‘I am going nuts. That’s what happened. I’ve lost my mind.’

According to his family, he was at his brother’s new apartment which he had rented with his friends for college, and was staying the night with him. A half-truth. If the Kyoto trip was ended in failure (the most likely end to this endeavour), he would crawl back to his brother’s apartment.

Kouta had not questioned his choices, just that he would kill him if he got into trouble.

Kouki had gotten the location of the park from Reo, and just prayed Seijuurou was there almost two hours later. If not, this was a waste of time, money, and he looked like a psycho. He was acting like one, there was no escape.

Travelling four-hundred kilometres for a recently realized crush when they simply asked for it was truly irrational behaviour.

Instead of calling Seijuurou, he messaged him a picture of the train.

**Me** : I’m on my way.

The response came ten minutes later.

**Akashi Seijuurou** : Don’t lie.

**Me:** I am. I’ll be there in about forty minutes.

**Akashi Seijuurou** : I don’t trust you.

**Me** : Just sit tight I’m coming.

Seijuurou was using contractions. He never used it in text.

Kouki didn’t know what on earth happened, and he just hoped Seijuurou was alright. The train couldn’t go faster and he grumbled and fidgeted the rest of the forty minutes of the ride. Once he got off, he picked the station closest to Rakuzan and ran the rest of the way. The map Reo had sent was pretty straightforward and the park was close enough to the station.

The streets were confusing, he did not know how and where he was, but the locals helped out a little as he made his way through the place. He was sure he lost his way about ten minutes ago.

This was futile. It all seemed so useless, but he had to get to Seijuurou. He promised.

His phone vibrated in his hand and he picked up the call without looking at the name. “Hello?” he panted, tired from the disorienting hunt down unfamiliar streets.

_“Where are you?”_

“Akashi?”

_“Are you truly on your way to Kyoto?”_ he asked.

“Well, I’m already here.” Replied Kouki. “Just, wait a bit, I’ll be there I promise.”

_“No, stay at the station and I’ll meet you.”_

“But-“

_“Stay there!”_ Akashi exclaimed. _“Don’t defy me on this.”_

His regular confidence was infused into his tone again and Kouki rejoiced. “Got it. I’ll stay.”

“ _Good, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”_

Kouki got the directions to the train station and left. Once he reached, he stood by the entrance since the inside was too crowded. It felt awkward to stand alone, purposeless, when everyone moved around in a maddening rush.

“Furi!”

He spun to the direction of the voice, and found Seijuurou running towards him.

Kouki met him midway on the sidewalk, and Seijuurou huffed, heaving as he bent over and held his knees. It was strange to see him exhausted since he rarely tired, even when going through Riko and Coach Shirogane’s training menus.

“You,” said Seijuurou. “You are absolutely insane!” he stood back up, cheeks flushed and eyes rimmed red.

“Why did you run all the way here?” asked Kouki. “Are you okay?”

His words went over Seijuurou’s head, he doubted the boy was even listening to him. “Why on earth are you travelling such distances on a school night? Why did you do this?”

The answer was simple, and Kouki decided to embrace his newfound insanity. “Because you sounded like you were in pain, and you asked.”

“And so you decided the best solution was to travel all the way here to do what?” asked Seijuurou, voice still coated with exhaustion. “Comfort me? Tell me things will be alright?”

Well if he put it like that. “Yeah?”

“You are ridiculous.”

There was a mantra in his head which repeated on a loop, the only thing keeping him from hitting himself against the lamppost. ‘Embrace the insanity’.

“I guess I am.”

“Idiot.” It stung a little, but Seijuurou neither looked nor sounded serious.

“I know.”

“Do you not know how stupid you sound?”

“I know.”

Seijuurou sighed, and leaned his head against Kouki’s shoulder. His heart skipped multiple beats and it wasn’t just butterflies in his stomach. They had evolved and fluttered like wild crows and his intelligence seemed to have flown away as well.

“Why are you so moronic?” asked Seijuurou. “Why?”

He chuckled. “I ask myself every day.”

“I can’t play basketball anymore.”

Seijuurou’s head felt heavy on his shoulder, and he could feel his sweater being pulled at by those hands that gripped at his arm, nails digging in. “I’m not allowed to play anymore.”

His throat was parched. “What?”

“My therapist,” his voice warbled. “She said I cannot play competitively, and that I should avoid it.”

“B-but, but you love basketball.” Kouki did not know where to begin. He didn’t understand. It was stupid to keep him away from his passions, it made no sense whatsoever.

He pulled Seijuurou closer. Weren’t therapists supposed to make things better? Why was she ripping away the one thing that seemed to have kept Seijuurou tethered? “Are you sure she’s any good?”

“No, she was right.”

“She can’t be.” Replied Kouki. “She’s an idiot. Why would she even say that?”

Basketball without Seijuurou? It was ridiculous imagining the season without the king of the game on the court. That was his kingdom, no one had the right to take away his throne.

Seijuurou held him tighter. “My problems, all of them began with basketball.”

“No they didn’t, they began with,” he couldn’t so openly mention his father. “With other problems. Basketball helped you.”

“I wouldn’t have caused all this trouble if I had learned to accept my shortcomings.” Seijuurou sounded resigned. “The only thing I have faced defeat in is basketball, and it is where most of my complications arose. This might be for the best.”

Kouki held him closer. Seijuurou had not even changed out of his uniform. What was he supposed to say? From what he heard from Tetsuya, the one-on-one with Atsushi was what started the domino effect.

Except, his first defeat was what brought back him back, it was what made him smile and play with his team. “But don’t you want to play? A lot of good things happened to you too.”

“I- she informed my coach, and since this is prescribed by a professional, my father and the school approved of this decision.” He replied, voice even. “I cannot play in the Inter High, and I do not know when I would be allowed to play with Rakuzan again, if ever.”

Life must have had a grudge against Seijuurou. Perhaps it was some cruel compensation for how good he was at everything.

“Wait,” said Kouki, recalling the words. “You just can’t do it _competitively_ right?” Pulling back, he held Seijuurou by his shoulder. “Then you can play for fun with your teammates outside!”

He shook his head. “Coach strictly informed me not too.”

He scrambled for anything substantial, something that could make this better. Seijuurou looked defeated, and it was a look that never suited him. “Th-Then! Play against me!”

The insanity was clearly spreading wide quickly. “Play against me then, because I’m not competition, and you can take it all out on me.”

Seijuurou shook his head. “No. That would be cruel.”

“Are you underestimating me?” he asked.

“You just stated that you are no competition.”

“Exactly!” Kouki rejoiced. “So it’s not competitive at all for you, and you still get to play basketball.”

Seijuurou folded his arms. “You will be leaving Kyoto soon, and then I would have no one to play with.”

“Then play streetball!” replied Kouki. “Those guys suck anyways compared to you and none of the good players ever play, trust me, I participate in it a lot and even I can get past those guys. And it’s fun!”

Seijuurou looked unconvinced.

“Okay, play against me today.” Bargained Kouki. “Don’t dismiss it before you try.”

Seijuurou gave him an once-over. “Are you sure? This will be draining for you.”

“I can at least make a good punching bag.”

They weren’t kidding when they said love was blind. He was volunteering to get annihilated by Seijuurou.

But he didn’t care.

Conceding, Seijuurou replied. “Fine. But I do not have a basketball with me.”

“I don’t either.”

They headed to a sports shop and bought a basketball. The two stopped at street court nearby.

Without a word, Seijuurou shed his uniform’s coat, Kouki took off his own hoodie and bag. The game began and Seijuurou looked like he was ready to kill. It started without fanfare and the game progressed as expected. Kouki was getting slaughtered. It was a little pathetic but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just stood his ground and did everything in his power to get a basket.

Seijuurou was not going all out, but he was still formidable.

Within a minute, Seijuurou scored. “Why?” he asked, and Kouki tried to knock the ball out of his hand, catch him off-guard, do anything.

He made another shot. “Why is it always like this?” demanded Seijuurou. Kouki could only listen and focus on the game, sweating already.

“I do everything!” Seijuurou cried, face pulled into a scowl, dribbling the ball at lightning speed. “I sacrifice everything over and over again!”

There’s a difference between controlled madness and unhinged chaos. It was a matter of principle that one can get close to the fragile division that differentiated ‘not feeling well’ and ‘losing your shit’. No one stepped past this line.

No one was willing to do it.

It was weakness, vulnerability.

It was deformity.

But sometimes, you have to do it. Unleash the pent up disaster which piled on and on for years.

For some, the limits will never be hit if life was kind to them.

Others may not be so lucky.

“Why the fuck does everything keep going away from me?” Seijuurou yelled. His velvet voice that was as steady as ocean waves surged into rumbling tsunami. “Am I unworthy? I am unworthy right?” he screamed these words as he broke past Kouki, leaving the brunet on the ground. He threw the ball, it banged against the headboard and swirled on the hoop, finally going in.

The ball bounced out of the court.

“In the end,” said Seijuurou. “I will never truly get what I want. Whatever I have built will eventually crumble away, be stolen from me, because I am undeserving.”

“Akashi.” He called, pausing.

“I am weak, horrendously flawed and though I am given things I break them.”

Kouki scrambled up, ignoring his scratched knees and approached Seijuurou. “You aren’t weak, you’re the strongest person I know.”

“When people look at me, their eyes tell me everything. Pretentious, haughty, arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate, cruel, heartless.” He chuckled, a painful hiccup. “A disappointment.”

“You aren’t, you aren’t any of those.” Words spilling, he hoped the truth was louder than Seijuurou’s cries.

“And when it’s not that, it’s pity. Like I am broken.” He finally looked at Kouki. “Is that not why you are here?” His lips tugged into a murky smile.

“No.” Replied Kouki. He knew that the last person that should be looking at Seijuurou with pity was him. “You aren’t any of those things. You are- you are smart, and kind and,“

The most beautiful person he knew inside and out.

Yes he wasn’t perfect but who was?

He wasn’t as godly and untouchable as everyone made him out to be. He was just Seijuurou, who really liked sweets, reading books and getting into endless, redundant debates over movies because he was hell-bent on proving his point.

Seijuurou, who couldn’t do laundry no matter how hard he tried but could make a decent omurice.

Seijuurou, who had cat’s tongue.

Seijuurou, who mouthed lyrics to songs in cartoons and thought no one would notice, and the boy who made horrible jokes in an effort make those around him smile.

“And you are the best version of yourself.” Kouki continued. “You don’t need to be anything for anyone. And, and this is just temporary, whatever this is. You can come back again, I know you can.”

“I doubt I can do anything in the state I am in.” He sat on the ground, knees up with his elbows perched on them.

Kouki crossed his legs and sat in front of him. “You can, you can try and if it fails-“

“Then I’ll fail?”

“You might,” he replied honestly. Sugar-coating things wouldn’t cut it, Seijuurou always read him well. “But if you do, just try again. Losing doesn’t mean things are over. It’s like, a comma, or a speed breaker. You slow down but you don’t stop.”

“But I am not supposed to be like this.” Seijuurou pointed to himself.

“Like what?”

“Losing control.”

“Who told you that?” asked Kouki. “You can be whatever you want.”

Seijuurou rubbed at his eyes and forehead. “You truly are something. Travelling all the way from Tokyo to tell me I might lose.”

That pep talk could have gone better. “That’s not what I meant!”

Seijuurou laughed. “This, this is why I lo-“ He stilled.

“What?”

“Loathe you, you numbskull. I hate you.” He scoffed, punching Kouki’s shoulder.

“If you want to vent again,” began Kouki. “I might not be able to come to Kyoto but, just call me. Don’t go into hiding.”

“I was not in hiding.” He huffed. “I needed time for myself.”

Kouki eyed him with suspicion. “You could’ve said that to Reo-nee. He was freaking out. Tell him that you’re at least fine, or something.”

Nodding, Seijuurou pulled out his phone. “I will, he has also been spamming me with calls and messages.”

“You have so many people worrying over you, just check in with one of us. Idiot.” He immediately covered his mouth. He had never openly said anything so incriminating to him, even as a joke. Cussing was still a bit of a grey area and he avoided doing it. “I mean- that is, you aren’t, the thing I said! At all! I didn’t meant it, it just slipped out-”

Seijuurou smiled. “Kouki, it’s alright. I know that you are joking.”

Wait.

Did he hear right?

Was he going deaf?

“Did, did you just use my first name?”

There was no mistake.

“No, I did not.”

“But-“

“I called you Furi as I always do.” He replied. “It’s eight now. You need to leave immediately if you want to get back on time.”

He gasped and looked at his watch. “Shit, my brother’s going to kill me. It’s going to take three hours to get back.”

“Three hours?”

“Yeah the Hikari takes about that much time.”

“Then take the Nozomi.”

Kouki could only ever dream of that with how much money he had left. “I can’t afford it.”

“Then, I will pay for you.”

Getting money from Seijuurou just sounded wrong. It was a lot of money as well, he couldn’t afford to repay it. “No, you don’t have to. I planned this badly, it’s my problem.”

“I insisted that you come here, it is my responsibility as well.”

“You didn’t insist I just rushed here-“

“When I come to Tokyo, show me around and I will consider it as repayment. Is that fair?”

It wasn’t fair at all, but Seijuurou had that look on his face which said defiance was futile. “Fine, I accept. But you’re forcing me.”

“It is a fair deal.”

. . .

“You absolute fucking shit-head what the hell were you thinking?” his brother screamed when he opened the door to his apartment to invite him in. Kouki said nothing as he entered and took off his shoes.

“Leaving to Kyoto, without mom and dad for hours and for what?” Kouta was infuriated. “What the fuck was so important that you had to do that? Are you trying to run away from home? Did you get into an argument with them?”

He put Kouta through the wringer for half the day, he might as well tell the truth. “My friend was going through some stuff and needed help.”

“And this friend didn’t have anyone nearby to help him?”

“He wasn’t accepting any of that help, so.”

Kouta eyed him. “Wait, who is this friend of yours?”

“It’s Akashi.”

“That guy? The one you whose apartment you went to all summer?”

He nodded. 

His brother eyed him conspicuously, and heaved a sigh. “I’m not going to ask now, but you owe me big time after this.”

He was just glad he let it go so easily. Kouta could be annoying but at the worst of times, he had his back.

Putting his bang down, he winced.

‘The kerchief! I didn’t return it!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I KNOW someone's probably wondering about the fact that Akashi is barred from basketball.  
> Me and my friend, Silver_Porch, had a discussion on this. KNB is about basketball and hence literally everything in it is basketball drama, so even Akashi's issues were intermingled with basketball though the root cause of it is different. I can't get him out of Masaomi's parenting because Akashi would never do anything that dumb. He experienced his first switch with his alter in basketball, specifically when he felt pressured.   
> It's clear that unlike his other responsibilities, Akashi enjoys b-ball, and thus actively wants to be no.1 in it.   
> A lot of his worst moments happen with basketball, specifically, with competition. So I thought, if he should heal, he needs to get out of the idea of being the best. B0ball went from fun to debilitating for Akashi, so, he needs to find the fun in it again.   
> Remember 'Saikou no Present'? Where he was SMILING SO FUCKING WIDE playing against GoM. It was a no-pressure game and them having fun. 
> 
> I think he needs that often, and not just occasionally. Having the freedom to take things lightly. So....for now, he won't play. 
> 
> Also, liberties were taken with the train timings. He realistically can't go and come back that fast in the trains, but....this fanfiction. Worse things have happened in movies and in canon(TEENAGER AIRWALKING, becoming invisible in a game, being able to predict the future) i'm sure train semantics isn't the worst of it.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR THE COMMENTS AND KUDOS GUYS IDK HOW TO HOLD ALL THIS HAPPINESS! THANK YOU AND SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER(and in the replies )


	29. Chapter 29

Reo had an eye for things. Perhaps, never in detail, possibly intuition, but he knew when things were happening, when they were off. It was in the way events fell into place on the daily that made it easier to understand how things would proceed.

Life was filled with patterns, and he had a knack for identifying them. Everyone was a bit of a cliché after all, no matter how hard they tried not to be.

Everyone fell into these little designated routes. Even him. And even Seijuurou.

Except, people loved to be different, and ignore emerging patterns to enforce their identity as something unique. That’s why a third-party had to intervene often to show what they were missing.

“Sei-chan, you need to give me a minute to process this.”

His treasured junior had disclosed a lot to him in a short span of time. He said it in the way he gave annual budget reports for the school clubs. The first half was about his sudden disappearance from the basketball club. He tended not to pry unless Seijuurou exhibited some detrimental behaviour. It was fine. Seijuurou had just told him why he could not play, and it seemed reasonable enough.

The second part, however, was a confetti explosion at his face.

“Okay, so you like Furihata-kun?”

“Yes.”

“And he travelled all the way here yesterday because you asked?”

“Yes.”

“And you are now asking me about how to get rid of these feelings you have for him?”

He nodded innocently. “Yes, that is correct.”

“Why do you want to get rid of these feelings?” Reo asked. “They are mutual.”

Seijuurou set him with a stern gaze. “They are not.”

“The boy travelled all the way to a different city just for you at the drop of a hat.” He recounted. “You don’t do that for ‘just friends’. He is clearly interested.”

The younger boy was unconvinced. “I highly doubt it. He is a kind person, he would have done that for anyone.”

“Unlike us,” Reo continued, exasperated. “Spending ten-thousands of yen on a spontaneous train trips is not a common occurrence for people like him.” He explained. “It is cheap for us, but for those who aren’t in our class, it is a huge decision.”

“I repaid him.” Was his curt response.

“But he did not expect that.” He retorted. “Honestly, when he asked for your location, I doubted anything would come of it. I thought he just wanted ensure where you were. But he actually came to find you.”

The boy made him feel ashamed. Seijuurou was right around the corner and he hadn’t approached him or comforted him. Love was strange and surprisingly beautiful.

“If you are still unconvinced, he contacted me after weeks by baiting me with Nigou’s pictures to inquire about you.” Said Reo.

“He really loves the dog.” Seijuurou’s voice was taut with annoyance.

“No, sweetheart, he likes you.”

Seijuurou did not take that statement too well. “I want to get rid of these feelings.”

“I don’t understand why.” Reo he argued. “It seems mutual to any outsider. I will not tell you a thing unless you give me a proper explanation.” They had time. It would be another thirty minutes till practices started.

His shoulders squared. “I cannot deal with frivolous things like dating. Getting distracted by such feelings at this time…” he mused. “I am already considered incapable. That woman,” Reo assumed the resentment meant it was the therapist, “sees me like I am crippled. I cannot afford anymore weaknesses.”

He twirled with his hair. “Sei-chan, no offense but I think your therapist is right on this matter.”

“She is not.”

Typical ‘Sei-chan’ and his endless stubbornness. “You need a break. You need to fully get the time to explore your love for basketball. Competition means your desire for victory overpowers your enjoyment.”

“What are you saying Reo-nee?”

“Your therapist is right, and love is not a burden.” He said. “Honestly, it might be a good way for you to relax.”

Seijuurou smiled, challenging. “Really? Has love ever been relaxing? There are genres dedicated to the complications it causes in life.”

Fair point. “Fiction is exaggeration. We love the drama, the pining, and the grand gestures. But in reality, it’s much simpler, and honestly, more boring.”

But the way things had gone with these two, the drama was abundant.

“I came here for solutions but you are encouraging me to run head-first into the issue.” said Seijuurou.

“What I’m saying is, this isn’t an issue at all.” Reo tapped the table for emphasis. “I don’t know much about Furihata-kun, but he doesn’t seem like a bad kid at all. And this is the first time I’m hearing you like this, give it a try. Relationships could be really nice you know?”

He’s had partners before, and one serious relationship. It hurt when it was over but the time spent with them would remain a treasured memory. If Seijuurou were aromantic, he wouldn’t push, but he was so clearly in love with this boy, and the boy definitely returned these feelings as well.

Seijuurou deserved nice things.

“This is all under the assumption he reciprocates, which, he does not.” Stated Seijuurou.

“Travelled to Kyoto for you.” He repeated. “Added to that he taught you how to cook and helped you out for the two weeks you were alone. Another thing,” he placed his elbows on the table with his hands folded and rested his chin against them. “He played against you, alone, when no one would do that other than the Miracles and us. That boy is a coward-“

“He is not a coward.”

Silly Seijuurou. He was truly, completely gone for this boy. The red-head only ever used such a tone when agitated, which he almost never showed outwards.

“My bad.” Reo apologized, throwing his hands up. “He is so much weaker than you, yet he let you vent by playing with him. Regardless of whether it’s competition or not, playing against a Miracle would crush your spirits.”

He knew very well. He, along with Eikichi and Koutarou lost in a three-on-one against Seijuurou and it had distressed him for weeks. Reo knew he stood a semblance of a chance against Seijuurou but that Seirin point guard couldn’t even dream of it. Still, he let himself do that.

It took a certain kind of courage.

‘Look at that, he wasn’t just baselessly defending that boy.’

Seijuurou curled his hand into a fist, a frown marring his features.

“No, don’t feel bad about it.” Said Reo. “He chose it. You just said he is no coward, he will be fine.”

“So what do you suggest I do?”

Finally, he was on track. “Confess.”

“No.” he replied and took up his bag.

“Sei-chan just hear me out!” he pleaded. “This is a fool-proof solution.”

“How Reo-nee?” he pushed back his seat. “I would only embarrass myself and ruin a friendship we have built over months.”

He was confident nothing of that sort would happen. “If you confess and he reciprocates,” which was obviously the case. “Then you gain yourself a boyfriend and a pleasant relationship. And if not,” Unlikely, Seijuurou was a fairy tale prince. “The possibility of a relationship will disappear and the feelings will fizzle out since it’s completely one-sided.”

Ruby eyes stared into cerulean blue. It was quite unnerving when he did that, but it meant he was considering the option.

“Would that truly help?”

“Wait so you’re considering getting a boyfriend?” he cheered.

Seijuurou looked away, eyes on the setting sun framed by the window. “It would be pleasant to have him, be my,” he trailed. “And I could, be his…” his cheeks coloured and he gripped at his bag tightly.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Said Reo. “You’re going to be fine Sei-chan, this is going to be so great!”

“When do I do it?” he wondered out loud.

Reo called his attention, waving his hand. “We’ll be going to Tokyo for the finals the week after this! You can come with.”

“If you do not recall, I have been banished from the club.” Said Seijuurou.

Reo tutted. “No darling, you’re not allowed to play, but, you can come along for other purposes.”

. . .

That was how Akashi Seijuurou, former captain of the Rakuzan basketball team became their manager and analyst.

No one had objections since the advice only entailed that he does not play. Everyone could watch and help out with water bottles and taping. There will be no way for him to encounter potential triggers.

It was difficult to hold back from giving commands and correcting form when he saw errors but Reo and their coach’s glares prevented him from doing anything. During meetings, it was almost impossible to stand by and listen since there were errors, they veered off-topic, and let their emotions get the best of them when something challenging was mentioned. This was a precarious position where he could make no errors. Otherwise Coach Eiji had promised that he would not be able to come within fifty metres of the basketball court for the remainder of the year.

It irked him, but this was the only manner in which he could stay fettered to basketball.

One advantage of being a manager was he got to watch all the matches to gather data. He had run into Satsuki, who was watching the Shuutoku and Kaijou match. She was there to cheer them on, and Seijuurou had arrived early since the next match was the showdown between Yosen and Touou.

The one to win that match would face Rakuzan.

“Why aren’t you in uniform?” asked Satsuki, startled that he was in the stands.

“I’m gathering data.”

She prodded further. “Don’t you ask the second-string students and the managers to do it?”

There was no avoiding her. She had probably already heard that he was not playing. “I am temporarily the manager.”

“Eh! Why?” asked Satsuki. “Isn’t that too much work for you? Playing and gathering data as well. Are you sure you can juggle all that?” her brows were drawn up in concern.

“I am not playing for the time being.” He replied.

“You’re not playing!” she yelled, catching the attention of everyone seated near them. She winced and whispered. “As in, you’re only playing against the Miracles right? That’s how it always goes.”

“No, Momoi-san.” His eyes were on the game, Ryouta had managed to block one of Shintarou’s shots. “I won’t be playing at all this season.”

“Why? What happened? Did your dad forbid you?” her words were a rushed waterfall. “Was it because of last season? But he let you play against Jabberwock.”

“No. He hasn’t been troubling me as of late.” He replied. “I’m working with a therapist now, and I was recommended to pause playing competitively.”

“Akashi-kun,” she began. “You’re going to a therapist?”

It was always irritating to explain this part, “Yes.” So he opted not to.

Satsuki did not ask further and turned her attention to the match. It ended soon with Kaijou winning and progressing to the semi-finals.

She stood up to head to the locker rooms.

“Akashi-kun,” called Satsuki before she left. “I’m glad, that you’re healing.” She smiled.

He did not know what to say, all he could do was look at her, hoping something got conveyed.

“It’s a shame we can’t see you play, or watch you fight against Touou,” she continued, clutching the book she had brought to her chest. “But, return soon okay? It’ll be lonely without you.”

Return.

Of course he would, there would be no doubt about it. He would compensate for the previous loss with his own hands. “I will. See you at the semi-finals.”

Opening a fresh page, he awaited the start of the next match.

He had yet to meet Kouki, since they had arrived just a day ago and obviously, the team took precedence. Additionally, confessing in the middle of such intense matches would only throw off Kouki’s psyche and it would affect the team. If the situation were like the previous year, he could have confessed without qualms since Kouki had rarely played. But this season, he was in most of the games.

The confession would have to wait for a while.

The stadium started filling up again and he spotted red and white uniforms.

‘Seirin? Their match ended before this.’

Taiga had spotted him and yelled his name from the entrance door. Rowdy as always. Kouki was behind him, and had also taken notice of him. He smiled earnestly and waved at him as he approached.

Tetsuya and Taiga got past him and sat at his right. Kouki sat at his left.

Heat swelled through his chest as he settled beside him. They were close, extremely so. Kouki’s hair was slightly damp, presumably from the shower, and it fell over his face with a feathery softness. He smelled a little sweet.

His heart ricocheted rapidly, increasing with every breath he took. Kouki’s lips were parted and he wet them occasionally, drawing Seijuurou’s attention.

“This, match is going to be really, neat huh?” commented Kouki, eyes on the court as the teams entered. He had always reminded him of a fawn, or of forest fairies that flitted about in the evergreens. Kouki was not impressive at first glance, but it was the details. The way his eyes crinkled when he got excited. And when he looked right at him, perhaps right past him, whenever he spoke from his heart. Or the way his eyes lit up in the sunlight, going through a million shades in seconds.

“Who do you think might win?”

When he spoke, it was tinkling bells. Merry and festive, drawing him into his world as well. It was the way he wore his heart on his sleeve, the way he did now. Kouki scratched at his cheek and looked around, drawing into himself. Oddly charming in a way people wouldn’t pause to understand.

“I’m sorry what did you ask?” He had almost forgotten. It was mortifying to have zoned out in the middle of a conversation.

“Like, who do you think might win, you know?” he reiterated, pulling at the sleeves of his coat. It was another nervous quirk of his.

Why was he nervous?

“I cannot tell, it purely depends on who sets the flow of the game.”

He pointed to the scoreboard. “Yosen’s in the lead.”

Yosen was leading? How did that happen? He looked to the black and red board and Kouki was right, Yosen were in a one-point lead already. How did he miss that?

He had to catch up quickly, he had barely taken notes on both the teams and their progress. This was proving to be a disaster.

“Aomine and Murasakibara’s one-on-one will determine the progress of the game.” He commented.

“Murasakibara-kun is already moving across the court.” Added Tetsuya. He and Taiga, along with Kouki had begun to run through the past five minutes of the game, though he had not prodded. The rest of the team joined and he took down the necessary information based on their report.

It wasn’t useful though, most of it was predicted. He need more details, their improvements.

It was obvious Atsushi would not stand still since Daiki was formidable on offense and would easily score. Tatsuya could hold him off, but it would be exhausting to do so since their styles were polar opposites. Tatsuya was like a ballerina, trained to abide by rules for years. Daiki could only be compared to a freestyle street dancer.

Atsushi was the only one who could match up with his speed.

‘Details, what has changed about them?’

“Aomine is avoiding a one-on-one with Murasakibara.” Said Kouki. “Murasakibara is actively approaching him, it’s, it’s like-“

“-Murasakibara knows he’s going to win.” The two said in chorus.

Seijuurou tried not to look into it. It was a coincidence anyways, it meant nothing. “Yosen will win this game. Himuro might be a bad match-up with Aomine, but he can easily move past Sakurai. Wakamatsu can’t defeat Murasakibara’s defence as well.”

Nodding, Kouki added. “And Aomine’s trying to exploit his and Himuro-san’s incompatibility by trying to fight him face-to-face. But I don’t think it’ll work.”

“Sakurai is leading Himuro to Aomine.”

They discussed the rest of the game, which helped with the notes. Kouki was more emotionally invested, and he was biased towards Touou. Whenever they scored, he screamed along with the Touou supporters the cheer. Taiga was visibly on Yosen’s side because of Tatsuya. The Seirin team was split into two almost, Junpei and Riko being the only ones who took a neutral position.

Kouki was spirited, standing up from his seat often to cheer for them. He wondered if he would applaud for Rakuzan with such enthusiasm. Would he be able to see him? It would be nice, to have him cheering from the stands, perhaps screaming his name the way he did any of the Touou members.

Perhaps, he could afford to look away from the game a little, during the time-outs and the half time. Kouki’s voice was slightly hoarse from the cheering. Riko as well as Junpei had tried to control the team, but it proved futile. The team was arguing, Taiga and Kouki leading each side.

“I support both.” Said Tetsuya, which meant there was one person down for the Yosen side. Seijuurou joined Yosen’s supporters.

“You traitor!” Declared Kouki, standing up. “I thought you were on my side!”

Seijuurou stood up as well, and in a moment of adrenaline and boldness, he moved closer to Kouki. “You should know I am always on the winning side.” They were less than ten centimetres apart, and if he moved just a little closer, just a little more-

“And Touou takes back the lead in the final second!” the commentator’s voice boomed through the stadium, startling Kouki, and he fell backward onto Koiichi. Kouki remained there for a few seconds, blushing beet red.

“Furi you’re fucking heavy get off!” complained Koiichi and the brunet scrambled back up, taking back his seat.

Everyone settled down once again, waiting for the final quarter to begin. Tetsuya tapped his shoulder, and Seijuurou leaned closer.

“Akashi-kun, you’re being too obvious.” Said Tetsuya.

He sighed. Of course the instigator of this mess knew. “Stay quiet.” Said Seijuurou, returning to his notes, but Tetsuya looked smug. This was proving to be annoying.


	30. Chapter 30

The semi-finals ended with Yosen losing against Rakuzan, leaving them to vie for third place. Rakuzan entered the final bracket, which was expected of such a strong line-up. It was Winter Cup all over again

Seirin versus Rakuzan.

The match was neck-and-neck even when Seijuurou wasn’t playing. Seijuurou played basketball like he did Shogi. His teammates were the game pieces.

Off-court, he was as bad as Satsuki.

Unfortunately, the void he left behind was felt by both teams. Like a sky robbed of the sun. 

Seirin won.

Unlike last time, he played for more than five minutes. The medal he wore felt more earned than obligatory. He held it close to, the weight of gold heavy in his hand.

The team were chanting their cheer as they headed to the locker room, and he couldn’t help but let himself be swept up away by the excitement. Two consecutive championships.

He almost wanted to cry.

“Don’t cry idiot!” Taiga ruffled his hair. “We won!”

As a team, they lifted up Daigo, since he had gotten in a last minute rebound which had brought back their spirit. At the beginning of the year, Kouki was a little envious of him but those emotions were faded as time went by. His junior earned his skills and he aided in their victory and at the end of the day that was what mattered.

To celebrate, they headed to a nearby restaurant along with the other teams.

It was a simple family diner and the restaurant was filled with familiar face and basketball jerseys of different colours. Yosen came third and Rakuzan second. The three teams mingled with each other and none stuck to their own teams. Kouki did not personally know much of them so he mostly stuck with Seirin. 

He did not account for his teammates knowing others and wanting to interact with them, hence the table emptied as quickly as they set their bags down, leaving him alone.

With Seijuurou.

Somehow.

“Congratulations.” Seijuurou said as he slid closer.

“That, yeah, thank you.” Kouki sighed in relief. That was a decent response. “You guys were tough. We barely won.”

“Fear not,” Seijuurou eyed the menu. “Winter Cup will be an assured victory for us.” He smiled brilliantly as he declared it. Honestly, he didn’t even mind that he was threatening him, not when he looked so radiant. The thunderous noisiness faded to static as he heard Seijuurou speak.

“Then I’ll look forward to it.”

They placed their orders and ate in silence. Most avoided their table and sat farther away from them. It was the silent corner, where people came to take refuge from all the chatter that continued with fervour amongst the others.

Kouki couldn’t help but glance at Seijuurou. He wondered what it was like to watch Rakuzan, unable to use his power to make things better.

“Are you okay?” he asked, setting aside the chopsticks.

Seijuurou paused, coughing into his napkin. “Yes. Why do you ask?”

“No, it’s just, the match.”

“I am fine.” He wiped his lips, setting the napkin down. “Someone rather wise told me it is not about failure, but about trying again.”

His mind whirled, thoughts fogged in steam. “Is that so?”

Quirking a brow in question, Seijuurou looked at him. But he sighed and turned back to his bowl and continued to eat.

The rest of the meal proceeded in a strange quiet that neither dared to shake off. He tapped his feet against the ground underneath the table and drank an unholy amount of water. If this went on, Kouki was sure he would do something stupid, like get a bowl of rice dunked on his head.

It was a very real possibility. Shintarou had gotten food thrown on his head straight from the barbecue in one of their outings.

He stood up, and so did Seijuurou.

“I am going to the restroom.” Said Seijuurou.

“Uh, yeah, me too.”

Great, he couldn’t have a meltdown anymore.

With stilted steps he followed behind Seijuurou and they each headed into a bathroom stall.

There was a loophole to this situation. He could just wait longer than Seijuurou and once he headed out, he could scream into his hand.

That would work well.

He stood in the stall, waiting for the click of the lock opening and footsteps heading out. But if he stayed in too long, there was the risk of him thinking he was pooping, which was never attractive.

Sacrifices had to be made.

He leaned against the stall door and looked at his watch.

The minutes ticked by and he almost nodded off. The game was exhausting and he had woken up early as well. He could afford a nap, though this was far from the ideal situation. Seijuurou would possibly leave in a minute or two.

He shut his eyes and relaxed.

About five minutes had passed when he woke again.

Though he had not heard any tell-tale signs of Seijuurou exiting, it really was a long while to be in a stall.

Kouki thought back on his behaviour when he first met him at the Touou and Yosen game. That was a new level of clumsiness even for him.

Seijuurou had leaned in so close and almost whispered about how right he was. How none could get the best of him.

It should not have been so hot, but gosh did victory and confidence look especially good on him.

“Why, you idiot?” he banged his head against the door with each word. “Why, why, why can’t you get a fucking grip?” He muffled his mouth against his arm and screamed. “Seriously who the fuck trips on a chair? It’s not a good look!”

He chuckled mirthlessly. “Hi, my name is Furihata Kouki and I’m the dumbass that has the special ability to trip on literal air.”

Muffling himself once again, he groaned.

“Furi?”

Shit.

Fuck.

What?

“Akashi!?”

The voice came from the nearby stall.

Why was Seijuurou still there?

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice laced with concern.

‘Hi, my name is Furihata Kouki and I’m the biggest loser in Japan.’

At the very least, he had to respond normally to salvage whatever was left of his dignity. “Uh, yeah, I just, you know, have issues.”

“Would you like speak about it?”

Was Seijuurou an angel? This was his first response to such an embarrassing showcase on his behalf. No normal man would volunteer to listen to him in a bathroom stall.

He would rather stand in an active volcano than speak. “No, it’s, it’s not anything big so you don’t have to worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Positive. Don’t worry.”

He could not hide any longer. Might as well ponder upon his self-loathing at a nicer place. Unlocking the door, he stepped out, and Seijuurou exited as well.

He wanted to cry.

They washed their hands in awkward silence and headed together to the door. They reached for the handle simultaneously, and Kouki pulled back. Contact, even if it was small, would only make him want to bite his fingernails off.

Seijuurou had the same idea as well, apparently.

“Uh, no, you go ahead.” Said Kouki, looking away, scratching at the back of his head.

“No, please, go ahead.”

“It’s fine, you-“

The door slammed into his nose as it opened with a bang.

“Oh, Akashicchi! This is where you were, your team’s been looking for you!” Ryouta grinned.

Holding onto his nose, Kouki winced in pain. It throbbed and he could hardly breathe, eyes welling up with tears.

“Are you alright?” asked Seijuurou, panicked. “Kise, be more careful!”

“Oh crap, did I hit you?” asked the blond boy. Kouki waved him off, still clutching onto his nose. “No, it’s fine, I’m alright.”

“Furi you’re bleeding!”

“I am?” his voice was muffled and he pulled back his hand. Right, He was bleeding.

It wasn’t anything internal, just a sharp cut atop his nose bridge. His nose flinched with pain, which made things worse. Seijuurou led him outside and asked for a Band-Aid.

“There’s some in my duffel bag.” Kouki pointed to his bag as they sat at their previous location. He held onto the skin around the injury, hoping for relief. Tears ran down his face. This was the second time he was crying and wounded in front of Seijuurou.

What a record.

As Seijuurou’s searched through his bag, Kouki belatedly remembered that the boy’s kerchief was in his bag. Right alongside his makeshift first-aid kit.

‘Maybe, whatever higher power is up there just hates me.’

Seijuurou cleaned his wound and applied the Band-Aid onto the cut. It wasn’t that bad, but the pain was hard to ignore, and any appetite he had was lost.

The red-head sat beside him. It looked like he had not noticed the handkerchief.

Or he did and just had a really good poker face.

Everyone continued to party, but Seijuurou did not indulge, sitting beside Kouki.

Did he feel obligated?

“Akashi, you can go ahead and enjoy with Rakuzan.” Said Kouki. He deserved better than to tend to mistakes caused by his own lack of intelligence.

“No, I’m quite enjoying myself over here.”

Stupidly kind-hearted, dashing, gentleman, idiot Seijuurou. Seijuurou whom he loved and couldn’t have but sat so close to him that he could feel his heat along his body. He really wanted to just curl up in a ditch.

“You are enjoying yourself in this awkward silence with an injured guy?” asked Kouki. “I’m fine. Go to your team. Or talk to Kuroko or Kise, bet you can’t see them for a while.”

“I,” he trailed, turning his face to the crowd. “I cannot see you for a long while either.”

Blood rushed to his face, heating up his neck. His hands were clammy against his thighs as he searched for slipping syllables to form coherent thoughts.

This was so cruel.

Why would Seijuurou pick him over the others? Kouki was burdening him. Seijuurou deserved a nice celebration for all the troubles he went through in such a short time span.

Kouki leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. “But,they’re your friends.”

“And are you not?”

It would be impossible to move on. So utterly useless to try and forget him because this was _Seijuurou_. Somehow, he had already taken a piece of his heart and Kouki doubted he would ever get it back.

“I am, right? Your friend.” He opened one of his eyes too look at the red-head.

Seijuurou nodded. “Rest assured.”

They exited the shop after two hours.

“Furi,” called Seijuurou as he headed to the entrance where his team was gathered. “Could you accompany me to the train station?”

“What?” He couldn’t do this.

He wanted to combust, he wanted to implode. It ached yet he yearned for this. He was turning into a masochist somehow. Every minute spent near Seijuurou was a reminder that he could never have him, yet he wished to stay close, knowing it would all surmount to pain.

“My team will be heading back tomorrow,” explained Seijuurou. “I have booked a train earlier for myself. It would be nice to have company.”

He always did have trouble controlling his impulses.

“Okay, I’ll come with.” Said Kouki, willing his lips to turn upwards though it irritated the cut. He bid farewell to his team as well as the others, and suddenly, it was just the two of them.

“Shall we walk?” asked Seijuurou. Kouki nodded.

Time passed by in neon lights, blazing past the road and standing stagnant in the skies against blocks of cut-grey. They walked side by side, the pedestrian path narrow, pushing them closer.

Kouki pushed his hands into his pant-pockets, knowing well his control was thinning. It was silent, except for the blare of horns and the chatter of passer-by’s.

His heart beat drummed in his ears, and Seijuurou’s presence was suffocating.

“You played well today.” Said Seijuurou. They turned the corner and the station came into sight.

“Thanks. You were pretty amazing with your strategies.” Replied Kouki. “I could almost feel like you were playing, you know?”

Was that creepy? That couldn’t be creepy. Feeling his presence when he wasn’t there wasn’t creepy was it?

“Thank you.” Said Seijuurou.

He was hypnotized, unmoving.

Kouki knew he wouldn’t be able to see the blazing fire of his hair and earnest eyes for months. In the bright lights softened through the darkness, Seijuurou looked small. Small enough to hold.

His arms itched by his side but he could do nothing but wish. “This is it then-“

“-No.” said Seijuurou. “Could you accompany me to the counters as well?”

He might actually break down. “Sure.” The last few minutes for months.

He felt a little greedy.

They headed inside and reached the ticket-scanning counters. People rushed in and out in quick files, mechanically scanning their cards and walking out.

In the chaos they stood still.

“Furi, I have something to say.”

Kouki couldn’t look up, his eyes were fixed to the floor and his hands gripped at the handle of his bag. “Uh, sure, go ahead.” He hesitated. “Wait, this is about the handkerchief isn’t it?” His hands roamed for the zipper and he pulled it open. This was what started it. He had to give it away.

With trembling, sweaty fingers, he handed it over. Seijuurou wrapped his hands around Kouki’s digits and cradled them, pulling closer to Kouki.

It was torture.

“The train arrives in five minutes,” said Seijuurou, pulling so close that their noses could brush against each other if he inched closer. “For a while, I have been…”

What was going on?

Seijuurou’s grip tightened, holding him in place. It was dizzying.

“I have been,” The red-head looked at their twining fingers. “I prepared a speech but I have forgotten.”

“Speech? Speech for what?”

Seijuurou didn’t repeat himself, he did not forget. That was not his thing. That was Kouki’s thing.

“This should have been phrased more concisely, and elegantly, and, and I do not expect an acceptance of this declaration but I wish to say it just as well.” Seijuurou’s voice trembled as he bit his lips. “I don’t know since when, or how, but I see you in a different light. You _make_ me see things in a different light, and I did not know things could look this way.”

He didn’t understand. He couldn’t respond.

He was ice, and so was time.

“I never thought I wanted this, it was a hindrance, a pain.”

Kouki knew it. Obviously someone like Seijuurou saw someone like him as an annoyance.

“But it is not. Reo-nee had to knock sense into me for this,” Seijuurou had not looked up at all, staring at their hands where they connected. Kouki couldn’t tell if it was he who was shaking, or if it was Seijuurou.

He gulped, uneven breaths moving like tides.

“I have never felt so incompetent before.” The red-head chuckled. “Not once have my words failed me but you make me so. These jitters as well, I have never felt them.”

Kouki knew of dreams, of how the human body was unreliable. How sight, touch and even sound can fool one.

“It scares me. So many things have occurred over the past year that have left me feeling inadequate, and I realize that I am. It scared me, it still does. But this is one weakness I enjoy.” His hands ached as Seijuurou hold grew stronger. “I can’t enjoy it after this though.”

Seijuurou breathed in and smiled, looking right into Kouki’s eyes. “I like you, romantically.”

“What?”

“I know you will reject me, but I had to say it for myself. To move on.”

“No wait what?”

The announcement of the next train’s arrival boomed through the station.

“Goodbye, Furi.” He said. “Keep the kerchief, a parting gift.” He smiled and headed to the counters, swiping his card.

Did Seijuurou say he liked him?

He said he liked him.

Akashi Seijuurou liked him.

Him!

The red-head stood behind the yellow line, awaiting the train.

‘Wait, did he say I’d reject him?’

Of course he wouldn’t! He would be insane to do so. He had been thinking non-stop about him the entire season. Day and night, looking through their messages and Seijuurou’s pictures like an idiot and honing into whatever Tetsuya said when he mentioned Seijuurou, trying to insert himself to get to know more.

It was so pathetic. He was absolutely gone for him and he thought he would reject him?

The approaching sound of whirring train engines resonated through the structure. The train halted in front of him, the doors opened, and Seijuurou stepped inside.

“Akashi!” he yelled from behind the counters.

In that moment, the station was nothing, the people were nothing. Everything was inconsequential except for the boy he liked.

“I like you too!”

The doors shut and the train left.

He was gone.

That was it.

‘Is that it?’

His phone rang. It was Seijuurou.

 _“Did you say that you like me as well?”_ Seijuurou asked, sounding urgent.

“Yeah?”

_“Oh.”_

“So are we-“

_“-Do you want to?”_

“…Yeah. I, want to.”

_“Me too.”_

“Oh. Okay.” What should one say after an affirmed confession? “Have a safe trip.”

_“Thank you.”_

It was silent. What now?

A security guard approached him.

“Kid, you can’t scream in the middle of a station.” He said.

Kouki looked between his phone and the security guard. “Uh, Akashi, I’ll call you back, there’s an issue here. Bye-bye.” He cut the call and bowed to the security guard. “I’m so sorry, it was an emergency.”

The security guard laughed. “Don’t worry kid. Confession?”

“Uh,” he scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, just don’t repeat that, I’ll let you off with a warning.” He laughed and left Kouki alone, the rest of the waiting passengers who had heard his confession were staring at him. Mumbles about ‘youth’ and ‘young love’ traversed through the place.

He ran outside and tried to comprehend exactly what happened.

He woke up in the morning.

Then he got to the stadium.

After that they played in the finals and won.

And he got a boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, we have reached the end(almost).  
> 30 chapters, 80k+ words, lots of pandering & confusion later, it has happened.  
> When I named the series 'I'm Awkward(But, like, so are you?)' I knew I had to make the confession the most awkward thing possible.  
> So here we are. 
> 
> THEY'RE DATING!!!
> 
> Is anyone even reading this hot mess anymore?
> 
> Anyways, here we are. Only one more chapter to go!
> 
> [To anyone curious, Akashi was also having a meltdown in the bathroom stall while revising his 20 page long confession with a plethora of metaphors, quotations from famous poets and possible original poetry in the mix]


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mediocre end not gonna lie.  
> I've sort of moved past this fic and I put the least effort in the last chapter.  
> This journey comes to an end after almost a year of torture lolol.  
> Until the next fic guys.

“I should’ve known something was up when he only called you.” Said Taiga, downing the tea Tetsuya brought. “Why are you even hiding this in the first place?” he asked. “It’s not like our team cares about that stuff.”

“Well, you know, I haven’t come out to our team yet,” Replied Kouki. “I guess I need some time, Kawa and Fuku will want to be the first ones to know.”

“Additionally, Kuroko,” said Seijuurou. “You meddle. You meddled even before anything started.”

Tetsuya put up his hands in defeat. “You got me there.”

Grumbling, Taiga leaned back. “Seriously. I did not want to find out the way I did.”

“Sorry.” Kouki bowed. “We’ll be more careful next time.”

It was at the back alley near a café where they somehow found the confidence to kiss after dating for a little over two months. Until then, they had only ever held hands and cuddled. Neither had made a move. But that day, they were walking back and found a couple on the streets kissing and Kouki had to ask.

Seijuurou never initiated physical contact. He seemed content with talking all day long and being in each other’s presence. Kouki was expecting more. His dreams every night didn’t really help either. Seriously, it was a shame that they had done nothing when Seijuurou looked like _that_ twenty-four hours of the day, every day.

So he had to ask.

“Akashi, do you, you know…” and theory was always easier than practice. “Do you not want to…do stuff.”

“Do what?”

Right, he had to spell it out. For a boy with I.Q. higher than anyone in Japan, he was denser than a black hole sometimes.

“Physical intimacy, and stuff?” The most unattractive way to say kiss.

Smiling, Seijuurou replied. “We are holding hands.”

Kouki was almost endeared with how innocent he was. Almost. 

“No, like, more. You know, stuff like,” they weren’t five. He had a boyfriend and was in a steady relationship. He could say the word ‘kiss’. He could do it! “Like, kissing, and…”

There was the million dollar question. And what else?

He knew what ‘and’ meant. But he was dealing with a boy who was content with holding hands so perhaps that was taking it too far. Seijuurou was so wholesome sometimes it hurt his heart. Kouki hoped he didn’t completely scare Seijuurou off with his own desires.

Braving a glance up, he found the red-head blushing, practically blending in with his hair.

“We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!” he tried to distract from the previous question. Damage control was the worst. He truly fucked up. “I was just putting it out there since a lot of couples do it and we haven’t and I thought why not just clear it up. It’s fine if you don’t want to.” he chuckled. “Don’t take it too seriously!”

“I wish to.” Replied Seijuurou.

Simple. Short. Like a bullet.

“You want to?” asked Kouki.

“Yes.” Seijuurou’s face was tinted red but he wore the same expression he did before entering a game. It was mildly threatening and entirely adorable. 

‘What country did I save in my last life?’

“When?” He winced. Wrong question!

It sounded clingy and over-eager. The goal was to be suave, or whatever level of suaveness he could pull off. Which wasn’t much in the first place.

“Whenever you desire.” Seijuurou replied, like they were setting up the time for a conference. Not making out.

“I’m fine with, whenever,” he looked around, afraid of losing all coherency if he looked directly at Seijuurou. “It’s up to you.”

“You can’t simply say that.” He replied. Kouki slowly turned to him and found him in the exact state, but he looked a little pained. “I am rather greedy. That time frame you provided is vast.”

“I- I just want you to be comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable now.”

“Oh.”

And so they stumbled into the closest alleyway they found, and stood right behind some damp cardboard boxes. It smelled weird and there were cigarette butts a little farther ahead, butKouki could care less. He was about to be kissed! By his totally hot boyfriend! Did he mention his boyfriend was hot? Because that must be advertised. He wasn’t just hot though, oh no, he was the most perfect human to walk on the cursed planet. Many may say the same about their own significant others but that was purely bias.

Did their lover rank first in all of his exams since the day they were born? Did their lovers own a pretty white horse? Did their lovers beat professional shogi players? If not, then they were wrong. Seijuurou was the best, objectively speaking. Case closed.

Somehow, this boy was in his arms, leaning back against a wall, eyes fluttering shut. Kouki leaned close and let their lips brush, testing the waters. He immediately knew he wanted more.

First try, there was too much teeth. They may have cut each other’s lips a little, based on the metallic tinge on his tongue.

Second try, Seijuurou bumped right into his nose.

Third try, they had a rhythm going, but Kouki forgot to breath, and he had to pull back to cough.

Fourth try.

Fourth try was good. Their lips almost melded together, and he could taste the strawberry from the milkshake Seijuurou had earlier. Pulling back he placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and moved to his lips once again. He positioned his hands on Seijuurou’s shoulder, tilting his own head up to fully meet his height. Seijuurou grew taller over the year. Kouki wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close.

Kouki was sure if he died then and there, he would die happy. 

“Furi what the fuck!”

They scrambled away from one other.

They looked to the entrance of the alleyway, eyes trained on the source of excalamtion.

Taiga and Tetsuya.

Hence, the impromptu gathering at Taiga’s apartment.

Taiga laughed. “Seriously, who would have thought?” He looked between the two. “You two? I’d have believed it if Akashi started dating Murasakibara.”

Seijuurou blanched. “Never.”

Kouki glared at him. “You’re being mean, he’s really handsome and nice you know? Well, once you give him the Maiubou peace-offering.”

“So you would be alright with me dating him? Or do you wish to date him?”

The brunet raised a brow in question. “You know that’s not what I meant. Why would I look at anyone else?”

Seijuurou basically preened, sitting straighter with a smug smirk. “I would choose no one else but you either.”

“You guys are disgusting.” Said Taiga.

Tetsuya shrugged. “We’ve done worse.”

The remaining two nodded in agreement.

“So can you guys keep this under the wraps?” asked Kouki, taking a cookie. “I’m not ready yet.”

Nodding, Taiga replied. “Of course. Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Thank you.” Said Kouki, glad that it was easily resolved. Not the most ideal way to inform them he was dating Seijuurou, but was anything ever normal with them?

Their conversation drifted away from the topic, the initial shock of the news wearing off. It was just Taiga who had not known and he adapted easily to things in general.

Kouki observed Seijuurou, fascinated by the boy beside him. They hadn’t been dating for long, so they were firmly in what many called the honeymoon phase. Yeah, Seijuurou was perfect, but he doubted people noticed some of his more human flaws that were ingrained in him, both the good and the bad ones.

How his laughs were always a little contained, but when he did let go of restraint, it wasn’t serene jingles of bells, but thrashing waves. Though he always knew what to do, he did hesitate, and if one looked for the signs, it would be there to see. Like how he curled his pinkie when tensed.

Or now, intently listening to what the other two had to say, shoulders relaxed and spine not as straight as it always was. Yeah, he was perfect. But he also wasn’t, and it took a while for him to find the little things out, and he loved every new discovery.

“Hey, we could go on double dates now.” Suggested Kouki.

“No.” Tetsuya and Seijuurou said simultaneously.

“But we’d look less suspicious if we go together.” He argued. “Also, it’ll be cheaper!”

Tetsuya was more deadpan than usual. “They’re rich.”

Taiga glared. “For the last time, I’m not that rich. It’s just the dollar value increases in conversion.”

“But it could be fun.” Kouki continued. “More the merrier right?” He looked to Seijuurou, knowing he would be the hardest to convince.

Well, it would be hard if this was based on logic. He used alternate weapons.

“Please Seijuurou?” he pouted, widening his eyes. “I promise it’ll be fun.”

The red-head looked conflicted. “Fine. I would not be opposed to that idea, but it certainly won’t be the most pleasant experience.” He leaned closer. “I want payment.”

Kouki grumbled. It was always like this. Equal exchange or whatever. “Fine, name your price.”

He smirked. “I will inform you of that later.”

Kouki contained his laughter and basked in the conversation. Winter Cup was in less than a month. There was a sense of melancholy, since it was the last match they could play with their seniors. The founding members of the Seirin Basketball club would be gone. It was scary, it was exciting.

He was apprehensive, but he dug his heels in and decided for himself that he would not run. 

Something wonderful always awaited when he overcame his terrors. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K the last one is a really bad. Sorry about the lacklustre end


End file.
